Collecting Scars

by Tee Smith

  Some things in life you wish you could take back, but life does not let you have re-dos. Emma had chased him ever since. She took every opportunity to touch him as she passed him at the bar or in the office. Brushing past him, when she had plenty of space. Dropping the odd suggestive comment here and there.

  Now things were starting to get more serious with Asha, it was really making him feel uncomfortable. He had tried explaining to her that he was serious about Asha, but she was not letting it go. What was it with girls?

  ***

  He and Asha spent an amazing night together, eventually falling off to sleep in the early hours of Sunday morning. As often happened, he was woken by Asha crying out in her sleep. She had told him, she sometimes had nightmares.

  He had nightmares himself in the first six months after losing Maddie. He would wake up in a cold sweat, after having dreamt that he fought off an attacker and rescued her, only to wake and find it was not true. Maddie was still gone.

  Around ten the next morning he was awoken by a knocking on the front door. He looked over to Asha who was sleeping peacefully. It made his heart swell to see her in a happy dream-like state.

  Fishing around beside the bed, he retrieved his boxers and went to answer the door. Being Sunday morning, it was probably the Duncans. He knew they did not 'approve' of his staying in their daughter's house. If only they knew the men that Joanie brought home on a regular basis, they would probably drag her back home and lock her up in her bedroom.

  Being an older house, it had a long hallway with the bedrooms, toward the back. Joanie's bedroom was on the left as he walked down the hall. Her door was closed. No doubt she was probably still asleep. So he would have to deal with her parents alone.

  As he swung the door in towards himself, he stepped back in surprise. The Duncans were not on the doorstep as he expected, instead a young hippy looking man, complete with shoulder-length dreadlocks and tattooed arms poking out from under his colourful tie-dyed hoodie. Xavier thought he was in a time-warp, maybe he was still dreaming. Until the man in front of him spoke.

  “Oh hey man,” he even sounded like a hippy. “Is this where Asha lives?

  Xavier was unimpressed a man showing up at the door looking for Asha, who was he an ex-boyfriend perhaps?

  “Maybe, who wants to know?” he huffed out.

  Before the man at the door had a chance to reply, he heard a high-pitched squeal and turned to see Asha sprinting down the long hallway in a pair of short silk pyjama shorts with his t-shirt, hanging loosely over the top. When she reached the door she threw herself into the man's arms, wrapping herself tightly around him. Xavier felt a huge stab of jealousy. That was an emotion he was unfamiliar with.

  Asha pulled back and put both her palms to the man's face, the smile on her face was amazing, he wished it were for him.

  “What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming,” she gushed.

  “Wanted to come and see you Asha-girl.”

  'Asha-girl' who is this guy? Xavier stepped closer, drawing himself up to his full height, puffing his chest out. This was his girl, who did this clown think he was?

  “You're looking so good,” she grabbed his locks in her hands. “Haven’t had a haircut yet I see,” she giggled.

  Xavier cleared his throat, clearly Asha and hippy boy had forgotten he was in their presence.

  “Oh sorry Xave,” Asha quickly moved to his side and wrapped her arm around his waist. That was better. Show this hippy who she belonged too.

  “This is my baby brother Patrick. Patrick, this is my...um,” she looked up at him, clearly unsure how to introduce him. “Boyfriend,” she blurted out quickly, “Xavier.”

  Xavier felt a wave of relief rush through his body, it was only her brother. Asha had talked about her brother. She had not mentioned he looked like a dope-smoking reject from the seventies, but at least now he understood her excitement at seeing him.

  Xavier and Patrick exchanged manly nods and shook hands, before he excused himself, offering to go start the coffee machine and leaving the siblings to get reacquainted.

  In the kitchen alone, Xavier's head spun like a top. Asha had referred to him as her boyfriend. He guessed that made it official now. It was always weird territory to navigate, especially as people got older. In school, if he wanted a girlfriend, he would ask a girl to be his girlfriend. As an adult, it did not really work the same way. Stupid rules, he thought to himself shaking his head. But now, he had a girlfriend and he was taking her home tonight to have dinner with his parents and he had been jealous just now, of her brother. It was already all over for him, he was gone for.

