Rob had been in such a festive mood that he’d invited her mother, AJ, Caroline, Drew, Shane and Sydney over for a holiday toast. He’d even gotten champagne, which Pepper thought was sweet given that fact that Rob didn’t drink.
It was the first time he would be meeting her mother. Pepper had to admit she was nervous. Her mother, who was used to being the grand dame, was unpredictable. She’d been thrilled by the news that Pepper and Rob were involved. Pepper had been thrilled by the fact that her mother hadn’t found out through the tabloid story that had appeared after they’d returned from Orlando.
At the time, it had felt like a narrow escape. However, after she thought about it more, Pepper decided that Rob Macintyre could probably do no wrong in her mother’s eyes, because, after all, he was the Robert Macintyre.
If Pepper dwelled on that too long, that didn’t sit well with her, either. It dredged up the dread of turning out like her mother, who would, of course, be fine, but her definition of fine meant finding another rich man to take care of her.
The thought made shades of a panic attack loom large and angry. She would not be like her mother—or either one of her parents, for that matter.
She would take care of herself and not be left to depend on anyone. That resolution made her feel better.
Taking that one step further, she decided to completely immerse herself in the Christmas Eve spirit by giving Cody his present. Yes, she decided, she wouldn’t wait a minute longer.
“Daddy! Aunt Katie! Pepper said I could open my pr-pr-pr...” He stopped, took a deep breath and wrapped his mouth around the word. “Present,” he said resolutely. “Daddy! Aunt Katie! Come watch me open my present.”
Pepper walked over and hugged him. She kneeled down in front of him and said, “I’m so proud of you.”
She set the present on his lap and laughed as he tore into it.
Oh, to be a kid at Christmas. That’s when everything seems magical.
“A wolf. Suit!” he enunciated. “I got a wolf. Suit!” He clapped his hands together in delight, and Pepper couldn’t remember being happier. For a moment, she saw shades of Carson in him. Carson, who would forever live in her mind as six years old.
She took a deep breath. Cody was not Carson. He was going to grow up to live a full life. Despite his challenges. If he was anything like his father, he would one day get up and stomp right over what everyone said he could never do.
“Did you see the card?” she asked.
Cody shook his head.
“Well, it’s in there. Look for it. I’ll bet you can read most of it all by yourself.”
He found it and tore into it with the same gusto as he’d opened the package.
“Max!” he cheered. On the cover of the card, Pepper had done her best re-creation of Maurice Sendak’s beloved character. Cody studied it intently for a moment then opened it.
Cody cheered and roar-rrrwwd, then waved his arms like monster arms, which caused the wolf suit to fall off his lap, somehow draping itself over Pepper’s shoulder.
“Help! The wolf suit is attacking me!” she cried. That sparked another round of hysterical little-boy giggles.
She put the suit back on his lap, exchanging it for the card. She opened it and pointed to what she’d written. “Look, Cody. See what I’ve written here?”
The boy leaned in and squinted at the print, trying in earnest to read.
Pepper traced the words with her finger. “It says, Good for one wild rumpus.”
“Let’s have it now! Dad, I want to put my wolf suit on.”
“You know what, bud? We have some company stopping by to say Merry Christmas. They’re going to be here any minute. Since they’ve never met you, I don’t want them to think my Cody is a wolf. Plus, if we have the wild rumpus now, it might scare off Santa Claus.”
Cody frowned. “Hey, none of that.” Rob sang a few bars of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town,” which worked as an instant attitude adjustor.
Excitement overload.
“I’ll make a deal with you,” Rob said to his son. “You meet our company and then you can wear your wolf suit to dinner. Deal?”
“Deal!”
Pepper folded the costume, put it back in its box and set it under the family-room Christmas tree behind the other wrapped gifts.
Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang. Her mother had arrived.
Pepper took a deep breath and said a silent prayer that this wasn’t a bad idea. But what was the alternative? She certainly wasn’t going to let her mother spend Christmas Eve alone.
Rob greeted her mother with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which made her mother beam.
“Darling man,” she said. “You are even more handsome in person than you are in your pictures.”
She handed Pepper her purse. As Rob helped Marjory out of her coat she gushed to Pepper, “Sweetheart, I approve. You have no idea how I approve.”
Pepper cringed.
Really, mom?
She was at a loss for how to answer, but it didn’t matter because Marjory had already looped her arm through Rob’s and was making her way into the living room, where Rob offered her a drink and settled her onto a chair that could’ve doubled as a throne.
Well, at least Marjory was in her element.
Pepper didn’t know whether to kiss Rob or apologize in advance for her mother—a blanket apology for anything she might say or do that would cause offense or embarrassment.
Instead, she simply put her arms around Rob’s waist and whispered, “You’re wonderful.”
“Why? What did I do?”
“You know,” she said. “The way you’re charming my mother.”
“Oh, well, hey, your mother and I are already good friends.”
Pepper quirked an eyebrow at him. “Really?”
“We’ve been talking on the phone.”
Pepper laughed. “When?”
