Ringo, Slippery Banana: A Beautiful Love Story (Iron Orchids Book 7)

by Danielle Norman

  “We’re friends, nothing else,” Cooper announced nonchalantly.

  Something about his words hurt, I had truly been hoping that we were evolving into something more. I pulled my hand back from his grasp but didn’t want to act like a wounded puppy, so I reached for my water with it instead. I took a long sip as I tried to collect my thoughts.

  “So, how have you all been holding up, anything crazy going on?” I asked Everly and Sarah, who were sitting across from me.

  “It’s Pride Month, it’s always crazy. We get calls for people getting stuck on balconies, alcohol poisoning, you name it,” Everly answered.

  “You have to admit that nothing is as bad as Night of Joy,” Sarah said.

  “Don’t even mention it.” Everly blocked her ears.

  Groans from all around the table could be heard.

  “What? What is Night of Joy? Why have I never heard of it? If it is this much debauchery, then I must go.” I wiggled my brows.

  “No, no, you don’t want to be there. It is teenagers,” Sarah filled in. “All these church groups bring kids to Disney for Night of Joy.” Sarah used finger quotes to emphasize Night of Joy. “Of course, they stay a week and go as many places as they can, but that isn’t the problem. The problem is that most of these kids have been sheltered, raised in a Bible Belt neighborhood where they got away with nothing. It always reminds me of that movie with Kevin Bacon . . .” Sarah snapped her fingers trying to think of the name.

  “Footloose?” I offered.

  “Yes, that’s it. The teenagers go wild, the cops are nonstop being called, we are nonstop being called, and most of it is typical teenagers shit. But because it is new to them, they go overboard.” Sarah finished her bitchfest.

  “Thank god we have eleven more months until that shit again.” Cooper let out a sigh of relief. “Sarah, are you still at house fifty-seven?”

  “Yep.”

  “God, I wish you were with us. Ever thought of transferring?”

  “Nope.” Her single word was so firm. “I wanted to, but my problem got moved to you.”

  I was tuned in to the their conversation.

  “What, or who, is the problem?” Cooper asked.

  “Kevin Hammond was sent to your house. I was ready to quit until he was transferred. Believe me, I almost did too.”

  Cooper stared at me and then locked eyes with Everly. “He is the bane of my existence. I’ve seriously thought of leaving because of him.”

  “Whoa, why?” Sarah asked. “What’s he doing to you?”

  “You tell me first,” Cooper coaxed.

  “He’s sort of the reason I know Ringo. He introduced me to his best friend Eddie and the two of us started talking and then went out. At first, he seemed really cool but then I took him to Bananas.”

  “What?” Cooper asked. “You took a date to Bananas?”

  “Well, yes. I wanted to go there, and I see nothing wrong with great entertainment. My brother went with his wife, and he thought it was hysterical. Besides, Eddie said I could pick anywhere. Let me just say as much as I despise Kevin, Eddie is worse. He made an ass out of himself and was kicked out, but I stayed. It’s how I got to know everyone so well. They invited me over to their table to join them. Of course, we bashed Eddie the rest of the night.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Cooper offered.

  “Don’t be. Kevin made my life hell for treating his best friend like garbage. He kept reminding me that I wasn’t that hot and should count myself lucky that Eddie even gave me the time of day.”

  “And you work with this douche now?” Stella asked Cooper, and he nodded.

  “Yeah, you met him when we brought Ringo to the hospital.”

  “Him? I thought I was going to jail when I read his notes.”

  “Yeah,” Cooper said. “He’s even worse when you have to work with him.”

  “Constantly makes lesbian remarks to me, but he does get that I don’t care. I know who I am and if I were a lesbian then I’d still be happy with who I was,” Everly explained. “His main focus really is Dash.”

  “He’s atrocious. His mission in life is to make my life miserable,” Cooper stated but didn’t explain further. I met the eyes of several members of the gang, and it was obvious that they wanted to know more.

  “Care to elaborate?” Stella asked.

