Dark Master (Dark Masters Book 1)

by Shana Vanterpool

  “Of course not.”

  “She’d kill you both.”

  “I know, okay? I know what Pyper would do if she found out about Vega and me. I already suffered through this guilt fourteen years ago. It’s no longer an issue and I refuse to go down that path again.”

  He was such a … “Dickhead.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. You’re a dickhead.”

  He surprised me by chuckling. “A dickhead? Is that really what you think of me?” He grinned, and even though I was irritated, it was such a beautiful thing to look at. Smiling smoothed out his hard places, leaving him charming and addicting. “Well, as long as it’s my dick you’re concerned with, I suppose I’ll let it slide.”

  In response, I took the toilet paper wrapped plug out and threw it at him, hitting him in his chest. He grabbed it up, not needing to unravel it to know what it was. Master knew a weapon when he felt one.

  “Sally lent you a pair of panties?” He tucked the plug into his front pocket. “I must say, that’s a turn off.”

  I lifted my skirt, touching my mound through the light blue lace. My sex peeked through the tiny holes of the lace, pale on blue with hints of pink. “Really? I thought they were cute.”

  A low hum sounded from his chest and the Lexus slowed down. “I’ll give you a pass for tonight’s transgressions if you put the balls back in. Otherwise, playing tonight is out.”

  “We need to talk.”

  “Shh,” he hushed. “No talking. After that mess of a night, I just want to disappear in you. Take your heels off and prop one foot on the dashboard.”

  How could I deny him that? I wanted to disappear in him too. I kicked my pumps off and rested my heel on the dash. “Turn off’s coming up.”

  He drove past the turn off for his place without stopping. “Take the balls from the center console and put them into your mouth one at a time until they’re warmed and lubricated.”

  The pink balls were heavy and cold in my mouth. He needed control right now and I needed him. I twirled my tongue around them both until they were warmed and slick. He glanced at me occasionally, taking his eyes off the road long enough to watch my lips.

  “Peel your panties to the side. Leave the balls in your mouth,” he ordered, when I popped one out. “Stroke yourself until your pussy is wet. And don’t be stingy. Tell me what you’re doing, what you see. How it feels to have your fingers in your pretty tight cunt.”

  I hooked my finger under my panties and pulled them to the side, lifting my ass so they wouldn’t slide. My pussy was already glistening, pale and pink. I slid one ball into my cheek so I could talk around the intrusion. “My pussy’s glistening around my entrance.”

  He groaned.

  “I’m slipping my fingers between my folds and stroking my slit.” My wetness made a gushing noise and he hummed deeply in response. I swirled my fingers around, creating a wet slick noise for him.

  “You make me so wet, Jaxon. No one’s ever made me this wet before. This hungry. You even look at me, and my clit responds. It’s like my pussy was made for you.”

  “Shit,” he cursed, his speed dipping on the highway so he could peer between my legs. “Spread your pussy for me. I want to see all of you.”

  I fondled my slick lips and spread them for him, showing him right where I wanted his cock. “Doesn’t it look yummy? So pink and wet.”

  My beast was caged, writhing and gnashing his teeth. I felt powerful with the effect I had on him.

  “I love feeling your cock slam into me. The pain, the tightness, the feeling of my pussy clamping around you.” I inserted two fingers for a moment to drive him wild, and then I brought them to my lips, sucking my juices with heavy-lidded eyes. I tasted sweet and light, and it shocked me by how much I truly enjoyed it. It felt heady to love my body sexually as much as I loved his. “Would you like a taste?”

  In response, he opened his mouth.

  I fingered myself deeply, wanting to make them taste completely of me. When I brought them close enough, he lunged, taking all of me into his mouth; the Lexus swerved. He lapped and sucked, biting me as he tried to keep the steering wheel aligned, his lust-laden eyes darting from the road and to me alarmingly fast.

  He was losing control. And I wondered if he felt how I felt, like giving up his control was finding every bit he’d ever lost.

