Hawk_Devil's Fury Book 3

by Torrie Robles

  “She. Doesn’t. Need. Croy.” Martha stands and glares at me.

  “She doesn’t need me!” I yell back. My chest heaves in anger. I’m pissed that I’m being dragged into this.

  “Tell him, Martha,” my mom rasps through tears. When did she start crying? “He needs to know.”

  I turn back towards Martha. The anger is gone from her face. Tears well in her eyes. “Tessa’s in the hospital.”

  Hawk

  I never understood the term autopilot until now.

  I don’t remember Martha giving me directions as my ears rang of her news. I don’t recall strapping on my helmet or racing through traffic in the rain for that matter. I barely remember asking for the floor Tessa Reese was on. But I’m here now, at the nurse’s station, one step closer to where I need to be.

  A blonde nurse wearing black scrubs with a polka dot ribbon pin sits behind the desk. She smiles at me while she’s chewing her gum. “May I help you?”

  I glance down the hallway towards the patient’s rooms and wonder if Croy is in there with her. Who the hell is with Sam right now? “Yes, I’m looking for Tessa Reese’s room?”

  Her lips form an ‘O’ shape. “Are you a friend of her boyfriend’s?”

  “Who?”

  “Her boyfriend, Croy? Man oh man, I’ve seen a lot of patients in my time, and I’ve never seen a man so devoted and torn up about his girlfriend. He told me a friend would be stopping by to keep her company while he ran home and checked on their son. He can’t stand the thought of Tessa lying in that room all alone. See, I told ya, totally devoted.” She slumps down in a chair, “Man, I wish I could find a man like that. And his muscles. Woozers–”

  My jaw clenches. “The room, please?”

  She looks at me and blinks. “Oh, sorry.” She gives me an apologetic smile. “405. It’s right down the hall.” She points towards the right, and I take off in that directions.

  Croy’s her fucking boyfriend? Man, he wasn’t shittin’ me, was he? I wonder what changed after all this time? You’d think it would have happened sooner. Fuck it, maybe being with me gave her the courage to seek a relationship that was right there in front of her all along. Someone safe.

  The door is open halfway, but the curtain is drawn around the bed. Memories flood my mind of the last time I saw her in a hospital bed. I step inside the room. I don’t have to see her to know she’s here. I can sense her. Taking a deep breath, I pull the curtain back slightly. The noise the curtain makes does nothing to wake her. My heart catches in my throat at the sight of her.

  “Fuck Tessa.” My throat clogs with emotion as tears prick the back of my eyes. I can’t fucking breath. She looks completely different from the last time I saw her. She’s thinner, her face is so gaunt looking.

  I take timid steps towards the bed and sit in the chair directly next to it. The same chair that Croy has occupied. I take her hand in mine and press my lips to her skin. She’s cold, almost too cold. My vision becomes unfocused as the tears burn at the back of my throat. “I sh–should have been there. Why didn’t I fight for you?”

  Keeping her hands in mine, I rub my thumb along the back of her hand as I watch the drops of rain hit the glass of the windows. I take one of my hands and wipe the tears from my face. The constant beating of the heart monitor turns monotonous. I bring her hand back to my lips and brush them against her hand.

  “I have loved you my entire life,” I confess something I hope she’s always known. “Even when you were no longer a part of it, you have always had my heart.”

  My heart. It feels like it’s fucking breaking. My chest actually hurts. “You were the one thing that I was missing all these years. You were one of the first good things in my life. Your smile, it was able to brighten even the darkest of days.” I take a shaky breath and look up at the ceiling.

  Please let there be a God.

  “I would give anything for you to open your eyes and smile at me. You still owe me a song, sweet girl. Remember, that night at your house when the three of us played Life, and I won? You told me I got to pick anything, and I told you I wanted to hear you sing. You need to wake up and get better so you can repay your debt.”

  I need to be closer to her, so I get up from the chair and gently sit on the bed next to her. She doesn’t stir as I press my body against hers. I keep her hand in mine as I take hold of the other. “Tessa, I need you to be all right. I need to know that the world still holds you in it.”

