The Mechanics of Being Human

by S. E. Campbell

  As Fawn hugged her mom close, she realized how much she would’ve missed the woman if she'd been destroyed. She pulled back and gazed into her mom's tear filled eyes. Words didn't need to be spoken. She could see the love in them, blossoming and bright. At that moment, she realized throwing her life away would have been the biggest mistake of her life. Everybody had different parents who gave birth to them, but all families were different. Some families had single moms or single dads, grandparents or kindly uncles. Some people were unfortunate enough to be born into a cold world where they knew little love at all.

  As Fawn opened her arms to both her dad and Jax, she didn’t care she'd been born on a table in the basement instead of in a hospital. All that mattered was that people loved her. The expressions on her dad's and Jax's face revealed that much as they stepped away from her.

  "I don't want to be destroyed anymore," Fawn said. "I think I'm all right here now. Jax is right. It would be stupid to throw my life away just because I was made a little different than everybody else."

  Her dad beamed at her, then squeezed her arm. "I'm so glad. I didn't…I didn't know how I would live without you. I'm sure you know I have a gambling problem. It ate up my life. I couldn't stop thinking about it, even when I moved here. But then you came into my life. I began to forget about that. You helped fix me. You brought us back together."

  Her mom nodded and continued to hold onto her.

  The sound of a throat clearing caused Fawn to gaze up from her parents' and Jax's arms. In the threshold lingered Gavin. Bags were under his eyes and his golden hair was tousled. His face was pale. Even though Jax was the one who'd stayed up all night, he appeared worse for wear.

  "Gavin." Fawn froze, uncertain of what to say. She could still recall vividly how he'd reacted in the apartment, but then again, she'd ripped off half of her face. That would have startled anyone.

  Fawn glanced in confusion at her parents. Her mom rolled her eyes, then shoved her in Gavin's direction. The two of them locked eyes and redness overflowed Gavin's cheeks. Neither of them said anything for a moment.

  Finally, Gavin spoke. "I'm glad you're all right, Fawn."

  "You are?" Fawn asked, genuinely shocked he hadn’t wished she'd fallen off of a cliff.

  "Of course I am!" Gavin pouted. "Can we talk?"

  She nodded, even though a big part of her was afraid of what Gavin would say. It had been hurtful enough when he'd seen her as she truly was and then ran away. She wasn't sure she could handle another rejection.

  "Let's go upstairs," Fawn said. "You look like you could use something with caffeine in it."

  Though Gavin nodded, he didn't smile. Maybe he was too nervous too. He walked up the stairs first. Fawn followed after him. As she studied his back, she realized things would never be the same between them again. The question was, would they grow past it or would he do the understandable thing and never want to see her again?

  When they reached the kitchen, Gavin paced in front of the refrigerator. He wrung his hands and his face was ashen. She opened and shut her mouth several times, unsure of where to begin. She forced words out of her mouth, which was unbearably painful like she was trying to rip out her tongue instead of use it.

  "Do you know how Zelda's doing?" Fawn sputtered.

  Relief crossed Gavin's face. Maybe he was grateful for the noncontroversial topic. "Zelda is fine. Bo and Mute are with her. They've been texting me ever since that night with Ark. She just got a little shaken up, but she decided not to tell anyone about what happened to her. That would bring a lot of trouble for you, if the government found out you existed."

  The words were the first to acknowledge she was what she was. She wasn't sure whether to bring up what she was or continue to dance around it You can't just ignore this for forever, and you've been running away enough lately, don't you think? Possibly a storm laid ahead. Then again, maybe not.

  "It would bring a lot of trouble." Fawn shivered. "The government would probably want to do all sorts of experiments and then replicate me. I don't think people are quite ready to have more of my kind around yet. Most people wouldn't have Jax's intentions."

  Gavin shuffled his feet again.

  "So you really are a…a…robot." Gavin sighed. "I was watching Jax work on you. I still can't believe it. Looking at you now, you still act so, well, human."

