Break (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Lila Kane

The call ended abruptly. I stared at the face of my phone, at the numbers flashing to signal how long we’d talked. Not long enough. Not enough to find out what was going on.

  “What is it?” Finn asked.

  “I think…” I turned to dresser, locating the shoes I’d slipped off next to it. “Something’s wrong.”

  “Did she say something’s wrong?”

  “No, but—”

  “Charlotte,” Finn said, blocking my path. “Just hold on.”

  “I can’t. I need—Finn, I need my shoes.”

  “Charlotte, stop.” He caught my shoulders before I could stoop for my sneakers. “Stop.”

  I looked up at his face, saw the wariness there, the fatigue, the concern. “I’m worried for her.”

  “I’m worried for you.”

  My mind was too busy racing through ideas, thoughts, fears, to process what he said. “Maybe I should try to call her back. Right? I should try to call her.”

  But when I lifted my phone, Finn plucked it from my hand. “Charlotte, stop for a minute.”

  “Finn. Don’t you care? What if something happens?”

  “I care about you. Dammit, Charlotte, you need to stop this.”

  My mouth opened in surprise. “I can’t believe—” Shaking my head, I turned for the hall. How could he not care? If it’d been me calling him, would he have just brushed me off?

  “Where are you going?” Finn asked. “Charlotte—shit.”

  I heard him rustle in the dresser for a shirt, but I was already down the hall, heading for the front door.

  “Charlotte,” Finn hissed, coming after me.

  I reached the door before he could stop me and yanked it open. Curtis stood there, surprising me. He glanced over calmly, but with question in his eyes.

  “Something wrong?”

  “I’m worried about Tracy,” I burst out. “She called me, and she said she was sorry, but I think something is wrong and—”

  “Charlotte,” Finn said, exiting the door behind me. He closed it slightly, probably to keep our conversation from bothering my sister and mother. “Please, come back in.”

  Curtis’s gaze flicked to Finn and back to me. “Tell me.”

  “Tracy just called me. She said she should have believed what I said about Mark.”

  “You were in contact with her?”

  “No.” I blew out a breath, trying to make him understand. “It was only the few minutes when she stopped us in the lobby.”

  “When you told her that he was lying to her, and that he might hurt her.”

  I nodded. “And I think she found that out. She sounded scared.”

  “Did she say she’d been hurt? Was she worried for her safety?”

  I lowered my chin, glancing at Finn in the process. “Well, no, but she sounded scared.”

  “What exactly did she say?” Finn asked.

  They both listened quietly when I explained what Tracy had said, but neither seemed as concerned as I felt.

  “I should call her back, right?” I asked Curtis. “Or—or go find her. I mean, what if she’s hurt or—”

  “Nothing she said gives any indication that she’s hurt.” Curtis’s eyes softened. “Contacting her might put you even further in a situation that you don’t need to be involved in.”

  “But…”

  “It wouldn’t hurt to tell Detective Winters about this. He can decide what to do from there. But if Mark’s behind any of it, you getting involved might make things worse.”

  Swallowing down my frustration, I gritted my teeth when Finn touched my arm.

  “Come on,” he said. “It’s late.”

  Curtis nodded to the door. “Get some rest. Let me know if she contacts you again, but try not to worry about her situation right now.”

  I opened my mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. I couldn’t argue with his logic, though I wanted to.

  Finn held out his hand, waiting patiently for me to take it and return to the inside of the apartment. He said goodnight to Curtis as I turned for the door, slipping my hand into his as I did.

  We walked back to the room without saying a word. Finn closed the bedroom door softly behind us when we were inside. He set my phone on the dresser and watched me carefully as I brought my pajamas to the bathroom to change.

  After brushing my teeth, I found him on the bed again, shirt off and face pensive.

  “She sounded worried,” I said. I walked around to my side of the bed and turned off the lamp.

  “I believe you.”

