Hold On (Delos Series Book 5)

by Lindsay McKenna

  Not that Matt Culver seemed like the playboy type. The look in his eyes when she’d catch him looking at her sister was more than lust. It went far deeper.

  Muttering to herself, Callie shook her head and shut her door, locking it. She had enough problems of her own with Beau Gardner suddenly popping up in her life. He seemed so damned sincere, and so far, he was scoring very low on her BS meter. In fact, he was off the meter entirely.

  Well, she’d wanted honesty, right? And he was giving it to her. Shedding her clothes, she decided to take a hot shower in the morning when it was light. Callie never liked to walk over to the shower area after dark. There were too many male predators on this base, and in her five years here, women had been mugged and raped. That was not a place she wanted to go.

  Instead, she had a large aluminum bowl, a gallon jug of water sitting beside her dresser, a washcloth, and some soap in a Ziploc bag. She would give herself a spit bath and then go to bed.

  *

  When Callie’s head hit the pillow and she snuggled down into her bed, she immediately began to think about Beau. She loved his low, soft drawl, that boyish twitch of his lips, the warm amusement in his piercing gray eyes—eyes that missed nothing.

  She was sure many people had been fooled by Beau’s good-ol’-boy demeanor. He exuded patience, care, and a sense of protectiveness that appealed strongly to Callie. The man was the whole package for a woman seeking someone steady and reliable in her life. Callie had often dreamed of finding a man who liked babies, and Beau had such a way with the little Afghan girls. That morning, when he’d arrived, they had surrounded him, shy but wanting to be in the sunlight of his aura, his care, and his open, giving warmth. Often, she’d see Beau kneel down, tie a shoelace, help a little girl with a coverall strap that was hanging off her small, thin shoulder. He’d tighten it up just a bit to keep it from falling off again.

  Afghan girls were taught to fear boys and men. It was all part of a tribal culture aimed at suppressing women. Unfortunately, it started early, when little girls had barely begun to walk.

  But Beau was a highly unusual man, and these children, who had lost their parents and grandparents, basked in the warmth of his quiet, gentle presence. Callie had tried to escape being affected by him, but it was too late now—her heart was already getting involved, no matter what she did to try to ignore it. So what on earth was she going to do now?

  CHAPTER 3

  Callie heard Dara enter the B-hut at 0600 the next morning. She could barely hear her sister whispering to Matt Culver out on the porch as she held the door open. Her heart sinking, Callie realized that they’d been together all night over at the Eagle’s Nest. Happiness for Dara warred with her concern that Matt was like every other man on this base: wanting sex and nothing else from a woman.

  Her sister was still pretty innocent about military men, who went for months without sex and were horny as hell. On the other hand, Dara wasn’t the type to tumble lightning-fast for a guy, as she seemed to be falling for Matt Culver.

  Callie couldn’t blame her sister: Matt was an incredibly good-looking man, confident, brave, and demonstrating the best manners. And that didn’t even touch his sky-high intelligence. Then again, Delta Force men were dangerous that way—a lethal combination of brains and brawn.

  Sighing, she heard the door close and Callie opened hers, peeking out. Dara appeared wrapped in euphoria, her eyes soft, all the tension she usually carried now gone. There was no question that they had made love last night, and probably this morning, too, judging from the drowsy, satisfied look in her sister’s eyes.

  “Want to go take a shower?” Callie asked her.

  “That’s a very good idea,” Dara agreed. “Just give me ten minutes and I’ll go over with you.”

  “Great,” Callie said. “Is it still raining outside?”

  “No, just high humidity, a lot of sharp, cutting wind, and darn cold,” Dara reported, opening her door across the hall.

  “Knock on my door when you’re ready, okay?” she asked Dara.

  “Yes, will do …” For sure, Callie thought, Dara is in la-la land. Callie easily recognized that look. It came with super orgasms and lots of them. Matt Culver must have been one hell of a lover, along with his other talents. But then, the Delta boys were always in high demand. The women here weren’t stupid; they hooked up with the strongest, the sexiest, the brightest warriors available. It was a case of natural selection at work. Right?