  “Nah, we’re here for Alex.” Cooper brushed it off.

  “Not happening, what’s going on?” Stella demanded. “You are clearly part of Ringo’s life, which makes you part of ours. We are here for one another, now apprise.”

  “Wow, apprise, it sounds so military. You’ve been hanging around those military girls.” I winked over to where Lara and the others sat. “Can I salute you while you whip me?”

  “Smart ass.” Stella reached over and smacked my leg. “What’s going on, Dash?”

  Cooper stared at his plate and dragged his fork through the potato salad. I finally bit the bullet and lowered my hand back to his lap for encouragement.

  “Hello, McFly,” Stella teased. She leaned over and spoke softly, “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want.”

  Cooper glanced up and gave Stella a raised brow. “Am I suppose to believe that, if I don’t say anything, you will leave this all alone?”

  “Of course not,” Stella stated. “We’ll just hound Ringo and Everly until we can put the pieces together.” Stella smiled.

  “Kevin constantly tortures me because he thinks I’m gay,” Cooper announced.

  Clangs of silver hitting plates echoed all around as the ladies dropped their forks and turned their focus toward us.

  “Thinks?” Sophie asked. “You’re not? We all thought that you and Ringo—”

  Cooper held up a hand. “I am. Wow. I’ve never openly admitted that before to anyone other than Alex and here I am proclaiming it in front of like thirty people.”

  “Like I say, if you’re gonna blow, blow like Mount Vesuvius.” My hands dramatically lifted into the air for a visual and to break the tension.

  “How does he make your life miserable?” Stella asked somewhat softer this time.

  “He always says offensive antigay remarks to me, he left period pads in my locker, and he stuffed my clothes in pantyhose. Not a day goes by that he isn’t bashing the LGBT community and/or making homophobic remarks and then calling it just a joke.”

  “Someone needs to teach him a lesson,” Stella said but she wasn’t looking at Cooper this time when she said it, instead she was locking eyes with a few others, the ones I knew to be equally as much trouble.

  Dash

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this? I know you’ve had a whirlwind week; this isn’t too much, is it?” I was so nervous about this because I’d never taken anyone home for Sunday dinner.

  “No, I want to meet your family.”

  “Please tell me that you won’t take anything personal, my dad is just, I don’t know how to explain it . . . an asshole.”

  “Calm down, I’m the one who begged you to let me tag along, remember?” Alex wasn’t shaken at all.

  My knees, however, were bouncing so much that they were hitting the steering wheel. We were parked off to the side of my parents’ home, the home I’d grown up in. They had graveled a small area for extra cars, since they could only fit one in their two-car garage thanks to all my dad’s shit.

  “But I’ve read stories about other gay people, I know your story, I’m still allowed home, I still have family.” I finished my explosion and glanced up to see Alex’s watery eyes as he leaned closer to me.

  We were still in the car, out of view of my family, so I met him the rest of the way and slightly opened my mouth to his. This was it. My first kiss. Our first kiss. His tongue didn’t dive in, but he did layer soft quick kisses on my lips in several places.

  “You’re a masterpiece,” Alex whispered between kisses. “When I get my strength back, I think that I will do to you what all people do with masterpieces.”

  “What’s that
?” I asked, trying to control my urge to increase our touch.

  “Pin you against a wall.” His words slid over my skin like steam in a shower set to a perfect temperature.

  “I like the sound of that.” I gave Alex a kiss this time and then pulled back. “We better head inside before they get curious and come out here. Someone probably saw my car pull in.” I opened my door and then hurried around to help Alex with his things, he insisted on bringing wine and flowers for my mother. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, can you carry the wine?” Alex asked.

  “Sure, no problem. Hold on to me if you need to. I mean, it’s been one week since you were shot.” Why I allowed Alex to convince me to come today and bring him was beyond me. I was fine calling and making my excuse with the family, but no, he wouldn’t hear of it, and he wanted to tag along.

