Jeepers Reapers: There Goes My Midlife Crisis

by Marianne Morea

  It was over. George was on his way, same as Harry, and soon, Esther. The only ones left with question marks were Alistair and Emmie.

  The reality of all this loss bubbled from my chest, choking me until it ripped from my throat in a wet sob. I understood now what Angelica meant when she warned of soul crushing weight, and it astounded me.

  Alistair busied himself with anything that wasn’t me. His pull back was awkward and deliberate. Not that he could do much in terms of comfort, but that his initial reaction was distance? Didn’t bode well for his audit.

  Cade pulled me into his arms, my flood staining his shirt. He let my grief run its initial course, handing me a handkerchief from his back pocket.

  “I can’t believe you carry one of these.” I took the folded square with a squelchy sniff and wiped my nose.

  “Lucky I do, or you’d be stuck with hospital grade paper towels for your soggy mess once you finished with my tee-shirt.”

  I snorted a watery chuckle. “With visible bark in every sheet.”

  “Exactly.” He took the hanky from my hand and dabbed my cheeks. “I carry handkerchiefs because they’re the last vestige of a dead era. An era where men were gentlemen and women were cherished. Today you’re lucky if a guy looks up from his phone long enough to realize you’re in distress.”

  “I never thought of it that way,” I sniffed again, “but you’re right.”

  He rubbed the tip of my nose with the white cotton. “Of course I am.” He teased. “I always am.”

  The moment was so pregnant between us, I literally went up on tip toe expecting him to kiss me, and he didn’t disappoint.

  Cade’s lips brushed mine, the feel of them feather light as though testing my hunger. That was all it took for me to slip one hand behind his head, demanding more. His mouth crushed mine, breath mingling as tongues delved and wrestled, tasted and explored.

  “Ms. Jericho!” Alistair blurted. “I’m standing right here! Or did you two corporeals forget someone else was in the room?”

  Cade skimmed my lips again and then stepped back, keeping my hand in his as it slid from the back of his neck.

  High heat flushed in my face, not from embarrassment, but from that unbelievable first kiss. If that was a taste of what firsts were like with Cade, then my battery-operated boyfriend was headed for the electronics graveyard with my old hot rollers and the hair dryer I never used.

  I was still breathless, and couldn’t look Alistair in the face. The ghost had his arms crossed at his chest, with the same butthurt look he wore after I turned him down at the holiday party.

  “I always knew you preferred a Hollywood type, I guess I never realized how much.”

  I lifted my chin, turning to face him. “Meet Joe Black. I get it. I even joked about it myself. If that’s what you need to help you through your transition, then go for it.”

  “Is there something I’m missing here?” Cade asked.

  “No!” Alistair and I answered in stereo.

  Things with my tethered ghost had gone from tentatively comfortable to itchy and scratchy in the span of one kiss.

  Still, Alistair would have to deal, or he’d never move on to his next wild ramble. If things got stickier, I could fade into the background and let Cade deal with him, but that wouldn’t score points for either of us.

  “Do we have an ETA on Angelica? We don’t have much time before the hospital realizes George is dead, and that means paperwork and other minutia after they tag his toe and transfer him to the morgue.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with the hospital.” Cade poured me a cup of water from the pitcher on the bedside table. “In the meantime, can you sense that reaper’s location?”

  Taking the water, I drank it quickly. “I wish.”

  “I suppose it is a hospital,” he answered his own question. “Lots of sick and dying for reapers to troll.”

  I frowned at that. “I’m starting to understand the dos and don’ts of this job, but I still want to find that woman and kick her ass for scaring the crap out of poor George. I get reapers are opportunist, but it still gets up my nose.”

  “You’re incredible, you know that?” he said, running knuckles over my still damp cheek. His eyes held mine, and I didn’t care Alistair watched.

  “Tell me the truth,” I asked. “You and you know who. There was something, right?

  He took the empty cup from my hand, putting it beside the hospital’s plastic pitcher. “Not then, and not now. Dalliances are not my style.”

  Everything about his answer was relaxed and straightforward, and I believed him.

