Keeping It: A Navy SEAL meets Virgin Romance

by Rachel Robinson

  Tahoe stretches his neck, his sunglasses still in place. “Leif likes feisty. Are you sure you don’t want to drink? We can produce a DD if need be.”

  “I’m sure. You have fun. Is this some sort of tradition?” I ask. He didn’t give me specifics, not unlike anytime I ask about his job. He merely said it was something they did before a mission, and an opportunity like this is too hard to pass up.

  Tahoe explains that the one time they didn’t go out boozing before a mission a SEAL was killed. Sort of like a good luck charm. He likens it to basketball players not cutting their hair, or hockey players not shaving until the end of the season, but that seems so trivial in comparison. We’re talking about life and death.

  Britt and Whit are making their way over and I see Tahoe’s jaw tick. “Hey guys. A great night for it, huh?” I ask.

  Britt agrees, looking only at me, and tells me about the boutonnieres she selected for the groomsmen today. I pretend to be overly interested, because Whit and Tahoe are talking about something completely unrelated, but they aren’t fighting. That’s what I want. For him to just be himself, not the outsider. A part of Bronze Bay.

  “Shirley told me about NYC. You must be excited. Do you have plans?” Britt asks. I should be skeptical because she rarely takes this much of an interest in me, but I tell her the truth anyways. And I can’t help it, my excitement bleeds into my words. She’s smiling when I finish telling her about the reservation Tahoe made at a restaurant I saw on Sex in the City.

  “You’re lucky, Caroline. I’m so happy for you,” she says, her eyes downcast for a moment, then on her fiancé next to her. All traces of happiness vanish as she looks at Whit and my stomach flips with unease.

  “Want to grab a drink?” I ask, making a grab for her arm. She smiles politely and comes with me toward the kegs. When we’re enough distance away. I just come right out and ask what’s on my mind. “Is everything okay? You seem really sad.”

  Her smile is wistful. “I’m always such a bitch to you, and yet you’re the only person who has noticed I’m not the bubbly bride I’m supposed to be. Why is that?” she asks. I can’t tell if it’s rhetoric.

  I glance back over my shoulder and meet Tahoe’s gaze. He winks once. To Britt I say, “Because it’s Bronze Bay and everyone in it ignores things that might rock the boat. All I do these days is rock the boat. Are you okay? You don’t have to give me details,” I say, shaking my head. “But if you need anything, let me know.” It’s the neighborly thing to say, and I think she’ll respond better to that than if I pry into her life.

  “You’re so sweet, Caroline May. That’s why this place didn’t take you down. Why you’re getting out of here with a man like that. I’m not sure how you managed to remain unscathed, but thank your lucky stars, okay?” she grabs me by both shoulders. “Nothing is as it seems around here.” If she’s just realizing this, I gave her too much credit all of these years.

  “I know that,” I deadpan. “It doesn’t mean you can’t change if something isn’t sitting well with you, though. You don’t have to do something because that’s what everyone else expects you to do.” I learned that the hard way. No one thought I’d get my pilot’s license. Not one of these people, aside from Shirley and maybe Malena, thought I’d eventually take over the airport. They saw my future as the uneducated daughter of really good people. The diner was where I was relinquished.

  She gives me that look. The one that says I don’t have a clue how the world works, and I bite my tongue.

  “He’s cheating on me with Milly,” she says, and then heaves an exasperated sigh. “He was drunk. Because how could he not be.” I mask my face the same way I do when someone at the diner mentions something scandalous and I want to be trusted. She’s not done. Not by a long shot. She wants to spill it all, and she thinks I’m lapping it up. “I mean, he’s always cheating on me, I thought maybe once we were engaged, and then when that didn’t happen. I figured maybe when it gets closer to the wedding he would stop, but now I realize it’s a life sentence if I don’t break up with him now.”