  Giving in, his eyes closed and the Lexus slowed further. Cars honked and sped around us. He sucked on me hectically, losing himself in my taste. When his eyes opened, they were demonic, teeming with his rabid hunger.

  My belly filled with heat.

  “Sit back and drive. I’ll tell you what I’m doing.” I took my fingers back and stroked my slit once more. “I’m rubbing my pussy with my fingers covered in your drool. It’s so sexy knowing it’s you all over me.” I made myself shine with him. “May I put the balls in now?”

  He grunted.

  I pulled on the string joining them and took the first ball from my mouth, pushing them into me carefully. The weight was perfection. My inner muscles squeezed around the heaviness, giving me some relief at the same time they made me ache. The lust sizzled through my veins. I was awash in it, handing myself over.

  His hand left the steering wheel and settled between my thighs. I watched in infatuation as his large manly fingers massaged my clit. They worked me. My head tossed back and I met the eyes of a trucker beside us. I was so far gone I didn’t mind him watching. It only heightened my sensations. I scooted closer, letting him get a better look at Jaxon working my clit.

  He chuckled. “You’re going to kill the son of a bitch. I like knowing he’s watching me get you off. He’ll never get you. Because you’re fucking mine, aren’t you, Miya?”

  “Yours,” I managed, my fingers clutching at the window; they slid down the cool glass, leaving a damp trail of lust behind.

  “Say it again.”

  “I’m yours, Master.” I came so fucking hard my teeth dug into my bottom lip and my head fell forward, my stomach and thighs quivering.

  Jaxon sped up and switched lanes, leaving the trucker behind without letting him see the end. “You’re such a bad girl, Miya. Master’s pleased.”

  “Mmm,” I mumbled, trying to find my breath. My words.

  “Put your panties back in place. And sit back.”

  I was so limp and sated I could only mewl. “I’m super thirsty.” I licked my raw bottom lip.

  He cast me an incredulous glance. “Just thirsty?”

  “And tired.” I let my head fall back, the warmth of the heater brushing my thighs. “I want something sweet to eat. Like an entire cake. Ohh, and something chocolaty. Like cake. Oh, Jaxon, what about a chocolate cake?”

  His incredulous gaze turned amused. “You sound committed. Who am I to get in the way of a woman and her desire for cake?”

  I smiled, reaching for him. I wanted to touch him. I pulled his arm until I got his hand, cradling it in my lap. I pressed our palms together and let his large fingers swallow mine. He held my hand tightly, a warmth in him I never found anywhere else.

  “I’ll stop and run in.” He put the Lexus in park in front of a supermarket and got out.

  Snow fell from the sky, falling slowly toward earth. A mother carrying a toddler ran for her car and an older man struggled to get his cart over a speed bump, his shoulders hunched from the cold.

  Jaxon jogged over and spoke to the older man, saying something that made him smile. He took the cart and took control, pushing it while the man led him to his car. I watched in the rearview mirror as he loaded the groceries into the back and helped the man into his seat. It was one of the sweetest things I’d ever seen him do. My heart swelled.

  But when he walked past the car, he met my gaze, and he didn’t look warm. He just looked like himself.

  Gorgeous, tall, dark, and consuming.

  There were so many parts to him. He thought there was only one, the monster. But Jaxon was wrong.


  The monster was only one part to his incredible and beautiful whole.

  22.

  “Not in the car,” he groaned, but it was too late.

  I tore open the triple chocolate cake he’d bought and dug in with my fingers, plunging them into the soft rich dough. The smell of chocolate made my toes curl. I brought the cake to my mouth and shoved it in. Deep rich dark chocolate melted with the ganache frosting. He’d picked one of the richest cakes he could, appealing to every part of me.

  He knew me. The hungry parts, the missing parts, the parts of me he’d been the only one to bring out. He fed as he hurt, creating an intoxicatingly damaging addiction that burned in my blood.

