Fighting Heart: Fighting Heart Erotic Bad Boy Romance Series Book 1

by Hamilton, Nicole

  He squeezed my body, picked me up and threw me on the bed. I was flushed with desire, but I was angry as hell too and I scowled at him. He stood there with a big smile on his face, and started grabbing at me. Today I was in a checked skirt with a hemline that fell below the knee. I was almost regretting not wearing my jeans. I saw the glint in his eye.

  “Brandon!” I warned him, wanting him all the same. He threw my skirt back and snatched at my panties. I tried to slap his hand away. His hands stayed. He slipped his fingers between my legs and pushed the material of my panties up in between my lips, and we both felt the give and the wetness reach his fingers. He slid his fingers into me and I couldn’t help but sigh.

  “You’re mine, Ashley. And it isn’t because of any money. It’s because of this.”

  I was outraged, and aroused all at once. But as angry as I had been, all of my emotions were flipping one way right now. I had reached a stressful high and I needed relief. A little voice inside was shouting at me in disgust as I stopped fighting Brandon. He tugged my panties away, and I watched the greed in his eyes as he pushed between by thighs. He hadn’t even kissed me yet. There had been no foreplay, yet I still needed him. He unzipped his jeans and seized me and pulled my body to the edge of the bed. He peeled my sex open with his fingers and forced his manhood against me, then pushed it inside. I growled in pain before I absorbed him, and then he was monstrous. He gripped me tight around my hips and pounded his body into me. I felt his need, his force, and I also felt something else. He groaned and pressed as deep as he could into my body and then he rocked backwards, then fell forwards onto me. It felt good and it felt bad. This time I didn’t cum. This time, I limply laid my hand on the back of his head. My whole life had changed in a week, and now I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy at all.

  Fourteen

  Cody knew about Brandon Lynes reading in Greenwich. In the English department, who didn’t? The English Professors were sops for literary celebrity - most of them had been chasing it unsuccessfully for all their lives, and then in Brandon Lynes they had a new shining star. They could at least bask in his reflected glory. But the underlying problem with Brandon Lynes was that his work sucked. It was vain, badly written, and some of his ideas had clearly been stolen from rock songs. You couldn’t call him a plagiarist, not really, but he was a kind of mimic – and a bad one. Now he knew about the Greenwich reading, and when he saw Ashley the next day he saw a girl with a lot on her mind. He asked her about her job. She looked shy and awkward and said she had thrown a sick day yesterday. He asked her about Brandon’s performance. She said she was there, but she couldn’t remember much of it. Like he said, she looked like she had a lot on her mind. But the fact she had thrown a sickie at work and had been at the Greenwich reading told him one thing. She had slept with Brandon again. Even without imagining another man with her, to think the very words hurt him. Ashley was too lovely, too precious to waste on a pretentious oaf like Brandon Lynes. Cody selfishly hoped it would come to an end soon. Today was about Ashley. He had a surprise for her. At the vegetarian café in New Cross they sometimes did a lunch time reading – an open mic slot. For such a huge creative student community with no day job this place could get packed. He told Ashley he was going to do a reading. This was true. But he didn’t tell her she was going to do one too.

  The room was abuzz with the clatter and hiss of the coffee machine, the chatter and laughter of nervous performers, and the smell of coffee and grilled cheese on toast. It was a wonderful place. But Ashley was still looking down.

  “What’s up Ash? I thought you loved going to readings,” he said.

  She smirked. “It’s difficult, Cody. I really need to talk to Penny about this. You’re a guy, and talking to you about this puts you and me in an awkward position.”

  “Then think of me as your honorary chick for the day. Just for the day, mind. Listen, you look like you need a confessional. No judgement, I promise. Speak,” he said.

  Ashley sipped her coffee and the words poured. She didn’t need a second invitation. It was all waiting to come out like an Avalanche.

  “It’s going so badly, Cody. I went there yesterday to confront Brandon. I mean, I like him, he really helped me in finding me the job, and he’s a good looking guy…” She stopped and looked at him.

