Coletti Warlords: Just Desserts

by Gail Koger

  I bent down and held out my hand to the babies. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Chittering happily, the kids scurried up my arm. I grinned as they snuggled against my neck, their little tongues raining kisses on my chin. I stroked them. “Love you too.”

  “Saved us.”

  “You do have a knack for getting into trouble.”

  “Like you.”

  “True.” I eyed Grandma warily. I sure hoped she was friendly. Otherwise, it was going to get nasty fast. I plastered a smile on my face. “I’m Kaylee, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  Intelligent emerald eyes surveyed me from head to toe, and a loud buzzing filled my head. Everything spun dizzily for a moment; then I heard her say, “I am Tae. I owe you my life and those of Woo’s children.”

  “You don’t owe me anything. Blasting the hell out of the Kotsors is very satisfying.” Shit, that came out wrong. “Uh, no offense meant, but I’m having a bit of a problem coping with all the wildlife.”

  Tae crawled up the webbing. “We frighten you?”

  “Kinda. Sorta. I’m not real fond of eight-legged critters. Except for the kids. They’re adorable, and they’ve been such a big help. We have a bargain. I keep the Kotsors from eating them, and they keep the insects from eating me. A win-win situation.” I tickled one of them. “Huh, cutie?” The little guy giggled. Spiders were ticklish? Who knew?

  “You are a strange humanoid.”

  “I am one of a kind. How did you end up as Fatso’s guest?”

  “I was searching for Woo and her children when the fat one caught me. A most unpleasant encounter.”

  “I bet it was.”

  The bartender grunted as he shot his wad. His milky yellow semen ran down the prostitute’s legs.

  My stomach rolled. “Time to leave.”

  Tae dropped on my shoulder. I stiffened. I could do this. I really could. If only Talree could see me now, he would be so proud. Nah, he be pissed. Real pissed. I climbed out of the terrarium.

  Fatso pulled his pants up and turned. His gaze zeroed in on me.

  I waved all friendly like.

  The kids did too.

  Fatso’s eyes bulged.

  I guess it wasn’t every day he saw a human female with spiders hanging all over her. Oh yeah, and he probably wasn’t happy with the Kotsor bits decorating his terrarium.

  “You fucking bitch! You killed Buddy.”

  Buddy? Really? “So?”

  “Now you die,” he screamed, reaching for a rifle.

  “Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.” I did a fast draw and vaporized his weapon with my laser pistol. I guess Fatso was too drunk to notice I was armed.

  The furious bartender lumbered toward me. “I’m going to give you a beating you will never forget.”

  Seriously? The guy could barely walk. “Give it up. You’d never catch me.”

  Gasping for breath, Fatso stopped and smirked. “I will give a hundred credits to anyone who kills the female.”

  Did I have a big mouth or what?

  A squat, smashed-nosed humanoid stepped in front of the doorway and grinned. “Deal.”

  Yikes. He seriously needed some dental work and a boatload of floss to get the whatever out of his front teeth.

  Three lizard men pushed away from their table. The larger one snarled, “Your mate killed our brothers. Now we kill you.”

  “Anyone else want a piece of me?” I cracked my knuckles and looked around the bar. “No? You are aware the odds are in my favor?”

  The men burst into laughter.

  I stroked the trembling baby Tabors. “Do you kids know how to find our room again?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. I want you to go there as fast as you can. Talree will protect you and your grandmother.”

  Tae’s horrified astonishment was obvious. “You want to fight them?”

  “You betcha. I need to vent, and there’s nothing like a good fight to get rid of all that built-up hostility.”

  The idiots started toward me.

  I held out my right arm. “Go.”

  Tae and the kids scurried down my arm and up the wall.

  The smashed-nosed humanoid charged me. I stepped to the side and rammed my fist into his stomach. As he doubled over, I hooked my left foot behind his heel and in a fast sweep maneuver, knocked him flat. Before dumbass could get up, I kicked him in the face.

  I grabbed a metal pole off the wall and twirled it around my head. “You guys ever heard of Nin-po?”

