Hope Prevails

by Dr. Michelle Bengtson

  Raised in a Christian home, I knew Jesus shed his blood and died on a cross to save me from my sins and provide eternal salvation. I had that assurance. But somehow I missed a fundamental principle: there was nothing I could do to make God love me any more or any less. In depending on myself rather than God, I allowed the enemy to dig my valley of depression even deeper.

  It took coming to a place where I was no longer able to do anything for myself, when all I could do for months was “be” me and be in God’s presence, for me to gain a revelation of God’s truth rather than what I had believed to be true. God helped me realize that he never intended for me to spend my life trying to do more and be better in exchange for his love and approval. He already loved me. It was up to me to believe it. The same is true for you.

  The enemy aims to cast doubt in our minds regarding the permanency of God’s love. Regardless of what the enemy says or does, he is no match for God’s unending, faithful love. “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (1 Cor. 13:7 NLT).

  Once I started to intentionally search Scripture for truth about God’s love for me, only then did I receive the revelation that nothing, not even my depression, could separate me from God’s love. Do you know what God’s Word says about his love for you?

  You are his and he is yours (Song of Sol. 6:3).

  He delights over you: “For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs” (Zeph. 3:17 NLT).

  You are deeply and completely loved forever. “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38–39 NLT).

  A relationship with God is often so much simpler than all our religiosity makes it out to be. He made things simple for us because he wants us to know him.

  God Only Requires That We Believe

  John 3:16 reveals God’s incredible heart toward us: “God loved the world this way: He gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life” (GW). Before we were born, before we could even attempt anything to gain his love or favor, God gave his Son simply because he loves us. Period. All he asks in return is that we believe in him. We receive salvation and a lifelong relationship with God not because of anything we do but because of his love for us. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God” (Eph. 2:8 ESV).

  He did not say we have to be at church every time the doors are open, or serve on a certain number of church committees, or give a designated amount in offering in order to receive his love or Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. Jesus did not die so we could spend our lives trying to do more or be more in exchange for more of his love and approval. God loves us as we are, not as we think we should be. It is up to us to believe it.

  The next time the enemy tries to whisper to you that you aren’t loved or lovable, remember the truth in the words of Corrie ten Boom: “There is no pit so deep, that God’s love is not deeper still.”2 Truly we can agree with David, who encouraged, “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever” (Ps. 136:1).

  Your Rx

  Think about your relationship with the Lord. What lies have you believed about being unlovable or undeserving of love? If you aren’t sure what lies you have believed, pray and ask the Lord to reveal them to you. Make a note of them, but then ask him to reveal to you his truth.

  Take an index card, one for each day of the next week, and carry the card for the day with you. Jot down your experiences, your thoughts, your recollections, or anything else that reminds you that God loves you. As he reveals his love to you, stop right then and thank him for his never-ending, perfect love for you. Keep the cards so when you struggle you will have a tangible reminder of God’s love for you.

  Look up the following verses: Genesis 28:15; Joshua 1:5; Psalm 136:1; Romans 8:38–39. Write them on index cards and place them where you will see them frequently. Read each of these passages aloud three times daily, committing them to memory.

  My Prayer for You

  Father, you love each of your children beyond what we can even imagine. Your love is limitless. Your love is perfect and is the antidote to our fears. I pray that today you would show this dear one a glimpse of the height and width and depth of your love in a new and tangible, undeniable way. Father, I pray that you will silence the whispers of the enemy, which make this precious child of yours question the ability to be loved by you. Your Word says that “in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near” (Eph. 2:13). Since nothing—not even our enemy, or our depression, or our fears—can separate us from your love, I pray this precious one will sense your closeness and receive shelter under your wing. Thank you, Lord, for not only giving your love but also being love, for we live in a lost and broken world. In Jesus’s name, amen.

  Recommended Playlist

  “Jesus Loves Me,” Chris Tomlin, © 2014 by sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records

  “Nothing Ever (Could Separate Us),” Citizen Way, © 2014 by Fair Trade/Columbia

  “Relentless,” Hillsong United, © 2013 by Hillsong Church T/A Hillsong Music Australia

  “How He Loves,” David Crowder Band, © 2009 by sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records

  “Never Once,” Matt Redman, © 2011 by sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records

  “You Love Me Anyway,” Sidewalk Prophet, © 2009 by Fervent Records/Word

  “Nothing Like Your Love,” Hillsong United, © 2013 by Hillsong Church T/A Hillsong Music Australia

  “Only Your Love,” Kari Jobe, © 2014 by Sparrow Records

  “All This Time,” Britt Nicole, © 2013 by Capitol Music Group/Sparrow Records

  “I Am Not Alone,” Kari Jobe, © 2014 by Sparrow Records

  “One Thing Remains,” Jesus Culture, © 2014 by Jesus Culture Music

  “Fallen,” John Waller, © 2011 by City of Peace Media Inc.

