Break (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Lila Kane

  “The whole truth.”

  Scrambling off the bed, I started to pace. I walked to the window, but when I turned back, Finn was there.

  “I’m not mad,” Finn said softly.

  I flashed a nervous smile. “I know.”

  “I’m not him.”

  “I know. Finn, please.” I put my hands over my face, pulling in slow breaths until I felt like I could have a rational conversation.

  “Charlotte,” Finn whispered. “Look at me.”

  “I know you’re not him.”

  “Then look at me.”

  I lowered my hands, my eyes meeting Finn’s impossibly blue ones. He cupped my face between his palms. “I love you, Charlotte. I want to marry you and I’d do it in this apartment, at the cabin, or in front of a thousand people if you want. I don’t care. Honestly. As long as it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  I couldn’t help the tear that dripped down my cheek. Finn wiped it away.

  “If you want a big wedding, or a small one, I’ll be right there beside you for whatever you want to plan, okay? It matters to me because it matters to you.” He smiled. “I might not have much input about colors or whatever, but I’ll tell you what I think honestly, and I’ll be there.”

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m not convinced.”

  “Okay,” I said again, with a laugh. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I want you there, Finn. I want this to be what’s right for both of us.”

  “It will be.” He kissed me.

  I returned the kiss, putting all my heart into it, pressing my body as close to Finn’s as I could get. Trying to be part of him and show him how much a part of me he was.

  He backed up to the bed. I was dimly aware, in the back of my mind, that my mother was reading the newspaper down the hall, but my senses were assaulted with everything Finn. His smell, his touch, his words in my ear, murmuring my name over and over.

  “Next week,” he said, dragging me down to the bed.

  “I need to think.”

  “No thinking, just tell me you’ll marry me.”

  Finn pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. He filled his hands with my breasts, brushing the pads of his thumbs over my nipples.

  My head fell back on the comforter, and when my back arched, Finn used the moment to grab my pants and pull them down my legs, taking my underwear with them.

  “I did say I’d marry you,” I panted. “Already.”

  “Next week,” he insisted.

  I reached out, dragging him on top of me. “Stop talking.”

  He chuckled and rained kisses down my neck. When his mouth closed over my breast, I whimpered. “Pants off,” I said, reaching between us to help him.

  He caught my hands. “Next week.”

  With a low growl, I used all my strength to flip him off of me and onto his back. I yanked his sweats down, throwing them on the floor with my own clothes.

  “You,” I said, short on breath, “need to shut up.”

  His hands gripped my hips as I eased myself on top of him. His breath hissed out as he slid inside of me, slow and deep.

  “God, Charlotte.”

  “Close your eyes,” I whispered, leaning down far enough my breasts touched his chest.

  He obeyed immediately, and I linked my hands with his, holding them tight against the mattress.

  “Stay with me.” I brushed my lips on his before I began moving my hips.

  Finn’s fingers clenched around mine, his breathing growing heavy. I circled him, bent low so my nipples brushed his chest, and smiled at the groan that slipped from his lips.

  Before I could kiss him again, he used his strength to break free of my hold and flip me onto my back.

  “Next week,” he said again, and started to pump his hips again mine.

  “Finn.” I slid my hands around his neck, and then turned my face to the side when the first wave of pleasure hit me. “Keep going.”

  He sped up, our hips meeting each others thrust for thrust until be both peaked at the same time, arms coming around each other in a rush to hang on.

  Finn held me close against his sweat-slickened flesh, his breathing finally slowing down.

  “You didn’t answer me,” he murmured.

  I looked up at him, loving that he was so eager to marry me that he’d do it next week. Tomorrow even. It meant that much to him.

  “I don’t know if I have an answer for you. At least not one you’re going to like.”

  “I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, you know.”

  “I know.” I sighed, easing back from him a little to rest my head on a pillow. “I need to process. You just sprung this on me, and by the looks of it, this wasn’t something that hit you on a whim.”

  “No.” He stroked his thumb on my cheek. “Since you mentioned you might want to have the wedding at the cabin, it’s been on my mind. How simple it would be to take our friends and family there. To have enough security to—”

  “That’s the problem. Security.”

  “We’d have to have security, Charlotte. That’s just the way it is.”

  “No, I know. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying, are we going to be able to enjoy ourselves with that added stress? Being forced to have security at our wedding? And then our honeymoon?”

  He frowned, thinking this through. “But…that’s just the way it is right now. We can’t control what else is going on.”

  “It won’t be like this forever, Finn.” But even I heard the longing in my words.

  I wanted this to be over, but I didn’t want to wait until it was before I could marry Finn. I didn’t want to have to live my life around Mark and the circumstances in my life. I wanted to live my life in spite of it.

  “What’s wrong?” Finn asked, studying my face.

  “It’s…” I sighed and started to get up. “I need to think about it.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “To take a shower. You said everything was fine, right? When Curtis checked in?”

  He nodded, but caught my hand as I rounded the bed. “I didn’t mean to stress you out.”

  “You didn’t.” I smiled at him. “You helped me relax.”

  At least in body. Now my mind was buzzing with ideas and new worries.