  “Dalliances?” I couldn’t help my grin. “Is that another leftover from the gentlemanly era?”

  “Shut up.”

  I met his grinny smirk with one of my own. “You know, when you went to get the nurse, before that reptile-eyed woman showed up, George gave me the same warning as Thea. With two notable exceptions.”

  I told him about Emmie going to see him on the same night she spoke to me through Thea, and he shook his head nonplussed.

  “I don’t see how, Louisa, but we’ll mention it to Angelica when she gets here. What was the second thing?”

  “George referred to the threat as a he, yet Thea said the menacing entity was female. Can a reaper be both?”

  “Now that’s a question if I ever heard one,” a nurse said from the doorway. She wore standard scrubs, and her ID badge carried the hospital logo, but there was no name or credentials listed. Only a single letter on the front. A capital letter R.

  “You know, Angie’s right.” She clicked her cheek, walking into the room. “You are definitely one smart cookie.” Her gaze dipped to the pendant at my chest before meeting my eyes.

  I didn’t reply. Not out of rudeness, but because I was speechless.

  “Louisa, this is Morana di Mori.” Cade made the introductions, not as surprised as I expected. “Otherwise known as The Grim Reaper.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  “I FORGOT HOW DEPRESSING hospitals can be.” Morana walked past Cade, letting her fingers trail over his arm.

  She glanced over her shoulder, almost taunting. “Don’t worry. Cade and I have been relegated to the forever friend zone.” Long fingernails walked over his bicep. Her accompanying sigh more flouted than discontented. “But you can’t blame a girl for trying.”

  “What are you doing here, Morana?” Cade asked, brushing the side of his arm as if clearing her touch.

  The Grim ignored the question, turning her attention to Alistair. “And what do we have here?” Her eyes gave the ghost a onceover, before moving to George’s lifeless body. She inhaled. “Mmmm… Fresh.”

  “And unavailable.” Cade wiggled the mini ghost box in his hand.

  “Hmmm. That’s too bad.” Circling Alistair, Morana let a sly, seductive smile curl. “Lucky for me, this one isn’t too far behind.”

  “Leave him be.” Cade moved between her and Alistair, halting her appraisal.

  “Jealous are we?”

  Cade crossed his arms at his chest. “Does Angelica know you’re here?”

  “Darling, who do you think called me?” She swung around to me at that point, and her unabated gaze made me want to look away, but I didn’t.

  “I’m curious. What makes you so deserving of such hands-on attention from my sister?” She tapped her chin. “Oh yes. You’re the tethered one. Very clever.”

  “Morana —”

  She waved off Cade’s warning. “Finding yourself tethered has to be annoyingly inconvenient.” She leaned in, feigning concern. “Why not let me help? You can’t begin to know how tantalizingly savory self-centeredness tastes on a ghost.” She inhaled. “Enough to tickle even my appetite. I’d be happy to take him.”

  My silence was met with an amused lip curl. “No?” She tsked, shifting her attention to Alistair, who backed against the bed until he practically sat on George’s feet.

  “Too bad, really.” Her eyes were on Alistair, though she addressed me. “
If you two weren’t joined at the hip, I could grant him a body and so much more…provided he was willing to play in the dark.”

  “Cork it, Rani.” Angelica walked in the door, as elegant and impervious as ever. “We have business to discuss.”

  Morana ensconced herself in the hospital chair across from the bed, crossing one leg over the other. “You need to lighten up, Angie baby, or one of these days your job is going to kill you.”

  A ghost of a smile twitched on Angelica’s lips, but she pressed it away. “And you need to take yours more seriously.”

  “The death biz is such a downer we have to laugh, or we’ll go nuts.” Rani rubbed one shapely limb over the other, eyeing Alistair. “Still, there are always more satisfying stress relievers to choose from.”

  That’s quite enough of that.” Angelica gestured to the mini ghost box, and with a snap, Alistair vanished.

  “Spoil sport.”

  “Death isn’t a sport. The poor guy just came to terms with his untimely demise, and you scared him.”