  I focus my gaze on her face, hoping that my voice will bring her back. My throat feels dry, and my chest is heavy. “Come on sweetheart, please. Please come back. Please be all right. Please don’t go. I–I can’t bear knowing that you’re no longer here.” I choke back the tears, but it’s useless. “Sam needs you.” I squeeze her hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise. I’m sorry I didn’t keep you safe. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me. But please, please don’t punish your son. Please don’t let him grow up without a mother. Tessa–” I can’t finish my thought as emotions rack through my body. “I love you, sweet girl. I’ve always loved you. Please…Goddamn it, please.”

  A memory hits me, so I drop her hands and reach towards my back pocket and pull out my wallet. Behind my license is a plastic card holder. In that holder is a single four-leaf clover. Tessa found it when we were about ten. When she gave it to me, I stuck it in the back of one of my baseball cards. The card is long since gone, but I’ve always kept that clover with me.

  I take the plastic in her hand and wrap her fingers around the edges. Hopefully, when she wakes up, because I know she will, she’ll know that I was here. I lift myself from the bed and gently brush my fingers through her hair. I don’t want to leave. I shouldn’t go, but I can’t be here when Croy gets back. I can’t face him knowing that he’s won the woman I love.

  Especially knowing he’s the better option for them both.

  “Fight, sweetheart. Whatever you’re going through, fight.” I place a kiss on her forehead. “I love you.”

  I leave her, and with her, my heart.

  Hawk

  Funerals are never easy. I don’t care how old you are. It’s like you’re coming face to face with the inventible when you’re staring down the dark hole of the resting place of your brother. The reaper is out in full force today, tapping each of us on the shoulder, telling us it’s only a matter of time before we join him in the fires of Hades.

  Bubba left us far too soon.

  But he left us a hero.

  If he hadn’t stepped up, Lick might have lost his family. Jenni and the two kids, Lick’s niece and nephew, could have been victims of a drugged-up POS. Bubba went against Cut’s orders to stay the fuck away until he proved himself to the club. After he betrayed us, betrayed Sin for some fucking blow, there was a good reason why he was told to stay the fuck away from anything Fury. He put his need to get high above the bond of brotherhood, and that wasn’t something that you ever do, but damn if he didn’t gain back the respect of the club, and especially Sin. Savannah and Grace were there that day. The thought of Sin losing those two girls is something none of us can fathom. Actions always speak louder than words, and as soon as Bubba threw his body in front of Jenni and that gun, we knew where his loyalty laid.

  Fury bound, Fury proud.

  Not too far away from Bubba’s final resting spot is my father’s headstone. The stone is worn and weathered. It seems like he’s been gone a lot longer than what he has. My memories of him seem to fade with each passing day, and I have no problem with that. I’m still not sure where I stand when it comes to him and what he did to my mother. I haven’t brought it up to Cut, or any of the other guys.

  “Who the fuck?” Sin’s voice pulls my thought away from my father.

  As soon as I see them, my legs move in their direction. Without hesitation, I wrap my arms around Tessa and kiss her temple. Her arms tighten around me as her body collapses into mine. “How did you know?”

  “Bianca—” her voice breaks. “I’
m sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”

  I run my hand down the silk of her hair and bury my nose in the crook of her neck. I inhale her scent, one that I never thought I’d smell again. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  She gives off a hesitant laugh. “Me either.”

  Tessa Reese is here. She’s in Las Cruces.

  I pull away from her body and watch as she wipes the tears from her eyes. She knew Bubba. She knew him when he was just Keith. When he would walk the halls of our high school flashing all the girls his killer smile. He was larger than life back then. That was all before he took his first solo ride on his bike. Before he wore the patch. Before he fell victim to the drugs. When life was simpler. When we were younger. She knew him.