  “Liar.”

  With a laugh, I touched his cheek. “Why do you think I’m lying?”

  “I know you’re lying because you’re bad at it. And because you distract yourself. You walk away. You shut me out.”

  He didn’t continue when he saw my eyes go wide. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pressed his cheek to my belly, still sitting while I stood in surprise by the side of the bed.

  “I’m sorry, Finn,” I whispered, touching his hair. “I…you’re right. I’m not trying to shut you out. I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s fine,” he murmured. “I’m not trying to start a fight here.”

  “No, really. Look at me.”

  He lifted his head.

  “I don’t want to shut you out,” I told him.

  “Then tell me what’s going through your head.”

  I nodded. “There’s a lot, and I still need to process. But first, I want to show my mom and my sister around Oasis. Mom wants to see the place.”

  He held my gaze, but didn’t answer.

  “You said Curtis said everything was fine,” I prompted.

  “I did.”

  “So…we can show them, right? You’ll come with us and they can see everything you built. It’ll be nice to get out. And we can have lunch—”

  “Not in Entertainment.”

  “Of course not,” I said, fumbling the words. He was afraid we might see Mark there. “Outside Oasis. Or downstairs, even, at the restaurant. On the patio.”

  He thought this through for another moment, then gave my hand a squeeze. “All right. Take your shower, I’ll see what I can do.”

&nbs
p; I smiled at him, then kissed him hard on the mouth. “Thanks.”

  He returned the smile, but his eyes were troubled.

  Jenna was as excited as my mom to see the rest of Oasis. When they’d gotten here yesterday, Dustin had ushered them straight up to our apartment and they’d only seen the lobby of Housing.

  Now, we headed down the elevator as a group, with Finn’s hand firm around mine. Shane accompanied us this time, and though my mom kept sending him curious glances, it was almost normal. As normal as we could get.

  When we reached the lobby, Finn pointed out the entrance to the gym and the restaurant we were having lunch at later.

  “They offer room service in the evenings as well,” Finn told my mom.

  “You really thought of everything.”

  “It was mostly about convenience. We want people to live here, and by offering these extra perks, it ensures our apartments will be full.”

  He started to explain something else to her, and I turned, surprised to see Tracy hovering at the edge of the lobby.

  Her eyes met mine and I tensed.

  “Ms. Evans?” Shane asked, stepping closer.

  Finn turned around, then followed my gaze. He immediately gripped my hand, trying to pull me behind him.

  “Let’s go,” he said.

  Tracy strode forward. “I just need to talk to you.” When Finn started to respond, she shook her hand. “Not you. Charlotte.”

  “If this is business,” Finn said, “you can call on Monday and make an appointment.”

  “Screw you, Finn. This is all your fault. Yours and hers,” she sneered. “What? Am I making a scene? Because—”

  “Okay, hold on,” I said in my most soothing voice.

  Finn’s hand tensed on mine. Couldn’t he see the red around her eyes or hear the desperation in her voice?

  “Let’s talk for a minute,” I said.

  “Charlotte,” Finn started.

  I glanced back, where Jenna stood with my mom, wide-eyed and concerned. I told Shane and Finn, “It’s fine. Just give me a minute.”

  “I’m not leaving you.”

  “We’ll be right over here.” I pointed to a grouping of chairs in the corner of the lobby.

  “One minute,” Finn said.

  I followed Tracy to the chairs, where neither of us sat. She hugged her arms around her middle. When she faced me, tears brimming over, I almost thought she was going to apologize. But instead, her cheeks blazed red and she pointed her finger at me.

  “You need to stay away from him.”

  I took a step back, startled. My own anger began to simmer. “Who? Finn?”

  “You know exactly who I’m talking about. Mr. Holmes. Travis.”

  My heart knocked against my ribs. “What?”

  “Cut the innocent act,” Tracy snapped. “You might have Finn wrapped around your finger, but I know the truth. Travis told me everything.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “How you used to be together. How he broke up with you and you couldn’t take it.”

  I backed up further, my legs bumping into the chair. I glanced behind me, eyes locking with Finn’s in a moment of panic.

  He strode over immediately, wrapping his arm around my waist. “You need to leave, Tracy.”

  “She’s ruining it,” Tracy said, eyes ablaze. “She ruined it for me with you, and now she wants to ruin it with Travis, too.”

  Finn’s jaw clenched. “Please don’t tell me you’re with him.”

  “Oh yeah? Why?” Tracy sneered. “You think he’s too good for me?”

  “No, Tracy,” I said, reaching out. “He’s not good for you. He’ll hurt you. You can’t—”

  “Don’t tell me what to do!” she shouted, drawing the attention of a few people passing by.

  Finn gripped my arm. “Let’s go.” He turned slightly. “Shane.”

  “He told me you keep harassing him,” Tracy continued. “He told me he’s worried you might do something!”

  “He’s lying to you, Tracy,” I said, my voice shaking.

  “You’re the liar. You stay the fuck away from him, or else!”

  Finn stepped in front of me and Shane joined him.

  “Miss,” Shane said calmly to Tracy, “I need you to come with me.”