  Chapter 15

  ASHA HAD SPENT THE DAY catching up with Patrick. Gosh, she had missed him so much. She hadn't even realised how much, until the very moment she saw him again.

  Xavier was picking her up soon to go to his parent's house for dinner and she was getting nervous. He had not stayed long this morning. Especially once Frank and Mary had arrived. She knew he and Frank did not get along. Then again, she couldn't imagine anyone getting along with Frank. Obviously, his wife liked him, even that was surprising.

  She felt awful leaving Patrick on his first night in town, but Joanie had promised to look after him. Asha was not so keen on that idea and had given Patrick a lecture before about keeping his dick in his pants around her housemate. The last thing she needed was awkwardness between her housemate and her brother. They were both adults, they could do what they liked, but she knew that would make things weird.

  Riding out to Xavier's parent's house, she kept running over in her head how his dad had been with her in her office that day. Whilst she adored Mrs Arnold, she had felt odd with her husband ever since then. Not that he had given her any more reason too. He had been on his best behaviour since that incident.

  Socialising outside of work with patients didn’t feel right. However, she knew her professional boundaries and was quite happy not to step outside of them.

  They rode for some time, Asha had not realised the Arnolds lived so far out of the city. Through the foothills, the roads were windy and there was lots of vegetation on the side of the roads. Horses grazed in nearby paddocks, the area was, what she thought was referred to as semi-rural.

  Asha had grown up in the suburbs and then moved to the city as a teen. Having never held a license she rarely ventured out of built up areas. It was very pretty.

  It was late afternoon and the air around them was turning cold. At least she had Xavier to wrap her body around to keep warm. Eventually, Xavier slowed and turned into a tree-lined gravel driveway. The house was not visible from the street. When they reached it, Asha was amazed to see a beautiful old stone cottage. It had verandas all around and she could even see smoke billowing from a chimney above the roof. The family car, a green Commodore, was parked at the side of the house. Vines grew up over the sides of the carport and along the top of the veranda. Asha was sure she had never seen anything quite so lovely in her life.

  “Wow!” she exclaimed to Xavier as she climbed off the bike and removed her helmet. “This place is gorgeous, did you really grow up here?”

  “Sure did,” Xavier beamed with pride.

  “I didn't think places like this even existed outside the movies,” Asha shook her head, looking towards the house with a huge grin.

  “You need to get out more,” Xavier laughed, then held his hand out to her. “C'mon, let's get you inside before you freeze.”

  That she had to agree was a very good idea. As they approached the front door, it swung open and there stood Mrs Arnold, looking ever the fifties housewife, complete with an apron tied around her middle. She wished, not for the first time that her own mum could have been more like Annie Arnold. No wonder Xavier had turned out so charming.

  “Asha,” the older woman smiled a beautiful warm smile and welcomed her in with open arms, then pulled back and hugged her son.

  “Come on in, it's freezing out here. Hugh has the fire blazing, you'll be warm i
n here in no time.”

  She turned her glare to Xavier, “I can't believe you made her come out here on that thing, in this cold,” she scolded, referring to his motorbike.

  “It's okay Mrs Arnold,” Asha soothed.

  “See she likes it,” Xavier chuckled and his mother shook her head in disbelief.

  Once in the house, Mr Arnold greeted them both, Asha with a hug and Xavier with a handshake.

  Asha had not known him to be so friendly with her, but she had to remind herself she was there as Xavier's girlfriend, not as their nurse.

