Broken

by Robin Nadler

  “Pleasantness?” He rolled his eyes. “I’ll go feed your lizards. You stay put.”

  “They aren’t lizards, they are bearded dragons, and you wouldn’t even go near them when you came over. How are you going to feed them?”

  “Lila, I am very capable of taking care of 2 liz, Bearded Dragons. You need to stay put and I’ll do it. Just write down what I need to do.”

  “They are very important to me,” she said softly.

  “I get that. You can trust me.”

  She stared at him for another minute and then nodded. “Okay. They need some Kale and Collard Greens, which are already cut up in a bag in the fridge. They need fresh water in the tub,” he stopped her.

  “What tub?”

  “There is a little tub in the tank that needs to be filled.”

  “They are from the desert, why do they need water?”

  “Eve is going through a peel and she needs to soak to help loosen her skin.”

  “Right. So vegetables and water. Is that it?”

  “No. They need crickets, too. You need to put in at least 30 crickets.”

  David stared at her. “Crickets?”

  “Yes, for protein. I have a little cricket house in the cupboard under the tank. Just open it up and shake one of the little pieces of cardboard into the tank.”

  David took a deep breath. “Okay. Where are your keys?”

  “There is one more thing.”

  He glanced at her. “What else?”

  “Adam is recovering from some digestion issues. He needs a belly rub before he can eat. It helps to get things moving,” she looked at his face.

  “I have to touch him?”

  She smiled. “He is really sweet.”

  “Okay, I got it. I’ll call you if I have any trouble.”

  She nodded. “David,”

  He turned and waited for more instruction.

  “Thank you.”

  He nodded and took her keys before leaving.

  ******

  How hard could this be? David pulled into her driveway and got out, making his way up to the door and using the key. He locked the door behind him and sighed. He didn’t like reptiles. He didn’t know if this was the dumbest thing he did or the most romantic. She likes her lizards and he likes her, so it is what it is. He walked into the family room and made his way up to the tank. He could do this. He was a man and men weren’t afraid of lizards.

  What to do first? He had to massage one of them. Which one? Which one was the boy? How could he tell? He picked up his phone and dialed.

  “What’s wrong?” her voice came through the line and warmed his whole body.

  “Nothing. How do I know which is which?”

  “Adam is red and Eve is more of a yellow tan color.”

  “Okay, got it.”

  “Tell them I love them,” Lila said.

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m hanging up now.”

  He moved the top of the tank, being careful to leave the lights in place. He reached his hand to the red lizard and picked him up. He walked to the couch and sat down, the creature on his leg. “So, Mr. Adam. I need to massage your belly.” He spoke to the thing and it stuck its tongue out, causing David to scream like a girl and jump up, the lizard falling to the floor.

  “Shit,” he said as he grabbed Adam. He rubbed the belly a few times and put him back into the tank. “That will have to be good enough.”

  He reached in and pulled out the dirty paper, taking it to the garbage like she told him. He grabbed some clean paper and put it in the tank before he went to take the small tub out to change the water. The other lizard was sitting in the water.

  “Excuse me, but I need to change the bathwater,” he said. “Move out.” He waited and the lizard made no move to do anything. He looked at Adam. “Tell her to move.” He sighed. “You are both useless.” He figured he would just add water and leave it at that. He went and got the vegetables from the fridge and put a handful inside. He then opened the cabinet and saw the cricket house. “You have got to be kidding me,” he said and picked up the box. He stood up and opened the lid, feeling squeamish as he reached in and took a piece of cardboard covered with the little jumping things and tossed it into the cage. Both Adam and Eve lunged at it and David jumped back, almost dumping the cricket box all over the floor.

  “Shit,” he swore again and covered the crickets, putting them back and closing the top of the tank. He looked down as his phone buzzed.

  “Hello?”

  “Are you doing okay?”

  He thought he felt a cricket on him and he shimmied over to the couch, smacking his shirt. “I’m fine. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I just wondered if Eve looked like she had any eggs,” Lila said.

  His eyebrows were raised. “What? How am I supposed to know if she has eggs?”

  “Well Adam has been having some trouble copulating and the only way I know if he has any success is if Eve lays her eggs. I was just wondering if she seemed to be carrying.”

  “Is this a joke? Am I on Candid Camera?” He asked no one.

  “Never mind. Just make sure you lock the door when you leave,” she hung up.

  David looked at the phone and sighed. “Fabulous.”

  He finished up and locked the door, making his way back to the hospital. This was not him. What was he doing? He changed his mind and drove home. He didn’t need this aggravation. He pulled into his own driveway and sighed, this was simply not something he wanted to deal with. His phone rang and he answered.

