Lily’s War

by June Francis

  ‘Well, that’s no good if he hasn’t got a job.’

  ‘That’s what she told him the other day. I heard them arguing.’

  Lily wondered if Frank still had any part in her sister’s life but kept quiet.

  She had just switched the potatoes off when she heard voices in the yard, then something crashed against the wall. She hurried over to the door and opened it. ‘Hello, love,’ she said.

  Ronnie straightened up, bicycle clips in hand, head held on one side. His face had changed, was longer, angular, and the sleeves of his blazer and shirt exposed bony wrists. ‘It is you!’ His voice broke, deepened mannishly. ‘I wasn’t sure if our May was having me on.’

  ‘No, it’s really me.’ She smiled, touched him, was reassured as to his well-being. ‘Tea’ll be ready in a minute.’

  Over tea they talked and talked, until Ronnie remembered he had Scouts that evening, changed and dashed out. May also vanished, saying she was just nipping up to Jean McGuire’s house. They were going to have to go at doing each other’s hair differently.

  Lily looked across at Ben, feeling like a spare part with the rest of the family out on this her first evening home. ‘What about you? Haven’t you got somewhere to go?’

  ‘Later,’ he said, a slight pucker between his dark brows. He lit a cigarette. His smoking was something new but she kept quiet. ‘Lil, you do realise there could be a war?’

  She paused in mid-stitch. ‘Daisy said something about Poland but surely the Germans have got more sense than to push their luck?’

  ‘Hitler thinks we won’t fight because nobody’s stopped him so far – but we’re going to have to if he invades Poland.’

  ‘Why are you telling me this now?’ she said lightly.

  ‘You know I’m in the Territorials – so it’s likely I’ll be among the first lot to be called up. In fact, I might volunteer.’

  She was stunned for a moment, and when she did speak, her voice was a harsh whisper. ‘After all what Dad said about the Great War I never did understand why you joined the Territorials.’

  ‘Didn’t you?’ He drew on his cigarette and a veil of smoke drifted in the air between them. ‘It was because of what happened to Dad. I didn’t want to end up in the army knowing nothing. I wanted to make sure I knew more about staying in one piece than Dad did. I remember Mam telling us how thousands volunteered in the last war, thinking it was something noble and that they’d easily thrash the life out of Jerry. I don’t think like that … but I’d enjoy having a go at the Nazis because I can’t stand the way they think they’re so perfect.’ His eyes met hers. ‘And as well as that, a German shell destroyed the man Dad could have been as surely as that horse killed him when it kicked his head in.’

  Lily nodded. ‘OK, I understand. It’s just that—’

  ‘I know. It’s just that you’re a woman and you want me safe.’ He raised his shoulders, then let them drop. ‘Forget about it for now. I was just warning you if you were planning on staying that it’s not going to be a picnic.’ He picked up a book, opened it, slammed it shut and stared at her, his eyes concerned. ‘It won’t be like the last war, Lil. Liverpool will be a prime target for the bombers. Lloyd George realised that back in ’37. Hitler will try and destroy our ships and the docks. We’re an island race.’

  Tentacles of fear gripped her stomach. ‘Are you trying to frighten me into going back to Australia?’ She forced a laugh. ‘I’ve burnt my boats, Ben! I’ve some money left from what Uncle William gave me but that’s for a rainy day. Besides is Australia that safe? Pete, Joy’s husband, said something about the Japs. I’d just as soon take my chances over here. This is my country.’

  Unexpectedly he smiled. ‘You still feel like that? You made Australia sound pretty special to the kids.’

  ‘Even the Garden of Eden must have had its drawbacks or Eve wouldn’t have listened to the serpent,’ she said lightly, switching on the wireless. ‘How about a cuppa before you go out?’

  ‘I won’t bother, thanks.’ He squeezed her shoulder and left the room.

  A thoughtful Lily had just finished scalding the milking pails when Daisy came in. She stood in the doorway, watching Lily dry her hands before bursting out, ‘I wouldn’t have said yes if you hadn’t come home but seeing how you have I did and I think it’s only right because he’ll be leaving soon and I won’t see him for ages and he wants me now.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  Lily stared at her sister’s flushed face. Her eyes glistened and she gripped her handbag tightly. ‘I’m going to marry Ted! It’ll have to be a register office do. We haven’t time for banns.’