  Mrs Arnold retreated to the kitchen and Xavier offered to show her around the house where he had grown up. His bedroom was now used as a storage space, Maddie's bedroom door was closed and spoken about only in hushed tones. No one was to enter that space. She saw photos hanging on the wall of Xavier and Maddie as children growing up. The photos showed Xavier with white-blonde hair as a youngster, gradually darkening as he grew up to what it was now. Still blond, but more a dark, dirty blonde. Maddie, however, had gorgeous long blonde flowing locks. Much like Asha's own hair, but hers was dark. This was the first time she had seen a photo of Maddie. She was a pretty girl, with a friendly face and those same beautiful green eyes that Xavier shared with his dad. A similar smile to Xavier's too.

  Next, he took her out the back door.

  “Don't you two go too far, your mother is about to serve up the meal,” Mr Arnold called out. “And stay away from my shed.”

  “Yeah I know Dad,” Xavier sighed. “He's precious about his damn shed,” he explained to her.

  The back yard was pretty, a small enclosed area, sectioned off by a white-picket-fence which enclosed a cottage style garden and clothesline. Beyond the fence, Asha could see the shed that Mr Arnold had referred to. There was a crooked brick-paved pathway that led to a small gate at the back of the yard which was access to the shed, or sheds as far Asha could see.

  It was cold and nearing dark now. Xavier pulled her into his arms and hugged her back to his front, keeping them both warm as they stood on the back deck and Xavier pointed out a few select landmarks. The nearest neighbours were five-hundred metres to the left he explained. The neighbours to the right were a little further again. The back of the property backed onto state forest.

  “Why is your dad so precious about his sheds?” Asha enquired. Maybe it was a dad thing, she did not remember her dad having a shed, but some of her memories of him were hazy.

  “He keeps Maddie's car in there. Everything of Maddie's is 'off limits' if you hadn't already worked that out?” he rolled his eyes.

  “He's kept her car all this time?”

  “Yeah, it's a sweet little mustang, I'll show you one day, when grumps isn't around,” he shook his head, looking towards the house. “It's a funny story. My grandma died, dads mum. Then a few years later ol' grandpa found out he was dying, I can't remember what from now. Anyway,” he huffed out a laugh “he sold his house and bought my sister the little mustang that’s out there, and bought me my bike.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, Mum nearly had kittens. I was only twenty-one, Madds' must have been eighteen. Then he took the old girl from next door on a round the world cruise. Spent every last cent he had. When he died, he had left explicit instructions with the funeral director, everything was paid for, including the wake.”

  Asha had some experience with people's dying wishes, sometimes they were about taking care of their families, others were a little like Xavier's granddad. She always liked the stories where people chose to do something that was deemed out of the ordinary.

  “That’s pretty cool,” she smiled.

  “He told my dad, that he was spending all the money they had left so dad wouldn't be able to gamble it all away”

  Asha could feel Xavier's chest moving at her back as he chuckled, “Why is that even funny?”

  “Far as I know, dad never placed a bet in his whole life.”

  That was funny, they both laughed at that.

  “Sounds like your grandpa was a real character.”

  “He sure was.”

  “Enough of that,” came a grumpy voice, as the back door swung open. “It's time to come wash up for dinner.”

  Inside the kitchen, stood a beautiful old range. Asha thought she would definitely learn to cook if she owned one of those. In the middle of the room was a huge old oak dinner table, with heavy oak chairs all around it. Made for a large family. How sad she thought to herself that it may never be surrounded by a room full of grandchildren. Even if Xavier were to have kids, Annie Arnold would not live long enough to meet them. Such a shame, she would make an amazing grandma.

  Following an incredible meal of roast beef with all the trimmings, they bid the Arnolds farewell and headed back into the city. Asha had work in the morning, so Xavier dropped her off at home. As they shared a long kiss goodnight at the front door, it was hard to tear herself away, she wished he was staying with her. As always he insisted on waiting for her to go into the house before he left. She could hear his bike tearing off down the street when she closed the door behind her. Patrick was passed out on the couch, she stood watching him sleep for a while, then planted a kiss on this head, before heading off down the hall for her bed.

  Life was truly wonderful.

