Tempted

by Rita Thedford

"Please explain, if you can, what was contained in your father's will that meant you must marry and marry quickly."

  Resigned, Christian stared into her eyes. “My father's will stipulated that I must marry by midnight of my thirty-fifth birthday or lose my title and lands and the fortune that it entails."

  "Your birthday was yesterday, was it not?"

  "Yes,” he gritted out. “But I would have wanted you anyway, Elizabeth. You were the only woman I wanted from the very first moment I laid eyes upon you."

  "Liar,” she hissed, stepping closer. “Any woman would have done quite nicely. No, it was not affection that you felt for me. I was simply handy. If I do not miss my guess, I imagine the biggest motivating factor in your choosing me was pure lust."

  He stood rooted to the spot. It was true. He couldn't deny that he'd felt lust. But he'd admired her, too. He'd admired the way she held herself, the way she stood up to Edward. Everything about her had called to him that night, but she would never believe that now. “Yes. I wanted you."

  "To bed me, you mean?"

  "Yes."

  While he stood there, feeling his life crumble around him, Christian watched Elizabeth move toward him. Her stride was long and fraught with purpose. Tears poured heavily from unblinking eyes as she stopped before him. Raising back her hand, she slapped him.

  The silence that followed the cracking sound of flesh against flesh was absolute.

  "Have your heirs upon dockside harpies, you bloody bastard,” she whispered. “For you shall not have them on me! Enjoy your title, Your Grace, and the fact that you have managed to humiliate me. Enjoy your victory as much as you shall enjoy your very lonely bed."

  She whirled around, skirts flying, and stalked from the room. He had the terrible feeling that she'd taken his heart with her.

  Eighteen

  Willows hung languidly over the country dirt road to dapple a single white horse along with the passengers of the fashionable, bright red curricle. An Li watched her new friend carefully, hating the overall pallor of her skin. Elizabeth's eyes were red-rimmed from crying; her lips were tightly compressed as if withholding a wealth of misery.

  It was uncomfortable in Christian's house these days. Both Elizabeth and Christian were short tempered and testy, an unusual state for either of them. He stayed away from the house most of the time only to return in the small hours of the morning. She, on the other hand, kept to her rooms, refusing all visitors, food, and comfort.

  Oh, An Li had heard the tales servants spread regarding the huge argument several weeks ago, and she realized that something horrid had come between the two people for whom she most cared. They had been so very happy after the wedding, but now they seemed to be strangers.

  "Thank you, m'lady, for bring me here this day,” she in the silence. “Charlotte House, it beautiful place. Ladies very nice, make An Li feel like lady, too."

  Elizabeth's eyes widened as she turned to her. “Why you are a lady, An Li. In every sense of the word, you are well mannered and kind."

  "Like pet.” An Li giggled, as leaves rustled overhead.

  "Hush, An Li. Not like a pet at all, you ninny. You are a lovely human being and an exceptional friend."

  She studied Elizabeth's hands as they knowledgably commanded the curricle's ribbons. Today Elizabeth drove the vehicle instead of Thomas. The conveyance's black leather hood separated them from the servant, who sat behind them on a small platform provided for grooms or chaperones.

  Breathing in the early afternoon air on this bright summer day, An Li looked back on her short friendship with Christian's new wife. On most days, she felt just a bit jealous of Elizabeth and hated herself for it. It was only that his new wife was everything that she was not, and An Li was quick to recognize it. Well-spoken, lovely, and virtuous, Elizabeth was sure of herself and her place in the world. Beside a woman like her, An Li felt like a simpleton.

  But she liked Elizabeth very much. So when she'd approached An Li about a ride in the country to visit friends, she had not been able to refuse. Elizabeth no longer seemed to be a woman who had everything. She was heartbroken, and An Li wanted to help. Getting out of the house and around others would do them both good.

  "My friends at Charlotte House like you very much, could you not tell?"

  "Yes,” An Li nodded. “I believe. They all have good heart.” She patted her chest for emphasis, happy to see Elizabeth smile. “It good place and ladies like gifts we bring. Yes?"

