One More Dance

by Roxanne Rustand

  “What would they be, Kate?” he asked evenly, his eyes growing colder. “Got any secrets you need to share?”

  “More dirty laundry than you can even imagine.” She took a few steps away and sank onto a bus stop bench. “But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I really don’t want to share the kind of future you’ll have, anyway.”

  “Even if I end up as some lowly small-town lawyer, instead of a senatorial hotshot?” He stood in front of her and managed a faint smile that didn’t begin to reach his eyes. “In case you’re at all curious, I’ve never thought about politics. Not even once.”

  “I guess I’m just saying that we should stop seeing each other. It’s been nice, but I don’t think it was meant to be.”

  “Nice?” He lingered for a long moment, then slowly shook his head. “You surprise me, Kate. I never thought we’d end up like this.”

  Guilt made it impossible for her to answer, though the pain in his voice tore at her heart.

  “My father is gone, along with his money. The unspoken assumption was that I’d do my duty and marry well to rescue the family fortunes.” Jared gave a short, cynical laugh. “I would have given up anything to be with you. Anything. But I guess we’re all in luck, because love won’t be standing in the way of duty now.”

  And then he walked away.

  DECEMBER DRAGGED ON into January, snowfall upon snowfall, then the endless rain and mud of a very wet spring...one exam, paper and difficult lab after another.

  Kate’s initial worries over her vet school GPA were now replaced by a quieter sense of accomplishment and the thrill of meeting every challenge head-on...until it came to dealing with the parakeets.

  “I had a little trouble yesterday,” she admitted to Deanna. “Two of ’em got loose in the room and took forever to catch, and then I had a problem drawing a blood sample. Thanks for coming with me today.”

  “I owe you after you helped me review for the bovine dystocia test.” Deanna looked across the exam table and grinned. “You’ve never had birds?”

  “I wanted them when I was in grade school. My mom said she was allergic. My dad said they smelled like chickens, and he wouldn’t allow them in the house.” Kate laughed. “Come to think of it, they gave the same excuses for hedgehogs, guinea pigs and gerbils.”

  “You poor, deprived baby.”

  “I had all sorts of reptiles and rodents in cages out in the barn, and the usual cats and dogs, plus the livestock on my uncle’s farm. Just never had any experience with birds. And,” Kate added with a grin, “I think birds can sense that a mile off.”

  “Well, we’re the only ones here, so it’s a good time to practice.” Deanna opened the cage door and deftly corralled a hapless bird within her cupped hands. A wild rustling of feathers ensued, and she flinched. “Pecked me, the little bugger.”

  When the bird calmed, they started working from the lab instruction sheet on the table between them, listening to the creature’s rapid heartbeat. Examining it for psittacosis, BPFD and overall health, followed by a blood draw and fecal exam.

  “Your turn,” Deanna said after replacing the bird in the cage. “Let’s see... Try for that green-and-yellow one.”

  The bird apparently had excellent hearing, because it promptly flapped and clawed its way to the topmost bar of the cage.

  Kate nearly had it, when it scrambled away in a flurry of airborne feathers. She finally snared the struggling bird—only to have it shoot out of her grasp like a wet bar of soap.

  “These birds haven’t been socialized, so we’ve got a bigger challenge.” Deanna chuckled. “It’s a trick, all right. Hold them too tight and they’ll keel over dead. Too loose, and they’re gone.”

  When Kate finally managed to capture the bird, she let it rest for a few minutes within her cupped hands before bringing it out. She started going through each step of the exam under Deanna’s watchful eye.

  But after a few minutes, she realized Deanna had fallen silent, her expression distracted. “What’s wrong?”

  Deanna bit her lower lip. “Nothing...probably.”

  “Nothing.”

  “Well, not anything that should matter. You know, when a person breaks up with someone, they don’t mind when they hear some news about them, right?”

  “This is confusing.”

  Deanna shifted her weight, clearly uneasy. “Though I’d guess these things can hurt, even if you aren’t supposed to care anymore.”