  “But you don’t want me to do anything about it.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  Climbing under the covers, I turned on my side, away from Finn and said, “Goodnight.”

  His soft sigh reached my ears. He shifted on his side of the bed and I heard the click of his lamp before the light vanished. Save for the light from the clock by the bed, it was dark. Quiet.

  Except for my thoughts.

  “I’m calling her tomorrow,” I whispered.

  “I agree with Curtis. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Finn said from behind me. He wasn’t touching me, but I could tell he was close.

  “I’m not telling you so you’ll agree with me, I’m telling you because I didn’t tell you about Mark and I feel bad—even if it was a good judgment call.”

  “So is stopping you from contacting Tracy. You do realize she could be doing all this because of Mark.”

  “Of course she is.”

  “I mean because he’s asking her to. Like getting in contact with me in the first place. Don’t you think it’s strange how she showed up suddenly right after you got here? It’s not like we couldn’t have gotten in touch before.”

  His words sunk in, and I rubbed my hand over my eyes. He was right. Mark must have found out about Tracy and Finn’s relationship somehow. He probably encouraged her to get in touch with Finn again. Clearly, he was influencing her in other ways.

  Which meant all this—including tonight—could be a trick. Or another way for Mark to draw me in.

  “Curtis thinks the same thing, doesn’t he?” I whispered.

  Finn’s voice was gentler when he answered. “I don’t know what Curtis thinks. But he’s still right. You getting involved could cause a bigger problem.”

  “For me, you mean.”

  “Yes.”

  I turned over, facing Finn in the darkness, only able to make out the shadow of his face and shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Mark.”

  “Okay.”

  It wasn’t the answer I was expecting, so I tried again. “Really, Finn. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make a scene at lunch.”

  “Okay.”

  Emotion rolled up, making my words thick. “I thought if I told you, you’d get upset or you’d go after him. I didn’t want that to happen.”

  After a long moment, he shifted on the bed with something that looked like a nod. “You’re right, I would have gotten upset. And I would have wanted to go after him.”

  I reached out for him, my hand connecting with his arm.

  His breath released. “Come here,” he said gruffly.

  I moved forward, so close my body touched his all the way down, and let him fold me in his embrace. Squeezing my eyes shut, tears leaked out, rolling down my cheeks until the first sob hit me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, hitching a breath.

  “Charlotte. No, don’t cry. You don’t have to apologize.”

  “I should have told you. You—you’re trying to help me. You’re putting up with all this shit because of me. I—I—”

  “Hold on. Charlotte. Take a breath.”

  My breath shuddered in and out, and I focused on slowing it down. But my mind wouldn’t cooperate. It kept going over and over things I didn’t want to think about. Things I had no control over.

  “Charlotte,” Finn said again, moving to sit up. “I’m going to get your pills.”

  “No. Finn, no. God, don’t let go.” My words came out as
a babble, mixing with tears and fear. “Please. I need—”

  “What do you need?”

  Him. I needed him. But that wasn’t fair. I’d dragged Finn into all this mess.

  “Charlotte,” Finn prompted, brushing my hair from my forehead. “I need you to talk to me here.”

  “It’s—I—” I took a breath, trying to slow my words, to make them make sense. “You’re in this mess because of me, and—and I shouldn’t ask you to deal with me when I’m like this.”

  “Charlotte,” Finn said, voice full of warning. “That’s bullshit. You’re going to piss me off if you keep talking like that. I’m not dealing with you. I’m here because I love you. I’m dealing with the situation, and I’d deal with it all day if I had to because I’m doing it for you. Tell me you understand.”

  I hitched another breath, my fingers curling over his strong arms. “Okay. I’m sorry. I—”

  “And stop apologizing. Breathe in and out, and tell me what you need, because that’s what’s going to help us both right now.”

  Holding in another apology, I did as he suggested and breathed in and out for several seconds. My heartbeat calmed. And Finn was still there. When my thoughts stopped rushing and started to settle, Finn was still there, arms tight around me, lips at my temple.