“Well, I had to invite her to the party tonight. Since I gave all of my footmen the night off, I had to get the invitation to her somehow.”
“You don’t have any footmen.”
“Oh, then it was a good thing I called her.”
A warm glow lit her from the inside out. She adored his sense of humor, the way he didn’t take himself too seriously, and now, she had to add to the list, the way he could handle her mother. Come to think about it, she adored just about everything about Rob Macintyre. A big part of her adored him because he gave her room to be herself. Room to stand on her own two feet.
The doorbell rang. The whole gang was there: AJ and Shane, Caroline and Drew and Sydney. It was so good to see them. There were kisses under the mistletoe, lots of laughter and hugging and passing around of small holiday gifts.
Rob ushered everyone into the living room, where he’d stationed an ice bucket with chilled champagne. He popped the cork and was regaling everyone with the story of Cody and his wolf suit.
“I think Pepper set the gold standard for cool Christmas presents. I think Cody would be fine if he didn’t get anything else. And that’s one of the many very cool things about Pepper, as I’m sure you all know.”
Everyone had a flute of champagne, and it suddenly dawned on Pepper that he might have purchased it for the occasion, since he didn’t drink.
She thought it was very sweet. Actually, the way he got into the holiday spirit had been her saving grace. Surrounded by all of her friends, she suddenly felt very blessed. They were her family—each and every one of them, and she didn’t need more than that.
Rob was standing next to her chair. He put one hand on her shoulder and, to Pepper’s surprise, he held a champagne flute in the other.
Good for him! He was allowed. His father was the alcoholic, not him. Pepper made a mental note not to say that out loud, because the part about h
is father probably wouldn’t translate.
“I’m so glad you all could be here tonight,” Rob said. “It a very special night. Not only is it Christmas Eve, but I’ve planned a special surprise for Pepper.”
“What?” she squeaked.
“We met three weeks ago. I was telling Marjory when I was talking to her yesterday that in a way it seems like Pepper and I have known each other all our lives. Since you’ve come into our lives I feel like life has begun again. When it’s right, it’s right.”
Marjory clapped her hands enthusiastically and all of a sudden, Pepper knew that her mother knew what was about to happen. Rob had talked to her. Had he asked her for...
Pepper saw everything unfold in slow motion. She had that peculiar sensation of standing outside herself and looking in on the action. That same sort of panic-attack feeling that she’d had in the kitchen last week, when Rob had told her she would make a good mother and she just felt the need to run—this time all she could see was her mother sitting there clapping and smiling. All Pepper could think was, I can’t be like her. I don’t want her life.
Rob set his champagne flute down.
He dropped down on one knee.
He took her left hand in his.
He pulled a small Tiffany box out of his pocket.
He slid the fat oval diamond onto her left ring finger.
She saw him mouth the words, more than she heard him say, “Pepper, would you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Because the majority of the sentence was drowned out by a deafening crash.
At once everyone was on their feet and Kate was yelling for Cody, but he was nowhere to be found. Not in the living room with the adults.
Again, in another slow-motion scene, Pepper ran behind Rob into the family room.
Cody’s wheelchair was upended. The giant tree had fallen over on top of the little boy, who lay unconscious underneath, with his little hand clutched around the wolf suit.
Chapter Fifteen
Pepper drove Kate to the hospital. They followed behind the ambulance that carried Cody. Of course, Rob had stayed by his son’s side. He insisted the others go home.
Pepper and Kate drove in silence all the way, Pepper fighting the out-of-body feeling that had settled around her when she realized that Rob was proposing, and had gone off the scales when she discovered Cody unconscious under the tree with that damn wolf suit in his hand.
Why had she given it to him?
Why had she tucked it back so far under the tree? Because she was afraid her mother would recognize it and be reminded of how one careless act from Pepper had forever torn their family apart. But her mother’s demeanor hadn’t changed when Rob had raved about Pepper’s present to Cody. Well, of course not, she knew he was going to propose.
But she couldn’t ignore the niggling voice that pointed to her that by hiding the costume under the tree, wasn’t Pepper as guilty of avoidance—of not talking about the past—as she blamed her mother of being?
Her gaze dropped to her left hand, which was gripping the steering wheel at the ten o’clock position. The huge diamond glittered and winked. She had the overwhelming urge to rip it off her finger and toss it out the window.
And she might have if she’d been able to pry her hands off the steering wheel. But they were stuck at positions ten and two as she drove like a bat out of hell through the Christmas Eve fog.
She was at least cognizant enough to realize she probably shouldn’t be driving, but then again, she shouldn’t have given Cody the costume and she shouldn’t have tucked it so far away and she shouldn’t have led Rob to believe that she was ready to make the kind of commitment he was ready for—and thus continued the downward spiral.
A ding ding sounded from the seat next to her. She glanced over to see Kate gripping her phone, reading a text. Suddenly, Kate’s hand was gripping Pepper’s arm.
“He’s awake. Oh, thank you, dear God, Cody is awake.”
