Die By the Drop: Shivers and Sins Volume 1

by Kaia Bennett

  I stood limp, eyes closed, and let him wash me, let him move me and control me, as he’d done the night before. Arms lifted, legs spread, a soapy cloth rubbed my bruised skin clean.

  I can’t believe I’m still—

  I didn’t want to say the words, even in my mind, but I knew the truth. I still wanted him. Worse, my craving matched his desire for me.

  I didn’t have a choice. I still don’t have a choice.

  The girl spit on the cage floor, disbelieving. My mewl of pleasure as Jesse cupped my dewy sex didn’t help my cause.

  You did it because you’re a whore. Whore! Blood whore, lapping up whatever they feed you. You should’ve died in that cave.

  “Just you this time, or are you gonna throw me back to your wolves?” I hissed when he slid a finger into my abused channel.

  Jesse laughed. “Mixing your species, witch? Wolves are puppies compared to us. And I didn’t throw you anywhere you didn’t want to go. Lost track of how many times you screamed for us.”

  I swallowed a thick lump of fear. The idea of ravenous wolves lurking in the dark alongside vampires cooled my arousal. What kind of nightmare had I stepped into?

  “I knew from the first time,” Jesse continued. “I knew as soon as we got enough blood in you, you’d never stop coming.”

  I took a gamble and turned into his arms, grabbing the soap and cloth.

  “That wasn’t me.” I scowled. “That was you. Your blood. Your everything.”

  I went to work on his shoulders. I glanced up at him, took in the contented smile on his sculpted lips. Then lifted onto my toes so I could kiss him.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Accepting my fate,” I whispered. “You’re right about everything. You’re the best. No one fucks me better.”

  To his credit, he didn’t buy my change of heart. He chuckled and shook his head.

  “Fucking empaths. Everything out of your mouth is a lie someone else wants to hear. Ain’t that right, witch?”

  My smile grew and I slid my hand down his taut abdominals, cupping his hardening cock in my soapy hand.

  “Sure. You’re always right, Jesse. Everything out of my mouth is a lie, and yet—”

  He moaned then grasped my face in his hands, driving his tongue into my mouth.

  “You know better,” I said when he came up for air. “You know what I felt. What I wanted. What I needed.”

  He lifted me and drove his cock into me without delay. I drew in a sharp breath at the fullness, thrilling to the slapping sounds of Jesse’s hips against mine echoing in the shower. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist.

  “You’re the best, Jesse.” I moaned like a whore, like a dream he’d never want to wake up from while I plotted how to become his nightmare. “No one fucks me… oh God… no one fucks me better….”

  The mall? For real?

  I wiped my mouth with a napkin, the breakfast sandwich giving me energy I sorely needed.

  “What are we doing here?” I glanced at Jesse while he put the SUV in park. He turned to watch me shove the last bite into my mouth and moan at the taste.

  “Pathetic.” He looked mildly disgusted, mildly curious. “I’ll never understand your penchant for eating dead things. It’s what makes you witches so weak. You’re too much like humans.”

  I ran my tongue over my teeth and tossed the wrapper into the brown paper bag.

  “Weren’t you human once? Didn’t you used to eat food like the rest of us?” Jesse gazed into my eyes for a long moment, as if he were about to say something. Then he turned to look out the windshield.

  “We’re getting you supplies, witch. Some clothes and a bag to carry them in.”

  I stared like he’d just proposed marriage. He waved me off. “Don’t get any ideas. Your tits and ass are great, but not that great. Not every runaway and hooker is gonna wear your size.”

  I felt a sharp pang of guilt twist in my gut. His flippant dismissal of life made my breakfast curdle, but I did my best to shake off his words.

  I licked the last crumbs of breakfast off my lips and downed my water.

  “How Pretty Woman of you. Will I need a cocktail dress, Jesse?”

  “Get out of the fucking car, Evie, before I change my mind.”

  I did as he said. Out in the crisp morning air, I tugged his borrowed gray cotton T-shirt down my thighs. Jesse had pilfered a belt from Vaughn, the thinnest of the trio. A cinched shirt and a dead girl’s leather jacket were all that stood between me and the elements. The clothes more than covered me, even looked intentionally cool. I still felt conspicuous, exposed, as if everyone I passed could see what I’d done the night before.