  Swallowing hard, I try to straighten my face into something sympathetic. “I’m so sorry, Britt. You deserve better than that.” I always assumed she knew, but I guess I didn’t realize the extent to which Whit was digging himself down. I can’t help but glance back, but Whit is nowhere to be found, and Tahoe is with a group of his friends surrounding the keg. He’s laughing, and his smile makes my heart skip a beat. He would never be a Whit. He couldn’t.

  “So what do you think?” she asks, drawing my attention back to her.

  “You want my opinion? I’m hardly the person to give opinions about relationships. Mine is so new I’m still peeling off the purchase sticker,” I reply. We slide onto a picnic bench because I can tell this conversation is far from over and she’s latched on to me.

  “If it were you what would you do?”

  “Are you asking for permission to break up with your cheating fiancé?”

  “Of course I don’t need permission,” she says, letting her gaze wander. Probably looking for her manwhore. “Everyone would freak, Caroline. Everyone. I’m basically finished planning. I’ve got wedding gifts lining our hallway. All the gossip aside, we’d lose so much money. God, he’d never forgive me.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Do you really want his forgiveness?”

  She shakes her head. “You’re right. It’s so hard when you’ve been with someone for so long. You wouldn’t understand.”

  Burn. Typical. “I think you should do whatever you want, Britt. I think you can handle whatever happens, but I also know you’re a beautiful girl with a ton of prospects. Maybe one that wouldn’t cheat.”

  “All men cheat, Caroline. It’s a fact of life,” she breathes, tossing her hair back. “A man like yours is the worst kind.” I guess my non-opinion on her love life made me the punching bag.

  “A man like mine?”

  “One everyone wants.”

  My stomach roils. “I’m going to get a drink. Want one?”

  She nods and I rise and make my way toward the keg opposite to the one where someone wearing boots and shorts is doing a keg stand. The raucous cheers and sloshy voices ricochet off the trees lining the sides of the property.

  Once I fill two beers with mostly foam, I head back for Britt and find her talking to Malena, poor old Caroline all but forgotten. I can tell Malena is getting the same earful, and I can’t help but be a little relieved. Maybe Malena will have advice for her. Maybe Malena will have the balls to tell her Whit is a disgusting asshole who should rot at the bottom of the bay. I take a small sip of the light beer and wince. I hate boat beer. It’s what we call all light beer. It goes down like water though and that’s what you want in the hot, hot sun.

  Tahoe sneaks up next to me, and grabs one of my cups. “What is my DD doing with two beers? This place is awesome,” he exclaims.

  Smiling, I nod. “It is. Looks like you guys are having a good time so far. Anyone giving you a hard time?”

  He laughs, the beer already gone. “Who is going to give us a hard time and live to tell about it?”

  He kisses me. It’s all beer and foam and the light scent of his face soap. I go into his arms willingly. He pulls back and looks me from the top of my head down to my breasts and back again. “What were you and the bitch talking about?”

  I sigh, the mood broken. “Her cheating fiancé. She’s thinking about leaving him. I guess he’s just as bad as he’s always been. She thought he’d change.”

  Tahoe throws his head back and laughs. “That’s the oldest, dumbest trick in the book. No one changes. What the other person is willing to accept changes.”

  Biting my lip for a moment, I ask. “You don’t think cheating is okay though, right?”

  His eyes widen. “You think I would cheat?”

  “Of course not,” I say, looking down to the water where several canoes wait for their drunken captains. That won’t happen until later.

  “You do think tha
t. Why?”

  I shrug, look down, and kick the sandy grass. “I don’t have much experience with relationships and Britt mentioned that all men cheat. I know she probably only said that to make herself feel better, but I have to wonder about you guys. Always traveling. Never settling down. Your reputation precedes you in that regard. You admitted you were only in a committed relationship with Stella.”

  I’m glad his sunglasses are on. I hate how sad his eyes get when I mention her name. Like he’s a failure because he couldn’t make it work. He leaves his hands on the small of my waist. “You aren’t Stella. I never felt an ounce of what I feel for you for her. Do you understand? I would never jeopardize what we have. You mean more to me than some one night stand in whatever city I’m staying in. That’s saying it like I mean it, Caroline.” He shakes his head. “Never, and I mean never, doubt my affection for you.”