  Elizabeth clicked her tongue and moved the ribbons, before turning to An Li once more. “For a certainty, they did. You see, they do not go about in society as many of them are in hiding. No one must ever learn of their whereabouts. I try to come out often and each time, I bring items they might enjoy. Today we brought materials for needlework and the latest novels."

  An Li sighed as birds flew from branch to branch. “I love read, too."

  "Do you?"

  "Oh yes, very much love read. In China, An Li is slave. Slave never read, but Christian, he teach. Good man, him."

  Elizabeth's eyes clouded over, and she looked away before speaking. “Yes, he can be a good man, but there is deceit in him, too. Just as with most men, his needs alone are of tantamount importance."

  An Li gasped and placed a hand upon Elizabeth's gloved wrist. “You do not believe this! Tell me no!"

  "I cannot. Please, let us talk of something else."

  An Li fell silent, wondering how she could help. It hurt to watch them tear at each other this way. Love was not meant to turn into an ugly thing.

  And she knew about love. Each evening, she slipped from the house and deep into the garden where she met the man she loved. Stephen was so handsome, was so gentle when he took her body one night not so long ago. Just the memory of his touch, of the new feelings he brought to life within her, sent her reeling for breath.

  But along with those incredible feelings was an infinite sadness.

  As if her thoughts had magically conjured him, he drove up the lane in a soft yellow Highflyer Phaeton racer. They were almost to the outskirts of London by now, and An Li was surprised to her toes to see him appear from out of nowhere this way.

  "Good day, ladies,” he said, drawing the reins to slow his horse to a stop. Tipping his soft, gray hat, he nodded his head in a brief, but polite bow. The brisk wind had given a reddish glow to his bronzed cheeks, and her breath caught on a helpless sigh. “I must admit that my being here is not an accident. Christian gave me your direction. Although he did not reveal your destination, he did say that I might run upon you here on your way home."

  "Good day, Lord Darlington,” Elizabeth murmured politely. “I confess to surprise. I was not aware you had taken such an interest in my activities."

  "Well, actually, Your Grace, I thought only to converse with Miss An Li for a moment, if you have no objection?"

  Elizabeth's eyes widened. “I wasn't aware you knew each other."

  An Li couldn't speak. She could see that Elizabeth was curious about her relationship with Lord Darlington.

  "We met some time ago,” Stephen said. “May I speak with her?"

  "An Li, is this acceptable?"

  An Li shook herself and slowly nodded.

  Stephen's smile was near blinding. “Would you come for a drive with me?"

  She could not believe a polite gentleman would dare such a thing! What would people think of his interest in a poor, ill-bred Chinese girl? He would be shunned by those of his class, scorned and ridiculed. She was not fit company for Stephen—at least, not in public.

  Casting a long look at Elizabeth, she saw no censure. Indeed, a slow, sweet expression crossed Elizabeth's features. A look of wonder, perhaps. “Please, dear, do not let me interfere with your enjoying this lovely day with such a nice gentleman. Go, if you wish."

  "Yes,” An Li whispered softly, gazing into Stephen's intense dark eyes. “I go, sir."

  With a grin, he leaped from the phaeton and took her hand. “I shall not have her long, Your Grace,
” he said to Elizabeth. “And she shall be quite safe."

  She laughed. “Of that, I have no doubt. Good to see you, Lord Darlington, and have a care for my dear friend."

  With a firm click, she sent the horse in motion, leaving the two of them standing in the lane.

  "Come,” Stephen said in a low voice. “I have found the perfect spot for us to talk."

  An Li simply nodded and stared at the toes of her proper English shoes, vaguely recognizing they needed a good polishing. When he took her hand, she realized that he'd removed his riding gloves, and the touch of his warm hand brought to mind vivid memories of his hot, fevered touch on her naked skin.

  Blushing wildly, she let him lead her to a shaded clearing where a fallen log provided a place to sit. Wildflowers graced the romantic bower and a timid gray squirrel set up a clicking sound as it sat up in alarm and raced frantically up the nearest tree. Stephen smiled at her, making her heart pick up its pace.

