Hope Prevails

by Dr. Michelle Bengtson

  Practice Gratitude

  In the book of Psalms, David repeatedly reveals the importance of gratitude in the midst of our struggles. “Sacrifice thank offerings to God” (Ps. 50:14). Our gratitude and thankfulness to God are both a sacrifice and an offering. “I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD” (Ps. 116:17). It strikes me that the words sacrifice and offering were both used in conjunction with David’s call to show God gratitude. These two terms suggest an attitude of the heart.

  During my bouts of depression, I didn’t tend to be very grateful. Depression often diverts our attention inward toward ourselves. During those painful, despairing weeks and months, I focused on how I felt, how my situation wasn’t improving, and what I wanted to change in myself or my circumstances. Even when I considered others, I always came back to how much worse I felt than they did.

  Reading the verses from Psalms shook my introspective framework. They made me sit up and acknowledge the change that was necessary in my heart and my subsequent actions. Sacrifice meant I would forego my own needs, wants, habits, and tendencies in favor of another. Offering meant I would not hold back but instead give God the gift of my worship and praise. A sacrifice and offering of thanksgiving meant I would give up my selfish tendency of thinking of myself first and instead give focused attention to the greatness and faithfulness of my heavenly Father as an act of worship. When I felt defeated and prone to self-pity, it truly felt like a sacrifice and an offering to willfully set aside my own aches, needs, and desires while giving God my gratitude for all he had done and would do to provide for me.

  When we focus on what we have to be thankful for, a subtle shift takes place in our hearts and our minds. Our focus moves from ourselves and our circumstances to God and his generosity, goodness, and faithfulness.

  Theodore Roosevelt said that, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When we compare ourselves to others, we focus on all we do not have. We hear of families taking luxury trips while we are working to make ends meet. We have friends who enjoy the company of family and friends while we have lost loved ones. We hear of the fancy gifts others are giving or receiving during the holidays while we are trying to keep the heat on. When we look at what others have or are doing, we can believe we don’t measure up.

  Part of the problem with comparison is that we can always find others who have more, do more, and achieve more. But we can also always find others who have less, do less, and achieve less. Honestly, there really is no fair comparison because no two people start off on equal ground. Our backgrounds are not the same, our genetic contributors are different, our prior experiences are varied, and even if we have the same family and are raised in the same home, our gifts, talents, dreams, and aspirations are all different.

  The comparison game had defeated me too. One Christmas, my holiday cheer was dampened by severe physical pain from foot surgery that left me in worse shape than I had been in prior to the surgery. My husband and I attended a holiday event. I was still in a surgical boot because it was the only thing that would fit or offer any degree of comfort and protection. I can throw a pretty good pity party, and at that point I did. I was all “woe is me” about having to wear a surgical boot to a holiday party.

  A couple of evenings later as I scrolled through posts on social media, a particular post caught my attention and paralyzed me for more than a few moments. Even now I can’t tell you what the caption read—that wasn’t what captivated my heart or brought me to my knees in repentance. The photo showed the worn shoes on a homeless individual’s feet. His feet had worn through the bottom of what were probably the only socks and shoes he had.

  I had compared myself to all those I had seen with beautiful feet and even prettier shoes, wishing I had what they had. But now I was the one feeling grateful. A blinged-out surgical boot suddenly looked gorgeous and provided much more warmth and comfort. The photo radically changed my perspective.

  Now when I catch myself comparing myself to those who seemingly have more or achieve more, I remember that there are many people who would be grateful to have what I have. I’m reminded to practice gratitude and to count my blessings. Comparison steals our joy when we compare ourselves to others and don’t enjoy the blessings we have. I must choose to focus on my blessings.

  When we focus on what we don’t have or wish we had, life will always feel inadequate and wanting. But gratitude and thankfulness open the door to joy. Gratitude helps us appreciate our blessings and makes them sufficient. Melody Beattie suggested, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”5

  Do for Others

  Karl Menninger was a famous American psychiatrist of the early twentieth century. Once during a lecture on mental health issues, someone in the audience asked him his advice for a person experiencing an impending nervous breakdown.

  Since he was a psychiatrist, you might think he would suggest this person see a psychiatrist who would prescribe medication or inpatient hospitalization. Astonishingly, he responded by suggesting that the afflicted individual leave their home, cross the railroad tracks, seek out someone in need, and meet that need.

  What Menninger knew was that depression can be perpetuated by focusing on ourselves. When we focus instead on others and their needs, our own pain is lessened.

  Luke shared this principle in the book of Acts: “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (20:35).

  Helping others is not always the easiest thing to do when we are depressed. I know. I remember feeling so down that I wondered if I would ever again have a day without tears. And at the same time, I felt guilty because in my mind I didn’t have a valid reason to feel down. I had friends who grieved children who had died from illness, children who had died by suicide, and children who were imprisoned. I had friends whose spouses were ill and friends who had gone through divorce. What reason did I have to feel down?