  “Better,” he murmured. “Keep going.”

  With a half-laugh, I snuggled closer to him. “It shouldn’t be this hard.”

  “What?”

  “Breathing.”

  He started to move again, and my hands clenched tight.

  “Charlotte,” he murmured, “I’m not going anywhere. Your pills are right over on the nightstand, and I’m going to grab a glass of water.”

  I forced my fingers to unclench, and felt the warmth of Finn’s body leave mine when he rose from the bed. More breaths. Mark was just trying to scare me, and to screw with my relationship with Finn. Another breath. Finn didn’t scare that easily, and I needed to take a book from his page. Breathe in, breathe out.

  “Charlotte.”

  Finn’s voice found me from the other side of the bed, and I sat up. “I think I should talk to Dr. Palmer again.”

  I saw the shadow of his nod as he pressed a pill into my hand and passed over a glass of water. “He emailed me today, to check in on you.”

  “He did?”

  “Yes. Take the pill.”

  I popped it in my mouth and took a sip of water.

  “I’ll give him a call tomorrow,” Finn said. “See if he can stop by.”

  “Okay.”

  Finn set the water on the nightstand and crawled into bed with me again. He propped his back against the headboard and pulled me to him so I could rest my cheek on his chest.

  “It might be best if you let Dustin or Shane take your mom and sister to the airport,” Finn suggested. “Maybe stay in for the day. Lay low.”

  “Good idea.” I closed my eyes, listening to his steady breathing. “That’s nice.”

  “What?” Finn asked.

  “You. Your heartbeat. You can still be calm even with everything going on.”

  “I’ve lost it a few times myself, Charlotte. You know that. And then you calm me down. We’re good for each other.”

  I sighed, relaxing even further. The knot in my chest loosened. “I agree.”

  He ran his hand down my back, fingers fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. “Since you’re in such an agreeable mood…I think we should go to the cabin next week.”

  I lifted my head, but Finn touched my cheek, making me relax again. “It doesn’t have to be for a wedding or for anything else, but just to get away.”

  It took me only a few seconds to decide. It sounded nice to get away. With Finn. Maybe his family and mine if they could make it for a few days. “What about Curtis?”

  “I already talked with him about it. No problem.”

  Smiling slightly, I tucked my hand up close to my cheek on Finn’s chest. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yeah. I want to go.” He didn’t say anything at first, and then I added, “We can talk about the rest when we get there.”

  Finn brushed a kiss on my temple. “Good.”

  My breathing slowed further, and I could feel sleep threatening to take over. “Anything else?” I asked quietly. “Since I’m being agreeable?”

  “You never told me what you need.”

  I slipped closer to sleep, barely able to find the words. “You, Finn. That’s all I need right now. You.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Finn kept busy the entire next morning, making plans for the cabin, calling his mom and Jake, talking with my mom and my sister.

  I tried to take it in stride. After all, I didn’t have to make any decisions yet. If all I wanted to do at the cabin was relax, I could. And if I wanted to plan our wedding…I could do that, too.

  I wanted to marry Finn I knew that without a doubt. I just didn’t want the current events in my life to overshadow what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. And I wanted Finn to enjoy it, too.

  When I said goodbye to my mom and sister, they were optimistic about my relationship with Finn, and that meant more than anything. I missed them already, but I knew I’d see them soon. Maybe for a wedding.

  After they left, Finn got on the phone again, leaving me to wait for Dr. Palmer, who wasn’t coming until later in the afternoon. I paced in front of the window, nervous to talk to him again, although I wasn’t sure why.

  “Sit down,” Finn suggested, turning his mouth away from the phone. “Relax.”

  “I should probably tell Tucker.”

  “It’s already taken care of,” he assured me.