  Without any words, I bend down and scoop Sam into my arms. He doesn’t hesitate when he wraps his arms around my neck and takes a deep breath. “Are you smelling me, buddy?” He nods his head excited, and it makes me laugh. My chest feels lighter with him in my arms and her next to me. I feel whole. I’m also terrified because I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold onto that feeling.

  “Tessa?” Sin calls out. I glance over my shoulder and see him, Dyke, Brass, and Cut approach us. Behind them, Lick stays rooted in one spot with his back towards us and his phone to his ear.

  “Matthew.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

  “What are you doing here? And who’s this?” He points to Sam.

  Her eyes cut to me and I can see the guilt on her face. “Um…I’ve decided to move back.” I watch her throat bob as she swallows. “And this is my son, Sam.” He turns to my brothers and waves.

  Sin’s lips go tight as his jaw ticks. He turns towards me. “It seems that you’ve been keeping secrets from me, brother.” He stalks off without another word.

  “Just let him be. He’ll get over it,” Cut tells me but continues to look at Tessa. Dyke and Brass take the silence as an opportunity to leave. They each pat Cut on the shoulder as they head towards their bikes, and only moments later I hear to the roar of four bikes, so I know that Lick has gone too.

  “Where’ve you been, Tessa? I didn’t expect to see you around here again,” Cut asks.

  “I’ve been in L.A., and I didn’t expect to ever come back here.”

  “Listen, Cut–”

  “No, Hawk. I’m not listening to you right now. I’m the one talking.” His gaze falls to Sam who’s studying Cut. When he brings his eyes back to Tessa, I see understanding. “I know, what running from demons is like, Tessa.” His gaze between the two of us. “I hope you stick around for a while. Sin will get over whatever stick is up to his ass. I’m sure it has to do with the shit he doesn’t know. It’s up to you to tell him and get him to understand. We didn’t only have one sister, Tessa. Blood or not, you were just as much our sister as she was. When we lost Sienna that day, we lost you too. Sin isn’t always so forgiving but give him time.”

  Tessa wipes another round of tears from her eyes. “Thank you, Cut.” He nods, and turns towards his bike, leaving the three of us alone.

  “Can you show me where Sienna is?”

  I nod and adjust my hold on Sam. “She’s this way.” We walk a few rows back until I find the stone with the angel keeping watch. I’ve never come to Sienna’s grave, not since the funeral.

  Tessa falls to her knees and then places her hands on the grass. Her body shakes as her hands turn to fists against the earth. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry for not being strong enough and for running. But no more, I’m not running anymore.”

  She leans down and places a kiss on the grass then rests her cheek, closing her eyes. After a short time, she lifts herself to her feet and wipes the grass from her hands and clothes. She takes a few steps towards Sam and me, running her hand down his back.

  “Tessa, why are you here?” I ask.

  “I need a favor.”

  Tessa

  I grip the steering wheel as I follow Hawk towards Bianca’s house. Hawk doesn’t know this yet, but Sam and I will be staying with Bianca for the time being. That’s what was decided when I called her yesterday. I didn’t have many other options.

  Almost eight years ago, I woke up in a hospital. My only option was to leave Las Cruses and start a new life. Three days ago, I woke up in a hospital, knowing my only option was to leave Los Angeles and head home.

  Croy sat at my bedside while I slept for three days straight. He called Sarah and Martha and told them what happened. Croy arranged for Sam to be cared for while I lay unconscious in the hospital. It was Croy who told me he would see me through this. He would be by my side the entire way, and he would be there for Sam when I was too weak to do it. But it wasn’t Croy who I saw, it was Hawk, and that’s when I knew I had to face my demons and go back to where everything started…

  My eyes flutter against the harshness of the lights. The feel of a cold cloth glides along my forehead. “Hawk.” My voice is like sandpaper.

  “Tessa?”

  I flinch at the voice because I know it’s not Hawk’s. It’s Croy. Continuing to blink, Croy comes into focus.

  “Did you say something?” He sits back with the washcloth still in his hand.

  “I thought you were Hawk.” I try to clear my throat, so he hands me a cup of water. The liquid helps my throat. “I don’t know why I thought that.” I give him a small smile, but he seems annoyed.

