The Mechanics of Being Human

by S. E. Campbell

  "M, Mom?" Fawn whispered.

  Gavin trembled when he saw her and stepped forward to hug her. He must have thought better of it because he lowered his arms.

  "Fawn, it's Zelda. The man who was after you took her. He left an envelope in front of your door with your name on it,” Gavin said. “I wasn't paying attention and stepped on it and the note came out. When I opened it..."

  In horror, she gasped. This was all her fault. Zelda had been taken because of her. That was why Ark showed up at her apartment but did not come upstairs. He'd had something else besides attacking head on in mind. He'd planned to hurt her new friends.

  "Can I see the note?" Fawn whispered.

  With a nod, Gavin passed the piece of paper to her.

  Come to Fosters Hill Park at two o'clock AM. Come alone. Your friend will be there. I will trade her for you.

  Every part of her ached. No way was she going to let Zelda remain with a man like that. He could kill her. She would go to Ark, no matter what it meant. Her determination was matched only by her boiling blood.

  "I'm going." Fawn lowered the note to the table. "I dragged you and your friends into my mess. If I just listened to my parents and told no one, then this wouldn't have happened. Now Ark has Zelda and I…and I…"

  "This is our fault as much as yours," her dad said. "There are so many things we could have done differently when it came to you. We're going to help you too. Jax is going to want in on this. I know he won't stand for another person hurting somebody he loves."

  Fawn imagined Ark murdering both of her parents and Jax. Their corpses lay, bloodied, on the grass as she was forced to watch. She shook her head as her stomach ached, trying to make the image fall from her head so she would never have to see it again.

  "But the letter says to go alone." Fawn's jaw tightened. "I think we all know you have more to lose than I do."

  "I'm not going to let you get hurt," her mom said.

  Fawn opened her mouth to speak, but her dad cut her off. "Even if you don't want us to help because we love you, at least let us help so those men don't find out how to make an army of drones. That's exactly what they want."

  She imagined the horrors of what her dad spoke of. Blank-faced figures—all identical in appearance to her—spanned a field. They were everywhere. She didn't have trouble believing an evil group of men would want their soldiers unfeeling. They would create cold monsters, not what Jax wanted. The idea was crushing. Finally, she nodded.

  "And me too." Gavin's fists clenched. "She's my friend, and Fawn…"

  Fawn glanced up at him.

  "I don't know what's going on with us lately. Your parents told me you needed space, which I understand, but…" Gavin bit his bottom lip, then cried, "I like you. I'll always like you. I don't want to let you get hurt."

  "No, Gavin." Her dad frowned at him. "We're adults. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but this is for us to handle."

  "I care about her just as much as you do." Gavin glowered, hands clenched at his sides. "I should be able to help. Right, Fawn?"

  The words touched her, but her heart ached at the same time. He didn't know who she was. And even if it made her feel as though she was about to fall into thousands of tiny little pieces where she stood, she wanted to tell him the truth. It would drive him away from her for good. That would kill her inside and out, but if it kept him from getting involved with dangerous people, then so be it.

  Fawn looked at her parents. "I want to tell him. I think it's for the best. I don't think he'll tell anyone."

  "Tell me what?" Blue eyes widened as Gavin glanced from face to face, question unanswered.

  Her dad's eyes softened. "Are you sure? You know what will happen."

  "I know." Fawn faced Gavin. "Gavin, let's go to my bedroom. To talk."

  With an uncertain expression, Gavin nodded.

  ****

  In the quiet, enclosed space of her room, Fawn felt the immense pull of attraction to Gavin. It was so intense she was frightened of it. What kind of chip did Jax created so that she could feel such a pull The fact he'd planned it, given her attraction when she could never fully have a relationship with another person, made her want to beat him up all over again. But that didn't matter. What mattered was it was her and Gavin now.

  Shakily, Fawn shut her eyes and inhaled Gavin's smell one last time. He wore that same old cologne, but this time he added something new. Woodsy. When she opened her eyes, she gazed into his blue irises and wished that instead of being torn apart, she could just fall into his eyes and drown. That at least would allow her some sort of happy ending.