  “Honourary chick, remember,” he said It hurt to hear her words, but she needed his ear more than he needed to run away.

  “I went there to tell him I wanted an arrangement to pay him back. I told him I needed my independence, but he just wouldn’t listen. Then he grabbed hold of me, and when he talks to me that way I just kind of melt. I wanted to be strong, but then my hormones kicked in and I kind of just gave him what he wanted,” said Ashley.

  Cody was seething but he had to control it.

  “Did he hurt you?” He asked, being careful with his words.

  “He was rougher than usual. Less attentive. It sounds bad, Cody. Really bad… I’m sorry I’m telling you all this, but apart from Penny I have no one I can talk to here and she’s so busy…”

  “Ashley. It’s okay. Now spit it out, please,” he said, trying not so sound pushy.

  “When we were together… he told me he owns me,” said Ashley

  “Together? Wait. I’ve got it. Together. Was it sex talk? Heat of the moment crap?” He was keeping his emotions in check.

  “Oh. I thought about that. I thought about that a lot last night. No, it wasn’t. I think he meant it. In the evening during the reading I couldn’t bear myself, let alone him. I should never have slept with him again, Cody. I couldn’t watch him, I couldn’t listen to him. In the end I walked out and texted him that I felt ill. I went home ashamed of myself.”

  There was a very small and selfish part starting in his mind, and there was a red rage in another quarter. He was ready to kill someone and yet, here he was about to do a reading. Timing, huh? This was insane.

  It was his turn to read. The coffee shop girl gave him a nod and started speaking into the mic. “So, up next is a café favourite, the acclaimed Cody Barnes. Cody! It’s over to you.”

  “Good luck,” said Ashley.

  “I don’t need it,” he said with a wink. But now he was nervous because of what was going to happen next. He took the mic, and pulled his folded note from his pocket. He started reading as casually as he could. He knew if He started reading like it was professional writing, the meaning would never come through as strongly.

  “Honesty. Brutal honesty. It is what she is. The honesty is in her eyes. It runs all the way through her like a stick of rock. Forceful, like a storm. Ready to be gentle, and ready to break and shield in equal measure. She is powerful. She is uncompromisingly unique…”

  He read it and it sounded cheesy to his ears. It sounded like the worst purple prose he had ever written, and he was hesitant, feeling himself blushing. But an astonishing thing happened. When he looked up, people were still quiet and they were fixed watching him. He wondered what their faces meant, and then came the applause. This piece was so personal, so deeply true, that their applause resonated in his body. He looked over at Ashley and saw she was smiling. Cody wondered if she knew. But there was no time to ask because Ashley was up next. In the first week’s classes she had read a poem by John Donne. She said during her school days it had inspired her to want to write. In his other pocket he had a printout of that poem. It was a simple favourite, but the way she read it back in that seminar was so good, he wanted everyone to hear it.

  “Ashley Pearson,” he said into the mic. “It’s your turn. Your name is on the list.”

  She looked shocked and suddenly afraid.

  “Cody! You’re a bad man! I haven’t got anything to read!” she said throwing her hands up.

  “No I’m not and yes you do. It’s The Sun Rising by John Donne. And here it is.”

  He unfolded the sheet. The café tables turned to look at her. Now she was on the spot. It was fight or flight time and his heart was thudding on her behalf. Grad
ually she stood up and swished the blonde hair out of her face. She walked up to the mic, and snatched it off him. He gave her the Donne poem.

  “You are a bad man, Cody,” she said, with a smile on her face.

  She put the mic to her face, and her breath sounded across the speakers. He willed her on and waited. But when she started up that old poem on the joy of being in bed with a lover, about their bed being the centre of the universe, he was rapt. Her voice was soft and breathy. Her reading was even and slow. She made the poem come alive. He saw her look up out of the window as she read the last verse, and a shadow seemed to move across her eyes, but her voice stayed the same. The audience clapped but Ashley didn’t wait to receive it. She handed the microphone to the café woman, and quickly stepped away. She walked back to their table and snatched up her bag. She was going, and he didn’t understand why. They’d lapped it up. She’d been wonderful. He moved through the tables towards her. In her hurry he wanted her to know how good she was. He saw the uncertain look in her eyes, the stress and the pain. He wanted it all to go away. He couldn’t help himself - he hugged her, wrapping his arms all the way around her slender shoulders. For a moment he felt her resistance. She was limp. Then a fraction of a second later her arms curled around him and she laid her hands on his shoulder blades.

