The Institute

by Kayla Howarth

  ***

  Startling awake, I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep, but it can’t have been very long. The sun is rising, turning the sky a pinkish red outside my window, before gradually getting lighter with every minute that passes. It was probably two hours sleep at most. I don’t want to face today, but I can’t seem to forget about it long enough to drift off properly. Frustrated and feeling helpless, I throw the blankets off me to get up and make breakfast. At least I’ll be doing something productive then.

  Drew’s asleep on the couch when I walk into the living room. How is he finding it so easy to sleep? I’m absolutely drained.

  Dad is already in the kitchen, and we work in silence, cooking eggs on the hot plate. I don’t know what to say to him. Are we sure going with Drew is the best thing for Shilah? Should I really be staying or should I run, too? I know how Dad feels on the subject, so talking to him about my worries will be pointless. I wish I could talk to Aunt Kenna, but the less people who know about this, the better, and I don’t want to put her at risk.

  “We have a lot to get done today.” Drew’s voice comes from behind us.

  I don’t turn around to look at him. My feelings for him right now are confusing and inconsistent. One minute I see him as the boy sitting with me on the porch step consoling me after a tragic accident, the boy who makes me nervous in the good kind of way, who gives me butterflies just by looking at me. Then I think about the situation we’re in, how we got here, and all of the lies. Not just from him, but from my side, too.

  Is that what all of my relationships will be like?

  Having a Defective brother means I don’t get to be normal. Ever. Even if he’s leaving me, he’ll always be part of my life.

  I thought I was falling for Drew, but how could that be when it’s only been three weeks?

  There was this instantaneous pull towards him—ever since he helped me to my feet when I fell at the train station months ago. Perhaps my insta-obsession has everything to do with the fact I’ve been pining for him since that day, and nothing to do with him. We still don’t know each other. Not really.

  I’m not exactly the expert on love, and I haven’t grown up with the best examples. I don’t remember seeing Mum and Dad as a couple. I know they were at one point, but she died before I had many memories imprinted in my mind. My aunt never married so I’ve never been around coupled adults. How can I be in a relationship when I don’t even know what a proper relationship is?

  Maybe Dad is right. It is stupid to start something—with anyone, not just Drew.

  “I don’t want to leave you here if you don’t think you can handle what’s coming,” Drew says.

  “What do you mean?”

  “They’re going to come and ask you a lot of questions as to where your brother is. You and your father need to be prepared for when they do. If they find out you know your brother’s Defective and that he’s run off, your dad, and possibly you, could be thrown in jail … or worse.”

  I hadn’t even thought of that part. I’m going to have to lie, and I’m going to have to be convincing. I’m not good at lying. I’m good at changing the subject, at removing myself from awkward conversations, at keeping secrets. If I try any of my eluding tactics on the authorities, they’ll surely know I’m hiding something. I won’t be able to stall them forever.

  “Don’t worry, Allira, by the end of today, you’ll be an excellent liar,” Drew says.

  Glaring at him, I begin to wonder if he really can hear everything I’m thinking. Two days ago, I was impressed by how perceptive he was, now I just want him to stay out of my head.

  I half-wish he never told me; this is going to get annoying real quick. It took me a while to get used to Shilah knowing what was going to happen before it happened, but that never really affected me. I hate that I now have to censor my thoughts, when it’s hard enough censoring what I say aloud.

  “Okay, so first thing you’re going to have to learn to do is how to show no emotion.” Drew takes a seat at the dining table as he starts to teach us how to be good liars. He should know; he has done plenty of it. Low blow, hypocrite. “Allira, you show too much emotion in your face. Even if I wasn’t an Empath, I’d be able to tell you’re stressed.” He gets up from his chair, walks over to me, and puts his hands on my shoulders. “You need to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and clear your mind. Don’t think about anything.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then another one, but it’s not working. I can’t shut my brain off. There’s just too much going on.

  “Okay, how about you try focussing on one thing and only that thing.”

  I think back to the first few visits to the Institute, being dragged around from room to room and listening to the staff talk about how the Institute is the best facility, the best place for the Defective, blah, blah, blah. I’d recite my favourite book in my head to keep me entertained.

  I’m still trying to focus on remembering the book, when Shilah joins us. “Umm, why exactly are you teaching my sister to be just like you?” he asks, clearly still angry that he’s leaving.

  “To cover your ass, kiddo,” Drew answers him.

  “And yours, Drew,” I intervene before Shilah gets mad at the condescending “kiddo” comment.

  “If we’re going to live together, you really have to cut out that ‘kiddo’ and ‘sport’ stuff with me,” Shilah snaps.

  “Easy, tiger,” Drew says with a grin. “Okay, I’m done, I promise.”

  I wonder how long Drew will hold that promise.

  Dad walks over with the fry pan, dishing out the eggs onto plates. “I thought you were showing us how to avoid getting arrested, not how to make jokes.” It’s the first time he’s spoken all morning.

  You can tell he’s not happy about leaving all of our fates in the hands of Drew. I think he feels backed into a corner with no other option of getting out. There is another option, but that involves turning his son over to the Institute, where we’ll never see him again. That, to me, is not an option.

  Drew fires questions at me and Dad all day, and we practice answering them over and over again until we get the answers perfectly memorised without sounding fake, and I feel like when they come, I’ll know exactly what to say.

  We’ve debated asking about the blood test. If I bring it up, will they suspect me? If I don’t, will they think I should be more curious than I am? Shilah’s had his ability for so long, we’re not sure of how “normal” families think when it comes to finding out these things. Drew ultimately decides to go with a vague approach, complete and utter denial is how we need to play it.

  As long as both of us can stay focussed and keep calm, there should be no reason for them to suspect us, only Shilah. Dad will call the authorities later that night stating Shilah has not come home and we don’t know where he is. It’s not much of a plan, but it’s all we’ve got.