  Kate stilled. “Tell me.”

  “I figured you should maybe hear it first from me, so it won’t be a surprise at some really awkward time.”

  If she hadn’t been holding a bird, Kate might have succumbed to the temptation to grab Deanna’s shoulders and shake her. “What?”

  Deanna looked down at the table. “Jared.”

  A chill gripped Kate’s heart as she imagined the terrible things that could’ve happened. “Is he... Is he all right?”

  “I heard he’s...um...engaged.”

  Speechless, Kate stared at her.

  “To some really wealthy girl—and they aren’t waiting around for a long engagement, either. What a jerk, right? I mean, it’s been, what—six months? How shallow is that? He never did deserve you, that’s for sure. Not when he could go off like this and...”

  Deanna’s voice vibrated with loyalty and indignation, but her tirade faded into the distance as Kate processed the news and felt the empty chasm in her chest grow until it pressed against her ribs.

  Engaged.

  A day hadn’t gone by without images of Jared crowding into her mind. Regrets. Memories. Wishful thoughts. Daydreams in which he would appear one day like her white knight, insisting that nothing would ever again keep them apart.

  Silly thoughts, because she’d been the one to end their relationship. She’d sacrificed her fanciful romantic dreams to make sure he had every option open to him for his future, and that wasn’t something she could undo.

  And now, the door was truly closed.

  CHAPTER NINE

  PRESENT DAY

  Even the ICU lighting was muted during the wee hours of the morning; the constant soft beeps, clicks and the low hum of various motors added a surreal, futuristic feel to the otherwise eerie hush belying the life-and-death struggle of the two patients lying inside the unit.

  Kate watched through the window of the waiting room as a nurse walked to the far end where Jared lay, pulled back the white curtain and hovered over his bed to check his IV lines.

  She adjusted his pillow and checked the heavy bandaged dressing on his head, then rejoined the other two nurses who were working at the computers in the central nursing station. Illuminated by the blue glow of their computer screens and the banks of monitors relaying every breath, every heartbeat of their patients, they seemed totally efficient and impersonal, until one of them turned to the others and said something to make them laugh.

  It was comforting, seeing human emotion break free amidst the tension of this place. Perhaps it was just that this was a quiet night. Only two patients, with the other four curtained bays empty, prepped and waiting for the next critical care situation.

  Who knew when that might happen? A twist of fate—one wrong step—a millisecond of hesitation...

  If Jared had left his office a second sooner, would he be here, fighting for his life? Or would he be sleeping soundly at home?

  The chaplain arrived, spoke quietly to the nurses and moved to the patient in the bay next to Jared’s, communion tray in hand.

  Kate had to look away from that intimate moment of faith, the preparation for a final journey home.

  The chaplain had already been to see Jared, and it gave her a somber sense of peace, but even now she wanted to defy the rules and stride to his bedside. Urge him to fight for his life...to open his eyes and see how much his family still needed him. You can’t leave us, sweetheart...not now. Not with so many years left.

  But she’d had the last visit, and in thirteen minutes Sylvia would have
her own turn to sit with him for those five precious minutes every hour. And Kate would have to wait—she looked at her watch—until 6:05 a.m.

  Seventy-eight minutes to pray that no alarms would go off. That the nurses wouldn’t need to rush to Jared’s side and sound a code blue.

  Seventy-eight minutes to hope and pray that he would still be here on earth at the end of them.

  Sylvia sat behind her in a leather chair, stiffly erect after all this time. She’d declined the offer of a pillow and blanket, choosing to sit silently by herself, lost in her own thoughts.

  Did she ever have any regrets over the things she’d said and done? Her cold rejection of Kate these many years?

  Kate turned to offer her a cup of coffee from the fresh pot brewing at the back of the lounge. Sylvia’s eyes had finally closed, her head lolling slightly to one side, though she still held her old-fashioned handbag firmly in her lap with both hands.