  Fatso yelled, “Kill the bitch!”

  The lizards rushed me.

  “Guess not.” I swung the pole, catching the first one square in the face. His head snapped back, and he went down hard.

  I swung again and nailed the second one in the balls. He doubled over with a gagging squeal. A follow-up blow to the base of the skull sent him crashing to the sticky floor.

  The third yanked out his laser pistol.

  “Shit.” I raised my hands. “Easy there.”

  A web ball engulfed his head. Making frantic grunting noises, the lizard tried to free himself.

  “Thanks, Tae.”

  “My pleasure.”

  I put the scaly punk out of his misery with a hard blow to the back of the head.

  “Anyone else think they can take me?”

  Fatso gasped in terror and fled out the back door.

  “Guess not.” My Spidey sense shrieked a warning. I spun around and froze. Oh, crap.

  Talree stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest and wearing his best scary face. “Enjoying yourself?”

  “Yep. Best fun I’ve had in ages.”

  He stalked me like a predatory beast. “You are never to leave my side without permission.”

  “Not even to go to the bathroom? That seems a little harsh.”

  Menace radiated from Talree as he enunciated clearly, “You are never to leave my side without permission. Do you understand me?”

  For a moment, I considered whacking him with the pole. I could get in a few good licks before he took me down.

  Talree’s eyes narrowed, his arms dropped to his sides, and his stance shifted.

  Ha. I had him worried.

  Tae added her two cents. “Attacking a Warlord is never a good idea.”

  “Not unless you’re incredibly stupid and suicidal.” I placed the pole on the bar. “Let’s get something straight, buster. I don’t take orders from you. I make my own decisions.”

  “Explain this decision.”

  He was starting to get on my last nerve. “Fine. The bartender captured my kids and was going to feed them and their grandmother to the biggest friggin’ Kotsor I’ve ever seen. I rescued them and fried the eight-legged freak. That pissed off Fatso. He offered a hundred credits to anyone who killed me.” I gestured to the groaning trappers. “And I kicked their asses. End of story.”

  Talree’s gaze scanned the room before settling on Tae. “Introduce me.”

  “Tae, this is Talree, the marauding Warlord. Talree this is Tae, the kids’ grandmother.”

  Talree clotheslined a fourth lizard as he rushed into the room, dropping him like a rock. “It is an honor to meet a Tabor. Much has been said about your males’ battle skills.”

  I muttered under my breath, "Just kill me now."

  “The honor is mine,” Tae responded politely.

  The smashed-nosed humanoid tried to crawl away. Talree grabbed him and tossed him right through the friggin’ wall and into the swamp below.

  My jaw dropped.

  There was a loud splash.

  The Afulas roared, and the smashed-nosed humanoid began to scream.

  Color me impressed. Okay, the metal was corroded, but still. Wow!

  One by one, Talree picked up the lizards and chucked them out the hole.

  Okeydokey, someone was a bit worked up.

  The babies chittered in alarm, and I could sense Tae’s growing fear that we were next.

  “Calm down, big guy.”
<
br />   Talree roared. “Calm down? You want me to calm down?”

  “Yeah, I had the situation handled.”

  “You could have been killed.”

  “But I wasn’t.”

  “In the future, I deal with all problems. Not you.”

  My temper flared to life. “Listen, fang boy, if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s fight.”

  “I forbid it.”

  I literally saw red. “Forbid?” I climbed up on a nearby chair and looked him dead in the eye. “I won’t be treated like some fluff-brained twit.” I punched him in the chest. “I’m a cop. A very good cop. I put my life on the line every fucking day to protect men, women, and children from the monsters. What part of that don’t you get?”

  With a growl, Talree snatched me off the chair. “You will obey me.”

  Oh shit! His eyes were doing the glowy thing. I kissed him.

  His tongue delved into my mouth, possessing me, tasting me.

  That was it. I stroked his hair. Make the nasty beast go away.

  Talree stiffened and pulled away. “You’re trying to manipulate me.”

  “Who, me?”