  We finally made our way to the front door, but before I twisted the knob, I turned to him, “Remember they don’t know.” Why I said that, I had no idea. It’s not as if he’s forgotten that fact, but my nerves were at an eleven on a ten point scale.

  I pushed open the door and we were walking in without knocking or calling out. The smell of fresh baked bread filled the air along with hints of cigar smoke, normally the scents soothed me but not today, my stomach let out a weird gurgle to prove my point. “If you can smell the cigar, it is just one of the many battles my dad has, but that one is with my mom. She refuses to let him smoke in the house, but he does it anyway when she’s gone.”

  Alex gave me a wide smile. “It’s okay, Cooper, calm down. Everything is perfect.”

  “Coop, you’re here,” Julie said as she walked past. “Who do we have here?”

  “Alex, this is my sister Julie; Julie, this is Alex, my friend. Be careful, he was in an accident and recently had surgery.”

  “It isn’t like I was going to jump him, for god’s sake. I can clearly see there is something between you two.”

  “What? We’re friends.” I looked to Alex for assistance, but he didn’t say anything.

  “Whatever, come on inside. It’s nice to meet you, Alex.” Julie headed into the kitchen. “Mom, look who’s here, and he brought a friend.”

  “Did I hear that our little Coopie-Doll has arrived?” my dad asked in his sarcastic tone as he headed into the kitchen holding a can of Coors. “What the hell do we have here?” My dad paused, looked at Alex, then scanned him up and down.

  “Dad, that’s Alex. He’s Cooper’s friend,” Julie jumped and answered, trying to cut my dad off. “Alex, this is our mom, Kathleen.”

  Alex moved slowly over to my mom and handed her the flowers. “These are for you. Thank you for allowing me to tag along. I also brought a bottle of wine.”

  “How nice of you, Alex, thank you.” Mom was well rehearsed with her words. It was sad, she wouldn’t stand up to my dad, she was too June Cleaver for that. But, she had her subtle ways of getting even with him.

  Alex moved back over to me and grabbed the bottle of wine before handing it to my father. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like, Mr. Dash.”

  “What the hell am I supposed to do with this? It’s a girls’ drink, why don’t you two drink it.” He handed it back to Alex, and I retreated into myself. This was going exactly how I had expected.

  “Why don’t you all have a seat, we will go ahead and start dinner,” my mom said as she moved to the oven. “Julie, will you help me please?”

  “Of course.” My sister got up but not before pointing at my dad, “Be nice,” she hissed.

  “What? I’m always nice. Besides, you don’t talk to me like that, young lady, I’m your father.” Dad turned his focus back to Alex and me. “Your parents let you talk to them like she talks to me?”

  My stomach was a garbage disposal with hundreds of sharp blades moving at rapid speed tearing everything up.

  “Well, sir, I wouldn’t know. My mama kicked me out of her home when I was sixteen. She gave me a grocery bag and told me I could take whatever I could fit into it. So I did. That was eighteen years ago. I never spoke to or heard from her again.”

  “Hey, Dad, did I tell you that I’ve decided to start dating girls?” Julie asked.

  “There’s already enough girls in this family, you aren’t bringing one more in.” He smacked his fist against the table.

  “Hush, Julie,” my mom reprimanded. “Dig in, everyone, while it’s nice and hot.”

  “I’m sorry, Alex, do you want to go?” I whispered.

  “No, I’m fine,” he assured me. So, I brought the dishes closer since he couldn’t reach.

  “Alex was in an accident earlier this week and had surgery on his chest, so he can’t quite reach for things,” I explained.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, Alex,” my mom exclaimed.

  “Were you in the car with him?” my dad asked, not sounding the least concerned.

  “No, I was the paramedic on call. He didn’t have family here, so I befriended him.”

  “And you brought him here?” Julie asked. “Were you trying to finish off what the accident didn’t?”

  “I’ve had enough out of you,” my father snapped at Julie. “You’re being a bitch; you only act this way when Coopie is around.”

  “His name is Cooper, and no, I’m a bitch all the time. I only show it to you when Cooper is around, because that’s when you act like that old bigot from television, Archie Bunker.”