  You need your rest whether you’ll admit it or not, Kate thought, with a rush of compassion. It’s been a long, hard night for all of us.

  OLD BONES AND HOSPITAL chairs were a combination surely devised by the devil himself.

  Sylvia stirred, winced at the pain shooting through her bad hip and forced herself to ignore it.

  Mind over matter. Weak people whined and complained and expected people to fawn. She didn’t need that. Wouldn’t accept it.

  Everything was a choice in this life.

  A choice to live, a choice to wither and die.

  A choice to let anger and bitterness corrode the soul or to let past wrongs drift away like refuse on a cold, dark sea. She’d been letting it all drift lately...and the sea surrounding her was toxic with it. All the wrongs that had been done to her over the years suffocating her.

  She’d held on to her anger and resentment like a lifeline, meting out judgment and punishment with stony silence. She’d felt self-righteous in her solitude.

  But now her only son...her estranged only son...lay on a hospital bed, quite possibly dying, and there was no way she could make things right. The weight of her guilt settled around her heart like an iron fist, threatening to crush it.

  She sucked in a sharp breath as another pain shot through her and sent dizzying stars spinning through her head. The bum hip, or was it somewhere...higher?

  A wave of cold sweat and nausea rolled through her and she clenched the arms of the chair, willing it to recede. She had no time for this.

  It was her son that mattered now. Only her son.

  She would hang on and make sure he didn’t give up. She didn’t tolerate quitters. She had the strength, the iron will, to make sure he didn’t let go. Not like Ellsworth, who’d so easily given up.

  She gritted her teeth until her jaw ached, and fixed her eyes on the clock.

  Three minutes to go and then she could march to Jared’s bedside and will him to fight for his life.

  He wouldn’t dare defy her.

  She wasn’t weak, not like the woman he’d rebelliously taken for his wife. Sylvia’s old anger and disappointment threatened to surface but she held it at bay. Kate meant nothing. It was Jared who mattered now. He needed her.

  And this time, she wouldn’t fail him.

  THE PAST

  Sylvia adjusted her smart little hat and took another close look at her lipstick in the entryway mirror of her home. There would be many old friends at the country club this afternoon, all there in celebration of Jared’s engagement to the youngest Hastings girl.

  Sheila was a prime catch, with her boarding school education and her recent graduation from Northwestern. Her new position as assistant buyer for her father’s chain of upscale department stores was icing on the proverbial cake.

  What could be better than an alliance such as this?

  Smiling at herself in the mirror, Sylvia straightened her pearls, then glanced back into the cavernous front hall and breathed a sigh of pure relief.

  The past few years had been a desperate struggle to keep the place going. Taxes and repairs and the abominable groundskeeper who charged far too much had drained her investments, but keeping up the show had been worth every penny.

  The Hastings girl hardly would’ve been impressed by a young man living in a little rambler in the suburbs. And now, with her future guaranteed in her father’s company and her substantial trust funds, Jared would be stepping into the world for which he’d been destined, and his ten-year-old sister, Julia, would still have her chance to shine someday.

  And Sylvia would no longer need to fear financial ruin. Ellsworth had managed his money poorly, leaving her with far too little, but the children would soon be able to provide for her. She had no doubt about that.

  Jared’s footsteps sounded on the staircase and she smiled in his direction as he approached.

  “Well, dear...are you ready for your big day? This will be—” Her voice failed when she took in his haggard expression, his sweatshirt and faded jeans. “Good heavens. It’s time to go. Why aren’t you dressed?”

  “I can’t go through with this, Mother. I tried, but I can’t.” He dropped into a chair and rested his forearms on his thighs, his head bowed.

  Panic rushed through Sylvia with lightning speed. “Don’t be silly. You’ve asked this girl and she accepted. Everyone gets cold feet—it happens all the time. But it’s nothing.”

  He lifted his weary eyes to meet hers. “But that’s exactly what I feel. Nothing.”

