Broken

by Robin Nadler

  “They belonged to an old boyfriend, but whatever.” She turned and went to walk away when she got dizzy and almost fell down. He caught her and she plopped on his lap.

  “Hey, what is it? Are you okay?” he asked, concern all over his face.

  She moved off of him quickly and nodded. “I’m fine, excuse me,” she ran to he bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach. She wasn’t okay, not by a long shot. She sat on the floor; her back against the wall and she put her head in her hands.

  “Lila? Can I get you anything?” David walked into the bathroom and sat down next to her.

  “I’m okay,” she whispered through her closed eyes.

  “I beg to differ. You’ve helped me, why don’t you let me help you?”

  She looked at him and smiled sadly. “I wish there was something you could do. I’m afraid there is no help for me.”

  He brushed her hair behind her ear, an intimate gesture that he didn’t hesitate to do, and one she found endearing. “Maybe I’ll surprise you.”

  She looked at him. “Can you leave? I really don’t want to throw up in front of you.”

  He sighed. “I don’t mind.”

  “But I do. Please give me some privacy,” she said tearfully.

  He nodded and made his way out of the bathroom, but waited close by. He was worried and he knew she wasn’t telling him everything. He was glad his eyes were feeling better and he went to get her some water when he heard a crash. He ran back to the bathroom and saw her passed out on the floor.

  Chapter Eight:

  “Shit, Lila? Are you okay?” he stumbled to her, his eyes still fuzzy and his face full of soap. He turned her onto her back and checked for a pulse, feeling it strong and steady. He stroked her cheek and she began to come around.

  “What happened?” she looked up into his bloodshot eyes. She realized quickly they were on the floor in her bathroom and went to sit up.

  “Hey, slow down, wait a minute,” he said as he moved to help her sit up.

  “I’m fine, please go wait in the other room,” she said, beads of sweat on her forehead.

  “I’m not leaving you. Something isn’t right and I’m worried,” he took her hand in his and held it.

  They both looked at their hands, which were together and Lila pulled her hand away. Please go,” she repeated quietly.

  “Whatever,” he grumbled and walked out. He sighed as she closed the door and he walked into the family room. He had to take a shower and he wanted to just go home, but he was worried about her. This day was just ridiculous.

  She walked out after a minute and looked at him. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I put some towels in the bathroom in the guestroom if you want to go take a shower. I’m sure your face is bothering you. I’ll grab your bag out of the trunk if you want and put it in the guest room.”

  “Lila, are you okay? You fainted.”

  She waved it off. “I’m fine. Wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last. I would really just like to forget about it right now, okay? Do you want your clothes or not?”

  “Sure, thanks,” he noticed she wouldn’t meet his gaze, so he just went into the bathroom.

  She heard the shower turn on and let her tears fall. She was humiliated and exhausted and she felt terrible for having sprayed him. He was a world-renowned fertility expert and she had almost single handedly destroyed him in one day. She grabbed his keys and went to get his bag, bringing it in and leaving it on the bed. She didn’t know if he was going to stay, but either way, he could change in private. She needed to get her car as well, but that would have to wait. She went into her bedroom and changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top and went into the family room to wait for him to leave.

  ******

  David let the water wash over him and he felt so much better. It was incredibly lucky she was there to get him milk instead of water, which he would have probably used, but then again, if she weren’t there, he wouldn’t have been sprayed in the face.

  He couldn’t blame her, really. She was sitting in her car at night and he had just opened the door, scaring her. He was lucky she didn’t do anything worse. He washed his hair with her shampoo and the fruity smell reminded him of her. Something wasn’t right and he needed to help her. He knew she had MS, but he had no idea if her condition was under control. He finished the shower and dried off before wrapping the towel she left around his waist. He took another towel and dried his hair before he looked into the mirror and was pleased to see his eyes were clearer and the skin not as red. He opened the door and walked into the room, seeing his bag on the bed and he closed the door and pulled on his sweat pants and a t-shirt.

  David walked out and saw her on the couch, sound asleep. He saw it was after midnight, so he gently gathered her in his arms and took her into her bedroom and placed her on the bed, pulling the covers over her. She remained asleep and he watched her for a few minutes, noticing again how absolutely beautiful she was and how drawn to her he felt. He shook his head and got up, making his way to the couch and deciding to crash for the night.

  ******

  It was the middle of the night and Lila woke up with the shakes. She wondered if her blood sugar was low, or if her body was just struggling to fight an exacerbation. She sat up and realized she was in her bed, but she didn’t remember getting there. Everything rushed back to her and she groaned as her embarrassment flooded through her mind. He must have left and she was grateful for that. She decided to go into the kitchen and just get some juice and go back to bed. Walking into the family room, she felt dizzy and sat down quickly on the couch.