  "You look beautiful in your English dress,” he said, trailing his eyes over the soft yellow dimity gown she wore.

  "Elizabeth, she give. You like?"

  Stephen chuckled. “I like very much, love.” Leaning closer, he brushed her lips with his own, then spoke softly against them. “But I also like you wearing nothing at all. Your skin is sweet perfection. Your fragrance disarming. Oh, my dear, I love everything about you."

  An Li felt her world tremble on its axis and chastised herself for her stupid weakness. Flustered, she started to sit, but his hand on her arm stopped her.

  "Wait. Let me remove this enchanting, chipped-straw bonnet you wear. Though you are lovely in it, I have made you a surprise.” Removing an ivory stick pin from the woven straw, he sat it aside then took the hat and tossed it down to settle upon a crop of clover.

  His face flushed, as if he might be embarrassed, he reached down to pluck a flower-wreath from atop the fallen log. Yellow and white daisies were strung together to form a small ring, which he gently set on An Li's black hair.

  "There,” he said. “Now you resemble the fairies who surely occupy this place."

  Surprised by his gesture, she reached up to finger the delicate petals. “Pretty thing this. Thank you."

  He shrugged. “I confess that I have not done such a thing since I was a small boy, but I found that I had time on my hands while I waited. Please, love, sit down. I must speak with you on a very important matter."

  Terror shook her as she noted the intensity lingering in his eyes. Oh, how she loved him! How frightened she was that he might feel the same!

  She settled herself on the fallen log, and he sat beside her. He took her hand and softly rubbed the palm with his thumb. “Surely, An Li, you realize how deeply run my feelings for you."

  Remaining silent, she lowered her gaze to their joined hands. “I believe you care for me."

  "No, it is much more than that. I am a hard man, An Li, so hard that I never believed in anything remotely resembling love. You have changed everything. Your sweetness and compassion, lord, even the simple touch of your hand brings me to my knees. I find that I cannot live without you, dearest. Please say that you will be my wife."

  Stricken, she opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a gentle finger over her lips. “No, do not answer yet. I know how you feel, how you worry about the differences between us. We can go away. We can find a place without prejudice; I know we can!"

  She shook her head sadly. “Such place does not exist, Stephen. I am whore. Will always be whore."

  His face colored with anger. Taking her shoulders, he gave her a gentle shake and stared deeply into her eyes. “Never say this again! Your choices were taken from you from the day you were born. Say you will forget all about the past and begin anew with me! Say it, An Li!"

  Jerking from his hold, An Li stood and moved away. Keeping her back to him, she spoke the words she knew she must say one day. “I cannot love, Stephen."

  "What do you mean?"

  Schooling her features to a coolness she did not feel, she faced him. “I was slave. I was beaten and often. I was forced to sleep with many men. This is how I learn to hate."

  "There is not a whit of hatred within you. You lie!"

  "It feel good to have fine gentleman fall in love with me, but all I have is contempt for all men. Even you, my lord. An Li not want man, any man, in life. Our time together was play for An Li.” Taking the lovely floral wreath from her head she tossed it carelessly on the ground. She laughed. “You fall into trap so easy. An Li want, for first time, to make man fall in love with her. My trick work. You love. I laugh in face."

  Stephen's face twisted in a mask of agony and fury. “You lie!"

  "No,” she coldly said. “I make fool of man. Makes me feel good to hurt you. I will never wed you or any man. Only want you leave An Li alone. Take me home, Stephen, and never come to me again."

  As he stormed from the clearing, she stood for many long moments, twisted inside from the untruth of her words. Her throat tightened into a hot ball of grief as she watched the man she loved walk out of her life.

  Stumbling forward, her sadness overwhelming, she wanted to die. All her life, she'd wanted someone to love her. Stephen loved her, of that she was certain, yet she loved him too much in return to let him toss away his future.

  Now she had lost everything. Her love. Her heart. Clutching her middle against the pain, she took a deep breath and steeled herself to leave the magical clearing. Walking slowly toward the road and her lost love, she paused to look back. The daisy wreath lay forlorn among the clover, trampled beneath her feet.