  He went back to his call, so I went back to pacing, searching for something to do. I’d called the detectives yesterday about Tracy, and then again this morning after her phone call last night. I wouldn’t be surprised if they stopped by for more information—and secretly hoped they were checking on her, too, in case something really was wrong.

  In another moment, Finn was standing in front of me, still on the phone, and handing me a magazine. It was one of the ones Leslie had left behind, with a bride on the cover, laughing while she threw autumn leaves in a field of trees.

  He lifted his eyebrows and grinned.

  Rolling my eyes, I took the magazine and brought it to the couch. The first dress I saw looked a lot like the one I’d wanted when I’d been planning my wedding with Mark. Of course, he’d told me what he wanted as well. Wear something long, he’d said. Something that’s not too revealing, he’d instructed. And then he’d gone on and on about everything he wanted me to wear and not to wear, which had resulted in an argument that hadn’t ended well.

  Setting the magazine aside, I caught Finn watching me. He ended his call and walked over.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting next to me on the couch.

  I shrugged, but then caught myself when he opened his mouth to say something about it. “Sorry, the whole truth. I…I looked at wedding dresses when I was planning on marrying Mark. It wasn’t fun. He wanted to tell me what to wear and he wanted to dictate everything. Not just the dress, but who I invited and…” I smiled at him, trying to brush it off. “I guess that’s why I don’t want anything big. I just want whatever you want.”

  “Whatever we want. The cabin is a good start. It’s not traditional, but it means something to us. Both of us.”

  “And your family.”

  He smiled, lifting my hand to brush his lips on my knuckles. “You can wear jeans and a T-shirt if that makes you feel better. I don’t care as long as you’re there.”

  “I still don’t know for sure about this week, or next, even.” I kept my eyes steady on his face, waiting for the disappointment to flicker. “I want to marry you, Finn. But I—”

  “No pressure. Just keep talking to me.” He grinned. “I’ll keep trying to convince you, but I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

  “I want to.”
<
br />   “Anything you’re not ready for then.”

  I nodded. “I appreciate that.”

  “There’s one thing I do want a say in, though.”

  “What?”

  “The honeymoon. Let me plan it, let me handle it. I want to take you somewhere special.”

  “Are you going to tell me where?”

  He kissed me. “I don’t know yet. I might make it a surprise.”

  “I’ll go anywhere with you, Finn.”

  He grabbed me faster than I could blink, one hand in my hair and the other scooting me on the couch until I was almost in his lap. His mouth was on mine, taking my breath, tongue brushing mine.

  “I know you’re strong and capable,” Finn murmured, “but it’s nice to be able to do things for you.”

  I arched my neck when he ran his lips down my jaw, breath warm and hands seeking places on my body that made me want to take his clothes off.

  “I need to rely on you more often,” I whispered.

  “I’m here for you.”

  Finn eased me back on the couch, his hand sliding under my shirt. I dragged his mouth to mine as one of his knees came up so he could kneel between my legs. Propped over me, his eyes so blue, I only wanted to lose myself in him.

  In that haze of love, it took me a moment to recognize the ringing in my pocket.

  “Don’t answer it,” Finn murmured against my lips, his hands still seeking, touching. He found my breast and his fingers brushed the tightened bud of my nipple.

  “I…it could be my mom.” I fumbled in my pocket with Finn still levered over the top of me. “I need to see.”

  I froze at the name on the screen.

  “Who is it?” Finn asked.

  “Tracy.”

  Finn reached for the phone.

  “No.” I scrambled up on the couch, pressing the button to answer. “Hello?”

  Gritting his teeth, Finn scooted over on the couch so he was right next to me. “Charlotte.”

  A low noise from the other end of the phone greeted me. Something that sounded like gurgling. Or wheezing.

  “Charlotte,” Finn said again.

  “Listen. Finn, listen.” I put the phone on speaker and we both leaned in.

  The voice that came across the line was weak, in pain. “Rest…”

  My gaze flashed to Finn’s, heart racing. He gripped the phone tight, his hand over mine.