  “But she’s a sweet, smart girl. Educated. Lovely to talk to. Don’t get so wrapped up in yourself that you forget just how special she really is.” Hearing her own voice rising, Sylvia took a steadying breath. “This is just a silly bout of nerves, darling. Go get dressed, and we can be off.”

  “No, we can’t. This was just a bad case of rebound on both sides. Sheila’s longtime boyfriend dumped her. We both just needed a friend.”

  Sylvia curbed her rising anger. “Rebound from Kate? You didn’t lose that little tramp. Nothing so sad and heart-wrenching as that, so don’t let her destroy something as special as your chance with Sheila. Kate walked out on you, plain and simple, and it was for the best. You know it was."

  Jared’s eyes widened and she could see the realization dawning in his expression. “What did you say to her?”

  “Nothing that wasn’t the absolute truth. Not that she was very forthcoming about the truth to you, by the way. Did she ever tell you about her background?”

  “Of course she did. She said there was ‘plenty of dirty laundry in her past.’ So what? What family hasn’t had some bad turns along the way?”

  “She didn’t elaborate? Tell you about her alcoholic parents? Or tell you that her mother served seven years in prison for murdering her father? What kind of family connection would that be, for heaven’s sake? Being mixed up with that rabble would’ve led to your professional ruin.”

  “What, exactly, did you tell her?” Jared repeated, his voice vibrating with anger.

  “I told her the truth, sweetheart. That all of this...this pretentious lifestyle of ours—”

  “Yours, Mother.”

  Sylvia ignored him. “I told her that this was all just a house of cards. That despite appearances, there’s no great wealth here—no opportunity for a golden, pampered future simply by marrying into the family.”

  Jared launched to his feet, shoving his hair back with both hands as he paced across the floor, then returned. “So you essentially called her a gold digger.”

  “No, but clearly she was. Didn’t she walk out on you a few weeks after she was here and learned the truth? Have you heard from her since?” Sylvia sniffed in disgust. “She obviously went on to look for more promising prey, as far as I can see.”

  “So Kate didn’t come from a background wealthy enough to suit you.”

  “I hardly matter, dear. She looked at you with stars in her eyes, thinking ‘Easy Street.’ A false assumption, which in all fairness needed to be corrected. While in your case, you do need to marry well enough that your pa
th will be easier. With my connections, I can help you—”

  “You can’t use people like that.”

  “Think hard on this. You have the lovely Hastings girl waiting for you at the club. She can offer a beautiful, comfortable life, if you two can work things out. Or,” Sylvia added with a gesture of distaste, “you can pursue the kind of woman who lies and has the worst possible background. Put all of that law school education to good use and think rationally, for once.”

  “I’m doing that right now.” He reached around her for the Mustang keys lying on the entryway table and strode to the door, where he hesitated with one hand on the frame. “Just to let you know, Sheila and I have been talking on the phone for the past hour. She doesn’t want our so-called engagement any more than I do, and we’ve called it off. She decided she’d rather deal with her problems in her own way.”

  Sylvia stared at him as everything slowly clicked into place. Sheila Hastings’s many anxious phone calls whenever Jared was here. Jared’s lifelong, heartfelt need to help anyone in trouble. Sylvia struggled for a casual tone. “So, dear, when is her baby due?”

  His eyes flared wide with surprise, but he said nothing.

  “Is it yours?”

  She could see the war of his emotions in the subtle changes in his expression—the desire to protect the girl’s tarnished honor versus his innate need to be honest.

  After a long moment, Jared finally shook his head. “No. She was terrified about facing her parents, but she finally decided to tell them. She’s talking to them this morning.” He stepped through the doorway.

  “Wh-where are you going now?”

  “Back to school, to see if I can find Kate and try to save the only relationship that ever mattered. I just hope you love me enough to wish me luck.”

  DECIDING TO TAKE A leap of faith and implementing it were two different things. Finding that Kate and her friends had moved to parts unknown set him back temporarily, but then Jared began a systematic search.