  Callie groaned and pushed on her clogs, wrapped herself up in her yellow terry-cloth bathrobe, and put her bath and hair towels into her bag. She tossed in shampoo, soap, and conditioner, and she was ready to go. She expected that she and her sister would catch up over morning chow.

  *

  “You look like you’ve just arrived from another universe,” Callie teased as she and Dara found some seats midway through the hundreds of tables and benches. The chow hall at 0630 was relatively quiet compared to what it would be like in an hour. This building held a lot of hungry men and women for three square meals a day.

  Dara sat opposite her, dressed in a pair of black wool slacks, a red turtleneck sweater, and a black wool blazer. “Is it that obvious?” she asked coyly, scooping scrambled eggs onto her fork.

  Chuckling, Callie said, “How many orgasms? Must have been a lot, judging by the way you looked when you came in.” She saw Dara give her a horrified look. “Oh, come on, Dara, this is between us girls. Orgasms do exist, you know. And after all, you’re a medical doctor,” she said, grinning wolfishly.

  “You are so crass sometimes,” Dara muttered, trying not to smile.

  “How many? Come on, tell all to your little sister …”

  “Lots. That’s all you get to know. And now I’m going to change the subject.”

  “I’d sure like to be in your shoes,” Callie sighed. “Or out of them!” She ate her oats and saw her sister’s cheeks turn red. Dara was conservative, elegant, beautiful, and introverted. Unlike Callie, who was the exact opposite. Callie knew she was attractive, but she’d never kidded herself that she was the beautiful sister. Dara was the one with that soft, natural blond hair that fell like a cloak around her shoulders.

  “What about that other Delta guy? Beau Gardner? He seems to really like you,” Dara pointed out. “Sometimes, I see him watching you, and the look on his face belongs to a man who yearns for his woman.”

  “Yeah, to get into my pants,” her sister mumbled.

  “Oh, that’s mean, Callie. He’s as nice as Matt is.”

  “Yes, and look what happened to you once Matt came along!”

  Dara grinned and shook her head. “Okay, so this isn’t my norm with a man. I know it takes me months to warm up to a potential prospect.”

  “Yeah, this one took … what? All of six days? Wow, you’re setting a new personal best for yourself, Dara.”

  “Jealousy will get you nowhere,” her sister laughed. “Come on! He’s a wonderful person. I really enjoy being with him.”

  Callie sobered. “But, Dara, you’re going to be gone in another four days, back home in Alexandria to finish your residency. Matt Culver is staying here until March, and what then? God only knows where the Army will send his team next. He’s a shadow warrior—not the best type of guy to hook up with.”

  “Matt’s enlistment is up next March, Callie, and then he’s getting out.”

  Brows raised, Callie said, “Really?”

  “Yes, and did you know his family lives in Alexandria? He’s coming home to Virginia to help his mother run Delos, her global charity.”

  “Oh,” Callie murmured thoughtfully. “So that makes a difference. After all, he’ll be in your area.”

  “It does make a difference,” Dara agreed. She sighed. “Callie, I’m falling for this guy. He’s the real deal. I realize I don’t have your experience with men, but I have enough to know Matt is someone I’m very serious about.”

  “And is he serious about you?”

  “I believe so.”

/>   Callie stirred her oats. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Dara.”

  Reaching out, Dara squeezed her hand. “I know that, Callie.”

  “Yes, well, I can tell you from too many experiences that falling for a military guy isn’t the best choice.”

  Dara munched on her toast. “So what’s with you and Beau, then? Sometimes I’ve come out of my examination room and found him watching you from a distance. Not stalkerlike, but he’ll be diapering the babies or helping the little ones, and he’ll lift his head and watch you pass by.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  Shrugging, but secretly pleased, Callie said, “I’m too busy to check out who’s looking at me.”

  “Well, I swear, he looks like a puppy dog who’s falling in love.”

  “Great!” Callie choked. “Just what I need.”