  "Fawn?" Gavin whispered, his eyes wide with concern. "What is it you have to tell me?"

  "Before I say anything, can I do something?" Fawn asked.

  Gavin nodded.

  Though Fawn knew it was wrong, she wanted to kiss Gavin just one more time. She wanted to feel his lips on her own. Maybe it wouldn't be the same as before with what she knew, but she wanted it.

  Fawn stepped forward, wrapped her hands around Gavin's neck, then tangled her fingers in his wild golden head of hair. The strands were silky beneath her fingers. She tilted her head and pressed her lips to his. He sighed against her, then pulled her so close they were chest to chest. His sweet breath permeated her nostrils. It was sweet, like the pies her mom sometimes baked. The old electricity was back, vibrating through her and filling her up like warmed oil. Her skull tingled. She wanted to stay entangled in Gavin for forever.

  Zelda's wide-eyed face filled her mind. A dark shadow hovered behind her. It was Ark. "Help me! Help me, please!" imaginary Zelda screamed. Fawn gasped against Gavin's lips, then pulled away from him. He still held her hands in his own. His blue eyes stormed with concern, a sky being covered with clouds. It's over now. All over. I have to tell him, and I know he'll leave because who would stay?

  Telling Gavin was so hard it was like trying to give birth to a baby out of her mouth. She choked on her own words several times before she finally sputtered, "I, I'm a robot, Gavin. I'm not a human. I'm the invention Jax made."

  He stared at her. "What? That's not funny. Zelda is hurt. This isn't the time to tell jokes."

  "No. Gavin, I'm telling the truth." Fawn bit her bottom lip. She should have known it would be hard for him to believe. "I'm an invention. I'm Jax's invention. He made me."

  Gavin shook his head violently, his mouth hanging open. "That's impossible. Our technology isn't that advanced. And you're…you're…you, Fawn."

  "Yeah, well, me isn't exactly what I thought." Fawn gave a cold laugh. "That's why you can't come with us today. You don't know what you're up against. I'll rescue Zelda. Don't you worry."

  "I don't believe you," Gavin said defiantly. "Tell me what this is really about. You're hiding something else, aren't you? Did somebody do something to you?"

  With a shudder, she caught sight of her own image in the mirror hanging above her bed. Her pale face, green eyes, and blonde hair reflected back at her. So human. So real. It was hard to believe Jax had been able to manufacture such a face and even added some human flaws—a mole over her right brow, lips too big for her small face, and ears that stuck out just a little too much. She knew there was one way to show Gavin what she was and prove her words to him. She'd seen Jax re-fix the flesh on her hand just by pressing it together. It would be just as easy for her to rip at her own skin, then re-apply it like the world's sickest makeup.

  "Gavin, I'm telling the truth," Fawn whispered.

  She reached up and dug her fingernails into the upper right hand side of her face. Pain shot through her and she almost cried out as she tore her skin away halfway down the middle. The left side of her face was human, the right side robot. Her skin dangled where her chin met neck. Despite the way her face felt as though it was on fire, being without flesh was natural.

  She turned her gaze on Gavin, shivering. He yelled in fear and tripped on his own feet. As he sat on the floor, he stared up at her in wide-eyed horror. At that moment, he c
ould have been looking at a mutant sea monster with how his face contorted. Though she'd predicted this, it still hurt to see his once kind eyes now gazing at her with disgust.

  "Gavin," she said. It felt odd to speak with the right side of her face changed.

  When she reached for him, he smacked her hand away. He leapt to his feet, shaking. After a minute of deep breathing and relentless shaking, he swore and then sprinted toward the door, disappearing from her sight. One of her parents must have made a grab for him, because Gavin yelled, "Don't touch me!" The front door banged shut.

  For a second she didn’t move. Gavin reacted just as she thought he would, but a big part of her hoped he would be different. She was angry at Jax for giving her the ability to feel hope. Hope could be wonderful, but it could kill too. If it wasn't for hope, then she wouldn't feel like she'd been crushed beneath a car right now.

