UnWanted

by Piper, M.

  I chuckle. “Okay Casanova. Take a shower.”

  He shuffles to the bathroom slowly and closes the door behind him. He always acts so tough and sure of himself, and seeing him knocked this far down is really sad. I feel horrible for him and at this point in the game I’d love to take it away for him and bear the sickness myself.

  What’s that say about what I feel for the guy, huh?

  Fuck. What does that say?

  I’m not a bitch, but I’ve never wished sickness upon myself in the past. But now I honestly would rather have whatever this is than Nico having it. This shit’s confusing. Relationships are confusing. And there’s only one person I know that might have an answer for me.

  So I text Lincoln while the soup heats up.

  Reag: What’s it mean when I wish I were sick instead of Nico?

  Lincoln replies almost immediately.

  Linc: You’re in love, sis.

  I narrow my eyes at my phone.

  Reag: I don’t even know the first thing about loving someone. How would that constitute as love?

  Linc: You’d rather be sick so they could feel healthy again? If that’s not love I’m not sure what is. And I’m the expert on love and relationships.

  I laugh loud and Gabe walks into the room.

  “What’re you laughing at?” he asks, picking up a cracker I set out for Nico and popping it into his mouth. I narrow my eyes at him but instead of punching him in the throat, I smile sweetly and hope he gets my sarcasm.

  “Nothing,” I say, shrugging and turning to stare at the microwave. I’d rather look at these cancer rays then converse with this kid.

  “Hey, so he’s really sick,” he says it sounding surprised and I spin to glare at him.

  “How the hell do you live with someone, your own flesh and blood, and not even know they’re sick. He’s been like this for a day now. You didn’t think to check on him not coming out of his room?

  “I didn’t think it was a big deal. I thought he had a chick in the—“

  “We’re fucking dating! He wouldn’t cheat on me!”

  “He’s never had a serious girlfriend before, okay? God, you’re intense.” He grumbles, walking away. But I’m not done, so I follow him.

  “Just because he’s never had a serious one before doesn’t mean he can’t be serious now,” I say, following him into the living room.

  “I’m just not used to him being all love struck, okay?”

  “Love…love struck?” I blink at his choice of words, my hands crossing in front of me.

  “Yes. Struck by love. Love struck.” He falls on to the chair and grabs the remote.

  “Love?” I whisper, more to myself out of astonishment.

  “He hasn’t told you yet?” He looks up at me with confusion in his face. “Reagan, that man’s loved you since the first time he set eyes on you. He didn’t know it back then but I sure did. I’m surprised he hasn’t said it yet.” He chuckles. “Of course he’d fall in love with the one girl who moved away from him the minute the feelings started to catch.”

  I growl and walk back to the kitchen to try to calm my wildly beating heart.

  Love. Love wasn’t ever in my vocabulary when it came to relationships. Sure, everyone wants to be loved, but could it be true? Could Nico and I really be in love?

  He comes into the kitchen five minutes later in his dark grey sweatpants and no shirt and I can’t help but check him out as I hand him his tea. He’s definitely got the perfect olive skin tone and dark hair that makes those sweatpants look sexy as hell. Add to it the abs and that V…holy shit that V.

  “Thank you,” he whispers, taking the mug of tea from me and drinking it down. “My god that’s amazing,” he says. “Is that honey in there?”

  “I found some in your pantry I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all. Make yourself at home.” He takes another drink.

  “How was your shower?” I ask, grabbing my mug I made for myself.

  “Felt amazing but I’m pretty weak right now. Drained me.” He rolls his neck and sighs. “God, I hate being sick.”

  “Well that’s why I’m here to take care of you, silly. So the soup’s ready. I’ll bring it into the living room. Go get comfy.”

  He smiles at me and looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t, then turns and heads into the living room. When he’s out of sight, I grab my phone and shoot my brother a text.

  Reag: Hey expert. What happens when you moved away from the only person you’ve ever been in love with?

