Nowhere for Christmas

by Heather Gray

  Her hands were clenched in her lap, and Gavin reached over and rested one of his hands on hers. “I think you’ve covered all those bases. You can’t force the man to be a part of Eli’s life, but that kid will never doubt your love. He has grown up knowing what it means to be wanted and valued. There are lots of kids out there with two parents who can’t say the same thing.”

  Avery pulled one of her hands out of his grasp and rested it on top of his. With his hand sandwiched between both hers, he felt every nuance of her touch, and warmth moved through him, starting at the fingertips and moving its way to his chest.

  ****

  They drove along in peaceful quiet with nothing but the soft sound of the radio in the background for the next several miles. Avery had shared more with Gavin than she had anybody else in a long time. First, asking him about Eli’s faith, and then telling him about her son’s father.

  She didn’t understand why, but she trusted him in a deep-down way that didn’t feel as foreign to her as she thought it should. Surprised by her reaction to him, Avery finally acknowledged that she wanted to get to know him better, and not just in the usual surface way. A practical person at heart, facts usually shaped her logical approach to any situation. With Gavin, though, it was somehow different. The events of his life didn’t matter as much as how they’d affected him, and logic was overruled by how she felt when she was around him.

  “What about you? I imagine when you were ready to go back to work, you could have gotten a job anywhere. How’d you end up at the Albuquerque Times?”

  Gavin let out a sardonic laugh. His hand, which he’d reclaimed for driving a few miles back, now tugged at his stocking cap.

  “I burned a lot of bridges.” He stopped, his hand tapping out a beat on the steering wheel. “When I decided to take care of my mom, I quit everything, walked away. People were left in the lurch because of my choices. As a result, a lot of them ended up with a sour taste in their mouths whenever my name came up. Plus, some other new up-and-coming stars were on the rise. Similar to any fame-based industry, once your name is forgotten for even a week, you can be replaced. And I was. Replaced, that is.”

  “I’m sure there were some people out there still willing to give you a chance.”

  He nodded, “There were, but I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I wasn’t sure I wanted to head back into the world I’d been in before. While I went into photojournalism because I wanted to make a difference, the reality of the industry is a lot more political than I’d realized when I made that choice. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back.” He stopped long enough to adjust the air vents for the heater and to give the rearview mirror the tiniest shift to the left. “Spending those last years with Mom reminded me of the simpler times when life had a slower pace and everyone was happier.”

  “Slow isn’t always bad,” she said.

  He chuckled. “No, I think it’s pretty good. When Audrey asked me if I’d be interested in doing some work for Mitchell, I balked. The idea of a pity job didn’t appeal. She was my sister, and I loved her for it, but I didn’t want her forcing her husband to give me a job. Then Mitchell called a couple days later to say it had been his idea, not Audrey’s. He’d asked her to call because he thought she’d be better at convincing me. I might not have been able to find the kind of work I wanted, but my name still garnered enough recognition that he thought it would bring some credibility to the Times.”

  “It did. It’s your name and skill as a photographer that brought our small town feature to national attention and got us syndication.”

  “Don’t say so during contract negotiations, or you’ll get burned,” he said with a quiet laugh trilling through his words like a clarinet in concert.

  “Do you enjoy working for the Times?” She was fishing for information but hoped he wouldn’t catch on.

  The smile on his face said he had a pretty good idea what she was digging for.

  “The syndication forced me to sign papers, so I’ve committed the next year to Mitchell. I figure I owed him at least that much. He’s been good to me, both personally and professionally. There are a lot of snakes out there, and he’s not one of them. I can live with giving him the next year of my life.”

  Another minute later, Avery said, “I hate to say anything, but…”

  Gavin finished the sentence, “…the heat’s gone out.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Hollis, OK

  December 24, 7:15 p.m.

  “There’s one!” Avery pointed to a looming sign for a truck stop, and Gavin navigated the car in the correct direction. As it came to a stop in one of the parking spots, she asked, “Are you sure they’ll be able to help with the heat?”

  Gavin shrugged and said, “If not, they can tell us who might be able to. We won’t make it without heat. The windows are fogging up too bad, and with the passenger window taped closed, I can’t ask you to roll it down and help me to see. Besides, if nothing else, they’ll have a windshield wiper for us.”

  “Or a portable defroster,” Eli said.

  Avery spun to her son and asked, “A what?”

  He gave her a smug look and said, “I know more than you think I do about the real world. They sell portable defrosters that plug into the cigarette lighter. I don’t know how effective they are, but I know they’re out there.”

  The always-in-control parent in her wanted to ask him how he knew about things like that, but, in all honesty, what did it matter? It’s not as if he claimed to know how to roll a joint. Knowing about DC-powered defrosters isn’t exactly a red flag of pending parental doom.

  They entered the truck stop together. Avery headed straight for the restroom. One of these days I’ll go see a doctor… Oh, who am I kidding? One of these days I won’t make it in time, and then I’ll be motivated to go see someone for a prescription. I don’t remember learning about these kinds of consequences in sex ed.

