by Nat Burns
Martha eyed Nina’s pink cheeks as if wondering what her thoughts could be. “Well, if you’re sure.”
“Sure,” Nina said firmly. “Listen, why don’t you go fetch my bag for me. It’s just inside the bedroom door. I think I’ll wait here.”
She handed her empty glass to a puzzled Martha, then walked over to stand by Martha’s car.
Hazy came out a moment later and her questioning blue eyes captured Nina.
Nina wanted to rush to her, to kiss her, to wrap her in her arms. But the best thing for both of them was for Nina to stay as far away from Hazy as possible.
Martha came up behind her then and Hazy turned away. Nina took her bag from Martha.
“Hazy,” Nina called and walked to her.
She could smell the wonderful open-air scent that seemed so much a part of her, could feel the heat radiating from her sun-bronzed skin and had to fight the urge to nibble at her neck where a slow pulse throbbed.
“Nina,” she said gently. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I think so,” Nina answered timidly.
“What’s goin’ on,” she asked, nodding to indicate Martha and Rhonda.
Tears filled Nina’s eyes and she could only shake her head. Why couldn’t life be simpler?
Conscious that Rhonda and Martha were watching her every move, Nina reached into her handbag and counted out the money she owed Channel Haven for her second week.
“Here, here’s what I owe you for next week’s rental,” she said.
She felt rather than saw Hazy’s back stiffen at her words. “What are ye tryin’ to prove, Nina?”
“Please Hazy, just take the money,” she pleaded, her voice catching on a sob. “This is business.”
Anger transformed Hazy’s features as she roughly grasped Nina’s upper arm and turned her so her back was to the other two women.
She released Nina, jerked the money from her hand then stuffed it helter-skelter back into the handbag. “I da na need your mainland payoff nor none of your pitiful excuses,” she growled, her accent growing thick from anger. “Be off with ye’re friends and lovers. I shan’t sit about and mewl after you, ye can be assured of that.”
She stomped toward the office and Nina, heart heavy, walked slowly toward Martha’s car. Heartbroken, she nevertheless felt certain keeping Hazy at a distance was the best thing to do.
Chapter 30
Lunch proved pleasant even though Nina’s heart throbbed low in her chest like a worn engine.
Martha and Rhonda carried most of the conversation, eating heartily of the fresh seafood delicacies offered by one of the island’s finest restaurants. Nina answered when spoken to and picked at the food. She saw Martha watching her with a worried frown and tried to push away the gloom engulfing her. She joined into a conversation about the many types of gulls as her mind wondered what to do about Rhonda now that she was here. Obviously Rhonda wanted to resume their relationship as if nothing had happened.
Even if they could go on as before, she could definitely not trust her anymore; that much she knew for sure. How could she give her life and love to someone she couldn’t trust implicitly?
Yes, she would definitely send Rhonda away and continue alone, praying no one found out about the madness between her and Hazy. And madness was what it had been. A fast and furious infatuation, impossible to allow. She had been loved by Hazy and had loved her in return. Now she could move away at the end of the week and try to avoid her in the future. Perhaps someday they would meet by accident and could laugh about the strange chemistry that had thrown them together for that brief moment in time.
Nina swallowed hard, fervently hoping that day would never come. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to face her alone without wanting her just as much as she had last night. As she did right now.
“So Nina, do you think you’ll like living on the island?” Rhonda’s voice was soft and intimate as she leaned across the table.
Martha had disappeared. Nina saw her enter the ladies’ room.
“Yes, I already like it very much,” Nina told her. “I can’t wait for the house to be finished.”
Rhonda watched her a moment then grasped her hand. “And us, Nina? What is our future? Do I have a chance? I know I live several hours away but I could relocate. My father has a blending company on the Eastern Shore and I’m sure he could transfer me there.”
Though she had expected it, Nina was still appalled beyond belief. She was tired, so tired of this insane trend her life was taking. Her mind suddenly brightened and took an impulsive shift and she knew the right choice. She would avoid any relationships and live alone with her books, her music, and maybe a cat and some ducks for company.
She studied Rhonda with hard eyes, re-evaluating what life would have been like had she turned up for the commitment ceremony. What she had once considered a charmed existence no longer was the case. It was so obvious now: Rhonda was vain, spoiled, demanding and unpredictable. She hadn’t even decently apologized for the hurt and humiliation she’d inflicted.
Then there was Hazy, who was quarrelsome, certainly a womanizer, and betraying lovely Mama New.
Neither of them deserved her.
“Nina? Are you all right?” Rhonda was worried about her, she could see it in her long, sleek face. Nina’s decision was made. “Yes, I’m fine, but we need to talk.”
“Good,” said Martha coming up behind her. “You can drop me off at my hotel so I can make some calls and you two can take my car and go for a nice long drive.”
Rhonda protested politely but Martha insisted.
They left the restaurant and Martha drove to the Assateague Inn, where she passed the car to Nina and Rhonda.
From there they drove onto Assateague Island.
