Sky

by Ondine Sherman

  ‘Look, it wasn’t like you think, really. Firstly, we were nineteen, still exploring our bodies, having some fun and—

  ‘Fun?’ I sit up straight. ‘Is it fun to betray your best friend? Yeah, what happy times sneaking around behind the back of someone who trusts you.’

  ‘We weren’t exactly best friends then, and she and Adam weren’t even going out properly,’ Melody pleads. ‘And Eli wouldn’t have even cared.’

  ‘If it wasn’t a big deal, why did you lie to her?’

  ‘I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell her. She got pregnant, and, I don’t know if you know, pregnant ladies can be a little …’ she does the universal crazy sign. ‘Oops, sorry, Paula, I’m sure you’re not like that. Anyway, she was full of hormones. And then you came along and she chose to cut off ties with your father. We had become good friends by then, and if I’d told her, she would have been even angrier at him, and I still hoped she’d come around and you’d end up having some kind of relationship with your father.’

  ‘Right. You did it for selfless reasons, what a saint,’ I say. ‘Not because you were chicken-shit scared.’

  ‘I was scared,’ Melody says, ‘and I loved Eli and didn’t want to take a chance it would muck up our friendship. But you’re right, I’m not proud of it. Honesty is always the best policy.’

  I slump into the couch and don’t reply. If she’s looking for forgiveness it’s not going to happen.

  ‘Really, I am sorry you’re hurt,’ Melody reaches out to put her hand on my cheek.

  ‘Don’t,’ I say.

  ‘Sky.’ Her voice is forlorn but I don’t care.

  ‘Melody and I have had a really good, long chat and sorted out our past issues,’ Paula says. ‘I know you need more time to talk. But she has some news for you, sweetie. Are you ready to hear?’

  ‘Go on,’ I say, looking at Melody. ‘Tell me who else you slept with. Do I have a secret hot uncle you couldn’t keep your hands off or something? No more lies. It’s our new family policy.’

  ‘About that tea? I could do with a cuppa now,’ Melody says to Paula. I notice her eyes are a little watery but I don’t care at all. ‘But something herbal, do you have rooibos?’

  Paula shakes her head.

  ‘Elderberry or valerian, even ginger?’

  ‘Oh my God.’ I say. ‘You can’t be serious.’

  ‘No, sorry,’ Paula says, ‘only some garden mint if you want.’

  ‘Okay, just hot water and a wedge of lemon for me,’ Melody turns her attention back to me as Paula gets up.

  ‘I know you’re angry, and we have much more to talk about. But there really is something I need to tell you.’ Melody puts her hands together in a prayer position and raises them to her lips. Does she need divine intervention? She’s so dramatic. I just want her to get to the point.

  ‘Adam and I have been in touch.’

  ‘What! You’re talking to my father? For how long? Why didn’t you tell me?’ I am nearly shouting now.

  ‘Hold on. So, this is what happened,’ Melody takes a long breath, closing her eyes for a moment before continuing.

  ‘He lives in America, although you probably knew that. He’s never been on social media, and a friend of his convinced him to open a Facebook account so they could use the messenger service or whatever, so he started one, and you know how when you do that you get all those friend recommendations?’

  ‘No,’ I say, ‘I’m not on it.’

  ‘Well, you do. You start to connect with friends and those friends have friends that are then recommended to you. He saw my profile picture. And it happens to be the one with Eli and you in it. The three of us are doing a selfie, remember at the beach a while back? You look really pretty in that one, obviously you always look pretty.’ She smiles but I ignore the compliment.

  ‘He recognised me. And more importantly, he recognised Eli and then knew who you were.’

  ‘Shit. Then what?’ I ask in a whisper.

  ‘He “friended” me and I accepted his friendship. He sent me a direct message, saying he’d tried for a long time to find you and Eli but never found an address or phone number. It must have been when Eli moved and delisted herself, and then she used that weird name on social media, so even if he’d tried to search from a friend’s profile or something, he wouldn’t have found her.’

  ‘And? What did he say?’

  ‘He asked how you both were. And I told him everything. He was totally shocked. Eli was so young; no one would expect a forty-something healthy woman to suddenly … I still can’t believe she is gone,’ Melody puts her face in her hands.

  ‘Melody,’ I say, between gritted teeth. ‘Just tell me what he said.’

  She pulls herself together. ‘He wants to see you. Desperately. I told him how you were living here with Paula and that your summer holidays were going to start soon …’

  ‘Soon? When was this?’

  ‘About six weeks ago, before you finished school. But then I went to the retreat and was offline and didn’t see my mail until later.’

  ‘Let me get this straight. My father, who I’ve never met, is trying to contact me, and you decide to go offline and not even let me know. You are so selfish, Melody. I can’t even …’ I start petting Bella. I’m so stressed out I don’t know what else to do.

  ‘It was bad timing, I’m sorry, Sky. But anyway, listen, when I got home yesterday, this was waiting for me, and I came straight here.’

  Melody opens a large colourful hemp sack at her feet. She digs around as Paula returns with tea and biscuits on a tray.

  ‘Here,’ Melody pulls out an envelope, handing it to me. ‘He said that an email didn’t seem right under the circumstances. He wrote you a letter, and there’s also …’

  While she’s talking, I tug at a thin plastic wallet with the name of some travel company.

  ‘Tickets to Alaska.’ she says.

  ‘Oh my God,’ I pull out the papers. The departure date is in three days. ‘For me?’ I ask, already knowing the answer.