  Chapter 16

  “SO TRICK,” ASHA SAID PRODDING her brother in the ribs. “Why are you really here?”

  “To see you, big sis,” he said with a mischievous grin.

  “Yeah, but what about Heather? Last time I saw you, you were in love”

  Patrick rolled his eyes, “Hannah, her name was Hannah.”

  “Oh well same thing, what’s the story?”

  “It's over, I came home and found her in bed with Jerry Winters,” he winced.

  “Jerry? You can't be serious? As is in biggest nerd in the world with coke bottle rimmed glasses 'pull my finger' jokes Jerry?” she laughed.

  “The one and only.”

  “Oh Trick,” she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Obviously, the girl has no taste, sounds like you dodged a bullet to me Trick.”

  His shoulders shook and she knew he was crying. She hated to see her brother hurting.

  “I’m sorry bub, that really sucks,” she soothed, rubbing her hand up and down his back.

  Patrick cried for a bit, Asha offered him some tissues and fetched him a glass of water, giving him time to compose himself. When he was back to his usually smiley self, she probed a little further.

  “So how long are you planning on staying here?”

  “What trying to get rid of me already huh?”

  “Me?...Never,” Asha put a hand to her chest, feigning offence.

  “I dunno, probably kick around for a bit. See if I can get a job. I got nowhere else to be.”

  “We don't have a spare room Trick, you're always welcome here, but I’m sure you'll get sick of this dodgy old couch pretty quickly,” she laughed patting the old brown couch that they had acquired from Joanie's parents when they had upgraded.

  “Well, its either here or back with Mum.”

  Asha sneered, she could not think of anything worse than having to live back with her mum, she would rather live on the street.

  “Oh she's not that bad Asha, in fact, you should really get in touch with her. She misses you, you know.”

  “Ahh...I think, no,” Asha stated. End of story. She was not prepared to discuss it any longer. Deciding they needed a change of subject she went on. “So I guess we better get to finding you a job hey?”

  “Yeah I spoke to one of my mates the other day, who tells me there might be a gig coming up at his work soon. Other than that, I'm not sure, will keep an eye on the papers and such.”

  “Something will come along, Trick,” Asha sighed. “You got much money to keep you going? Not that I mind feeding you, but I'm not made of money.”

  “Yeah I should be okay for a little while. I had some savings and got paid out my holidays when I left my job back h
ome.”

  “Why didn't you stay there Trick?”

  He rolled his eyes, “Ash...”

  “I don't mean with her...” she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I mean why did you decide to come here to me?”

  “I just had to get away,” he looked down to his lap, sadness swamping his features. “I couldn't stay there, everyone knew about Hannah and what she had done to me. I couldn't stand their looks of pity as I walked down the street.”

  Asha nodded, she understood that feeling. Poor Patrick. “Well, you stay here with me as long as you need too okay? We'll sort something out. Maybe Xavier might be able to give you a job?”

  “No Asha, I don't want you calling in favours on my behalf. I'll get something okay? Don't stress. Thank you.”

  “It's going to be fun having you around here for a bit anyway. I've missed you.”

  “Aw how cute,” Patrick laughed, poking his fingers into her ribs. “Getting all soppy on me now.”

  Asha squealed and hit out at Patrick trying to push him away, but he was stronger than her.

  “Stop it,” she laughed out. “I got to go get ready for work.”

  It was just like old times, playing and joking around with her baby brother made her happy and sad at the same time. Happy to have him back in her life and sad that she had gone without having him in her life all that time.

  ***

  “Oh my goodness Asha, where have you been hiding him?” Gemma begged in the morning when Patrick dropped her off at work.

  “Who?” Asha asked confused.

  “Who? Are you kidding me? The spunk that just dropped you at work in that, um --whatever you call that thing.”

  Asha laughed, Patrick had turned up in a beat up old car with different coloured panels.

  “That’s my baby brother Patrick.”

  “Can you introduce me?” Gemma wiggled her eyebrows.

  “Really Gem?”