  “Thank you, Cody.” His heart did a little dance. He looked up and saw what she had seen out of the window – the cause of the shadow across her face. Brandon Lynes was standing outside on the street, chewing the fat with two of his buddies. One of the buddies was pointing towards the vegetarian café. Cody was incensed.

  “I’ve got to go,” said Ashley, and let go of him and walked towards the door. He looked around and didn’t know what to do, but he knew what he wanted to do. Screw it. He took a breath and strode straight towards the café door.

  Ashley was already with him by then, in his orbit, and Brandon was talking to her. He looked so tall beside her, he looked like he was talking down to her. Cody kept on walking. Brandon Lynes looked up first and saw him, then Ashley and the buddies looked around too. Cody was no fighter. This was insane.

  “You should leave her alone, Brandon,” he said.

  “Mind your own business, ginger man,” Brandon replied.

  “Back off and give her some space. You can’t bully someone like her!” As he was saying this, Cody thought is this really Me?

  Brandon’s eyes flared and he turned squarely like a bull to face him. “You’re going somewhere you don’t want to go, small fry.”

  Ashley gave Cody a look. It had some kind of meaning, like her eyes were speaking to him, telling him to stop, but how could he stop? He knew she needed help. He felt the violence brewing in the air, the tension crackling around them. Others sensed it too. Students were stopping and lingering nearby.

  Ashley sensed it. Because he wasn’t getting her message, she shook her head.

  “Cody! This is none of your business. You need to leave now.”

  “Ashley?” He said, dumbfounded. Her eyes were still speaking to him, but he couldn’t read them. They were speaking a different language to her hostile voice.

  “Please, Cody. Back off,” said Ashley.

  Cody heeded her voice, only because of her eyes. He swore, if it hadn’t been for those sad eyes he would have given up on her as one of those girls who messes with your head. But those eyes said something, and he needed to find out what.

  Brandon Lynes moved up behind Ashley and wrapped his arms around her waist, claiming her as his own. Ashley didn’t fight him. Brandon’s goons laughed at Cody, but he didn’t care. He looked at those eyes a little longer and then walked away. He walked like a wounded animal back to the vegetarian café to collect his things. He picked up his bag and coat and waved goodbye to the café woman. Then he looked out of the window, feeling bitter and confused. He looked at the muscular arms around Ashley’s waist. Then he saw Ashley move her hands and throw Brandon’s big arms off her. She turned around, stepped back and started to lecture Brandon Lynes. After such a triumphant moment with Ashley’s reading, Cody felt as if he had slipped into defeat but she was still fighting Brandon. This was a good sign. But he still wondered if she was ever really going to be his. He felt he’d already lost.

  Fifteen

  After the showdown between Cody and Brandon outside the vegetarian café, I was more twisted up than ever. The way Cody challenged Brandon was foolish, and yet it was inspirational. I never knew he had it in him! It’s strange to say, but I felt kind of proud of him. But I couldn’t tell him that. I didn’t need any more guys trying to step in to control my situation. Right now that was the last thing I wanted. I called Purdy’s to see if they needed me on Wednesday night, having bunked off the night before because of Brandon. Purdy said “not tonight,” and that was that. Great. I was another night’s wages down, probably because Purdy didn’t like my no show the night before. Brandon tried to kiss me, and asked me in front of his friends to come home with him. By this point Amanda was radiating more cold than Frosty the Snowman. The bitch was welcome to him. I told him I had to study, but he knew I was being distant. “Playing hard to get won’t save you, gorgeous.”