  ‘Actually, for both of us. Business class and everything,’ she says. ‘He messaged suggesting I come along to help you out so it’s not such a shock. I haven’t replied yet. Wanted to see you first. I can say no. Or I’ll tell him to put Paula’s name down instead, or Dave’s. Whatever you want, Sky. Totally up to you.’

  I open the envelope of the letter, relieved to see it’s still sealed and Melody hasn’t read it. His writing is scrawled, but not too hard to read.

  Dear Sky, I’m overwhelmed by emotion, there’s so much to say but I don’t know where to start. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to get in touch, how much you are in my thoughts and heart every day. But I didn’t know how, and then, didn’t know if I should …

  I look up at Paula, my eyes brimming with tears.

  Paula puts her hand on mine. ‘Are you okay?’

  I nod, turning back to the letter.

  Melody told me about Eleanor’s passing, and I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. And sorry for not being there for you. I ran away like the stupid idiot I was sixteen years ago. I was confused, scared and convinced you’d both be better off without me. I should never have left like that, I realise that now. I’ve missed seeing you grow up and we’ll never get that time back. Sky, I’ve made so many mistakes. But I want to get to know you. Please come and see me in Alaska now that you’re on vacation. I hope you will, but it’s also okay if you don’t. I’ll understand.

  I stare at the page, unable to speak. Paula gets up to sit next to me, squashing me on the couch. ‘It’s such a big shock, take as long as you need. Here,’ she passes me my tea.

  I hold the mug, gazing into the hot brown liquid. Images storm through my head, flashing like lightning: Oliver, Mum, Chirp, Bella, Lucy, Melody, Dave, Paula, my father, Oliver, and Oliver, again and again. Leaving for Alaska now? I don’t want to leave Oliver, we’ve only just started. And I promised Dave, and Chirp may not survive the summer. And …

  ‘What are you
thinking, sweetie?’ Paula squeezes my shoulder.

  ‘You’re going to go, right?’ Melody asks. ‘Sky, it’s your father. There’s a ticket with your name on it. You have to go.’

  Do I have to? Do I have to leave my newfound happiness just to meet some deadbeat dad who never got it together to find me in fifteen years? Mum said he was a loser, but, then again, what if she got it wrong? He sounds decent enough and I’ll never know who he is if I don’t meet him. He did try to look for me. But freezing cold Alaska, really? That’s the other side of the world, a long way to travel for someone I don’t know. He did buy the tickets, expensive too, that’s a big deal, do I owe it to him to go and see him? My head is spinning.

  I stare at the tickets hoping that an answer will magically appear.

  What should I do?

  Acknowledgements

  My daughter, Jasmine, was an invaluable and essential writing partner. She helped brainstorm ideas, workshop crazy plot twists, correct punctuation, delete boring sentences and fix my awkward teen-speak: thanks, ‘Noodles’ – you’re the best! Thank you to my husband, Dror, for being a solid rock of support and encouragement through thick and thin. My twin boys, Dov and Lev, fill me with joy and love. My parents, Gene and Brian, brother Emile and sister-in-law Caroline, thank you for all your support and feedback.

  Today, I have rescue hens of my own but as I started writing I relied on the insights of chicken-rescuers Bede Carmody (A Poultry Place) and Gaya Goldberg (Anonymous) to help me build Chirp’s character. Dr K-lynn Smith (Macquarie University), helped ensure my chicken science was correct; thanks a million.

  Thanks to Julie Gray who is an excellent story editor as well as a creative and inspiring person. Jody Lee was my wonderful editor from Kit Carstairs’ The Manuscript Agency. Thank you also to my Raanana writing group, Barry Sechos and to my ‘test’ readers – Noa and Ronen Jaffa and Dana Murgraff.

  Sabine Jamieson, thank you for being our beautiful cover model and bringing your grandmother Sandra’s sweet doggy Bella too. Thank you Douglas Frost for the photography.

  My deepest gratitude to Lou Johnson from The Author People for believing in me and this story. I am so thankful and look forward to many more years of working together.

  Thank you to also to Lou's lovely daughter, Ella, for her helpful feedback and insights.

  Finally, thank you to YOU, my lovely readers. This is my first novel and I hope to write many more.

  All profits I make from book sales of Sky will also go to the organisation I co-founded with my father, Voiceless, the animal protection institute, so just by buying or reading this book you are also making a difference.

  I am excited to hear from you and hear your thoughts and opinions! You can find me easily via my author website ondinesherman.com and my blog, Franimals www.franimals.org and of course my organisation, Voiceless www.voiceless.org.au. I’m also on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

  Send me a message anytime

  Ondine Sherman

  Ondine is a life-long animal advocate, and is passionate about promoting respect and compassion for all creatures. In 2004, she and her father, Brian Sherman AM, founded Voiceless; the organisation is now one of Australia’s leading animal protection groups. And Ondine’s social-media platform, Franimals, has become a popular community for animal-loving teens across the globe.

  Ondine’s first book, The Miracle of Love, was published in 2013 and is an intimate account of her experiences as the mother of beautiful identical twin boys who have a rare genetic disorder. Ondine’s journey with her boys has ultimately led to love, hope and acceptance.

  Ondine grew up in Sydney and now lives in Tel Aviv with her husband and three children. Her three mischievous street cats, two loyal dogs and a sweet ex-battery chicken all keep her extraordinarily entertained.

  Keep up-to-date with Ondine at

  www.ondinesherman.com

  www.theauthorpeople.com/ondine-sherman