Most of the tourists had gone this late in the day but a few diehards were crabbing in the sun-heated backwater alongside the road. Rhonda drove all the way to the beach then turned and retraced their path until finally stopping at an overlook with a view of the salt marsh. The two of them sat silently for many moments.
“So, what do we need to talk about?” she said finally. “You’re still mad about what I did—leaving you—aren’t you?”
“No,” Nina answered truthfully. “I don’t think I am.”
“Well, what is it then?”
Nina turned so she could see the other’s face. “You and I have been seeing each other off and on since we were in college, right?”
“Actually, we started dating steadily after graduation,” she corrected her, “but go on. This sounds like a real good Dear Jane letter. I guess I’ve got one coming.”
Nina, angered by the remark, tried to remain calm. “Not exactly. I...I just think I’ve fallen out of love with you. I mean…” She paused as Rhonda sighed loudly and shifted in her seat. “No, really, I will always be your friend but I don’t love you anymore.”
“It’s that Hazy woman, isn’t it? That island bitch you’re renting from. I saw the way she was looking at you. Are you sleeping with her?”
Nina’s mouth fell open and her anger soared. “How dare you ask that? It’s none of your business what I do now, not after what you did to me!”
“See? I knew you were still angry about that. You can’t fool me.”
She stared at her. Why shouldn’t she be angry? She had every right. “I have no desire to fool you, Rhonda,” she said heatedly. “For your information, Hazel Duncan is living with a wonderful woman and they are raising a family together. There’s nothing between us.”
She studied the smirking disbelief in Rhonda’s face. “Look, just take me back to the cottage. I can see talking to you is a waste of time,” she said finally. “This is a perfect example of why we can’t maintain a relationship.”
“No,” Rhonda retorted. “We can’t have a relationship because you obviously don’t want one. With me anyway.”
She started the car and they drove back to Channel Haven in silence.
Contrition stung her heart as she bid Rh
onda a sad farewell. Knowing she would probably never see her again, she pensively took the ring from her wallet, handed it to her and kissed her cheek before getting out of the car. By that time the anger had almost dissipated, leaving only the sorrow that accompanies any failed relationship.
After Rhonda, stone-faced, pulled away from the Channel Haven parking lot, Nina immediately went toward the boat dock looking for Hazy. Not seeing her there, she walked across the landing to the small office. It was deserted.
Puzzled, as it was closing time for Hazy’s boat rental business and she should have been nearby, Nina agonized over trying to find her. She knew she should stay far from her but just couldn’t find it in herself to leave the anger simmering between them. Bravely, she crossed to Hazy’s cottage behind the office and tapped gently on the door. She knocked harder. Still no answer.
Feeling a sense of desolation and loss she’d never felt before, Nina eased the screen door shut and staggered across the drive to her cottage, her eyes full of burning tears.
Chapter 31
Early the next morning, after a mostly sleepless night, Hazy climbed into her Jeep and drove to Assateague Beach.
She needed to lick her wounds and thought Assateague might be the place to do it. Who knew, maybe she’d find an adorable bikini-clad twit to help her forget about Nina.
She’d watched as Nina kissed Rhonda the night before and that pretty much told her old Hazy was out and fancy Rhonda in, and she was having a hard time deciding whether she was more hurt than angry or more angry than hurt.
Shifting gears with furious carelessness and goosing the Jeep up to reckless speeds through Assateague’s quiet early morning peace, Hazy refused to be hurt by the woman’s duplicity. Why should she let a mere woman destroy the peace she’d finally acquired in her life?
Hazy had waited for her to come back the night before, waited to apologize again for the way she’d treated her. She had actually felt sorry for Nina, actually sympathized with the position Rhonda’s return left her in.
But she was wounded badly now, no denying it. She’d let down her guard too soon.
Well, she thought as she coasted a curve of road around the salt marsh, soon Nina would be safe in her little house with Rhonda and Hazy would never have to think of her again.
In fact, she had half a mind to go back and demand the money for the week’s rental, sorry she had stuffed it back into her bag.
Hazy drove directly onto the beach at the far southern end and turned off the engine.
She sat ruminating for quite some time until the beach became more populated. She observed the people, seeking some visible clue as to how they found their happiness. There seemed no easy answer. Some couples walked by that were very close, touching and smiling at every opportunity. Others walked by who, though obviously together, were light years apart.
Hazy knew she was an intelligent woman. She was a natural born scholar—of books, and of life. She knew how fragile a relationship could be, how it required nurturing and tender care in order to survive. And this did not frighten her anymore. Though she had denied it for some time, thanks to her new feelings for Nina, she knew she was actually capable of nurturing a relationship. She also knew that she had finally found the right partner.
Yet what she had long feared about being involved with someone—that sharp scissor of betrayal that seemed to hover—had happened once again. Nina had betrayed her too.
A woman caught her eye. She was younger, but not by much, not as young as Nina, and she was wearing a white thong bikini that showed much of her deeply tanned skin. She walked by and smiled invitingly at Hazy.