  “It’ll save me tonight, Brandon.” I replied. And it did. But it didn’t save me from my anxiety. Brandon had been a shining knight for all of a few days before revealing his true colours. It turned out that he was just another bastard hiding behind his good looks. He was a beautiful looking man, and we’d shared some sweet and tender moments together. When two bodies mingle like that, it’s hard to ever truly hate the other person even when you’re angry with them. I didn’t really hate him, how could I? But I wanted to.

  The next morning I called Penny, but she had gone back to Surrey to see her parents. My only alternative was Cody. I just wanted friendship. I wanted to hang out with someone, and I was beginning to think he was pretty cool. What he dared me to do at the café was exhilarating and amazing. I wanted more experiences like that. We met at a coffee shop at the Lewisham end of town where I knew I was unlikely to see Brandon. I happened to notice that Cody looked kind of cute today. I noticed his style for the first time. He was all about fitted checked shirts, and thick smart trousers, either with a big belt or braces. His face was always shining with vigour and his eyes burned bright beneath his fringe of red hair. He was my study buddy and my friend, and he was secretly pretty cool. After talking aimlessly about a ton of stuff unconnected to Brandon, I needed to check in at Purdy’s just a five minute walk away to get my next shift.

  The lights were off but someone was home. The door was ajar, resting on the snib. They would be cleaning now, and I would have been helping but they had never called me. I walked into the smell of beer and bleach and last night’s food. The mirror behind the bar reflected me and Cody as silhouettes in a rectangle of light.

  “Purdy? Reggie?” I called.

  No answer.

  “Maybe they’re… indisposed.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Take a guess. Maybe they’re making the beast with two backs.”

  I laughed. “They live together, Cody.”

  “People get horny in the strangest places.”

  “Speak for yourself,” I said with a smile.

  I walked around the back of the bar and pushed through the door which led to the private part of the building and led up to Purdy and Reggie’s flat. I called up the stairs to their door. They didn’t reply, but I heard creaking floorboards. It sounded like they were getting ready to come down again, so I went back through to the bar to wait.

  I was about to walk around and see Cody when I heard the door open and feet pounding down the stairs. Purdy emerged with Reggie close behind her. They looked at me, and then they looked at each other, and I suddenly didn’t feel good at all.

  “What are you doing here?” said Purdy.

  “I just came in to see you… to get my next shift…” I said, floundering a little.

  “Really? Why bother?
” Purdy looked angry and I had no clue why.

  “Because I work here?” I said.

  “No you don’t, Ashley. Not anymore.”

  A hammer of injustice hit me on the heart, and then the rage surged in.

  “Why not?!”

  “Because you don’t turn up for shifts. Because you play the feminist card with our customers. Because your boyfriend insulted us and told us you secretly hate working here. I’ve got to say it wasn’t hard to see. If you hate it so much, you didn’t ever have to bother coming back. We don’t want any prima donnas here, eh, Reggie?”

  Big Reggie looked at me with his soft eyes, but he was angry too. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head. “That’s it Ashley. We’ll settle up with you next week. Time to go.”

  I was furious and started welling up with tears, but I didn’t want to cry. I held back and made my voice as deep and strong as I could.

  “Are you saying Brandon came in here and told you that?”

  “Yeah. The rude son of a bitch came in here late last night and told us exactly what you’ve been saying. Purdy’s is a dive, they’re so mean to me, the customers are lechers, it’s beneath me…”

  “Beneath me! Those are just cold stone lies! I never said that.”

  Reggie looked surprised, but Purdy’s face was set to mean.

  “It doesn’t matter now. We don’t need your kind of trouble. We’ve got a business to run here, not a psychotherapy service. Now leave us to work. Reggie will pay you next week.”

  I was stunned.

  “Come on. We’re working here. It’s time to go. Get out.”

  Purdy opened the gate on the bar and pointed for me to go. Open-mouthed, furious, I walked away. I looked back but I didn’t know whether to holler or scream. Instead I walked back into the pale daylight with Cody trailing in my wake. Brandon knew how much I valued my independence. But last night he had chosen to destroy my last vestige of freedom. He’d taken away my opportunity to get away from his dominance. But I wouldn’t let him win. I started walking towards New Cross at a fierce pace. I couldn’t help my boiling anger.