  “Well,” Rani spread her hands, “that’s my job.”

  Angelica checked her phone, frowning. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time. We have a problem that needs addressing, and it is going to take all of us working in conjunction to reset the balance.”

  Morana perked up at that. “What’s wrong with the balance?” She threw a hand out my way. “You lost a Keeper, and now you have a replacement. Done and dusted.”

  “It’s not that. If you kept tabs on your minions, you’d know that you have a rogue in your ranks.”

  Morana got to her feet. “I do not.”

  “Really,” Angelica challenged. “So the reaper that showed up and confronted my new Keeper in this room not thirty minutes ago was sanctioned?”

  Rani opened her mouth, but then closed it, her pretty face not happy at being called out.

  “I’m right, aren’t I?”

  “Does it make a difference?”

  Looking at the sisters as they faced off was like watching Samantha Stevens and her evil twin, Serena, on Bewitched.

  “It absolutely makes a difference. Enticing souls is one thing, it’s a reaper’s job, but taunting my Keepers?” Angelica took issue. “What’s stopping your reapers from crossing other lines?”

  I opened my mouth to interrupt, but Cade shook his head, motioning for me to move out of the line of fire.

  “Angie, my reapers may walk right up to the line, and they may threaten to put a toe over, but they wouldn’t dare take it any further.”

  Angelica lifted one hand. “I hope so for your sake.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. Forget I even mentioned it.” Angelica played it cool, ignoring Morana’s narrowed eyes. She even reached to tuck a stray curl behind my ear, noticing my pendant.

  “That’s a gorgeous piece, Louisa. Where did you get it?”

  I gestured to George, suddenly very aware of Morana’s eyes on us. “He gave it to me just before he died. It was originally Emmie’s.” I didn’t go into the rest. Not in mixed company, and not after the pendant reacted to that reaper.

  “It’s beautiful. Reminds me of one I had ages ago.”

  Rani huffed. “Excuse me for interrupting this sorority sister moment, but as your actual sister, I want to know what you meant by ‘hope so for my sake.’”

  “If you’re not concerned about your reapers, then why should I be?” Angelica replied. “If the situation was reversed, and I had a rogue Keeper pushing the envelope on me, I’d get them back in line before others got the same idea. The last thing either of us need is a schism threatening our balance of power.”

  I couldn’t believe it. Angelica finessed her sister with a slick seed of doubt, and it must have worked, because Rani’s forehead puckered with uncertainty.

  “Surely, it wouldn’t come to that. You’re the Angel of Death and I’m the Grim. Two sides of the same coin, imbued with the powers of cessation or redemption. Rise or fall. Afterlife or darkness.”

  “Very poetic, sister dear. It’s nice to know you remember our job descriptions.”

  The Grim frowned, sending the temperature in the room plummeting. “For the love of tea! Will you quit the dramatics?” Clearly Angelica wasn’t dealing with her sister’s tiny tantrum. “I didn’t mean to upset you, but your reapers are already insubordinate, even in minor ways. What’s to stop them from thinking they can do your job better than you?”

  Bingo.

  The windows crackled with ice, and Rani’s face changed from ethereally sexy, to heart-stoppingly scary. “What do you want me to do?”

  “Tell your reapers Alistair and Louisa are off-limits. That once Alistair is unbound, he’s fair game per usual, but until then it’s hands off. No stalking. No taunting. No coercions.”

  “They’re not going to like that. I don’t micro-manage their reaping methods.”

  Angelica shrugged. “Who’s their boss? If the edict comes from you, they have to obey. At least this way you’ll know for sure. Whoever disregards your order is your rogue.”

  Morana wasn’t satisfied. “That’s not enough of a failsafe. My reapers like to be tempted. The more complicated the quarry, the juicier the win.”

  “I’m not following.”

  “If one of mine has gone rogue, it doesn’t change their core need for enticement. We figure out what lures them and boom. Done.”

  “May I make a suggestion?” Both Rani and Angelica looked at me, and I swear my stomach dropped to my knees.