  “Ow,” there was a cry.

  “Aargh,” Lila screamed in fear and fell back onto the floor.

  “Lila? It’s David,” he said and reached to turn the light on. “Did I hurt you?” He was concerned that she had fallen back.

  She held her hand over her chest, trying to calm her breathing. “I’m okay, you just surprised me.”

  “I’m sorry, is it okay that I stayed?”

  She smiled. “Of course. I was just confused. I’m sorry.”

  He sat up and ran his hand through his hair. “Can you come sit here for a minute?”

  She stood up on shaky legs and sat down next to him.

  “You look like you feel terrible. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

  “I don’t know. I’m just not feeling right. I’ll be fine.”

  “Why do you keep doing that?”

  She looked at him. “Doing what?”

  “Trying to make it less than it is? What’s wrong with saying you feel like shit? Why hide it?”

  She chuckled. “I wish it were that simple. I don’t have the luxury of acting so cavalier about my health. Every ache I feel, every time I have any kind of issue, I worry that it’s the start of something else. I get so scared and I can’t let myself go there,” she put her head in her hands and cried.

  He felt a need to fix this, to make it better, but he was at a loss. He moved closer and pulled her into his arms, not thinking, just acting on what he felt as a human being. That’s all this was. He was comforting a colleague.

  Lila hadn’t been held in so long. He was strong and comforting and she felt something, something foreign to her. She felt safe. This wasn’t real and this was silly. She knew better and she needed to protect herself.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lean on you,” she wiped her eyes. “You can go if you want.”

  He sighed and wiped his eyes, which were still a bit sore. “It’s 3 am, do you want me to leave?”

  “No, but this is weird.”

  He laughed. “Weird? I suppose that’s true.”

  She smiled. “Are you hungry?”

  He sat back and smiled. “I could eat.”

  “I have some frozen pizza I could heat up.”

  “Sounds great.”

  Lila smiled and went to put the put the food in the oven. She grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and walked back into the room where he ha
d turned more lights on.

  “It should be ready in 20 minutes. How are your eyes? I’m really sorry.”

  He took the beer and took a long sip. “They’re fine, no worse for wear.”

  She took a sip and tucked her legs under her as she sat down across from him. “So you know so much about me, but I hardly know anything about you.”

  “There isn’t much to know. I’m a doctor and I’m the best.”

  She smiled. “So you keep saying.”

  “Hey, if I’m not my biggest fan, I can’t expect anyone else to be.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Good point. But what about you outside of your profession? Who is David?”

  His brown eyes bore into her and she felt exposed. “He isn’t anyone.”

  She was stunned. “That’s simply not true.” How could this man who was so accomplished be so self-deprecating?

  “You don’t know that,” he said, drinking the rest of his beer quickly. He wanted her to stop poking into his personal life.

  “What’s wrong?” She pressed him. “Why are you uncomfortable?”

  He put the beer down and exhaled. “I’m not uncomfortable, I’m just not that interesting.”

  “I see. So then tell me something, why was your office so afraid I was trying to hurt you? What happened to you before?”

  He stood up and looked at the door. “I need some air. I can’t do this,” he didn’t look at her, he just walked out.

  Chapter Nine:

  David paced outside her house, sweating and having an anxiety attack. This was ridiculous. Who was this woman and why was she getting to him? He knew why, and it irritated him. He liked her and he didn’t ‘like’ anyone. Worse than that, was the fact that she didn’t fall all over him and that bothered him. But most of all, he was afraid, and that was bringing on this anxiety attack. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t tell her what happened to him. He needed to leave.

  “Here is your bag and your keys,” Lila said from the porch. She put the bag down and held his keys out to him. “I figured you were trying to figure out how to get your things without having to talk to me, so I’m just making it easier.”

  He was stunned and then a little angry. “Excuse me?”

  She shrugged and placed his keys on his bag when he didn’t take them. “What? I thought I was being nice. I don’t need an explanation. I’ll figure out how to get my car in the morning. I am just trying to end your misery. It’s almost 4 in the morning, so have a good night,” she turned so he wouldn’t see her tears.

  He forgot his anxiety for a minute and walked to her, taking her gently by the arm and stopping her. “You’re a piece of work.”

  She yanked her arm back and looked up into his eyes, trying to hide her pain, but knowing, somehow, he could see everything. “Can you just go? I don’t need you to say anything. I’ve had this conversation enough before.”