  I often didn’t have the energy or the motivation for anything that wasn’t an absolute necessity, and even for those things they were tenuous. On one occasion a friend was moving and, in a moment of temporarily renewed energy, I offered my help. When the move date actually came, however, I wondered why I had made the offer. I didn’t have the energy I had had on the day I offered my help. But during those few hours of physical labor, putting someone else’s needs before my own, my former self reemerged. And in helping someone else, taking the focus off myself, I felt good. For a short while I appreciated a fresh understanding of Nehemiah 8:10: “The joy of the LORD is your strength.”

  When we are depressed, we have a choice to make. We can let depression define us, or we can desire joy enough to pursue it with prayer, obedience, gratitude, and sacrifice. Jesus offers us the same joy he had: the fullest joy possible. What I’ve learned is that joy comes through the doorway of thanksgiving and gratitude. As Proverbs 23:7 tells us, we are what we think in our hearts. As we become increasingly grateful, God exchanges our worries and sorrow for his peace, joy, and abundant life. Our circumstances may not change, but our mind-set does.

  Your Rx

  There is no greater priority or any greater protection than being in God’s presence. Think about your daily routine. Consider how often you consciously seek God’s presence. What is one thing you can do to more frequently or more consistently get alone and be in God’s presence?

  Consider purchasing a new journal or notebook and using it to daily record the things God brings to your mind to be thankful for. Some days you might record only one thing and others you might rattle off a dozen, but aim for three new specific things daily.

  Look up the following verses: John
16:24; Romans 12:12; 15:13; James 4:8. Write them on index cards and place them where you will see them frequently. Read each of these passages aloud three times daily, committing them to memory.

  My Prayer for You

  Father, I remember the heartache of those dark days when my daily experience was devoid of joy. I contrast that with the joy you promise us in your Word. You died so that we could experience an abundant life with peace and joy. It is my prayer that you will return the joy of their salvation to this dear one now. Reveal your joy in big and small ways, and use your joy to provide strength for today’s battle. As you promised in Job 8:21, I pray that you will fill their mouth with laughter and their lips with shouts of joy! In the mighty name of Jesus, amen.

  Recommended Playlist

  “(Never Gonna) Steal My Joy,” Mandisa, © 2007 by Sparrow Records

  “Your Presence Is Heaven to Me,” Israel Houghton, © 2012 by Integrity/Columbia

  “Hope’s Anthem,” William Matthews, © 2013 by Bethel Music

  “There Is None Like You,” Darlene Zschech, © 2000 by Word/Epic

  “Here Is Our King,” David Crowder, © 2013 by sixstepsrecords

  “There Is None Like You,” Trevor Walker, © 2013 by Trevor Walker

  “Find You on My Knees,” Kari Jobe, © 2012 by Sparrow Records

  “If I Could Just Sit with You Awhile,” Dennis Jernigan, © 1998 by Shepherd’s Heart Music

  “Hope in Front of Me,” Danny Gokey, © 2014 by BMG Rights Management

  6

  Reclaim Your Peace

  Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

  2 Thessalonians 3:16

  Peace isn’t the absence of the dark. Peace is the assurance of God’s presence in the midst of the dark.

  Ann Voskamp

  As if stealing our joy isn’t bad enough, the enemy doesn’t stop there. His mission is to defeat us. Remember, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. We have talked about his vicious attacks to steal our joy, but another reason depression is such a painful experience is because the enemy kills our peace.

  While suffering through depression, not only do we not feel “all is well with the world,” but in our despair, we also feel “nothing is right with the world.” We are no longer able to see the speed bumps of life for the little blips they are in our day. Rather, they often seem like mountains set before us to taunt, tease, and tower over us.

  What Is Peace?

  You are not alone if you wonder, “What is peace?”

  For many years I considered peace a nice word in a Christmas carol. Now I think of peace as an absence of worry, concern, or annoyance—a calm experience in both my mind and my heart. Think of that relaxed sensation that overtakes you as you teeter between wakefulness and sleep.

  Because our enemy, the father of lies, deceives us about ourselves, others, and God, we stray from the truth in our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, emotions, and behavior. As we veer from the truth, we experience the demolition of our God-given peace, which is the very thing that “transcends all understanding” and guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7). The enemy’s voice sounds just like our own, speaking to us in the first person, making it difficult to detect. We know faith or believing comes from hearing (Rom. 10:17), and the more we hear the deceptive proclamations of the enemy, the more we believe them and the farther we drift from peace.

  What Happened to Peace?