  Shuddering, she looked into the mirror, seeking out her own monstrous reflection. A distant face stared back at her, so different from what she'd seen moments before. The torn away flesh revealed a silver metal mask. Her mouth was metal and chunky, which explained why her lips appeared to be so big. A bulging, staring eye with fake eyelashes stared out at her, the only part of her that remained human. The skin flap hung low enough to reveal a rounded chin.

  She was so repulsed by what she saw she let out a cry of disgust. It was no question why Gavin fled from her. She wanted to run from herself too, but she couldn't. She was who she was. The idea made her so angry she drew back her hand and shattered the glass mirror. The shards fell to the ground into thousands of miniscule pieces, but unfortunately, that only made her plight worse. Now she could see thousands of versions of herself, glaring up at her, revealing the part of her that she so much wanted to hide.

  When Fawn fell to her knees and cried out, her mom and dad burst into the room. She gazed up at them and both stilled. She could see the horror on their faces too. Unlike Gavin, her mom gulped and didn't run away. She held out her arms to her, beckoning her into them. Though she knew she should not have sought out comfort because it would only give her a reason to remain, she leapt to her feet and lunged into her mom's arms.

  "I'm a monster. A monster." Fawn cried. "Look at my face. What has Jax done? Why did he make me?"

  "You aren't a monster, Fawn." Her mom gently ran her hands through her hair. "Give it time, baby. He'll come back. He was just shocked, just like you were."

  "He won't come back to me." Fawn buried her face in her mom's shoulder, and though her metal face mask met flesh, her mom didn't flinch away. "I wouldn't."

  Chapter Seventeen

  Fawn sat at the kitchen table with Jax lingering in front of her, his face pale. He gently pressed his fingers to the fake flesh beneath her hairline, running his nails over it to make sure it was correctly placed. After a moment, he drew his hand away. He placed the flat tool he'd been using to realign her skin into the backpack he'd brought with him to the apartment, then glanced at her parents who lingered behind him

  "You did a number on yourself," Jax muttered. "You're lucky the skin is so pliable. That could have taken weeks of repairs."

  Fawn didn't say anything. A part of her wanted to snap, "After I rescue Zelda, there won't be a week left before you destroy me." The other half of her, the part that had been rekindled after her mom hugged her even with her inner monster exposed, didn't want to leave anymore. She still wasn't sure. It was like she was being torn in two. She knew it was horrible, but she was almost grateful she needed to worry about Zelda. It would be a distraction from the horrors which engulfed her life.

  Jax was the first person to bring it up. "So tonight we have to save your friend. I have a plan, a plan that will get rid of Ark for good. I came up with it when I was gathering my tools to fix your face. I've brought everything we need."

  Even after what Ark had done, she didn't want to kill anyone. That was what it sounded like Jax intended for her. "You're going to kill Ark? No. I just want Zelda back."

  "I'm not going to kill anyone." Jax's eyes were dark. "I would love to slaughter that man, but I'm not going to steal your innocence away from you. I've already done enough damage. Unintended damage, but it's still there."

  An idea that would remove Ark from her life for good and save Zelda? Fawn tried to fathom it, but she couldn't. It sounded too good to be true.

  "I don't understand." Fawn shook her head. "Ark and his men know I live here. They know who I am."

  "No. I've been doing research." A wicked grin crossed Jax's face that gave her the shivers. "They think they know who you are. They think you're my invention."

  Her stomach churned. She was too tired of questions to ask "What?" Every time she got an answer, she didn't like what she heard.

  "Jax, you've been trying to come up with plans for years to get these men away from you," her dad said. "What's your grand scheme this time?"

  Jax gave his brother a crusty stare. "This plan will work. I know it will."

  Her mom sighed. Jax glowered for just a moment before turning back to look at Fawn. With a frown, he dug around in his backpack and pulled out several clear plastic food containers that were filled with dark red sloshing liquid that appeared strangely like—

  "Blood," Fawn said, horrified.

  "Sort of." Jax grinned. "It's stage blood. It's made from chocolate syrup, red food coloring, and water. And then there's this…"

  Jax dug into his bag again and laid a black handgun on the table. Her mom screamed, then pressed her hand against her lips to forbid the noise. Her dad stormed over to Jax, glaring at him in anger.