  Fawn shuffled her feet too. "Believe me, if you think that's odd, try looking in the mirror and realizing a metal plate is what gives you a face."

  Once again, pudding thick awkwardness swarmed the air.

  "Well, I guess there's one good thing about all of this," Gavin said.

  "What's that?" Fawn gazed at him seriously.

  "At least you'll never have to go to the dentist." Gavin forced a smile on his face. "Man, I hate the dentist."

  For a second Fawn stared at him. Was he truly joking at a time like this? Gavin began to laugh, but it sounded fake. She could tell by the sound. But then she realized it was a start on the path of 'her and him' again. She started to laugh too. Soon, as the sound of their forced merriment filled the kitchen, she found she was enjoying herself. Hopefully, so was Gavin. She wasn't sure why, and she was sure he didn't know either. When the two of them finally stopped, they stared at each other. Their laughter somehow cleared the awkwardness between them.

  With a real grin, Gavin stepped forward and hugged her tight. He breathed into her hair. "I'm so glad you're okay, Fawn. It scared me when I thought you might get hurt."

  Fawn pushed her face into his shirt, inhaling his sweet scent. He smelled of cedar and fresh mowed grass. His sweetness was just as warming as his strong arms.

  "So we're okay?" Fawn asked. "Even though I am what I am?"

  He loosened his grip. "To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I think we'll work it out one day at a time. That's what people do when they like each other, right?"

  Fawn pulled away, then gazed into his blue eyes. "You still like me?"

  "I never stopped liking you."

  The way Gavin stared at her with adoration made Fawn realize he was telling the truth. A person could not look at another person that way without caring about them. Relief as strong as the ocean but as gentle as a warm spring breeze crashed over her. She never thought she would get to see Gavin look at her like that again.

  She looked at Gavin's lips, wondering if it was all right if she kissed him. Maybe they weren't ready for that stage yet. Maybe Gavin recovered enough to admit he still cared, but not enough to want to be intimate. Her woes were thrown out the window, though, when he stepped forward and kissed her hard on the lips.

  Gavin's mouth was sweet on hers. She could have spent years pressed up against him, her fingers curled in his shirt. As he deepened the kiss, she swore she was in heaven. She was so grateful she'd not thrown herself away at that moment. She would have missed this. She would have missed the love of her family. That was when she realized that somebody should never toss themselves away. A new and beautiful beginning had the potential to be around every corner, if only the person could find the courage to wait and have faith.

  When Gavin pulled back, he pressed his hand against Fawn's cheek then balanced his forehead against her own. She smiled at him, and he smiled back at her. If the two of them could have grown together like two trees in the forest, she wouldn't have minded. In his arms, she truly felt as though she was home.

  "I know Jax created you." Gavin tucked a hair gently behind Fawn's ear. "But there is no way he was the only one who had a hand in making eyes like yours. I guess even with robots, they are windows to the soul."

  Fawn smiled. Maybe they truly were.

  ****

  Fawn and Gavin still stood embracing in the kitchen when people trudged up the stairs. She looked up and saw Jax leading her parents. When her family entered the kitchen, the two of them stepped a part. Gavin immediately seized her hand, though, intertwining his fingers with her own.

  "I'm sorry to interrupt the two of you like thi
s, but we do still have three mad kidnappers shackled to beds in my house." Jax grunted. "I figured now that everybody has made up, it would be a good time to get rid of them."

  All the happy feelings between her and Gavin dispersed like dust in the wind.

  "What?" Fawn's fists balled. "I thought we agreed we weren't going to kill anybody."

  Jax frowned at her, brows furrowed. "Who said anything about killing anyone? I said, 'Get rid of.' Not kill. Have a little faith."

  "Then what's the plan?" Gavin asked, crossing his arms. Maybe he too believed Jax wouldn't have the slightest bit of trouble throwing a hatchet at Ark.

  Both her dad and Jax exchanged worried glances. Fawn had a feeling she wasn't going to like what they said. Then again, maybe that was a force of habit. The words out of their mouths brought thunderstorms more often than sunshine and rainbows.