  It’s nice to hear and it does comfort me, but he does still look like a man that every woman wants. “You look so…handsome. Don’t you get hit on constantly?”

  He chuckles. “You’re worried about other women hitting on me? I like a bit of jealousy, but now you’re going overboard.” Tahoe brushes my bottom lip with both of his thumbs. “I don’t get hit on because I’m rarely in that kind of situation. I won’t be any more especially. Remember this mission is a one off for me. I’ll be home in no time.

  I hop up, throw my hands around his neck and accidentally knock his sunglasses off his face. The sun is setting, but I can still see his monster eyes.

  Instead of picking up his sunglasses, he’s watching my face for a reaction. “Keep them off. It gives you an edge.”

  He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “You’re scared of me. I saw it.”

  Putting my hands on his stomach, I coax him with a few rubs. “I need to get used to your red eyes if you don’t want to wear the sunglasses constantly, Tahoe. Leave them off and let me get used to it.” I stoop to pick them up for him. He examines them and slides them into his t-shirt.

  “Fine. I’ve had just enough to drink to not give a shit, but Caroline?”

  “Yes?”

  He shakes his head. “Never compare me to other men. That’s not fair.”

  My face heats with guilt. “I’m sorry,” I say, interlacing my hands. “Britt said something and I should have just brushed it off. You’ve never done anything to indicate anything but perfection.”

  He lowers his voice. “All these people are jealous of you. All of them. Not because of me, either. Because of you.” He aims one finger at my chest. “I’m not perfect,” he says, backing away from me. “Not even close. I’ve told you there’s no one else for me and I meant it.”

  I’m standing there thinking about various different things. Mostly about how much I love him and how much losing him would hurt. The cheating scenario is there because she said it, but is that how Britt actually feels? I can’t blame her for acting the way she does. It’s unapologetically heinous.

  I hand over my piss beer. “Here. Get back to your friends,” I say.

  He swallows the solo cup full down in one deep swig. “I’ll find you in a bit. I want you to show me around here. Don’t be talking to any naysayers while I’m gone.” He grins, starts backing away from me, but then lunges forward and pulls me in for a world halting kiss.

  I hear manly cheering and I know catty, quiet stares are abound, too.

  But for once, I truly don’t care.

  Comraderie

  Tahoe

  Only a couple dudes from Bronze Bay are brave enough to approach us. It was curiosity, but we were nice enough that they stayed and started drinking keg beer with us. I like that they are comfortable with us enough to hang out because it means we are making progress in being considered locals, and they tell us shit about the town we don’t know. They’re like clueless informants we can be friends with. Last I saw Caroline, she was with a group of girls and her face wasn’t completely miserable looking, so she must be having an okay time. She’s steered clear of Britt and Whit, though I haven’t seen the latter since we spoke earlier. There’s that many people here right now. It’s impressive.

  I’m pissed Caroline doubts my feelings for her, even if the doubt came from a woman scorned, but at this point in my evening I’m so drunk that it’s hard to decipher any of my emotions. Leif went off to try to woo Malena back into his car like some horny high schooler, and Aidan is next to me shooting the shit with a few of our other teammates. We’re telling stories, getting caught up in the past. This is what I need. The atmosphere is intoxicating—the salty ocean air breezes in every once in a while, and now that I’m getting used to the heat, I can appreciate the warmth in the air. We’re sitting around a bonfire, and one of the guys switched us to bourbon about an hour ago. I considered not drinking my share, but didn’t turn it down either. Now, the world around me is a nice shade of fuzzy fuck all.

  My eyes are fucked all to shit. The doc says I should be happy I still have my vision, but they look like hell. Literally. The drunker I get, the more I forget about the injury until someone talks to me and their eyes widen as they notice it.