  “You will obey me.”

  Fat chance. “You know what you need?”

  Talree’s mouth tightened. “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

  “You need one of those blow-up dolls you can fuck. It’ll never talk back, and it’ll stay where you put it.” I tried to wiggle out of his grip. “I’m nothing to you but a walking blood bank and whore.”

  The red glow faded from his eyes. “I now understand your brothers’ continual bad tempers. Keeping you alive is a full-time job.”

  I shoved against his chest. “Not funny. So I attract trouble. Big deal.”

  “It’s a very big deal.”

  “If you had returned me to Earth like I asked, you wouldn’t have to deal with me. Now would you?”

  “Leaving you behind was never an option.”

  I felt him rummaging around in my head. “Hey, that tickles.”

  A satisfied smile curled Talree’s mouth. “On Earth before approaching an armed suspect, a police officer calls for backup. Correct?”

  Busted. “Yeah. So?”

  “You will tell me when you sense trouble. I am your backup and partner.” He shook me. “Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir.” God, he was worse than my family.

  “You are never to call yourself a whore again. You are my life. My mate. If anything happened to you, the beast would be unleashed. I must keep you safe.” Talree nuzzled my neck. “Blood bank you’ll have to live with.”

  I nipped his ear. “You do know life doesn’t come with any guarantees? I mean, you can get killed at any time. Life is dangerous, and it’s only a matter of time before the Rodan find us.”

  My Siren senses went on red alert. I reached out mentally, searching for the source of the danger. Oh, crap. “Honey, we’ve got a big problem heading our way.”

  Glaring like death himself, Talree nodded. “It seems the trappers did not heed my warning.”

  “Yeah, all fifty of them. Running is good.”

  “Is it?” Talree held out his arm to Tae and the kids. “We must leave.”

  The kids scooted up his arm and, dang it, settled on my head. To my relief, Tae perched on his shoulder.

  The trappers stormed in.

  We popped out.

  Chapter Nine

  An instant later, we appeared on the deck of a small, rusty barge. The string of running lights strung along the hull had attracted a cloud of flying insects.

  Chittering in excitement, the kids and Tae jumped off and started chowing down.

  “They’re worth their weight in gold.”

  Talree dumped me on my feet and thrust a key into my hand. “Do not leave the barge.”

  Crap. His eyes were glowing again. The trappers’ actions gave him the perfect excuse to vent all his pent-up rage. “You can’t take on fifty men by yourself.”

  “I am Coletti.”

  “Which is synonymous with brain-dead?”

  “I’ll be back.” He teleported.

  “You’re not the fucking Terminator either!” I shouted after him. God, he was going to do something stupid. I just knew it. The thought of him being hurt or killed made me go cold with fear. If I lost him… My stomach knotted. I would die too. He was the other half of my soul. Oh, yay. I was mated for life to that bossy, suicidal jerk.

  I headed for the dock. I had to stop him before he got himself killed.

  “Stay on the barge,” Talree snarled in my head.

  “I’m your partner. I’m not going to stand idly by while you take on that horde of murdering bandits by yourself.”

  His mind ensnared mine. “Go inside the cabin, and wait for me.”

  To my utter horror, I had to follow his commands. “This is unforgivable.”

  “It is necessary to keep you safe.”

  “There isn’t anyplace safe on this mud ball. Something could crawl out of the swamp and eat me while you’re off playing Master of the Universe.”

  Talree’s growl echoed in my head. “This is not a game.”

  “And you’re not bulletproof.”

  “Enough! You will do as I say.”

  Once I had unlocked the cabin and gone inside, Talree snapped, “Stay.”

  I fought against his control. “I’m not a fucking dog.”

  “Do not push me now. You will not like the consequences.”

  “Let go of me.” I tried to break free. Intense pain drove me to my knees. “Stop! You’re hurting me.”

  “This battle is mine, and you will stay out of it. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes.” The pain vanished. A tremor shook me. “If you think I’m going to live like this, think again. I’m a cop. I was trained to kill the bogeyman, not stand in the corner and scream hysterically. So go ahead and do your Lone Ranger act, but don’t you ever chew my ass again for doing the same thing.”