  “What conversation?” He was thoroughly confused. What was she so sure he was thinking?

  “You can’t be serious. Do you get some kick out of making me say it out loud? Fine. You’re a nice person, Lila, but your MS makes me incredibly uncomfortable, so I would just like to go now,” she said and her tears spilled over her cheeks. “Please let me go back inside now,” she whispered.

  He felt his heart ache at her words, and how far from the truth she was. “Not everything is about you,” he said softly.

  She smirked. “I know that, but you ran out here while we were talking and then you were just pacing and I figured you didn’t want to come back in.” She crossed her arms in front of her. “It’s really fine. You honestly don’t need to give me an explanation.”

  “Can you stop talking for a minute?” He asked her with a note of irritation.

  She sighed and sat down on the porch step.

  He sat next to her and looked at his hands. “I was having a panic attack. I don’t have panic attacks and that made me even more anxious. I don’t like how you make me feel,” he stopped when he realized how that sounded.

  “Thanks,” she said sarcastically.

  “Stop it. That’s not what I meant. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I feel like I owe you an explanation and I don’t owe people things. But it’s more than that; I want to give you an explanation. I want you to like me and you don’t. I don’t like how that makes me feel.”

  She turned and faced him, her face softening. “I like you. I like you very much.”

  His face lit up. “You do? Then I’d hate to see how you would act if you didn’t like me,” he smiled.

  “Nice,” she said with a tiny smile.

  “I’m just saying,” he grinned. “Can I tell you something and have you not question it?”

  She raised her eyebrows. “That depends. If you tell me you murdered someone, it’s my duty to report you,” she grinned.

  “No worries there, and one trip to the Police station a day is fine. What I was going to say is that I am well aware you have MS, and that would never be a reason why I would leave. I am an educated man, Lila, and although I can’t begin to understand what you have to deal with, the only thing I feel is admiration. I am honored to know you.”

  She stared at him. “Wow, thank you for that. I guess I’m just used to my MS being the hurdle no man has been able to get over. I understand that, but it’s just hard not to become jaded.”

  He smiled. “I get that, but can you just understand that my issues, my hesitation, it has nothing to do with your health.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry I assumed the worst,” she sighed. “So I’ll see you around?”

  “I would like to come inside and have that pizza, and maybe talk some more, if that’s okay,” he said.

  “That would be nice. Come on,” she stood up and smiled at him as they walked inside.

  David went to clean up in the bathroom while Lila put the pizza on the table and grabbed a couple more beers. She brought things to the dining room table and turned some more lights on. She looked up as he walked in.

  “Smells great,” he said as he sat down.

  “It’s just a frozen pizza. I can work the stove like no one else,” she smiled and sat down with him.

  “Well after the day we’ve both had, I’m starved. I don’t think we ate all day,” he took a bite of the pizza.

  “I know. I think that’s why I was feeling a little off. I need to take better care of myself and I know that,” she said as she ate.

  “Are you sure that’s it? I don’t want to pry, but you did pass out earlier. I think you should get checked out tomorrow.”

  “I’m okay, but thanks.”

  They ate in silence and David noticed a fish tank in the corner of the room, but there was no water.

  “Do you have a pet?”

  Lila smiled. “I do, two actually. Come see,” she got up and walked to the tank, turning the light on. “This is Adam and Eve.”

  David looked at the lizards and then at her. “Seriously?”

  She smiled, “Don’t be scared, they are really friendly. They are bearded dragons.”

  “I’m not scared, it’s just unusual for a woman to have reptiles as pets,” he stood back and eyed the creatures.

  “I’ve never been accused of being normal,” she smiled. “When we’re done eating, you can hold them if you’d like.”

  He didn’t think that would be happening. “Um, maybe.”

  She laughed. “Or not.”

  He grinned and they walked back to the table. “So you’re not an animal person?” Lila asked as they sat back down.

  “I love animals. Those aren’t animals, they’re creatures.”

  She laughed. “Right.”

  He grinned. “Are you making fun of me?”

  “Maybe,” she said and took a long sip of her beer, sitting back and raising her eyebrows. “What are you going to do about it?”

  He loved how her face lit up when she smiled. Even at 4 am, after everything they had been through, without a stitch of makeup on, she was the mos
t beautiful woman he had ever seen. “I am going to reserve payback for a later date.”

  She laughed. “Is that so?”

  “That’s my prerogative,” he said and ate more pizza.

  She watched him and tried to figure him out. He smiled at her while he ate and his dimple ase almost her undoing. Why was he affecting her so much? His face showed a nice stubble and lips were full and sexy. She imagined what they would feel like on hers.