  I hit send on the text and head to the living room where we spend the rest of the evening watching pointless TV shows and movies, laughing together and getting to know each other a little more. It’s nice. My phone dings and without thinking, I open the text right next to Nico as I’m snuggled in next to him.

  Linc: Hard decision there, little sis. You’re not allowed to leave Springfield again so… Good luck with that.

  “What’s he talking about?” Nico asks, reading the text before I can put the phone down.

  “Nothing. He’s just mad I left work today,” I lie, sliding the phone under my leg.

  “You should get back,” Nico says sadly.

  “No can do. I’m here until you’re better.”

  He grins at me. “What if I never get better?”

  I chuckle.

  “Then I’ll have to look into euthanasia, I guess, because my brothers won’t let me be gone forever.” I shrug and his brother barks out a laugh.

  “Fine, Nic, you can keep this one. But only because she can casually smartass better than you can.”

  “I’m sick,” he grumbles, working on his soup.

  I watch him with a smile on my face. He’s got a man cold, and as much as I’ve always heard dreaded things about the man cold… I’m not able to say I feel the same way. This is fun. This is nice.

  This is…love.

  Holy fuck this is love.

  “Hey can I talk to you for a second?” Wren asks, walking into the shop.

  “Sure. I’ve got a video conference with a potential seller in a few moments but you’ve got my full attention now.” I smile at her and before I know what she’s doing, she holds her camera up and snaps a picture. “What the hell?” I rub my eyes, the flash blinding me. “Wren, what was that for?”

  “A secret. But you should be excited!” she squeals and runs out of the building.

  I narrow my eyes at her but before I can respond my phone rings from the office. I grin and head to the door, flipping the sign to closed before locking it.

  “Coming,” I yell after answering it on my phone. I head to the laptop to open it and see Nico’s smiling face looking back at me.

  “Beautiful as ever, Ten,” he says, grinning madly.

  “How’s the patient?” I ask, shutting the blinds to my office and getting a rush of excitement.

  “I’ve been better for over a week, Ten. I’m just happy you didn’t catch it.”

  “I told you, I’m like wonder woman.”

  “You’re way hotter than Wonder Woman,” he says, chuckling.

  “That’s so mean to her!” I gasp, laughing. “I’d tap her if I had a penis.”

  “Well,” he laughs loud. “I’m sure as fuck glad you don’t have a penis.”

  I laugh and smile at him, relaxing back in my chair but feeling less worried about this. We’ve never done this before. And our timing only worked out together to video chat in the middle of the day.

  And it’s been almost a month since I’ve last had sex.

  So…

  “Are you alone?” I whisper for no reason. He wouldn’t do this with a fucking crowd. Fuck, Reagan.

  “I am. Are you?”

  “All locked tight.” I bite my lip. “Where are you?”

  “My car,” he says, laughing. “I’m in a parking garage and there’s literally no one else around. But I didn’t have time to go home and I wasn’t about to miss this.”

  “Have you ever done this befo
re?” I ask, my hands trembling with nerves.

  “No.” He laughs. “I mean, I’ve sent pics and shit. But I’ve never video called like this.”

  “Are you touching yourself?” I whisper, sliding my hand down the front of my pants. I even wore leggings today to help with the ease of access.

  “I am, you wanna see?”

  “I do,” I whisper, gasping when my hand hits my clit. I hear him sigh and he lowers the camera and a ping of need shoots straight between my legs. He’s got his dick hard and he’s stroking it already, his breathing heavy.

  “Doesn’t take much to get hard for you, Ten.” His hand fists his dick and I slip two fingers inside me. “Show me how wet your pussy is,” he whispers, a shrill of excitement rolling through me.

  I grin and stand up from my chair and he groans.

  “Pants still?” he whines.

  “I’m in my office,” I laugh.

  “And I’m in a car in public with my dick out. Take your fucking pants off, Ten,” he huffs. I grin and shove my leggings down, panties and all, and lift my leg, resting a foot on my desk.

  “Like this?” I whisper, running my fingers down my opening. “So wet, Nico,” I murmur.