Pepper said her own silent prayer but couldn’t form the words to say anything out loud.
When they finally reached the hospital, Pepper drove up to the emergency entrance to drop off Kate.
“What are you doing?” Kate asked. “Why aren’t you parking?”
“I will,” she murmured. “I want you to get in there as quick as possible so that Rob knows we’re here.”
“But I can’t let you park and walk in alone. Come on, let’s go. Safety in numbers.”
Pepper had a flashback to the night she’d met Rob, when he adamantly refused to leave her alone at the airport. What the hell was it with the Macintyres’ safety patrols? She wanted to slap herself for thinking such an ugly thought about such a kind act, but the overriding thought was, What if Rob had never driven me home that night? If we’d never met, then Cody would be home snug in his bed waiting on Santa Claus’s arrival. Not being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance on Christmas Eve.
“I am almost positive there is a valet just down the hill,” she heard herself saying. “Please, Kate, run in and let them know we’re here.”
Kate was not as persistent as her brother. She said, “Okay, but if there isn’t a valet or if it’s closed, text me and I’ll come back out and walk with you.”
Those Macintyres, they always stick together.
She saw herself nod yes. And drove away as soon as Kate stepped safely inside the hospital’s emergency room doors.
Pepper drove right past the valet. Right out of the parking lot and onto the highway with no idea where she was going.
* * *
“What is taking Pepper so long?” Rob asked. “It’s been half an hour. I can’t believe you let her walk in alone.”
Kate looked worried. “I texted her, but she didn’t answer. Maybe we don’t have a good signal in here.” She held up her phone and moved it around, as if that might magically make a difference.
“She promised she would valet-park or call me to come out and meet her so we could walk in together. Let me go out into the lobby and see if maybe they just haven’t directed her back here. I’ll be right back, Cody.”
“Okay, Aunt Katie.”
“How you doing, bud?” Rob touched his son’s arm. The boy was a touchstone that not every accident ended tragically. Cody was two for two.
He’d smacked his head pretty hard when he fell. From what he could tell when they moved the tree off his son, the tree stand had failed. Cody had probably yanked on a branch when he’d leaned forward in his chair and it had pulled the tree down on top of him. That damn wolf suit had actually cushioned his blow as it was somehow, miraculously, right under his head and kept his skull from being smashed against the travertine tiles.
He didn’t mind one bit how corny he sounded when he said it was a Christmas miracle.
Keeping it corny—because right now that was the only thing that was keeping him from breaking down—if he didn’t know better, he’d swear his boy had nine lives. Since he’d already used two of them, Rob didn’t want to test the theory again.
They were waiting for him to be taken in for tests to make sure his injuries weren’t more complicated than a concussion. They would probably keep him overnight since he’d been knocked unconscious, but all things considered, after having a fifteen-foot Christmas tree fall on him, he was lucky.
“Well, I guess you got your wild rumpus tonight after all,” Rob said.
“My head hurts,” Cody complained. “Where’s Pepper? I want her.”
Rob took out his phone and dialed her number. She picked up on the fourth ring. Just when he thought it was going to switch over to voice mail, he heard her say, “Hello?”
“Where are you? We’re worried about you.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
“Pepper, are you there?”
> “I’m here.”
“Where is here?”
Cody started crying, “I want Pepper. My head hurts.”
“I had to leave.”
Rob stood. “You left?”
Cody wailed. “I want Pepper. I want my mommy. Mommy! Mommy! I want my mommy. Pepper...”
Bad move. Way to upset Cody.
Kate stepped back into the room, and Rob motioned for her to stay with the boy so he could take the call out in the hall. The emergency room was busier than he thought it would be on Christmas Eve, and he had to walk a distance to find a place where he wouldn’t be in the way.
“Okay, I’m sorry about that, Cody was crying. He’s asking for you. He really needs you here right now.”
“Rob, I know this is the worst possible time, but I can’t do this.”
“What are you talking about?” Now he was getting mad. “You’re damn right it’s not the time to do this. Not when my son is in the emergency room.”
“It’s my fault.” Her voice sounded weird. Sort of distant. Like maybe she didn’t understand what she was saying. Something wasn’t right, and his anger morphed into concern.
“It’s not your fault. Why would you say that?”
“It’s like déjà vu.” Her voice was definitely shaky. “It’s like Carson all over again. I’m no good for him or for you.”
“Oh, my God, please don’t do this now. Not now. Cody is asking for you. He needs you. Please come back to the hospital.”
“I can’t. I can’t.”
“Dammit, this isn’t about you, Pepper. Cody needs you. He’s five years old. You don’t have to stick around after tonight if you can’t handle it, but at least have the common decency to help a child when he needs you.”
It was the engagement ring. Too much too fast. He might feel like an idiot, but right now this wasn’t about him, either.
“I caused the accident that killed my brother, Rob.” Now she was sobbing. “We weren’t supposed to take the horses out by ourselves. We were only six years old, but I made him. I dared him. He fell. I’ve got to go.”
Texas Christmas Page 14