  "What are you doing with that gun, Jax?" her dad demanded. "I know you own them. It makes sense that you would. But to carry it around like that—"

  "It's full of blanks," Jax said.

  "Oh." Her dad's anger deflated like a popped balloon. "I see. But why would you need blanks in a gun?"

  While her dad didn't, she was beginning to understand Jax's plan .Machines didn't bleed, so if she made it look like she was bleeding, then she couldn't be a robot. At least, that would be Ark's thought. If she wasn't a robot, then Ark would let Zelda go because there wasn't any use for her. It truly was the perfect plan. No death. No one getting hurt.

  Jax's grin widened when he saw her expression. "Fawn gets it."

  "It's brilliant," Fawn cried. "I pop the blood bags, but...how are you planning to make it so it looks like you shoot me? Ark knows you. You aren't the type of man who gets gun happy. He would sense something is up if you just walked up and pointed a gun me."

  Both of her parents looked at each other in confusion, but Jax ignored them.

  "You're supposed to go alone, right? I'll pretend like I followed you. It just so happens I'll whip out my gun and try to shoot Ark, but I'll be such a terrible shot I'll miss and shoot you instead. That's when you'll use a pin to pop the blood bags on your stomach." Jax looked her up and down. "Let's see how good you are at acting. There isn't a chip for that, so this is going to be interesting."

  It already is. Fawn bit her bottom lip and then nodded. Despite the fact Jax was grinning as though he'd already succeeded in his plan, her chest ached.

  ****

  Fawn stood, fear coursing through her, beside an orange and red playground. The night sky revealed many stars and a glistening white moon. The crickets serenaded her, unawares of her trembling. She knew Jax and her parents were nearby, but that did little to ease her nerves. She clutched a fat silver pin in her fingers to pop the blood bags strapped to her waist when the time came.

  Even now, with Zelda's life hanging in the balance, she kept imagining Gavin's horrified face from earlier. She tried to shake the memories from her mind, but it didn't work. It was like her head was a reel. First she imagined all of the horrible things that could go wrong with what they were doing, and then she imagined Gavin's face. Both she would rather not see.

  As Fawn began to pace back and forth, she checked her wristwatch. It was time. As if on cue—or maybe she
'd been watched—there was the sound of rustling bushes down the path to her right. She saw Ark up close and personal for the first time. He drug Zelda with a paper bag over her head. Her hands were cuffed. Two other men walked behind them.

  "Zelda!" Fawn yelled, as Zelda thrashed and struggled.

  Zelda whimpered in fear and aimed a kick for Ark's leg, but she missed. Fawn groaned and rushed up to her, but the two men withdrew guns from their belts and aimed at her. She froze. This was already not going according to plan. She wasn't supposed to actually get shot. There weren't supposed to be two other men either.

  "Let my friend go," Fawn said. "I came just like you said. She doesn't have anything more to do with this."

  With a twisted grin, Ark released Zelda's arm but didn't remove her handcuffs. He came within a foot of Fawn. Even in the dim light, she could see his black hair and eyes that looked like pits into a cold, dark cave where no light could ever hope to reign. She'd always wondered what kind of man would kill a wife and child, but now she knew. Ark emitted such coldness she knew he wouldn't have hesitated to kill thousands of people as long as he got what he wanted.

  As Ark stalked around her, a predatory beast, Fawn stepped backward, shivering and wishing she could shove him away. She knew she couldn't. Keep calm. You have a plan. But a thousand plans wouldn't have calmed her. She kept imagining Zelda on the floor, covered in blood. Fawn didn't care if she got hurt herself, but if Zelda did…The idea made her bite her lip.

  "You do look like a human," Ark said, pulling her from her thoughts. "Jax is truly a genius man. To think he could create something like you."

  His words made her shiver. She could tell by his hungry eyes he was viewing her as an object and not as a person, but then again, she wasn't a person, was she? Remember you have a job to do. You have to pretend you have no idea what Ark is talking about. She bit her bottom lip, then shuddered.