  “Fuck, Ten,” he groans. “Shove a finger inside yourself.” His fist starts to speed up slightly and I do as I’m asked, the camera angle catching everything, even the slight glisten to my pussy.

  “God,” I pant, sliding another finger in and getting lost in the sensation. My palm pushes against my clit and my hips rock forward to find the friction I need.

  “That’s so fucking hot,” Nico mumbles. I glance at the screen and his hand’s a blur, making me giggle. “What?”

  “Nothing,” I say, stifling my laugh and fucking my pussy with my fingers again, curling them as best as I can to hit my g-spot.

  “What’re you laughing at, Ten?” he growls.

  “Your hand’s a blur on the screen!” I laugh, but as soon as I do I start to feel the tingle of my orgasm starting in my toes and end my laugh in a moan. “Holy fuck,” I pant.

  “I wish this was you on my dick, Ten,” he groans, the camera shifting a bit. “Fuck,” he huffs. “I’m close, babe.”

  “God, me too,” I pant, grinding into my hand. My eyes squeeze closed, then fly open when I hear him huffing and I watch his hand milk his dick just like I wish I could be doing right now. My toes start to tingle and my stomach tightens and as soon as it starts it peaks. “Oh my God, I’m coming!” I scream as my orgasm explodes through me, making my knees buckle and I fall back down onto my chair, trying to catch my breath. Everything’s spinning, my pussy feels amazing, and my toes and fingers are numb.

  I watch the screen as Nico comes, his growl loud through the speakers and his come spurts all over his stomach. I bite my lip, wishing I were there to help him clean it up. Swallow it down.

  But I’m not. And as good as that was, I still prefer the real thing.

  “Holy fuck, Ten,” he pants, the phone moving back up his abs and focusing on his face. “You look beautiful,” he whispers, his eyebrows pulling together. “I miss the fuck out of you.”

  “I know,” I whisper. “It’s kind of insane.”

  “When do I get to see you next?” he asks.

  “Soon,” I say. “I promise.”

  “Are we insane for trying to make this work, Ten?”

  All I can do is shake my head, because the longer we go without seeing each other the more I think yes.

  We are crazy for thinking this will work.

  “What’s your favorite color?” she asks me on one of our many late night phone calls we’ve been having lately. Time apart sucks, but we’re making it work.

  “Green. Like your eyes,” I say, grinning stupidly and tossing my shirt in the hamper.

  “Cute,” she hums. “Mine’s black.”

  “Black’s not a color. Try again, Sherlock.”

  “Hey, I can like black if I want.” Her attitude makes me smile.

  God, I miss her.

  “That’s very gothic of you,” I say, making her laugh and it’s music to my fucking ears. Work’s been stressful this week. I feel like I was thrown into the lion’s den without much prep, and while I’m doing well, it’s probably adding to my grey hairs.

  “I’ll have you know, I went through a gothic stage for a couple weeks in high school.”

  I bark out a laugh. “Please tell me there are pictures.”

  “I’ll never tell,” she says, laughing. “Ok, ok. I got another one.” She hums while she’s thinking and I smile to myself as I lie in bed.

  It’s been almost a month since we last saw each other. I’ve been insanely busy and she’s tried coming up here a few times but my schedule at work won’t let up. I’ve been traveling nonstop and even tonight is spent preparing for another trip out of town tomorrow. It’s almost the holidays, though, and I really hope things let up a bit so I can see her more.

  “Ok, what’s your favorite childhood smell?”

  “What?” I ask, laughing. “A childhood smell?”

  “Yeah! Like crayons. Plastic. Doll hair?” she says.

  “Uh…” I chuckle. “Is pot an acceptable answer?”

  “Pot’s not a childhood smell!” she shrieks.

  “It was a pretty typical one for our household,” I say.

  “Well that’s depressing. God, way to make this game suck.”

  “Hey, you brought it up!” I laugh. “Ok, what about… Pancakes. My grandma always made us pancakes on the nights we ended up there. They’re my favorite.”

  “You never told me pancakes were your favorite,” she says. “I can make you some. I make pretty mean pancakes.”