  “Unchanging God,” Elevation Worship, © 2013 by Essential Worship

  11

  God Uses Your Pain

  Forget the former things;

  do not dwell on the past.

  See, I am doing a new thing!

  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

  Isaiah 43:18–19

  Great faith comes from great victories and great victories come from great battles.

  Steve Dulin

  I love traveling through the northeastern United States during autumn, drinking in the jewel-toned colors we don’t see much of in Texas. What always seems to capture my attention is the solitary tree in the midst of changing color but surrounded by those that have not yet begun the process. Different from all those around it, the tree stands out.

  In the same way, during certain seasons in our lives, God begins changing us from within, perhaps leading us to forge a new path or to stand apart from all those around us not called to the same journey or from those resisting change. Sometimes they even resist the change in us, comfortable with who we have always been while unsure of who we are becoming. It’s not easy to blaze a new path, but the rewards are beautiful if we stick with it. Paul writes:

  So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you,
and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Rom. 12:1–2 Message)

  Trials always change us. If we love God and trust him in the dark hours, staying open to lessons he has for us along the way, then our hearts receive the blessing of transformation. When walking in the valley, the only way out is up. He is our only path out of our despair.

  God promises to restore what the locusts have eaten—what our enemy has stolen (see Joel 2:25). Isaiah 61 reminds us he offers to give us so much more. If we allow him to work in us, he promises we will be comforted. He will give us beauty for ashes, joy for our despair. We can forfeit these blessings if we run from him and his work in us rather than trusting him to bring us through.

  God Doesn’t Waste Our Pain

  I had despaired deep within for weeks. Day after day I stared at the same four walls. On bed rest, attached to IVs, and in continuous pain, I did not resemble my usual self.

  My strength was failing. Sorrow was all I could taste. Hope was fleeting. I didn’t know what the next day would bring, but I couldn’t stand more of the same.

  Days blurred together. My only indication of the time that passed was the sun rising and setting, yet I couldn’t tell you any of the detail in between.

  Life continued as normal for everyone else. Family and friends maintained their daily rituals, with work and school routines. Meanwhile, I continued listening to and believing the enemy’s lies, which told me I was useless while unable to continue my usual productive routine. I thought I had failed . . . myself, my family, my patients, even God.

  While I was on bed rest and unable to work, others relayed that they were both thinking of me and praying for me. I listened to the spirit of doubt. Were they really? I didn’t feel any better. And shamefully, if I was honest with myself, hadn’t I promised to pray for others in the past and then forgotten? I too had told people I was “thinking about them,” and I did, but what did that mean exactly? What comfort did that bring? Now I really wondered.

  The sorrow I felt did not resemble anything I had ever known before. Weeks and months of intense physical pain led to soul-churning despair. As my physical energy and strength depleted, so did my emotional reserve.

  I decided if I was going to fight for my physical and emotional health to return, I didn’t want to be left unchanged. I wanted to benefit from the experience and come out of it a different person than I had been going in. I prayed that the torment I endured would not be wasted and that the Lord would use the experience to draw me closer to him and to help someone else.

  Now, on the other side of this experience, I am thankful. God never protects us from that which he will use to perfect us. He changed me. That painful experience changed and challenged me in unexpected ways:

  It tested my faith and made me seek truth.

  It led me to confront God on some hard issues I had avoided.

  It helped me put my trust in God and not in people.

  It strengthened my compassion for others.

  It made me more sensitive to the brokenness in the people I meet.

  It reinforced how desperately we need God.

  It gave me a chance to comfort others who are in pain and really pray for them when I promise I will.

  Going through depression gave me a fresh revelation of Romans 12:15: “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep” (NLT). Today if I promise to pray for someone, I will—not just once or twice but every time the Lord puts them on my heart until they tell me the situation has resolved.

  Because of what I went through, I’m able to minister to and speak life into others who are suffering, whether it’s through this book, speaking engagements, or praying with someone in need who crosses my path. I can now relate in a way I otherwise couldn’t because we have walked through similar valleys.

  A couple friends and I recently attended our church’s annual women’s conference. As we sat in the balcony, a young disheveled woman climbed over us a few minutes into the service and took the vacant seat next to me. As the evening concluded with praise and worship, I noticed the woman softly crying. I sensed the Lord telling me to put an arm around her. I didn’t know her and thought I might embarrass her. I also sensed the familiar ping of pain. Wouldn’t I want someone to reach out to me in the midst of my pain? As I put my arm around her, her shoulders heaved and her tears broke into sobs.