  With her mind still filled with all that Ben had said, Lily thought, not another blinkin’ would-be hero! ‘What’s he gone and done?’

  Daisy took a deep breath. ‘Joined the navy. It’s better than being on the dole. We’ll just have a little party here and a night in Southport before he goes. I’ve saved a bit of money that’ll help pay for it.’

  Lily felt an almost hysterical laugh building up inside her. ‘When?’

  ‘Next week.’ A shadow crossed her heart-shaped face. ‘The only snag is getting a job if I’m married. I’ve got to save for when we get a place of our own.’

  Lily almost said, you’ll get one if there’s going to be a war, but thought it wiser to keep quiet. ‘You’ll find something,’ she murmured.

  Daisy gave her a radiant smile before leaving the room and running upstairs.

  It was not until Lily went to bed that she saw her wedding dress hanging from the picture rail. It caused her heart to turn over. ‘You’re going to wear my dress?’ Her voice came out as a husky whisper.

  Daisy turned from the mirror, her face covered with Pond’s Cold Cream. She looked anxious. ‘You did say I could, Lil. I know it’s not going to be in church but I want to put on a good show.’

  Lily smiled but considered had she known then how much it would hurt seeing it again, she would have buried it six foot under on the farm. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes on the dress but she could not shut out the memories.

  The next evening her aunt and uncle called, Ben having informed them of Lily’s return home. Dora parked herself on the most comfortable chair nearest the fire. ‘Well, it’s nice to see you, Lily, but why that husband of yours has to go headhunting when he has a wife to take care of, I don’t know! I always thought he had no sense.’

  ‘Perhaps he’s really got a line to the Almighty and he knew we needed her here right now?’ said William, beaming at Lily and squeezing her hand.

  ‘That’s as maybe,’ retorted Dora. ‘But what about Daisy? I suppose she’s got herself in trouble and that’s the reason for the rush?’

  ‘You’ve got too much of a suspicious mind, Aunt Dora,’ said Lily, controlling her temper and telling them about Ted joining the navy.

  ‘I suppose she won’t be the first if war comes,’ said Dora, her cheeks wobbling slightly. ‘You’d better get stocking the cupboards, Lily. There’s bound to be shortages. And I’ll give you some chicks to rear and make sure you have a cockerel.’

  ‘It hasn’t happened yet,’ growled William, his face a bright purplish-red. ‘Don’t be worrying the girl.’

  ‘No, it mightn’t happen,’ said Lily cheerfully, not wanting her uncle to start worrying about Ben. She changed the subject quickly. ‘You are coming to the wedding then?’

  They nodded and asked her about Australia. She began to talk about Queensland. William’s high colour subsided and she breathed easier.

  As befitted her special day Daisy was having a lie-in with breakfast in bed on the morning of the wedding while Lily attended to the customers. It was barely eight o’clock when Frank Jones entered, an arm behind his back. It was the first time Lily had seen him since her return and she thought that despite his hair being thinner he looked better than when she had left. She smiled in a friendly fashion, wondering why he had come in today of all days. How did he feel about Daisy getting married? ‘H
ello, Frank. Long time no see.’ She smiled warmly.

  He flushed. ‘It’s good to see you, Lily.’ He brought his hand from behind his back and flourished a bunch of pink tulips. ‘These are to say welcome home. Mam got some from the market today. I don’t know if they have them in Australia.’

  Lily was touched by the gesture. ‘They’re lovely! That’s really kind of you, Frank.’ She placed the flowers on a stool. ‘How are things with you? How’s your mam?’

  He rested his elbows on the counter and leaned towards her.

  ‘I’ve joined the civil defence! Mam’s not pleased because she thinks the Jerry planes won’t be able to get over the Pennines, that it’s just an excuse for me to get out of the house, but it isn’t, Lily,’ he said earnestly. ‘If war comes civilians will be on the battle front as well as the soldiers. I’m training as an air raid warden. I want to do my bit here in Liverpool.’

  ‘That’s very worthy of you, Frank,’ she said, thinking that in the Great War men of his age staying at home would probably have been given a white feather.