  I sat across from my dad and sister as they argued about me and wondered what in the hell was going through Alex’s mind.

  “Are you okay?” Alex whispered.

  I glanced up and our eyes locked. “No. I’m exhausted.”

  “I’m not feeling very well. I thought that I would be able to handle being out, but the gunshot wound to my chest was only a week ago,” Alex announced.

  “Gunshot?” My father stopped arguing with Julie long enough to turn his focus to Alex. “I thought you said accident?”

  “Well, it was an accident on my part that I got shot but not so much on the gunman’s. I own a restaurant that is popular, and always filled with gay and straight patrons but is known to be owned by a gay man, me. Last Sunday someone came in wielding a gun and calling out homophobic names and shot me.”

  “Oh, Alex,” my mother cooed. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Does shit like that happen a lot?” my father asked.

  “Being shot? Nope, this was a first. But seeing the ugly side of people? It happens, but it happens less and less each year as people become more tolerant.”

  “Why not just stop all of this gay shit then—”

  “Why not just stop being a man, Dad? What you’re asking Alex to do is basically the same thing and just as difficult,” Julie defended.

  “Mr. Dash—”Alex began.

  “Greg, call me Greg.”

  “Okay, Greg. Did someone tell you that you had to be attracted to women?”

  “No, it’s just natural.”

  “So, your daughter should be attracted to women too?”

  “No, you know what I mean. It’s natural for men, women are naturally attracted to men. What are you getting at?”

  “What I’m getting at is that there are a lot of things that happen when a baby is developing, not all are created equal. Some babies are born with an extra chromosome twenty-one, and therefore are diagnosed with Down syndrome. Some babies are born with dominant genes that make them a mathematical genius. Some babies are born with a recessive gene, and they are born with red hair in a family of brunettes. My point is that whether you consider it good or bad, all sorts of things happen while a baby is being developed, including whether they are born male or female and whether they are attracted to men or women.”

  “I don’t believe that. It’s a choice, Coop, here—”

  “Will you stop? I’ve never said anything about being gay.” I pushed away from the table and would have stood and marched out had it not been for Alex placing one hand on my arm. “Humph.” I crossed my arms but stayed where I was, away from th
e table.

  “Will you stop?” my dad asked. “Admit it to us or not, we know it, we’re your parents, we can see it.” I glanced over to my mom, who was nodding. I shook my head, there was no way I was going to admit this. My father was a retired fireman, and he was still friends with some of the people I knew. “When Coop was younger, he had guy friends, and they did normal guy things. As he got older, his guy friends stayed away, and Coop would stare at them like they were juicy T-bones.”

  “Dad!” Julie snapped.

  “That’s it.” I threw my hands up.

  “All of us, when we’re younger we only see other kids as kids, we have no interest in the human body or sex. Then one day it hits. To you, girls were no longer yucky. To me, I no longer wanted boys as just friends. Greg, it isn’t a choice, it’s who I am; it’s how I was born. It’s how four and a half percent of Americans are born.” Alex finished his explanation and then stood. “Thank you for having me. Julie, you are welcome at Bananas anytime.”

  “Wait, Bananas, the Drag Queen show? I’ve tried to get a table there on Sunday mornings for forever, but you’re always full.” Julie acted as if she had just learned that Alex was Santa Claus.

  “Call next time and tell them you want the Alex special. They will know that means my personal table, but don’t tell anyone because I only keep one per show reserved. You can bring friends no problem, the table sits up to four.”

  “Really? Thank you so much. I’ve been dying to come in and see the shows. I’ll try to bring Mom with me.” Julie glanced over to our dad. “Just my mom.”

  “Here, Cooper, take this home and split it with Alex, this way he doesn’t have to cook while he’s recuperating.” My mom handed me the tray of fresh baked ham.

  “Whoa, wait a minute, what about me?” my father interjected.

  “What about you, honey?”

  “The ham, you know how much I love leftovers for sandwiches.”