  Jesse hadn’t been wrong. Every word out of my mouth had become a lie couched in one truth. I hadn’t chosen this fate, but I did accept my lot. For now. The second I had a choice I would find my way out of the clutches of this monster. God willing, if I was lucky, I’d kill them for what they’d done to me. I fantasized about striking a death blow for every helpless person unlucky enough to cross their path.

  Jesse threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me close when I rounded the front of the SUV. He didn’t bother to reiterate his threats. I didn’t bother to pretend I’d give him cause to worry. We settled into the pleasant fiction that we were humans, a couple even, going shopping in the late morning hours. To do otherwise would spell death for me or anyone who noticed otherwise.

  I felt the same sharp anxiety I had outside of the convenience store. Bodies surrounding me, eyes glancing over me or past me. The need to be seen, the fear of being seen. The flush under my skin and the tears stinging my eyes. In a strange way, I could pretend no one else existed when the vampires had me in seclusion. Human beings caught up in their normal lives reminded me a whole world existed, a world with people who loved me and were looking for me.

  They’d be so ashamed of me if they knew what I’ve been doing while they worried. They’d be disgusted.

  The beast clenched her teeth and wrenched the bars further apart. For all the girl’s talk of how disgusting I’d become, only one voice in my head had made any progress getting me through this ordeal.

  No time for shame now. Watch. Wait. Your moment is approaching.

  I turned away from people, the ones staring at Jesse like a tall glass of water, as well as those staring at me with curiosity. I stared up at the shop signs. Clothes. Lingerie. Shoes. A sign for flu vaccinations. The food court thick with the scents of competing cuisines.

  “Don’t get any ideas about a shopping spree. We’ve got plenty of cash but you have to carry whatever you buy.”

  I snorted. Like I gave a fuck about buying a new wardrobe.

  “I need underwear.”

  Jesse shook his head. “No, you don’t. I like you better without it.” He crept a hand under the collar of my shirt. I spun away and into the store.

  “You do now, but when I get my period and bleed all over the place, you’ll change your mind.”

  He growled, the sound vibrating against my back when he pulled me close. For the first time, I dreaded my period for reasons other than cramps and messy tampon changes.

  “Fine, witch. If it makes you feel better to get things I’ll just tear off later. Maybe I'll shove them in your mouth when I fuck you next time.”

  Part of me felt sick. The other sank into his embrace, conflicting thoughts of ‘later’ distracting me as I sifted through shelves and bins. I got a couple pairs of bras and panties in my size, choosing dark colors. But Jesse made me get a pair in lacy white with iridescent piping. When his fingers brushed the fabric against my hand, I saw the golden brown glow through his eyes, and saw glimpses of his imagination, running wild.

  He’d relish blood soaking the white, the glow of my skin against the brightness. He’d relish shoving the panties in my mouth to muffle my screams while he hurt me.

  Onward for clothes, we walked. In my former life, I’d have chosen plainer things
with an accent here or there. Jeans, T-shirts and dresses.

  Jesse didn’t want cute. He wanted skin, access, and dark colors to hide the stains of dark deeds. Only the white lingerie hinted at something beyond utilitarian blood lust.

  “So, you want me to freeze to death?” I held up the short skirt and midriff-baring knit top.

  “Haven’t you noticed you don’t get as cold as you used to?” he asked. Then, “Get some tights or something to go on underneath.”

  “Can I help you guys with anything?” A sweet salesgirl, taller than me, but still only reaching Jesse’s neck, strode up. Kohl-rimmed green eyes took in Jesse and me, and she smiled, the glint of her lip ring rivaled only by the brightness of her teeth. We were a couple, idly shopping for clothes on a cold and lazy day. I felt a twinge of bitterness looking at her, daydreaming about how safe her world must be.

  “What do you have in mind for my girl… Connie?” He looked up from her cleavage—I was sure him noticing her name tag had been incidental—and into her rapt gaze.