  “No, Tessa, I’ve been here the entire time. Not Hawk, me. I’ve put my life on hold making sure that your son was cared for while his mother lain unconscious in the hospital. Not Hawk, me.”

  “I didn’t know, Croy. I’m sorry.”

  He humbles something about Hawk listening to him under his breath.

  “What did you say?”

  He brings his hardened glare to me. “I said that he listened like a good boy when he came to the club before he left town. I told him that this wasn’t his place. That him being in your life wasn’t good for either you or Sam.” He sits up. “How can he think you would be better back in a town where the father of your son raped you?” His eyes narrow, “Yeah, I’ve known, Tessa. It’s only been obvious. What kind of a man would think you’d be able to live always looking over his shoulder? You know what kind? The selfish kind.”

  The last few weeks play through my mind. All the unanswered texts and phone calls from both Sam and me. Croy’s the reason why Hawk never answered. He’s the reason why my son lost the one man that he felt a connection with.

  “That wasn’t your place, Croy. You have no right to tell him any of those things. I was better off with him here. I was stronger with him here.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about, T.”

  My fingers flinch, and I feel something hard in my hand. Bringing it up, I see a clear plastic with a single clover in the center. My heart sinks as a smile spreads across my face.

  “What the hell is that?” Croy sits forward.

  I drop my hand and ignore his question. “I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me, Croy. I’m sorry if I ever took advantage of your generosity. I haven’t had a lot of practice when it comes to friendships, and that’s my problem. But Sam and I won’t be needing your help anymore. I can’t keep doing this to you. I see I’ve been in the wrong for so long, and it’s time to make it right.”

  “What the hell are you talking about, Tessa?”

  “Croy, I’m going back to New Mexico, I’m going home.”

  The street hasn’t really changed in all these years. Bianca’s house looks the same. The clubhouse still sits to the right of her property. There’s a building at the far-right end that I assume is where Fury now builds bikes. From how Hawk described it, anyway. Bianca’s driveway has been widened, probably to house all the bikes. Hawk pulls up next to the others as I pull over in the street.

  “Where are we?” Sam asks. He’s been full of questions since we left Los Angeles. He knows his life is changing, he just doesn’t know how drastic.r />
  “We’re at my friend’s house. Remember I told you her name is Bianca?”

  I look in the rearview mirror as he unlatches the seatbelt and slides out of his booster seat. The passenger side door opens, and Hawk leans down smacking his hands together signaling for Sam to come to him.

  I slam my door close and jump at the noise. I’m a nervous wreck. I’m starting to second guess my decision. When I make my way around the car, Hawk raises his arm, and I settle up next to him as he wraps it around my shoulder. With Sam on his hip and me at his side, I’m sure we look like the perfect family, but I know we’re anything but.

  “You don’t need to worry, Tessa. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you.” He drops a kiss to the top of my head and starts to walk forward, giving me no choice but to move as well.

  As soon as we both step foot on the porch, he gives my shoulder a squeeze. Without knocking he opens the front door and ushers me in first. I can feel his body right behind mine, but that doesn’t do anything to calm my racing heart as everyone in the living room stops talking and turns their head towards me. I recognize almost everyone.

  The movement towards my right has me turning my head as Bianca comes towards me. Tears fall from her eyes as her lip quivers. “Mija, ah mija. Por fin vuelto a casa. Oh, cómo te extrañé.” You’ve finally come home. Oh, how I’ve missed you.

  “Hi, Bianca.”

  Another sob breaks from her chest as she pulls me towards her small frame. “Tessa. Mi Tessa.”

  “Mom,” Cut calls out, “Give her a chance to come in. You’re smothering her.”

  She pulls away and turns towards Cut. “I’m smothering her? Lo Siento, hijo. It’s not every day one of her children finally comes home.”

  A scrape of a chair makes me jump as Sin stands and heads out towards the backyard, slamming the wooden screen behind him. Hawk places a hand on my shoulder, letting me know that he’s there.