  As she’d come to expect from him, by the time she’d exited the restroom, Gavin had found the replacement windshield wiper and was juggling two different defrosters that could plug into the cigarette lighter. He was comparing information on the box.

  When she approached, he said, “I’m thinking we should get both.” As he continued to scrutinize the boxes, he added, “In case one works better than the other.”

  “How does it work?” She wanted to know.

  He showed her the picture. “Plug it in, and then place it on the dashboard directed toward the window you need cleared.”

  A burly trucker, well over six feet tall, with a big bushy beard, stopped by them and said, “You got defroster trouble?” His hulking presence made the narrow aisle shrink around them. Noticing for the first time that they were in a dead-end aisle, Avery tried to inch her way toward freedom only to realize there was no way to get past the trucker without first asking him to move.

  Gavin, who Avery had thought of as tall, needed to look up at this man. “Uh, yeah,” he said, craning his neck. “The heat went out, and we need to make it to Nowhere.”

  “Nowhere?” Puzzled, the trucker said, “You ain’t gonna find nothing in Nowhere. Passed through there not too long ago. Place is shut down tight. Gone for the holidays, I’d say.”

  Looking at Gavin, Avery tried to silently communicate her disbelief. He’s got to be thinking of a different town.

  “What you drivin’?” the behemoth of a man asked.

  Nodding toward their barely visible car, Gavin said, “Older-model, small hatchback.”

  “And you’ve been able to drive okay on these roads? In that little thing?”

  “We’ve managed.”

  Eli, who had again snuck near without notice, declared from the other side of the trucker, “We had a flat tire, and the spare wasn’t aired up. Right after that, the bumper fell off. Then the thermostat stopped working and the car kept overheating. The windshield wipers fell off. Um… what else? Oh yeah. The passenger window got stuck down. Then the heat went out.” He
craned his neck until he caught view of his mom around the side of the trucker’s arm and asked, “Did I miss anything?”

  Embarrassment scorched through Avery, making her heart thump out a ground-please-swallow-me-now beat. The poor trucker gawked at them before running a giant hand over his hairy face. He swallowed a couple times, which Avery could see from her vantage point under his Adam’s apple. There was hair growing on it. She’d never noticed before that a man’s beard could grow down so low on his neck. I’ll bet that’s a difficult spot to shave.

  Eventually the trucker asked, “And why exactly are y’all still traveling?”

  “Long story,” Gavin said. “Do you have any suggestions about a portable defroster, or where we can go to get our defroster fixed?”

  The trucker looked at them suspiciously. Then he blinked a couple times and shook his head, his beard keeping beat with the movement. It seemed like he’d given up on expecting them to be reasonable.

  Touching one of the boxes, the trucker said, “This one should do the trick for you. It’s the better of the two. With all the trouble you’ve been having, though, you might want to get two. And one of these cans to fix a flat tire. Maybe some oil, too. He started retracing his steps out of the close-ended automotive aisle, handing them more items with each step. By the time he was done, they had everything from flashlights and shiny metallic emergency blankets to duct tape and flares. Lots of flares.

  The mammoth man led them up to the cash register then stepped outside to take a look at their car. When he came back in, he shook his head and said, “You’re crazy to be going to Nowhere, Oklahoma, this time of year, let alone this time of night.”

  “We have our orders,” Gavin said. “Besides, we’ve come too far to turn back now. And it hasn’t been all bad. I’ve gotten to know two complete strangers here.” He waved his hand toward Avery and Eli.

  Studying the group before him, the trucker swiveled his head back and forth between each of them. “You mean you aren’t a family?”

  Avery pulled Eli close and said, “We’re family, and by the time this trip is over and that rental car is returned, I’m pretty sure we’ll have adopted him, too.” She waved toward Gavin as she said those last words.

  Then the trucker again stared over to where the car was parked. “A rental?”

  They all nodded.

  “Y’all got ripped, you know that, right?”

  Avery’s mouth felt dry. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. Eli had to say, “Mom, let go,” to get her to realize how tightly she’d been squeezing his arm.

  It wasn’t the trucker’s fault they’d gotten such a horrible car. Yeah, but he didn’t have to point it out, either.

  “We appreciate your help,” Gavin said, indicating the defrosters and the pile of safety gear the man had heaped on them. The cashier was ringing it up but didn’t have a big enough bag to put it all in. “It’s okay,” Gavin said to her. “Bag it however you can. We’ll be fine.”

  The trucker didn’t say much after that, but he waved them off as they pulled out of their parking spot and headed toward the gas pumps.

  ****

  After Gavin gassed up the car, Avery offered to drive.

  “No, that’s okay. I’ve still got plenty of juice in me.” He was willing to say almost anything to keep her out of the driver’s seat.

  “I may have gotten pulled over in Amarillo, but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad driver. You’re safe with me behind the wheel.”

  “It’s not that. I make a better driver than passenger,” he said, hoping she would let the subject drop.

  “This is because I was driving when the thermostat died.”

  “No, it’s not. Honest.” Come on. Give it up and get into the passenger seat.

  Hands on her hips, eyes squinted, Avery said, “Then it’s because I was driving when the windshield wipers came off.”