  The enemy introduced himself to Eve in the garden. Since his entrance on the stage of our lives, he has sought to separate us from God’s truth through deception, cunning, and perversion. After Adam and Eve ate from the enemy’s menu, they experienced shame at their newly recognized nakedness and hid from God—the very God who created them and walked with them in the garden. In doing so, they gave up their peace.

  Jesus tells us in John 14:27 that he gives us peace as his gift: “Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught” (Message). I suspect that if we could have had peace in our hearts on our own, Jesus would not have left it with us as a gift.

  God longs for his children to have peace. God knew we would encounter difficult times, but he came to earth to live as a man and experience suffering so that ultimately he could be our hero, empathize with our suffering, and help us overcome those difficult times with his peace. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Interestingly, Jesus combined peace and trouble. The offer of peace does not remove the reality of trouble, and the experience of trouble does not annihilate the promise of peace. He shared a fundamental principle we cannot lose sight of: in him we can have peace, not on our own. We can rejoice in the assurance of the outcome! Our victory in this battle has already been guaranteed.

  How the Enemy Kills Our Peace

  The Enemy Invokes Anxiety

  I could give you a fancy definition of anxiety, but if you are like me, I suspect that wouldn’t be helpful. Simply put, anxiety is the absence of peace. Anxiety always stems from a feeling of being out of control. If we surrender to God, give up our need for control, and let him be in control, then we can remain in perfect peace. “But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me” (Micah 7:7).

  Many who experience the suffering caused by depression also experience anxiety. In fact, for some, anxiety is what they identify with before recognizing depression for what it is. Don Colbert, in his book The Bible Cure for Depression and Anxiety, estimates that “about 80 percent of depressed individuals experience physiological anxiety symptoms: unrealistic apprehensions, fears, worry, agitation, irritability, or panic attacks,” while “some 60 percent of people with depression experience anxiety-related physical symptoms: headaches, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, and chronic pain.”1 An anxious mind is a mind not at peace.

  In the popular book series called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, the front cover or the first couple of pages of each book always mention that “it’s all small stuff.” I appreciate this perspective, although I rarely remember it when I’m sweating through difficult circumstances. Life certainly throws us challenges, and we will go through times of adversity. The Bible even warns us to expect it. The question is, Will we let the enemy use those times to kill our peace?

  Interestingly, I’ve made it through all those difficult times 100 percent of the time. I’ve made it through illnesses, surgeries, moves, family members’ deaths, my husband’s cancer, a miscarriage, and many more, every single time. I didn’t enjoy the experiences at the time, and many I wouldn’t choose to go through again, but with God’s help, I survived them and I grew from many of them.

  I still come up against difficult and sometimes very painful circumstances, but my perspective has changed. Previously, I encountered challenges or trials and worried and fretted about what to do and about the outcome. My to-do list grew to great lengths before I stilled my mind long enough to pray. Jesus tells us, however, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matt. 6:34).

  When I worry, I’m believing the enemy’s lies: “You can handle this one on your own.” Or “If it’s going to be done right, you better do it yourself.” Or “People always let you down, so it’s better not to trust or depend on them and take care of yourself.” When I come into agreement with the enemy’s lies, I take my eyes off God and focus on myself and my circumstances. I operate in my own knowledge and my own strength. I know my limitations and capabilities and that I have only a limited vision of the very near future, so I worry because I know that in my own efforts I am insufficient. That robs me of peace and joy.

  Now I’m learning to live moment by moment, trusting God’s care for the situation and being thankful for his provision. My focus then remains
on the Solver of my problem rather than on my circumstances. “‘Because he loves me,’ says the LORD, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation’” (Ps. 91:14–16).

  Fear is a misappropriation of our attentional resources that robs us of peace. When we worry, we give our attention to our own abilities or lack thereof rather than focusing on God’s promises to rescue us, protect us, answer us, be with us in trouble, deliver us, and satisfy us. Faith allows God the privilege of getting the glory for providing for our needs and keeps us in perfect peace despite our circumstances.

  The Enemy Destroys Our View of Self

  In the valley of depression, we tend to focus on, and ultimately compare, our deficiencies to others’ strengths, our lack to others’ plenty, and our pain to others’ joy. In our despair, we often look at the negative rather than the positive because the negative is so pronounced. Imagine trying to watch a movie with a tall person with big hair sitting immediately in front of you. In the same way, the enemy puts negativity in our field of vision to obstruct our view.

  Our enemy doesn’t play fair. He studies us and knows us better than we know ourselves. He observes our reactions, words, and behaviors and also those of our family members. He knows the generational tendencies that exist and is equally aware of our fear and repulsion concerning them. Depression destroys our opinion of ourselves. The enemy’s attacks on our character, our behavior, and our condition devastate our self-esteem and often make us feel worthless. This is in direct opposition to what God’s truth tells us in 1 John 4:4: “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”