After she passed, Hazy knew the woman would turn to make sure Hazy was watching. She did. Hazy also knew she would be miffed if she wasn’t watching with appreciation. She was.
She could go after the woman and apologize for her disinterest and could probably charm her way into the woman’s arms but the effort seemed too great.
It seemed women were all the same. They needed the admiration of others to prove their worth. She’d thought Nina different.
Most women were interested in things she couldn’t relate to, gossip and hairstyles and such nonsense. Not Nina. She knew books and her sharp, well-rounded mind could hold Hazy’s interest easily.
Many women didn’t like the idea of getting dirty, afraid to muss their hair or break a fingernail. Not Nina. She had even gone on a daring late-night swim in the channel with her and Hazy found herself admiring that bold, independent spirit.
Should she try to win her from Rhonda? She chewed her bottom lip and rubbed callused palms along her sun-warmed arms. Was the prize worth the fight? She thought of the night they’d spent together, a night of special, beautiful passion. Her mind roamed to their late-night swim and the way they had connected there in the water.
Then she remembered the first day she’d seen Nina, almost stepping on her in her haste to gain the office. Her first thought had been about how cute the freckles were that peppered Nina’s pert nose and cheeks. Then Nina had giggled at her and she was on the way to being lost in love.
Tears filled her eyes but she made no move to wipe them away. And then there was Mama New and Heather. How could she explain all this to them? Uproot their lives? Would they understand this emotion that would take her away from them and have her with someone new? They certainly didn’t understand her unusual behavior during the past few days.
Other women passed by throughout the morning but Hazy took no interest. Her thoughts were branded with the memory of Nina and she knew she loved her helplessly. But loved her recklessly, as well, for Nina obviously wanted to belong to another.
Chapter 32
Although Nina was sure she was doing the right thing, it didn’t make her suffer any less.
In the morning, she woke and immediately thought of Hazy, aching to have her beside her, the heat of their bodies blending together.
She wondered occasionally who she was really saving—Mama New or herself? The feelings she carried for Hazy Duncan could easily consume, could take over her life. Maybe it was better to run now before she got any more involved and lost herself completely.
But the idea of being without Hazy was intolerable.
Life before Hazy—she had thought it full of meaning and vitality. Now she realized there had been only emptiness filled with duty to her parents and the happiness of the fictional lives portrayed in the books she read so avidly.
Facing that again was disheartening but she couldn’t see building a life together with Hazy either. They would always be at odds, especially with the memory of Mama New between them. We’d probably kill each other within the first week together anyway, she told herself. Both of them were stubborn and hot-tempered.
She smiled helplessly into the bathroom mirror as she prepared for her morning shower. Her eyes were red from lying awake most of the night and faint circles had taken residence just above her high cheekbones.
Surprisingly, breaking off her relationship with Rhonda had left her with little lingering pain. She supposed the time lapse between the betrayal and the present had served as a time of grief and healing.
Now she needed to get on with her life, forgetting Rhonda and Hazy.
One thing she was sure of, resolved the previous night as she lay awake in bed, she had to see and talk to Hazy again. She had to make things right between them. She couldn’t get on with her life with Hazy’s anger hanging over her.
Facing her would require a tremendous amount of courage, more than she felt she could summon, but somehow she would have to do it, would have to draw on every bit of strength she could muster.
And how she looked, her confidence level, would play a big part in this.
Nina dressed carefully in a full chambray skirt and a white lace blouse. Since she was also meeting Martha for lunch she decided to make herself look and feel as upbeat as possible.
She left her hair unbound and down though, because Hazy liked it that way and this served to
boost her confidence as well. Thus armed, she left her cottage and made her way to the rental office.
The small building was deserted but the sound of voices drew her to an open window set in the north wall. From her vantage point, Nina could see Mama New and Heather seated at a weathered picnic table on the far side of the dock.
The two were working earnestly, fashioning clothing for several naked dolls lined up side by side on the tabletop. Mama New was wielding the needle while Heather fitted the clothing on the dolls.
“Mama, this one just won’t go on Polly,” Heather said thoughtfully. “Did you sew it right?”
Mama New retreated with a hurt expression. “See here, little bit, I’ve been sewin’ doll clothes since before you were a thought in someone’s head. You try that one on her again. Polly’s probably been eatin’ too much spaghetti this week.”
Nina was about to make her presence known when Heather spoke again.
“Mama? Will your dress look like this one when you and Mema go to the church?” She held up a festive creation of frothy white lace.
“Lord gull, no,” Mama New answered with a deep chuckle. “There’s no way your Mama could wear something like that. My shape couldna handle anything with all that lace and ruffles. It would make it hard for me to fit through the door of the church, now wouldn’t it?”
Heather giggled, but Nina did not wait to hear her response. Silently she left the office and walked to her car.
Chapter 33
“Nina, I just don’t understand the change in you,” Martha said as she lifted the cherry from atop her mixed drink. “A month ago, you were a bubbly, talkative person. These days you’re an out-and-out bore. What is the matter?” She delicately devoured the cherry and watched Nina expectantly.