  Connie turned her attention to me and gave me an even bigger smile. “Depends what you like, but we’ll find you some cool stuff.”

  I gave her a sweet smile of my own. She had the most expressive eyes I’d ever seen. She’d tied her brown hair up into a messy bun, but her floral dress and boots reminded me so much of the first dead girl.

  Connie rifled through the shelves while I followed her and Jesse followed me. He watched for any hint of dissension or desperation until I had an armful of clothes and a changing room to try them on.

  I would look like a good girl gone bad. Short dresses, shorter skirts, underwear for decoration, and jeans torn all to hell. Shit I’d have never pulled off in real life.

  I felt like a toy, a living blow-up fantasy doll. When I picked up a pair of leather shorts, I closed my eyes, sighed heavily, then pulled off my T-shirt masquerading as a dress. I made a point not to look at my reflection or meet my own gaze. Not that I’d have seen any trace of the previous night. My wounds—the external ones—had healed. The bite marks were gone and my lips were no longer swollen.

  “So, you guys new in town, or just passing through?” Connie asked Jesse while I slid a short tartan dress over my hips, leaving the coverall clasps to dangle. I stopped rolling my eyes at my naughty school girl get-up. I appeared terrified when I glanced at my reflection as I listened for Jesse’s reply.

  “Why?” I could hear the seductive smile in his voice. “What did you have in mind?”

  Connie rattled off a list of bars and hotspots. “I could show you two around, if you’re down.”

  “I bet you could show us a lot of beautiful things, Connie.” Jesse’s voice dropped an octave, and I’d swear, he cast a spell on the poor girl. I knew Jesse as a living, breathing nightmare, and yet, if I’d had on panties, they’d have begun their journey to uselessness right then. Connie didn’t stand a chance.

  “Hey, baby!” My voice sounded shrill and shaken to my own ears. “Can you come here for a second?”

  I heard his whisper that he’d be right back, thanks to the vampire blood still circulating through me. I unlocked the door and quickly pulled on a black, short sleeve crop top, just as Jesse let himself in.

  A lascivious smile spread his full lips as he stared.

  “Naughty school girl. It suits you.”

  I sneered and turned away. “Wouldn’t want my patron to be displeased.”

  “Or for your patron to drain that cute girl out there dry.” He pulled my hips to his crotch and rubbed the semi-hard tool against my ass. “She wants us both. You can smell it, if you focus.”

  I could, and realized I’d picked up on her arousal from the second the salesgirl approached.

  “You ever fuck a girl, witch?”

  “I don’t want her.”

  Am I lying? Jesse wanted her. I felt his wants as acutely as my own. Did I want her, too?

  “You don’t want her to die,” Jesse corrected. In the mirror, I watched Jesse tug my hair, forcing my chin into the air before leaning over to bite my bottom lip. He broke the skin, just a taste to let me know who I belonged to.

  You’ll fuck her all night if I order you to.

  “Maybe I don’t want to share.” I answered his phantom words with real ones.

  Jesse searched my eyes for the truth within the lie. I didn’t like what he saw. I didn’t like the softness in his smile just before his lips broke into a cocky grin.

  “Not up to you where I stick my dick. And, nice try with the jealous act. It’s almost cute. Very human. Hurry up.”

  The truth lingered in the space when he sauntered out. Connie went to help another customer while Jesse circulated around the store.

  In the mirror, I fluffed out my curls, but still didn’t meet my own gaze. I couldn’t. I doubt I’d have recognized the girl staring back at me. I ran my fingers over the curve of my lips and my eyes fluttered closed.

  I tried on the rest of my clothes in haste then and took a week’s worth of clothes to the register with me. Connie gave Jesse her number and me a wink as we left the store. Panic seized me until Jesse tossed her number into the trash.

  In the next store my relief reached a fever pitch. I got a black backpack to shove my shit in, from toiletries to clothes. If I could find a weapon or a phone I’d have a place to hide them. Even pen and paper would be a blessing.

  Back out into the sunlight, the sky bleached blue from cold, we walked. I still wore my makeshift outfit. Once in the car, I stuffed my new duds into the backpack.

  We hit the road again. I stole a glance out of the corner of my eye.