  ‘I’m glad you think so.’ He added hesitantly, ‘I know I had hopes myself once but I don’t begrudge Daisy her happiness. Tell her that and give her my best wishes.’

  Her heart softened. ‘That’s real nice of you, Frank.’ She covered his hand with hers. ‘You’re a nice man altogether.’

  He reddened as he stared down at her hand. ‘I’d better go. Mam’ll be wondering where I am.’

  ‘You don’t want any milk?’ She removed her hand.

  ‘I’ll come back later,’ he said gruffly, turning to go. He stopped abruptly and gazed at her. ‘They’re saying Matt’s been got at by headhunters. Is it true?’

  Lily’s heart flipped over painfully. ‘No, Frank.’ Her voice was firm. ‘They’re being got at by him. See you later.’

  She felt sympathy as he went and for some inexplicable reason into her head came the words ‘Always the bridesmaid never the blushing bride’. Because if Frank ever did get married he would blush and might not know what to do with his bits and pieces!

  Thinking like that reminded her of her wedding night but she pulled herself up short. It was going to be an emotional day as it was, so she’d be better not go making herself miserable this early in the morning.

  The rest of the day was certainly one of mixed feelings; seeing Daisy with her newly permed hair, wearing her wedding dress, caused Lily to wish she could turn the clock back but it was too late now, she told herself. Life had to be taken as it came.

  As the year progressed Lily discovered it was impossible to pretend that there might not be war. Naval reservists were called up as well as other men of twenty and twenty-one for the forces. Ben broke the news that he was leaving.

  ‘But war hasn’t even been declared!’ she cried, gripping the back of a chair. ‘Can’t they wait? Why the rush? It might never happen!’

  ‘Of course it’s going to happen and you know it,’ he said, wandering round the room, picking up things and putting them down again. ‘We’ve discussed it. Hitler has no sense of honour and you can’t believe anything he has to say. He said he’d keep out of Spain and he didn’t.’

  Lily sank on to a chair, feeling as if a dark pit had opened beneath her. ‘It’s horrible!’

  Ben looked uncomfortable. ‘Yeah, but keep your chin up, Lil. It won’t make me feel any better if I know you lot are all worrying about me. Pray for me and think the best.’

  She nodded and asked if he had told Uncle William.

  ‘I thought it best. He took the news better than I imagined. I think he was half expecting it, but Aunt Dora exploded and told me I should have said I worked on the farm and was indispensable.’

  Lily wanted to say, I agree with her for once, but she didn’t. ‘I suppose Ronnie can help me with the milking, and during the school holidays he can help with your job.’

  ‘That’s what I said to Uncle William and I could see he was pleased with the idea. Ronnie’s been helping me since Dad died, as you know, and he’ll be fifteen at the end of the month. He could leave school now, really.’

  ‘No!’ said Lily, hitting the arm of the chair with the palm of her hand. ‘He won that scholarship so he’s staying on.’

  ‘OK.’ He juggled the change in his pocket. ‘That’s settled then. You can tell Ronnie after I’ve gone. I don’t want any fuss.’

  So Ben went off to prepare for war with no flags flying and no farewell party and Lily wondered what her father would have thought of his sons.

  Ronnie was perfectly amenable to the idea of continuing to help with the milking, although he had not done the early one since Lily had come home and had trouble getting up, not always hearing her call. At first he was inclined to fall asleep, his head resting against the flank of a cow, but eventually his body clock got the hang of early rising again and they worked well as a team.

  Lily gave herself no time to brood, filling her hours with work. Her chicks grew and her cockerel started to cause a disturbance in the neighbourhood. She joined the WVS and knitted blankets and socks and learnt first aid. She bought blackout material and despite her dislike of sewing, with Daisy’s, and May’s, help made curtains for all the windows.

  They were just in time, for on the day the Orangemen marched it was announced in the Liverpool Echo that there was to be a blackout in the north-west as far as Chester and Northwich. It was to take place from midnight for four hours the following night to test the ARP machine. Wartime conditions would be simulated by having mock gas attacks and explosions, fires and rescues from collapsed buildings. The RAF would fly overhead to check the blackout, although Speke had been given permission to leave their lights on as the production of war planes was deemed more important than a blackout practice.