  “What the fuck are you on, dude?” a guy asks, slinking down on a wide tree stump next to me. He works at the home improvement store in town. I recognize the scar on his face.

  Swallowing the last sip in my own cup, I toss it to the ground and reply with the truth. He listens intently, but he’s just as drunk as I am so I’m sure the story sounds like an elaborate cover for drug addiction or the likes. To change the subject I ask him about the brass drawer pulls I ordered last week and he just stares at me. Granted, I slurred through a couple of words, but he knows I’m done explaining.

  Leaning in closer to my face, he repeats, “Your eyes are so fucked up.”

  One time in a bar in Texas I knocked out a guy for breathing in my space. He was also fucking up my game with the brunette of the night. The chick ended up getting wet because she dug assholes, and what is more of an asshole move than knocking out another dude for smiling too wide? Not much. “Get out of my face,” I say, making sure my smile is equal parts threat as it is gleeful.

  He shakes his head and leans back. “Want to go canoeing?” he says, hiking his thumb over his shoulder. “They keep a bunch of canoes over there. You can paddle out to the river from here if you’re strong enough to make it.” The challenge makes me laugh. “Some of us race at the end of the night.” I look to my right to see if my buddies have heard.

  “Something I can’t resist,” I coo. “Sloppy drunk I will crush you.” I nod to his face. “That what happened to your face? Get a little too drunk and crash your baby boat?”

  He stands, shaking his head. “Nah, car accident,” he replies. “I’d gladly scar the other side of my face if it means beating you assholes.”

  My teammates are in the conversation now—the spark of a challenge lighting them like a strand of Christmas lights. One by one, they decide it’s the best idea they’ve heard all month. Others join my hardware employee friend on their side and we swagger and sway down to the inlet. Our proverbial guns loaded. Solar powered lights line a seashell path on the ground, but I stumble into one, crushing it into shards. Leif calls out from behind and I turn toward his voice.

  Malena and Caroline are standing on either side of him. “Get your ass up here!” he hollers. I break another of the lights by barely stepping on it. The crunching sound of glass echoes as I pick up my flip flop and head back up the embankment toward Caroline.

  “You’re not really going to race canoes with them are you?” Caroline says, lunging forward when I’m close enough to touch. She sees my eyes, and probably the way I’m swaying like the wind. “Come,” she pulls on my arm. “Talk to me.”

  Leif cackles. “He’s been challenged, darling. He’ll be racing itty bitty boats and win if it kills him,” he chortles.

  “But you’re so drunk,” Caroline says, blinking her big, beautiful eyes. Her face is moonlit perfection. “People have drowned bef
ore. It’s so…stupid.”

  “It’s a celebration of life,” I reply. “Are you underestimating my skills? Please.”

  Leif laughs, Malena takes a large swallow of her drink, and Caroline folds her arms across her chest. “Just go, Leif,” Malena says. “They’ll crown you king of Bronze Bay in no time. Plus, if you guys win, your street cred will go up.” I think we’ve found the only place on earth where our career doesn’t endow us with street cred on its own. We kind of like it. A level playing field is where we stand out the most.

  “A title I will cherish forever, madam,” Leif replies, snaking an arm around the petite brunette.

  Caroline watches them with a scowl on her face. “You’re being unreasonable,” she says, swiveling to face me. “We could head back to my place and…hang out.”

  I stumble backwards a touch. “This will be quick and then we can go back to your place,” I reply.

  Her face settles into stoic annoyance. “Guess there had to be something,” Caroline snaps, eyeing me and then Leif. “Idiot when drunk. Check.”

  Idiot? Idiot? Idiot? If I wasn’t so obsessed with the package of Caroline May I would throttle her. I’m a lot of things, but in this unfettered moment of weakness, she’s calling me an idiot. I swallow hard and try to reign in the anger.

  Leif ambles away shaking his head and laughing. Malena almost falls and he catches her, his hands like bear paws all over her body. Dog. “This was a bad idea. I’m glad I got a chance to see it,” Caroline says.