  Laughing, Dara smiled over at her. “Callie, you’re young, you’re beautiful, and you have a killer body most women would die for. I see the looks you get here in the chow hall every morning.”

  “But I don’t want to be a damned sex object, Dara. You know that.”

  “Well, you and I agree on that one. I want a man who treats me like an equal too. One who respects me …”

  “Like Matt Culver does?”

  “Yes.” Dara’s voice went soft. “He’s wonderful, Callie. I tried to ignore him when he met us outside those exit doors after our belly-dancing routine. But he has a way about him.” She sighed. “He’s so sensual. And charming. And funny. He even makes me laugh, and you know how few men can do that!”

  “Well, it sounds pretty good, and I’m happy for you, sis,” Callie agreed. “Enjoy your last four days here, and don’t forget, we’re driving out to that Shinwari village. It’s all set up. You’ll be doing your medical rounds for women, children, and babies in the village, and I’ll be handing out shoes and winter clothing to the children.”

  “Are Matt and Beau going with us, I hope?”

  “Yes. You worry too much, Dara. I don’t think Matt would let you go out there without him.”

  “I know,” she admitted ruefully. “I never feel safe here, Callie. I mean, I want to volunteer my time with you and the Hope Charity. But I’m never relaxed. Well, I take that back. Last night, I was very relaxed.”

  Callie snickered, shaking her head. “Well, if nothing else, keep going to the Eagle’s Nest every night with him and you’ll be loosey-goosey by the time we drive that twenty-five miles to the village.”

  Dara’s eyes became huge. “Callie! How did you know about the Eagle’s Nest?”

  “Gimme a break, Dara. I’ve been on Bagram six months out of every year for the last five years. You get to know the base and how it operates.”

  “So, have you been to the Nest?”

  “No,” Callie said pertly, “but I’ve heard about it from other women who have been there. They say it’s like an apartment.”

  “It is. And it’s soundproof.”

  “Good thing,” Callie said drily, giving her sister a wicked grin.

  And then they both laughed, their hands over their mouths, looking more like teenagers than women who could, at any given moment, be putting their lives on the line.

  *

  Beau was swamped by the children the minute he and Matt arrived inside the orphanage. They had made their cursory inspection outdoors, and seeing the children warmed Beau’s heart as he and Matt moved into the mudroom. They kept their M4s against their chests so a child couldn’t accidentally bump into a barrel and get hurt on the cold metal of the weapon. The boys gravitated to Matt, and the girls flowed around Beau. In part, it was because they both spoke their language, which created trust. The children’s openness and their happy chatter made the men smile.

  Beau greeted Maggie and watched Callie disappear into the kitchen, where breakfast was being prepared for the children. He called the girls to accompany him to the big room, and they followed him like little ducklings. They all knew he brought wrapped candy, and their small hands reached for it when he patted the stuffed pockets of his cargo pants.

  Matt had taken the boys to one corner of the big room, and Beau took the girls to another. In Afghan society, if an American soldier gave a little girl a piece of candy or food, the boys would come and attack her, beating her up until she gave up her prize to them. The boys were vicious when it came to intimidating a girl. They let her know from the time she took her first steps that she was valued far below any goat or donkey in the village.

  As Beau sat down on a chair, he pulled his weapon to his back, getting it out of the way as the girls crowded excitedly around him, their eyes shining with eager anticipation, their small hands opened toward him, begging him for some candy. He smiled, spoke softly in Pashto to them, and pulled out a bunch of wrapped candies. As he held his large hand down toward them, he saw how different the girls were from the boys.

  The boys would have charged forward, fighting and hitting each other, grabbing for as much candy as they could get. Instead, the girls waited, their eyes large with excitement. Beau told them he would start with one girl and allow each to take one piece in turn.

  The girls were patient as Beau handed out all the candy to them. Then he called them over, asking them to sit down around his feet and eat their prizes. Across the room, he saw Matt had his hands full with the shoving, pushing boys. All it took was a deep growl from him in Pashto to stop the tussles, and they backed off, thinking they were going to get cuffed or struck with a belt or a switch.