  Gavin shook his head and moved to the passenger side of the car. “Have it your way, Avery. Go ahead. Get in.”

  Just tell her already.

  He ignored his inner voice and watched as Avery settled into the driver’s seat. The seat was reclining so far back, she was more or less looking straight up. Never mind reaching the pedals, they were way beyond where her toes could stretch.

  Avery pulled herself out of the car and began running her hands under the edge of the seat and along the back. Once she found it, she yanked downward on an adjustment lever, but nothing happened. She tried again, this time tugging at the seat-back with her other hand. “Push it forward, Eli,” she instructed.

  Eli pushed, grunting with the effort, but the seat-back refused to be moved.

  Squatting on the cold cement next to the car, which was still parked by the gas pump, Avery eyed Gavin, who was now sitting in the passenger seat, and said, “It appears to be stuck.”

  He nodded.

  “You knew it was stuck.”

  He again moved his head in the affirmative.

  “Were you at any point going to tell me about this?”

  “Not so much, no. I thought I’d keep driving, and you wouldn’t need to know.”

  Avery shook her head and returned to the passenger side of the hatchback. “I suppose you can drive then.”

  Gavin happily climbed out of the seat he’d been keeping warm and moved back to the other side of the car.

  “When did it get stuck?” Avery, it seemed, wasn’t going to let it go until she had all the information. No wonder she’d gone into journalism.

  “Not a clue,” he replied. “I first noticed it in Clarendon after I got the window up, but I don’t know if that’s when it started or not.”

  “Why didn’t you want to tell me?”

  Gavin gave an exasperated shrug and answered, “It seems silly now, but so many things have gone wrong. I didn’t want to add another one to the list.”

  Avery smiled at him and said. “You’re right. It is silly. But thoughtful. In a weird, trying-to-protect-the-damsel kind of way.”

  Watching the road, Gavin still couldn’t help but smile. So, in Avery’s world, rescuing a damsel was considered weird. That bit of information might prove useful someday.

  He’d watched her in the truck stop and had taken note of the way she’d handled herself. When the trucker first approached them, she’d been scared. She’d blinked rapidly and backed up when the large man had come close. By the time the trucker got around to saying something about her family, she’d gotten over her fear and had passed straight on through to defensive. As soon as the words about them not being family had left the trucker’s mouth, her chin had gone up, and her eyes had dared the giant of a man to disagree with anything she’d said.

  Adopted.

  What would it be like to get adopted by Avery and Eli? To be a part of their lives on a regular basis? To spend time with them that wasn’t in a car they’d all been forced into?

  “Do you ever wonder how different this trip might have gone if you’d gotten the original SUV you were supposed to get?”

  His question hung in the air between them for a little while before she answered. “Having seen the rental lot, I’m not sure it would have turned out much differently than it has, except repairs would be more expensive, I suppose.”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  She shrugged. “You mean, if we were all comfy and in a vehicle big enough where we could each have an entire bench seat to ourselves?”

  “Yeah, something along that line.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “You thought I was a man, and you were pretty determined to dislike me for being a woman. Would you have been able to get over it?”

  He laughed. “Talking is one of the things I do best. I would have tried to engage you in conversation to get to know you better. Or, if I foolishly still didn’t care for you because you’re a woman, I would have tried to talk to Eli.”

  “You’re good at that.”

  His heart warmed at the compliment. “My mom taught me years ago to
look behind the person to the story.”

  “I’m a journalist. I look for the story.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not the same. Journalists tend to look for the story, but they often miss the people. Photographers can get so preoccupied with the people that they miss the story.”

  “But a good photojournalist,” said Avery, “sees both.”

  “I have talked to people all over the world. Everyone,” he said, nodding for emphasis, “has a story. They may not all want to share it, but everyone has one. You show a little genuine interest in that story, and most people will open up to you and bend over backward to lend you a hand if you need it.”

  As he glanced over at her, he could see the wheels turning in Avery’s head.

  “You disagree?” he asked.

  “No, not so much. I think ‘genuine’ is the key word. It’s not something you can fake. If you try to engage someone in conversation because you want to get something out of them, it won’t get you anywhere.”

  “Whether they recognize it or not, most people instinctively know when they’re being played,” he said. “Try to schmooze someone because you want something, and you’re no better than a used car salesman. People know that.”

  “Shmooze?” Eli piped up to ask, “What, is this an eighties’ movie now, or something?”

  “How do you know that word’s from the eighties?” Avery asked.

  “Well, it’s definitely not from this century, and I don’t think even the nineties would have wanted it, so…”

  After another couple minutes, Gavin asked, “So, Eli, do you think we’d all be getting along this well if we’d had a nice big comfortable vehicle to drive in?”

  The teen leaned forward as far as his seatbelt would allow and got his head up close to his mom’s ear before saying, “Mom’s a tough nut to crack, so I don’t know. I’ve been telling her forever now that she needs to start dating again. The way I see it, all this close togetherness with someone of the opposite sex is good practice for her. It’ll help her get back into shape so she doesn’t embarrass herself when I do finally convince her to accept a date with a real live man.”