  “Don’t you dare touch me!” She peered around him, icy eyes meeting mine. “I’m not going to let you ruin this for me.”

  Finn stepped in front of me, blocking my view. “Come on.”

  My heart thudded hard, blood rushing in my ears. “Finn,” I whispered.

  “Not now. Come on.”

  Shane escorted Tracy out of the building, but not after she hurled a few more insults at me, making my mom gasp and Finn grit his teeth.

  “We can go back upstairs,” he said. “We’ll have lunch brought up.”

  Calming my breathing, I shook my head. I tried to smile at my mom, who was reaching for me like she had no idea how to protect me from this, but she needed to try.

  “No, we won’t go back upstairs. We’re going to take a walk, see the building.” I looked up at Finn, taking his hand. “Let’s wait for Shane and then we’ll go.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  We stopped for coffee between the Entertainment Community and Main. I explained to my mom and Jenna briefly about Tracy and how she worked for Mark, and they didn’t ask anything more. Either because knowing that was enough of an explanation for them, or because they wanted to enjoy the day as much as I did.

  But I couldn’t get Tracy’s words out of my head. Travis told me everything. How you used to be together. How he broke up with you and you couldn’t take it.

  Mark was lying to her.

  My mom was making a comment about the trams and how they’d be suitable for older tenants further down the road, and I let my gaze wander.

  Shane was still with us, hovering to the side of the kiosk where Jenna and Finn waited for coffee. His gaze met mine briefly. He gave a nod and continued his lookout.

  My mom was still chattering when Finn and Jenna returned. And I was still watching the paths, trying to figure out a puzzle that wasn’t making sense.

  What was Mark doing? Was this a plan? Was it some way to get back into my life or was he starting over somehow?

  “Charlotte,” Finn said quietly, hand closing over my elbow.

  My gaze snapped to his.

  He smiled at me. “Why don’t you see if Paige wants to join us for lunch?”

  I blinked at him, and then at my mom and Jenna, who were staring at me as if waiting for an answer to something.

  “Uh…Sure.” I nodded. “Great.”

  “We’ll find a table,” Jenna said.

  I took Finn’s advice and pulled out my phone. It gave me a moment to take a breath and refocus. I sent off the text as Finn joined me again.

  “Are you okay?” He stepped close enough to wrap his arms around my waist. “Did you see something?”

  “No.” I smiled. “It’s nothing.”

  “The whole truth.”

  I smiled again. “Really. I was thinking. I…what the hell is Mark doing? He told her I wouldn’t leave him alone.”

  Finn winced. “I heard that. But we know that’s not the case. He’s just trying to turn her against you.”

  “But it’s my word against his. She believes him, Finn, enough to confront us—”

  “Doesn’t make it true.”

  “It doesn’t matter. What if she goes to the police or something? What if—”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Finn said quietly. He leaned in so his lips brushed my ear. “You’re supposed to be enjoying yourself. You don’t need to worry about it.”

  “I’m worried because I don’t know what he’s up to.” But then a thought occurred to me. “John would tell them, right? If Mark tried to get Tracy to say anything against me, John would—”

  I stopped talking the minute I saw Finn’s face. His jaw was tight, eyes narrowed in frustration. I hadn’t noticed
until then how his fingers had clenched on my waist.

  Leaning against him, I said, “I’m sorry. Finn, really. I won’t talk about this anymore.”

  He released a long breath and his hands relaxed. I felt him touch my hair and chided myself for letting my thoughts run away with me. For dragging Finn into it.

  “Coffee,” I said, pulling back. “And then lunch.”

  Paige returned my text, saying she’d meet us at the restaurant in Housing, and I forced my mind away from Tracy.

  Mom walked alongside me when we returned to the paths, insisting we stroll through the Commons instead of taking the tram even though her arthritis was acting up.

  She linked her arm through mine and sent me a smile that was genuine happiness. “He really loves you.”

  I glanced over. “What?”

  “Finn.” She smiled. “He hardly takes his eyes off of you, he touches you all the time. He wants to make sure you’re safe. I’m…” Her voice thickened with emotion. “I’m really happy you’ve found that. And it makes me feel better about all that’s gone on.”

  Behind us, Jenna and Finn walked together. He continued to point out features around the dome of the Commons and she nodded along, commenting here and there.

  “He wants us to get married soon,” I told her.

  “Like how soon?”

  I laughed. “As soon as I’ll say yes.”

  “And what do you think?”

  I sighed, steering her around a bench. “I think…it’s crazy. It’s so fast and I haven’t really had time to think at all.”

  “You’ve got a lot on your mind.”

  “I do. And I can’t seem to get around it.”

  “You should get a massage,” Mom said, matter-of-factly.

  I laughed. “Why’s that?”

  “Makes you relax, lets you focus. If you didn’t have all this”—she waved her hand—“outside noise, then what would you think? Would you want a fast wedding or to take your time? Would you jump into it or what? You’d be able to see around circumstances and just, you know, think with your heart.”

  “Smart,” I said.

  She grinned. “Yeah, I’ve got a little experience under my belt.”

  We rounded the security station and the Housing building came into view. “But what about you?”

  “What about me?”