  "If I can put together an entire robotic individual, then I for sure can figure out a way to get rid of Ark and his cronies." An evil smirk crossed Jax's face. "I believe we found the answer in Metyrapone."

  Fawn's jaw dropped in horror. "Oh!"

  A blank expression crossed Gavin's face. "What's that?"

  "Metyrapone in large doses can be used to wipe out memories." Fawn faced Jax, jaw tight. "I'm right, aren't I? You're going to wipe out Ark's memories? But isn't that bad? Metyrapone can't be controlled. You can't choose which memories to wipe and which ones to keep."

  "The man killed my wife and child." Jax glowered at her. "At least allow me this. If we just dump him and his two men off in the middle of a new city, he'll just come right back and seek revenge on you and on us. But if we erase his memories of you—of me—and then deposit him somewhere safe but far away, he'll never find his way back here."

  "What did you have in mind?" Fawn asked.

  "Ever since Ark started hunting me, I did research on him just as much as he did research on me." Jax nodded at her. "He has an uncle who lives in Canada in the middle of nowhere. I am under the impression Ark hasn't seen him in a long time, but the man has a record of being charitable. If Ark believes he is Canadian and has little idea of his past, he would have a hard time coming back from that."

  The idea of taking somebody’s memories repulsed her because she knew what it was like to wake up with a blank slate. But she'd never harmed anyone on purpose. That was not the case with Ark. As much as she was hesitant to agree to such a plan, she found herself nodding. Jax deserved peace. So did her parents. Maybe if Ark was gone then they could start some sort of normal life. Or however normal a teenaged robot, her family, and her boyfriend could have.

  "But what about the two drones?" Fawn asked. "What will you do with them?"

  "Oliver's job will be to do the wiping. He can get the meds from his hospital." Jax stole a worried glance at Oliver. "I'll do the research on their families. I'm sure they'll have somebody to take them in."

  Fawn bit her bottom lip but nodded again.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Two days later, Ark lay on the metal cot downstairs. His angry, beady little eyes narrowed at her dad who loomed over him with a shot in his hand. A small table laden with three needles was by him. As she lingered, watching and trembling, her mom wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. The warmth comforted her, but just barely. Jax stood nearby, arms crossed over his chest with his eyes narrowed. Gavin was not there. He stayed home with Remy because he'd gotten grounded after not coming home and not having an explanation to give her.

  Ark was tied to the table with a ball gag in his mouth. Every so often he would pant, glare periodically at her dad and then at Jax, then pant against the gag again. He attempted to thrash like a fish in a bucket, but trying to escape was futile. The ties around his wrists and ankles were expertly done, making her wonder whether or not Jax had tied people to his cot before.

  Her dad inserted the long needle into Ark's golden arm. The man thrashed for a minute. He then grew still and quiet, his breathing steady. Her dad pressed his fingers against Ark's throat to check his heartbeat. He threw a glance at Jax and then nodded his head. Jax nodded back.

  After sighing again, her dad picked up the second shot which lay on the table next to him. He opened the second bottle, filled the canister with it, then glared down at the man. He inserted the shot into Ark's temple and the silver needle dipped further and further into his skull. But he didn't cry out or groan. The tranquilizer must have been strong. Fawn whimpered as her mom wrapped her arms around her tighter.

  As her dad picked up the third bottle and filled that too, she thought of how melodramatic the scene was. She expected Ark to seize and quake as his memories were forced from his mind. But that was not the way it happened. Instead all was still. Memories could be stolen so easily and silently, just like a butterfly's wing being crushed between fingers. Even though Ark was a bad man, the sight of him losing himself made her feel sad. Nobody should lose themselves. Nobody should be forced to endure their memories disappearing from them.

  And maybe this was all for naught, because her dad warned them they couldn't control which memories got erased.

  "What if he doesn't forget about us?" Fawn whispered.

  "Oliver got enough Metyrapone in order to wipe his mind completely clean." Her mom soothed her by smoothing down her hair. "He'll never remember us. He'll never come back."