  Instead, Matt told them to sit down and be still. And they did.

  Beau smiled and watched his charges slurping up the hard candy, licking their small fingers and smiling as they enjoyed their treats. He would remain with the girls until they finished their candy, because if he didn’t, the boys would try to come and take it away from them. And more than a few were looking longingly his way.

  Beau gave them a dark, unspoken look of warning that they were not welcome. The boys remained sitting, squirming, but no longer fighting among themselves. Matt handed out one piece of candy to each of them. Beau chuckled to himself, glad he’d gotten the girls. They were far easier to work with than those wild little boys.

  He happened to lift his head and was surprised to catch Callie staring at him. He wasn’t sure what the look on her face meant, but he smiled over at her and she promptly turned and left the room.

  Beau wanted to tell her how pretty she looked this morning in her purple turtleneck sweater and dark gray cotton trousers. She wore her red hair in a long ponytail down her back, and he itched to slide his fingers through that molten crimson mass.

  His dreams had been torrid last night, and he’d awakened this morning with a painful hard-on. Even worse, he’d also awakened with an ache in his heart—for Callie. This was clearly going to be about more than sex.

  Unconsciously, he rubbed the area of his chest where his Kevlar vest rested. Callie was a complicated person, and Beau understood her distrust of men in general. Of course, getting hit on all the time was nerve-wracking, not to mention infuriating, to a woman. He remembered his father telling the boys one time how he’d met their mother. Amber had been beautiful, fawned over and chased by every boy on Black Mountain, when she was in her early twenties. Beau remembered how his father, who was a patient man, had gotten her to choose him over all her other suitors. He had treated her with respect, never tried to sneak a kiss from her, and took her on long walks instead, talking to her about what was important to her. What were her dreams? Her goals? What made her happy? What made her laugh?

  His father was a wise man, Beau decided, and he swore he would apply that same philosophy to Callie.

  “Here.”

  Looking up, he saw Callie was holding out a washcloth. “You’ve got a bunch of little girls with sticky fingers, Gardner. Clean them up so they can come and get breakfast, okay?” She smiled one of the sweetest smiles he’d ever seen.

  He grinned crookedly and thanked her. On
e by one, Beau dutifully cleaned every pair of little hands thrust up into his face. It took about ten minutes, but the girls’ mouths and hands were wiped clean of candy. He shooed them down the hall to the kitchen, and they ran like little wild horses, their hair flying behind them, giggling and laughing.

  It lifted his spirits as well. Children were innocent. They needed protection and support. Sadness moved through Beau, because all of these children had been ignored by their villages and left to starve to death. They had no place to go. If he could have, Beau would have adopted the whole brood of them, but that wasn’t reality. And it broke his heart, because their lives in this harsh corner of the world were never going to have happy endings.

  Matt was busy schooling the wayward boys, and it was clear that they were listening to him. Beau smiled to himself, watching his sergeant speak to the boys in Pashto like a native. He was a good leader, not one who used bullying tactics to get them to do what he wanted.

  Beau had seen real changes in the boys since he’d been at the orphanage, and it was all thanks to Matt. He had stopped the boys from hitting or attacking the girls, which was a huge triumph. As the last boy left and walked, instead of raced, down the hall, Beau sauntered over to Matt. The boys and girls were now integrated at the tables. These boys were going to learn to respect the girls. It was a good lesson for both genders as far as he was concerned.

  Matt pointed with his bearded chin toward the front door. It was time for another stroll around the grounds of the orphanage.

  *

  Callie groaned, sitting down in Maggie’s empty office and pushing off one of her shoes. It was three p.m., and all the children were down for their naps. Her feet were aching, and she longed to sit down and rub some of the soreness out of them.

  “Here,” Beau said, placing his M4 aside and sitting down on the stool in front of her chair. “Let me do that for you.”

  Callie hadn’t even heard him enter the office. “Don’t tell me you give foot rubs, too!” she said incredulously. Grinning gratefully, she set her shoe aside.