  “A Warlord does not let an attack go unanswered.” Talree broke the link.

  “Yippee-ki-yay.” I kicked the wall. Why did men always have to prove who had the biggest balls?

  I surveyed my new living space. On one wall was a tiny galley complete with a refrigerator and stove. The other wall held an itty-bitty bathroom and storage unit. At the back of the cabin was a bed. Which my oh-so-lovable mate would not be sharing.

  The door opened.

  My hand dropped to my laser pistol.

  Tae and the kids came in.

  Huh? How in the hell had they managed to open the door? Maybe their legs were more nimble than I thought. “You get enough to eat?”

  “Yes, thank you.” Tae used a string of webbing to close the door behind them.

  God, did I need a drink. I opened the refrigerator. It was full of beer, fruit, and vegetables. Imagine that. Talree had filled it with everything I liked. I grabbed a beer and plopped down on the bed. Little red tick things scurried toward me.

  With a shriek, I jumped back up. “Sic ’em, kids!”

  My precious babies quickly sucked the ticks up.

  I carefully surveyed the bed before sitting back down. “So, girlfriend, are your males bossy pricks like mine?”

  “They can be, but if they make us angry, we just eat them,” Tae answered.

  I gaped at her. “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  The babies giggled.

  “That’s what I keep telling Datlow, my bossy prick of a mate.”

  I laughed. Who knew spiders had a sense of humor?

  Tae snagged a glow bug and quickly drained it. “Why did you come to our world?”

  “It wasn’t by choice, believe me. I’ll give you the short version. Our ship was damaged in a firefight with the Rodan, and we crash-landed here.”

  “Start at the beginning,” Tae instructed.

  It would keep my mind off Talree’s suicidal tendencies. “I’m from Earth, a planet in the Milky Way galaxy.
Five years ago, the Tai-Kok found our world.” I shot her mental images of their savage attacks.

  “They have much in common with the Kotsors.”

  “Both are relentless monsters.”

  Tae’s tongue shot out and snatched a bug out of midair. “Your military was able to stop the Tai-Kok?”

  “Oh, hell no. They slaughtered millions of us. Even then, some of our leaders thought we could negotiate a truce with them. All we needed to do was sit down and talk about our differences. What a joke. The Tai-Kok ate the peace delegates on live television.

  “That’s when truth sank in. We fought or we died. The first couple of years, a lot of us were butchered. Things changed when we managed to bring down one of the Tai-Kok ships. We salvaged their technology and have been using it against them ever since.”

  Tae crawled onto the bed. “You lost kinsmen?”

  A single tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered that horrible day. “My parents.”

  “I grieve with you.”

  The kids snuggled on my lap. I stroked them. “I miss them so much.”

  “The dead are never forgotten. Is that where you met your Warlord?”

  “No. I met him on a Rodan ship where he was being held prisoner. I had gotten myself captured, and they threw me in his cell as dinner.”

  A thunderous explosion shook the barge.

  I looked out the tiny window. A rippling fireball engulfed the Kotsor Bar.

  Warlords did like blowing stuff up. I linked with my murderous mate. Through his eyes I could see the trading post deck littered with bodies. The prostitutes were cowering in a corner. Shit! Shit! Shit! The beast was in control. Its need to kill drove Talree.

  He had to be stopped. But how? Sex? It had worked pretty well so far. But I couldn’t get anywhere close to my mate. Or could I? Talree was an expert at mental sex. All I had to do was borrow some of his expertise. Scrolling through his memories, I found one of him in a whorehouse. Seemed he was a regular there. Go figure. Talree’s favorite was a skanky, blue-skinned female with a long, lizard-like tongue. If the bastard touched her again, he was a dead man. Lizard girl had a very talented tongue, and her specialty was blowjobs. Yeow! She got Talree off in record time.

  I mentally duplicated her actions.

  Poof! Talree appeared in front of me, his body shaking with need.