  On cue, her dad stepped away from Ark and nervously placed his shot back on the table.

  "Well, I'm done," her dad whispered. "It's all over."

  All of his memories were gone. Fawn gazed at Jax again. For the first time, she saw tears streaming down his face. Her dad walked over and embraced Jax.

  "It's over now," her dad said. "It's all over. We'll drive him out of here and he won't be able to hurt us again."

  Jax nodded slowly.

  ****

  Fawn and her parents stood at the sidewalk and watched Jax drive away in his black SUV. In the backseat, Jax stored Ark's body. Ark's two other cronies remained inside. Jax would deal with relocating them once he got back from dumping Ark off in Canada. At the thought of Ark disappearing, her shoulders slumped with relief.

  "He's gone," Fawn said.

  "He's gone," her mom agreed.

  "But what if the border patrol stops Jax and searches the truck?" Fawn asked worriedly.

  "They aren't the most protective." Her dad shrugged. "Jax will find a way around them, I'm sure. He'll be back in no time. I just can't believe what a relief it is to know that Ark's no longer around. That he won't be stalking Jax any longer."

  Nodding, she shivered and tightened her arms around herself.

  "You know, with Ark gone, you don't have to hide anymore." Her mom grinned at her. "There are things you can do now that you could never do before."

  Fawn's heart leapt in excitement. She thought she knew what her mom meant, but she couldn't be sure.

  "Do you want to go to high school with Gavin, Fawn?" her mom asked.

  With a cry of joy, she leapt into her mom's arms and held her close. Her dad chuckled, then clapped her on the back. She realized she had everything a girl, human or non-human, could hope for. People who truly cared about her.

  Epilogue

  Fawn sat at the school lunch table with Gavin who held her hand while eating a greasy, oozing piece of pizza. Across the table sat Bo and Mute. Bo held a gaming system and kept swearing repeatedly for reasons she didn't know. Gavin glanced up and over her shoulder, then his face split into a big grin.

  "Ah." Gavin squeezed Fawn's hand. "There's Zelda."

  When Zelda saw them, she smiled then hustled over to the table. She sat down by Fawn and nudged her with her elbow. She was glad she'd been forgiven for dragging the girl into a big mess. She was even more grateful that Zelda was now her best friend.

  "So how was your first day of school?" Zelda beamed.

  "Not too bad." Fawn shrugged.

  "Even if you aren't used to it?" Zelda raised an eyebrow as she took a chomp of pizza. An orange drizzle of gre
ase dribbled down her chin.

  Fawn laughed, then handed Zelda a napkin. "It's all in the mechanics."

  About the Author

  Stephanie Campbell had her first book published at the age of seventeen. Now, at twenty, she is still whacking away at her computer, one day at a time. When she isn’t reading or writing, she likes to dance, take karate lessons, and run. After all, you never know when you’re about to be sucked into another world.

  Also by S.E. Campbell

  Chapter One

  Excitement filled Pickles Bartley’s heart as she sat in the cafeteria at the Walter Peabody Home for Children, which was empty except for the janitor who rolled his trash can across his floor. On an average day, she should have been in school with the rest of the foster girls, but today she had been called out for a special meeting. Blood rushed in her ears and her heart pounded. The normally bustling cafeteria’s silence was horrible because it allowed her no distractions from her own thoughts. She stared straight ahead at her social worker, Mrs. Beazley. The brilliant glare of fluorescent lighting emphasized the fine lines around her hazel eyes. Laugh lines, one of Pickles’ foster moms had once called them. Pickles liked Mrs. Beazley. For as long as she could remember, the woman had been there for her.

  “I think we found you another foster home,” Mrs. Beazley said, tucking a strand of brunette hair behind one ear. “This one is in Seattle. A nice family. Young. What do you think?”

  Mrs. Beazley slid a photographer in front of Pickles. The couple in the picture belonged on the cover of a magazine. The woman was a thin brunette and the man had dark black curly hair.