  Lily allowed Ronnie and May to stay up to see what it would be like. It was a dark night with heavy cloud and rain but they managed to catch a glimpse of the odd plane’s navigation light and heard a couple of explosions. It seemed unreal to Lily, as unreal as her dreams of Matt and war-painted natives, of cooking pots and Australian Aborigines, of sun and storm, mosquitoes and Rob Fraser.

  Bombs falling in Liverpool! It couldn’t possibly happen … but Frank assured her that it could.

  Some in Liverpool thought the war had started when a couple of pillar boxes were blown out at the corner of Green Lane but it was not the Germans but the IRA, and the man apprehended said he hadn’t believed the bombs would go off.

  ‘And if you believe that, you’d believe anything,’ said Aunt Dora with a sniff.

  Shortly afterwards the German High Command declared there would be war over Germany’s claim to Danzig if the Führer said so; they had the best workers, weapons and soldiers in the world now. It was sabre-rattling at its worse and infuriated Lily for it was common knowledge that thousands of German Jews and non-Aryans had left Germany that year in fear of their lives.

  To get away from the news she took May to Lewis’s where there were millions of flowers displayed as part of the Liverpool Flower Show. It was a haven of fragrance that soothed them, but they could not forget the possibility of war for long. Remembering what Dora had said about shortages to come, Lily bought May several frocks for the autumn, a new suit for Ronnie, and some flannelette sheets for 2/6 a pair.

  Then everything seemed to gather momentum. British ships on the Yangtse River were bombed, allegedly by the Japanese. Germany made a non-intervention pact with Russia and Hitler was jubilant. Britain reaffirmed its agreement with Poland to fight if its interests were violated and British cities prepared to evacuate mothers and children.

  May and Ronnie were determined not to go.

  ‘You need me to help with the milking,’ said Ronnie earnestly. ‘And besides, I’m going to volunteer my services. I’ve been talking to Mr Jones and he says they’ll need lads like me with a bike and knowledge of the city when the air raids happen.’

  ‘I’ll have him!’ said Lily, infuriated. ‘I don’t want him filling your head
with thoughts of heroics. You’re going! You’ll enjoy Wales. It’s a lovely country.’

  ‘I hate the country,’ said May moodily, swinging her gas mask. ‘Nothing happens there.’

  ‘There won’t be any bombs, that’s the main thing,’ said Lily.

  Ronnie’s head turned in her direction. ‘Our May can go and stay at Uncle William’s farm. It’s in the country.’

  ‘Only just,’ said Lily.

  ‘It’s enough,’ said May, her face brightening. ‘Although there’ll be Aunt Dora to put up with.’

  A slight smile eased Lily’s taut expression. ‘I think it’s more of a case of whether she’ll put up with you.’

  ‘I’ll get round Uncle William,’ said May positively. ‘He likes me.’

  Lily’s eyes narrowed. Her sister was growing up too fast for her liking. Still, better for her to be closer to home under Dora’s eye. ‘All right. You can both go to the farm if they agree.’

  ‘No!’ said Ronnie, his jaw set determinedly as he stared at Lily. ‘I’m not a kid. I’m fifteen. I don’t have to go back to the grammar now there’s going to be a war. I can stay here and look after you and Daisy and do Ben’s job full-time.’

  Lily’s heart sank. ‘Now, Ron …’ she began.

  He turned his head, presenting her with his deaf side. ‘I’m not listening.’

  May grinned. ‘Let him stay. I’ll get round Uncle William the better if he’s not watching.’

  ‘You’d better be on your best behaviour, my girl, that’s all,’ said Lily, agreeing reluctantly that Ronnie could stay.

  Less than a month later Lily was regretting her decision and had spilled her first tears of the war. After Hitler’s solemn assurance he wouldn’t wage war on women and children, a refugee train in Poland had been bombed and the liner Athenia had been torpedoed in the Atlantic.

  She had no doubt he would bomb British cities if he got the chance and wondered if Matt in his Papuan hideway had any idea that Britain and its Empire were at war.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lily went over to the half-open window and pulled aside the curtain but she could not see or hear any planes despite having heard the blood-freezing sound of the siren earlier. Ronnie was talking to Frank in the dark street below when suddenly the all-clear sounded.