  “Hello?”

  ”Are you coming back?”

  His heart melted and he cursed his body. “I didn’t think you wanted me to come back.”

  “Oh, well you don’t have to,” she sounded upset.

  “Is everything okay?” He was so in trouble.

  “I just talked to the doctor and I thought maybe you could help me figure some things out, but now that I’m talking to you, I realize all you have done for me, and I don’t mean to bother you. I’m sorry. Have a good night.” She hung up.

  David didn’t think about it, he just drove to the hospital.

  Chapter Thirteen:

  Lila stood at the window of the hospital room, looking out across the darkness. She cursed her tears as she wiped them away and then ran her hand through her long hair. She knew she should be in bed, but she was hot and tired and anxious. She could call Carrie, but she didn’t want to have to reassure her friend when she herself wasn’t sure everything would be okay. She thought of David and her eyes filled again. If only things had been different. She was in no position to offer him anything and she needed to be honest about that.

  The problem was that she found herself truly enjoying his company. He seemed to genuinely like her as well, and he knew it all. She had nothing to hide or reveal and as liberating as that was; it was terrifying at the same time. She always had an exit strategy, and with David, she had nothing. She was desperately trying to gain perspective, but it just wasn’t coming.

  *******

  David stood at the door of her room and saw her standing at the window, her back to him. Her gown barely covered her thighs. He felt warm all over, a feeling he seemed to get in her presence. Her long hair fell to her back, below her shoulders and to him, she was simply beautiful.

  He cleared his throat and knocked lightly on the door. “Hey,” he smiled as she turned around.

  She was shocked to see him. “David? Why did you come back?”

  “You sounded like you needed to talk, so I came. Is that okay?”

  She wanted to run over and hug him, but she simply nodded. “That’s really nice of you.”

  He walked into the room and she went to sit in the bed, pulling the IV with her. “Sit down,” she motioned to the chair and he sat. “Did everything go okay at my house?”

  “Everything is in order,” he said.

  She grinned. “I see.”

  “Adam licked me; I felt that was inappropriate.”

&nbs
p; She laughed. “It’s how they smell. It’s like a dog sniffing you. I hope you weren’t too freaked out. He is recovering from a sprained foot; so any jostling can be really bad for him. He is tentative and licks a lot to be sure he is safe. He has had a rough life.”

  David thought of how he flung Adam off his lap when he got scared. He didn’t appear to be hurt. “I think he’s fine,” David said very quietly.

  “Well I really appreciate you helping me out. I rescued both of them from a really bad situation where they were mistreated and it has taken a lot to bring them around. If they breed, it will be a huge success.”

  David was uncomfortable talking about the lizards. “Can I ask you what the doctor said?”

  She looked at him and her eyes filled again. He moved closer and handed her a tissue. She wiped her eyes and smiled. “I don’t know why I’m so emotional, I’m never like this.”

  He grinned. “I make all the girls cry.”

  She laughed. “Is that right?”

  “So I’ve been told,” he was happy to see her smile.

  She took a deep breath. “My last MRI showed numerous new enhancing lesions. I have been on a specific med for the past six years and when I started it, I had a really hard time adjusting to the side effects. I’m concerned about changing that and I’m scared my disease is progressing.”

  He waited, but she didn’t say anything. “So this new medication will help, won’t it?”

  She exhaled. “It’s possible, but I don’t know that I want to start over. I really suffered last time, more than anyone expected. I just don’t know if I want to go through that again, or if I can.”

  “What are your other options?”

  “I can stay on my current meds or stop all meds and just let what happens, happen.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I could be facing a progressive course of this disease.”

  David stared at her. “You have to try the new medication.”

  “Maybe I just need to give myself a chance.”

  He sat back and exhaled. “Because you’re afraid? You never struck me as someone who was afraid of anything.”

  She glared at him, unhappy that he struck a chord. “Maybe it’s braver to just let things happen as they will.”

  He laughed. “We’re doctors, Lila. We don’t just let things happen as they will.”

  She knew he was right, but she couldn’t imagine going through such a miserable time again. “I’ll have to check into a rehab center for a few weeks.”

  “It was that bad?” He asked her, feeling his heart twist at what she had to go through.

  “It was bad, but I’ll manage,” she was closing herself off from him and they both knew it. “You should go home and get some rest. I’ll be fine.”

  He sighed. “Okay. You can call me if you need me.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  He walked out, feeling like dirt and not knowing why.

  *******

  The next morning, Lila checked herself out of the hospital with her new meds and strict instructions on how to begin her new therapy. Her pancreatitis was almost gone, but dizziness wasn’t improving. She took a cab home and slowly walked into her house, locking her door and leaning against it.