  “You do, huh?” I stretch in bed and pull the blanket over me. “Why do I have a hard time believing that?”

  “Fuck you, funny guy. I make badass pancakes. And bacon, I’ll have you know. Next morning together you’re getting them. And you’re going to love them.”

  “Sure, okay. I surrender.” I take a deep breath. “I leave at eight am,” I whisper. “Again.”

  “Where to, now?” her tone’s changed almost immediately since I brought up my job.

  “Wisconsin,” I say, rolling my eyes then chuckle to myself because before Reagan I never did that shit.

  “When’s your next weekend off?”

  “I think in two weeks,” I groan. “Fuck, Ten. This job is killing me.”

  “You could always move here. We’d have a job for you here,” she blurts and I let the line fall silent.

  “Reagan,” I whisper.

  “Nevermind. I’m sorry, I just… I wasn’t thinking,” she stammers and I sigh.

  “I’ve got to get to bed, Ten.”

  “Yeah. Goodnight, Nico. Safe travels tomorrow.” She mumbles, ending the call immediately.

  Fuck.

  I want to tell her how I feel. I want to tell her I love her. That I’ve loved her this whole time. I want to say ‘fuck yes, I’ll leave my job and move to your city for you,’ but without knowing how she really feels I’m not putting my life on the line like that.

  I click the light off and it feels like ten minutes pass when my alarm’s going off. I groan, stretch, and head for a quick shower before moving my ass to the airport.

  On the way, my phone rings.

  “Yeah,” I grumble from the backseat of the cab.

  “All flights are cancelled to Madison, Nico,” my boss blurts and I furrow my brows.

  “I’m not driving,” I say.

  “I know,” he laughs. “I’ll re schedule this trip. It’ll be fine, it wasn’t that pressing anyway. You’ve been rocking it lately, we’re doing good this quarter.”

  “Thanks,” I mutter. “So what am I supposed to do the rest of the week?”

  “Take a break?” he says, laughing. “Monday morning you fly out again, but take a long weekend. A few days to re-juice yourself. You’ve been burning at both ends lately, Nico.”

  “You don’t have to twist my arm,
” I say, a smile creeping up on my face.

  “Oh hey, I almost forgot. All the paperwork’s been signed. We’re officially opening a Springfield branch.”

  “Springfield, Illinois?” I eagerly interrupt him.

  “Yep. Isn’t your girlfriend there?”

  “She is,” I say, nodding. “When’s it open?”

  “Not sure yet. I’ll keep you updated.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “Have fun this long weekend. Don’t do anything stupid and don’t miss your flight Monday.”

  “Got it, boss.” I end the call and stare out the window after telling the driver to take me back home. I’m trying not to focus on the fact that a move to Springfield and keeping my job might actually be in the cards. I try to focus on the now. The present. Reagan’s been slowing down on the texting lately and I’m starting to worry she’s pulling away. I know it’s been a long ass time since I’ve been down to see her and even longer since she’s been up here. I miss her, and we’ve been trying to video chat more. We went as far the other night to facetime date, each of us watching the same movie and eating popcorn together…but it wasn’t as good as the real thing.

  And finally, I have an entire four days with no work. And I know exactly what I’m going to do.

  “Luigi!” Ford yells as I get out of my car at the West House. I had to call Ford to get correct directions and he’s had strict instructions not to tell Reagan I’m coming. I’ve only driven past here once and I can honestly say it’s a little intimidating. Knowing she owns part of this. Knowing it’s her family’s legacy. Fuck if my family ever had any legacies this big. This is amazing. The large plantation style house, huge wrap around porch and all the other buildings on the property are stunning. I’m anxious to see the inside.

  “Hey, Ford,” I say, walking up to him on the porch.

  “I have something for you!” He runs inside a set of glass doors and I check my phone.

  Ten has no clue I’m here right now and I can’t wait to surprise her.

  Ford comes running outside with a wide smile on his face, trying not to laugh.

  “Here,” he says shoving a box at me.