  “You’re terrible.” He chuckled as he drove, shaking his head. “There’s water in the bag. Not that you noticed.”

  “Why am I so hungry?”

  “Pot gives you the munchies. I’m concerned that Sally’s smoking dope.”

  I licked my fingers. “It’s just weed.”

  “It’s just weed now. That’s how it starts. That’s how it started for me anyway. I got high my first time when I was eleven.” His tone darkened. “It was an epiphany, my first high. It was the first time I could exist as myself and not suffer.”

  I felt ridiculous suddenly. Covered in chocolate cake as he spoke of his pain. “That’s really young.” He was still a baby at eleven. But then again so was I when Gus … I swallowed hard, a blast of terror and heartache making the cake lodge in my throat. No. I didn’t think his name and I didn’t think about that period. Not happening. I closed the cake and put it back in the bag, curling my sticky fingers into fists.

  “We were both young,” he murmured, guessing where my thoughts were because love had bound our souls. “Too young. Now we are adults. But that does little for the kids in us.”

  I nodded sadly. “Can I have your hand again?”

  He gave it to me immediately, like he wanted mine too. We tangled our fingers and held on to each other; the pain in our souls threatened to take us away. My sticky fingers gripped his desperately. “I don’t like thinking about that. Why isn’t it going away? It always goes away.” I closed my eyes shut tightly and thought about Jaxon’s hand, his presence, the faint hint of his laundry soap wafting from his arm.

  It didn’t work. My brain was still mush and it was working too hard to sift through my flight or fight responses and find the real threat. The real threat was my memories. I couldn’t escape those. When we got home, I was so relieved. It was the first time I saw Jaxon’s forest mansion as my own.

  “We live together,” I said softly, clinging to his hand as he led me up the stairs to the deck and front door.

  “No more pot for you.” He took out his new gold key and unlocked the front door.

  He got a giggle out of me. “No, I mean, we live together. Like a couple.”

  “You like the idea of living with me?” He wound his arm around my waist in the open doorway and brought me close, smiling crookedly.

  “Yes.” I kissed the corner of his mouth, loving that smile so much it helped chase away my demons.

  “We’ll go change your address tomorrow. Make it official. Make us official. We’re really doing this?” There was a question in his voice, a fear in his heart. “What happens when I tell you my secret, Miya? What happens when I want you more than life? And I tell you my secret and you can’t look at me any longer without seeing a victim? What happens to us?” He grabbed up my face. “What happens to me if there is no you?”

  I wondered if thinking of our pasts reminded him that I did not in fact know his, and he knew mine. But all that had done for me was make me yearn for him more. He was my happy place. “Jaxon, do you know what I want all day and all night?”

  “What?” His thumbs stroked my cheeks, the soft warm pads of his fingers sending tingles down my spine.

  “You. I want you, Jaxon. I’ve never wanted anything in my life until I met you. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to leave you. I won’t ever see a victim and I won’t ever want anything but you. You have to trust me, my dark master, the same way I have to trust you.”

  He sighed, letting me go and heading into the house. “Trust is not something I understand.” He pulled the fridge open and took out a beer.

  “I thought you were only allowed two?”

  He put the bottle close to his lips, dark eyes staring down at me. “Who’s the master here?”

  Really, I had no room to talk. I was high for the first time. I sighed as he brought the beer to his lips. “How did you get high the first time?” He’d said he’d gotten high and it was the first time he could exist and not suffer. That he was having more than two beers made me sad. Did he want to exist and not suffer right now? Is that why I had done the same?

  “Kline had friends over. The garage wasn’t finished back then. It was a storage shed. He and his friends snuck back there and I spied on them smoking. They left a couple joints and baggies in a hiding spot in some old record crates. Let’s just say their hiding spot became mine.” He sat at the table after flipping on the kitchen lights while I leaned on the island, trying to push the weight of the balls in my core from my mind.