  Amused interest piqued Morana’s face. “You’ve been a Keeper for less than a week and you think you know how to lure a rogue reaper into the open?”

  “I don’t know what they want exactly, but I think I may have it.”

  “You have it,” Rani restated. “Where?”

  I shrugged. “I wish I knew.”

  Rani threw up a hand, but Angelica stopped the argument before it began. “What difference does it make what or where? Your rogue has stalked Louisa from before she knew she was a Keeper. That’s proof enough something is amiss. We can figure out the how and why after the fact.”

  The Grim nodded, mollified. “Okay then. We need a ruse, and since your Keeper is involved, that means we need a ghost.”

  “What about Angelica’s original plan?” Cade suggested. “We use Alistair. He’s tethered to Louisa. If your rogue wants something Louisa has, what better way to get her into their sights than have her follow Alistair in his temptation? She’s his Keeper. She’d have no choice but to try and rein him back.”

  Surprisingly, Angelica didn’t jump at the suggestion. She looked at me and then at the pendant at my chest. “I need to think. Louisa isn’t a full Keeper yet. I have to weigh the risk to her and the risk to everything in the balance.”

  Morana’s face was a cynical mask. “You drag me here and lay a claim at my feet about one of mine going rogue, and now you need to think about it? Why? Because one of yours might be at risk?”

  “It’s not that. Something needs to be done, but I don’t want to jump at the first suggestion.”

  Cade and I shared a look. Angelica was backpedaling, and we both knew it. What we didn’t know, was why?

  “Enough. I’ll give you until tomorrow to give me your answer, or I handle my reapers my way, and my way is never pretty.”

  “Rani…you can’t.”

  The Grim walked to the door, and the lights in the room flickered. “Watch me. Tomorrow noon, or it’s high noon Grim style.”

  Morana left, or should I say evaporated in a shimmer like a demon from Charmed. Angelica rolled her eyes, and that alone told me the Grim’s move was for effect. Was it because I was forty and grew up team Halliwell? Uhm, kiss-kiss, loved the show, so…thanks, I guess?

  “Your sister is rather dramatic.” I took a chance. “Do you think she meant high noon as a threat?”

  Angelica waved the idea off. “Dramatic? Rani should be up for an academy award every year for her level of dram
a. In case you missed it, my sister is a bit of a narcissist, with a splash of exhibitionist thrown in for fun. Half of what she says and the way she acts is for shock value.” She paused. “Well, not shock, because that goes with being the Grim, but she does like to play with people. Especially people attached to me.”

  Pfft. “The way a cat plays with their prey before eviscerating it?”

  Angelica laughed at that. “Essentially.”

  “Great.”

  “You have nothing to worry about, honey. My sister wouldn’t dare. She a lot of bluster, and she can be dangerous, but in the end she wants to keep her crown.”

  If Angelica was aiming for placated, she missed the mark. Even Cade shook his head.

  “That pendant is truly something.” She gestured to my chest. “I had one very, very similar eons ago, but it was lost to time and circumstance. It didn’t have this intricate a design, but it was close.”

  I didn’t know what she wanted me to say.

  “You said it was Emily’s?”

  “Yes. Though I never saw it before today. She gave it to George for safekeeping, telling him it was for protection. The night before she died, she asked him to give it to me if anything happened to her. Almost as if she knew.”

  “She did know,” Angelica replied. “I told you that she and I discussed her moving on.”

  I lifted a hand to my forehead. “That’s right. I forgot.”

  Cade glanced toward the door, and the voices outside in the hall. “I think you two should continue your talk elsewhere. The nurses are set to come in, and that means…” he gestured to George still on the bed.

  “No. I want to be here for George. I want to be here when they mark time of death.”

  “Lou, it’s a tedious process and I have the means to make it go more speedily. I can’t do what I have to do with you here.” He tapped his pocket. “Besides, I have to get Georgie to Memento Mori for processing.”

  I chuckled. “What can’t you do if I’m around? Seduce the nurses into giving you the paperwork?”

  He lifted one shoulder and let it drop.

  “Ugh. I’m not hearing this.”