  It’s working, the beast whispered. I nodded as if she were real and had spoken aloud.

  Whatever spell I have over him is finally taking root.

  15

  I stared up in disbelief at the muted broadcast in the nearly deserted diner. The ticker ran across the bottom of the screen while the reporter talked about multiple homicides at Ruby Falls.

  Mass murder or suicide pact?

  I looked down to meet Jesse’s eyes. He’d known from the moment he met Kelsey that he could take her to the falls and kill her and her friends without repercussions. Even out in the open, they were cast in shadow, free to murder at will and someone else would clean up the mess.

  “Close your mouth and chew your food. We gotta head back soon.”

  In front of him sat an untouched cup of coffee and a paper he’d snatched deftly from under an old man’s arm on the way inside.

  The murders at Ruby Falls were on the page he’d been reading.

  “When’s the last time you ate food like this?”

  He didn’t answer, but turned his attention to the truck drivers sitting at the counter, looking mildly disgusted at their food and drink.

  I didn’t want to go back to the motel. I’d taken to stalling, and the broadcast skimming over the investigation of the tragic murders only served as a reminder of why I didn’t want to go back.

  “Hurry. Up.”

  I lowered my gaze and blinked back tears as I pushed my eggs around on my plate.

  “Why? So you can pass me around again? In such a hurry to share your toy with your lessers?”

  I could’ve said friends, or companions, but I took a chance on the seed planted by him the night before.

  No one fucks you better.

  He cracked his fingers and rolled them into a fist.

  “Do you even want to share me? Or do you have to, in order to keep them in line?”

  The stare he pinned me with made my blood run cold.

  “What else are you good for, witch?”

  I lifted my chin, though inside, I wilted. “You’re too smart to play dumb. If that’s all you wanted, I wouldn’t have survived this long.”

  I pushed my plate to him. He caught the edge easily. High on anger and supernatural blood I bought my own hype.

  “Take a bite.”

  I had a craving for breakfast food. Pancakes with melted butter a
nd maple syrup sat beside sausage links and scrambled eggs. The juxtaposition between my human diet and the blood I’d consumed made me ill, but I steadied myself for my next task.

  I reached over and cut a slice of pancake for him, held the fork aloft, and waited for him to take the bait.

  He opened his mouth and plucked the bite off the tines.

  I closed my eyes after I set down the fork, took his hand in mine, and showed him a trick I’d learned as a kid to help my brother eat the oatmeal he despised. I made the flavors sing on his tongue the way they did on mine.

  I broke down each taste for Jesse now, though remembering my brother made me want to send the taste of vomit straight to Jesse’s gag reflex. The golden brown, buttery casing, the fluffy texture within. Thick maple sweetness coated my tongue—his tongue—and slid thickly down his throat. This food would fill him up, a sleepy fullness, not the fading richness of blood, when the lust for more hit as soon as the liquid touched his lips.

  Then, I showed him how I used to be, sitting around a table with my family, each of us spearing a fluffy circle of perfection onto our plates, the butter melting on the surface, the easy glide of the knife as we sectioned off pieces and doused them in syrup. We gulped down the citrusy tang of orange juice in between laughter at some joke my brother made about math homework.

  The crisp saltiness of bacon came next. I tried to make him feel how the cooked flesh melted onto my tongue and crunched all at once. Instead of the messy bleeding and tearing of human arteries and skin, I showed him how we slid our food into our mouths on cool metal tongs, carved and sectioned with knives, scraped butter and jam against golden brown toast. Mouthwatering, delicious scrolled through my mind and into his, while through the windows sunlight pinged across tile and stainless steel, golden shards of light revealing the love we humans shared during a meal instead of a bloodlust that faded as soon as a body turned cold.

  I opened my eyes. His were closed, rapture and confusion caressing his brutal and beautiful features. I closed my eyes again, trying stealthily to gather a memory of who he’d been as a human man. Had he suffered cruelty like Vaughn? Had he been torn away from first love like Liam? I couldn’t see anything but shadows, unyielding darkness over his shoulder. A weighty burden he could only drown in rivers of blood and camaraderie with Vaughn and Liam.