  At the conclusion of the service, as all the women around us gathered their belongings and the friends they came with, she took my hand to thank me. I asked her if she would like me to pray with her. Seemingly shocked that anyone would offer, she nodded her consent. Before we prayed, she shared her painful story—the mistakes she had made; her years of depression, anxiety, and loneliness; her concerns that God didn’t care and that she might always be destined to feel that way; and her fear that God didn’t see her pain and that no one would understand.

  God saw her perfectly at that intersection in her journey. He knew where she would sit after arriving late. He put her right next to someone who could relate to so much of her pain but who could also share hope from the other side. She begged to hear more of my story in part, I think, because she needed to borrow hope. We continued to talk and pray as the thousands of women left the building and the maintenance crew cleaned around us. As I wiped her tears, I sensed a change. She walked in crying tears of desperation, but she was leaving with tears of hope and gratitude.

  God repeatedly offers me the opportunity to partner with him and share my story to offer encouragement and hope to those who are earlier in their walk but on the same journey I traveled. No greater joy exists than watching God use for good what the enemy intended to harm me. I receive fresh revelation of how he gives us beauty for our ashes and the oil of gladness for our despair (Isa. 61:3). He doesn’t waste our pain. He turns our biggest messes into our greatest messages. God uses my pain to help others. And he will use yours, if you’re willing, in ways you can’t even imagine.

  A New Thing

  God’s Word declares, “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun” (2 Cor. 5:17 NLT). When we agree with the enemy’s lies about ourselves and our situation, we in essence tell God we don’t believe he changed our lives when Christ paid the ultimate price for us on the cross.

  When we deal with the roots of depression and live in the new life he gave us, dramatic change occurs. He gives us a new heart, a new identity, and a new perspective. We don’t cower before or fear depression but laugh at the enemy’s tactics while standing on God’s truth. How would you like to be free not only from depression but also from the fear of depression, the shadow of depression? How would you like to look back and say, “I remember those depressed days—how different I am now”? You can!

  For years I lived under the influence of the enemy. Under a spirit of heaviness and oppression, self-pity, bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment, I was unable to love myself or receive the love of others or God. I didn’t realize it at the time, so I wouldn’t have admitted to it. Only after I began searching for and then believing God’s truth about me did the change occur.

  I recently received a message from someone that is a testament to the change within me: “I have never seen a picture of you where you are not beaming with joy! I want that!” I haven’t always been this way. Previously, I might have smiled on the outside, but I did not have joy within. He has truly done a “new thing” in my life. “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” (Isa. 43:18–19).

  God doesn’t play favorites. If you want God to do a new thing in your life, he will—but you have to do your part first. You have to stop agreeing with the lies of the enemy and consciously choose to believe God’s truth.

  Moving from the valley of despair to setting my feet on a higher place began when I made t
he conscious decision to check my thoughts (2 Cor. 10:5) to see if they agreed with the enemy’s lies or God’s truth. That required hard work! We have between fifty thousand to seventy thousand thoughts each day. It takes discipline to take our thoughts captive and not unconsciously agree with the enemy one, one hundred, or one thousand times in the course of the day. But the rewards are worth the effort. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11). I want that peace, the peace the enemy tried to kill. Do you?

  I longed for God to lift the blanket of depression. He did. He changed my heart. “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart” (Ezek. 36:26 NLT). In doing so, I became less anxious, less self-focused, less angry, and more loving, joyful, peaceful, and compassionate.

  God’s new heart erases fear, shame, and guilt. He provides a perspective based not on our moods or our circumstances but on our identity in Christ. With this comes a separation from past sins or shame, a purpose, confidence, joy, and peace. The overwhelming experience of depression can become a little smudge in the rearview mirror as God builds a new heart and a different character. He can take this pressing pain and turn it into a motivation for praise, thanksgiving, worship, and service to others as we have compassion for those who struggle. Once he begins to set our feet on high places, we can, like Paul, comfort others with the comfort we have received (2 Cor. 1:4).

  Your Rx

  Prayerfully think back on your journey through depression. In what ways have you changed? Thank God for the positive changes you notice and thank him in anticipation for those yet to come.

  Look up the following verses: Isaiah 43:18–19; Ezekiel 36:26; Romans 12:15; 2 Corinthians 5:17; 10:5. Write them on index cards and place them where you will see them frequently. Read each of these passages aloud three times daily, committing them to memory.