  * * * *

  Standing before the cheval mirror, Elizabeth gazed at the dress she wore for tonight's ball honoring her marriage to Christian. She did not want to attend, but since her parents hosted the affair, there was no polite way to refuse. Hopefully, they would never know how empty her marriage had become.

  Empty and hopeless. Much like herself.

  The past two weeks had been an abomination. A drought of the heart from which she thought she might never recover. An Li's presence was no longer there to offer a distraction, and Elizabeth felt she'd lost her one true friend.

  Not long after An Li's meeting with Stephen over a week ago, she'd asked to go to live at Charlotte House. Something, Elizabeth knew, was dreadfully wrong with her, but An Li had remained silent. Despite protests from both Christian and herself, An Li was set on leaving them. Elizabeth wanted to learn what had happened, but she wasn't in a position to offer advice considering the mess her own life had become.

  Christian avoided her as if she were diseased, and though she professed this to be her wish, it was all a dreadful lie.

  Never, at least not since Lottie's death, had she felt such grief. Vacant eyes stared at her reflection as she considered the mirror image. The beautiful peach gown did nothing to hide the circles caused by sleepless nights.

  How in the name of Jesus was she to mask the sham her marriage had become? Hiding from the world so soon after being wed was not unusual for newlyweds, therefore, her parents had no inkling of the trouble between them. But tonight, she and Christian must face polite society and pretend to a love match when they both knew their union was not. She had never been a hypocrite, so she dreaded the evening like one would dread having a tooth removed.

  Surely he felt the same, although it was hard to know considering they'd spent barely ten minutes together since the altercation in his study. The moment of truth had been a bitter blow indeed.

  She had never really believed that he might actually love her, but neither had she imagined his feelings would be so cold, so calculating. No, he'd used her to secure his own place in the world and, naturally, he'd wanted her to warm his bed.

  I love him still!

  The words echoed through her brain as she swung away from the mirror and walked to an open window. Leaning there, letting the evening air cool the heat in her face, she cursed herself for her stupidity.

  Moron.

  Idiot.
>
  Fool.

  "You are inordinately beautiful tonight, Elizabeth.” Christian stood in the doorway separating their two bedchambers and simply stared. Dear God in heaven, she was lovely. So lovely, yet so far away she might be on another continent.

  Dressed in a clinging gown of softest peach, she was the epitome of a young bride. Yards upon yards of sheer iridescent fabric swirled about her limbs, teasing the eye with flashes of shiny silver and gold threads. The nearly-nothing bodice exposed creamy swells of ivory skin, and he felt his heart pump with the energy of a lightning storm. His loins burned and ached. He wanted to bury his face against her bosom and breathe in her sweet fragrance.

  But no! He'd been an ass and ruined everything between them. A part of him wished that she had never learned the truth, but the smarter part of him simply wished he'd never lied to begin with. And not telling her the truth was the same as a lie.

  "What do you want?” she coldly said.

  "Only to admire you. Nothing more."

  "All right, sir, you have looked. Now please leave, and I will meet you downstairs in a moment."

  He had had enough! The silence between them was a killing thing and with her standing there so cool and remote, his patience had come to an end. Long, determined strides brought him to stand before her. Despite her body stiffening, she made no move to walk away, so he placed his hand over hers. “We must talk, love, before we leave tonight."

  "I am not your love."

  "So you keep telling me,” he replied. “Come."

  Taking her hand, he led her to the chair at her vanity and pressed her into it. With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes. He felt a sharp twinge in the vicinity of his heart. She looked so tired, as if she hadn't slept in days. Ruefully, he shook his head. He was no different. The nights without her had turned long and dreary, paralyzing him with a fear that his life might continue in this nightmare. Sweet God, he missed her!

  Standing behind her, he gently placed his hands upon her bare shoulders letting his fingers linger over the fragile skin of her collarbone. Rubbing slightly, he inhaled her fragrance and bent low to rub his cheek along the bright curls atop her head.