  “Okay, time to grow up,” she said to herself. “The pity party ends now.” She walked into her bedroom and put her meds down before she stripped her clothes off and walked into the shower.

  *******

  David was furious. He walked back to his car after going to the hospital to visit Lila. He couldn’t believe she had checked herself out. What was she thinking? Was she even going to try and get better? He drove to her house, livid and scared and he realized that this woman simply mattered to him. He pulled up to her house and went to the front door, knocking.

  “Lila? Can you open the door?” He waited and heard nothing. Images of her lifeless body on the floor ran through his mind. He felt a small sweat break out over his brow. “Shit, Lila?” He pounded on the door.

  He pulled her key out of his pocket from last night and against his better judgment, he opened the door. “Lila?” He called out and again, heard nothing. He walked into the house and saw her bags on the floor by the door. There were no lights on in the house and he felt his heart race with fear.

  “Lila?” He raced through the house and made his way to the bedroom, bursting through the door and hearing a deafening scream before something warm and wet flew in his face.

  “David? What the hell is wrong with you? You scared the shit out of me,” Lila sat down on the bed, holding a towel to her naked form and staring at the doctor who sat on the floor, covered with her freshly made mud mask.

  He was glad the heat from the water masked his embarrassment at what he had done. He wiped his eyes and looked at her, realizing she was naked, a tiny towel covering her torso. “Do you always throw things at people?”

  “You’re lucky I don’t have a gun.” She reached out her hand and helped him up. “What were you thinking? You can’t just barge into someone’s home.”

  He blinked through the mud and saw his hands and shirt were covered with the rapidly hardening mixture. “I went to the hospital to return your key and found out you checked yourself out. I was worried that you shouldn’t be alone so I came to check on you and you didn’t answer. I thought you might be in trouble.” He realized he had overreacted.

  She narrowed her eyes at him and shivered, “Are you some kind of psycho?”

  He laughed, and saw her serious expression. “No. I’m not a psycho.”

  “You burst on me in my car, and now my home? How do I know I shouldn’t call the police? Maybe you are going to attack me.”

  He snorted. “Like I would attack someone like you,” he said and saw her hurt expression. He put up his hands. “No, oh God Lila, I didn’t mean it like that.”

  She felt her eyes fill with tears. “It’s okay, you’re right.”

  He took her hand in his. “Lila, stop. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant that you seem to be someone perfectly capable of protecting yourself. In the short time I have known you, you have pepper sprayed me, kicked me and thrown some sort of mud on me, not to mention your strange choice of pets. I didn’t mean anything else, I promise.”

  She shrugged and pulled her hand back. “It’s fine. I need to get dressed.”

  He was quiet and she looked at him. “Do you mind?”

  “I need to get this off of my face. What’s in it?”

  “Um lavender and honey extract with some other natural ingredients.”

  “I’m allergic to honey. I need to get it off, now,” he said and wiped at his face.

  “Okay, relax, go into my shower.” She said, pushing him to the bathroom.

  “It’s solid on my face. It’s hardening my skin,” he whined.

  “It’s a mud mask, David. That’s what they do. Now go wash it off and you’ll be fine,” she said, trying not to laugh at him.

  He walked into the bathroom and jumped into the shower, rubbing everything off of his face and grabbing the soap to wash his skin. He felt better immediately until he realized he had jumped into the shower fully clothed.

  “Fuck,” he said aloud.

  “Do you need any help?” she asked from outside the door.

  “No, I’m fine,” he said, trying to figure out what to do. He had no choice; he had to strip his clothes off. He finished washing himself off and turned off the water. He looked for something to use to cover himself, but he only found one towel. He towel dried his hair and then wrapped it around his waist, grabbing his clothes in a pile and swallowing his pride.

  “Can I use your dryer for a few minutes?”

  Lila turned to him and was speechless. He was dripping wet, a towel slung low on his hips. “Um, sure.”

  He blushed, “You don’t happen to have any men’s clothes, do you?”

  “Um, well actually, hold on,” she jumped up and ran out of the room. David stood there, dripping, humili
ated, and finally she came back in.

  “I bought this for my mentor’s birthday. I won’t see him for a few weeks, so I have time to get something else.” She handed it to him and smiled. “Give me your clothes and I’ll put them in the dryer.

  He nodded and handed her his clothes, watching her walk out. He took the bag she handed him and pulled out the contents. It was a pair of Bermuda shorts and a ridiculous t-shirt. He rolled his eyes and pulled on the outfit when a thought occurred to him. “Lila?” He ran out to her.