  “Kline had a friend, one of the ones he smoked with, Warren. I befriended him for the sake of drugs. He sold them, I wanted them, it made sense to me. When I was thirteen, I was growing into one hell of a monster. It’s a wonder how Pyper managed to put up with me. I couldn’t even put up with myself back then. I went to a party Warren was throwing to get a couple baggies for the weekend.

  Suffice it to say, that party was the beginning of the end. I tried ecstasy and coke for the first time, got a blow job for the first time, and lost my virginity. I gave myself to that scene. Sex was fucked up for me, but I loved it at the same time. Like the pain it reminded me of made the pleasure stronger. It was nothing for years but sex and dope. I didn’t like existing unless I had them. Older women, girls my age, high school, college. If it had a pussy and could get me high I’d do it.

  When I was fifteen I tried opiates for the first time. I felt better beating the shit out of people, fucking girls, and shooting up, in and out of juvie. I cared about nothing. Not even myself. When I got expelled, Pyper snapped. She knew there was only down for me, and maybe letting me go then would make losing me easier later.” He cleared his throat gruffly.

  “But Elouise stepped in before you could ruin your life completely,” I finished, my heart aching for him. “What happened to you, Jaxon? Why don’t you ever talk about your mother? Your father? How did Pyper save you?”

  He chugged his beer, a demon at the table fighting his chains. “I’ll never let you leave me. Even if you try, I’ll fucking find you. You’re mine. I refuse to let you go, not when I had to let so much go already.” The cold resolve in his voice scared me. I knew in my bones that he wasn’t lying. He would do what it took to keep me.

  But so would I.

  “Pyper is my biological father’s sister. She didn’t know about me and obviously, I didn’t know about her. My … mom,” he managed, his voice a low growl. “Didn’t have any family but her father, and he wanted nothing to do with me.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She’s an alcoholic. Drug addict. Prostitute. You name it, Mom does it.”

  “She’s still … alive?”

  “Mhm. You know those homeless people that hang out near the old brewery warehouses by the pier? She’s one of them.”

  “Do you still talk?”

  He nodded, his body shaking so badly the table knocked against the opposite chair. “Sometimes. I visit her once a month. Put her up in a hotel for the night, give her some money on a throwaway debit card. She fights me tooth and nail every time. She’s who I would have been if Pyper didn’t save me.”

  “Is that why you went to live with Pyper?” I guessed.

  But he shook his head. “No, Miya, it isn’t.”

  “Then, why did you?”

  “Because her boyfriend abused me
.” He looked up, the horror of his past burning in his eyes. “He raped me, beat me, and abused me for two years while my drunk mother was out whoring herself around. He told me if I didn’t do what he said, he’d kill her. I had to protect her. I endured it. For two years straight, until I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. The smell of his sweat, the constant pain and terror. One day I tried to beat the ever loving shit out of him. I didn’t. He beat the ever loving shit out of me instead. I don’t remember what happened afterward. I can’t remember being in the hospital, the cops, the questions. But I remember those two years. I remember them like they were yesterday.”

  I went to him. I settled on his lap and wrapped him in my arms, pressing my sobbing face into his shirt to muffle the sound. “I’m so sorry, Jaxon.”

  “They wouldn’t give me back to Mom. Social services looked for my father, and found out that he’d killed himself a year after I was born. His only living relative was Pyper. She took me in without question. I think part of her blames herself for not knowing about me. If she knew, then she could have been there to save me sooner. But I don’t blame Pyper. I love her, Miya. I just don’t know how to say it.”

  He succumbed and wrapped his arms around me, sobbing into my neck as I sobbed into his chest. His torment was so deep, my mind couldn’t fathom the depth of his suffering.

  He stiffened in my arms. “Go ahead, say it.”

  “Say what?”

  “That you no longer want me. That I’m a used-up monster and you’d never let me touch you again.”

  I clutched at my chest at the horror of his words. How could he think that about himself? He was a child, an abused soul. To blame oneself? I shuddered at the thought of all that horrendous darkness inside of him.