Sean

by Desiree Wilder

  He put his hands up to his neck and his face turned red. “Fuck you, man!” He swung at me, but I just pulled my upper body back and watched his slow, unsteady fist go by.

  “Have a good night,” I told him and grabbed the beers. I motioned for Brynn to head back to our spot and I followed.

  Ethan met us before we were halfway back. “Everything okay?” he asked. I nodded. He looked at the drunk and then at the bartender. She nodded. “Red shirt,” he said into his walkie. “Get him on the shuttle back to the campground. Thanks.”

  Impressive. Quite a team they have here. We handed out the drinks and took our spot on the stool again.

  “Thank you for staying cool,” Brynn said.

  I smiled and kissed her. “You’re welcome.”

  We enjoyed the rest of the concert and loved the fireworks show. It was a night to remember, but I was ready to head back to the cabin for some alone time with Brynn.

  “Ethan’s gonna cook some breakfast at our place,” Gia said. “You two up for it?”

  I looked at Brynn and read her expression. “Thanks, Gia, but I think we’re gonna call it a night,” I told her.

  “I thought you might.” She winked. “See you tomorrow then.”

  Brynn and I went down the steps and toward our cabin. I had my arm around her and she had her head against my shoulder. We’d had quite a day and were both exhausted. I couldn’t wait to cozy up next to her in the canopy covered bed.

  “Thanks for a great first day,” Brynn said as she undressed for bed.

  “Thank you, Brynn,” I told her as I watched her get all the way down to her little black panties. I opened a couple of the blinds slightly, just to let some moonlight in before I turned out the lights and followed her into the bed.

  “This is where I’ve wanted to be all night. Now that we’re here, all I can think about is sleeping,” she said apologetically.

  “I’m perfectly fine with sleeping. I think our day packed with new and exciting things caught up with us about an hour ago.” I pulled her close.

  “Please tell me we’re sleeping in tomorrow,” she said as she wrapped her arm and leg around me.

  “You can sleep as long as you want.” I kissed the top of her head. “Then I want to take you to the city and look around, maybe do a little shopping.”

  “Sounds fun.” She kissed me. “Good night.” She could hardly hold her eyes open.

  I smiled. “Good night.”

  Chapter 7

  When I awoke, we were exactly as we’d fallen asleep. I got up quietly and showered. I took a cup of tea out on the porch and enjoyed the smell of the flowers and the blue sky. It was so fresh and quiet compared to the city.

  “Good morning,” Brynn said as she came out to join me. She had a blanket wrapped around her and her eyes were still sleepy. She sat on my lap and put her head on my shoulder.

  “Good morning, sexy. You look as though you aren’t quite ready to be up yet.”

  “I’m not, but I don’t want to waste vacation time sleeping.”

  I chuckled. “What do you think vacation is for? Resting and relaxing.”

  “I’ll be awake when I get out of the shower. I just wanted to see you first,” she said.

  She went in and showered and then I put cream and a new bandage on her head. I walked over and got Gia’s car while Brynn was getting ready.

  Gia showed me all the things Ethan had done to his place while she was in California. I was impressed. She took me into the meditation room he’d added on for her and showed me the framed words I’d told her after Ethan and I watched the tapes from her repressed memories.

  “That’s awesome,” I told her. “You seem like you’re doing really well.”

  “I never imagined life could be this good,” she said. “I’m pinching myself constantly, thinking I’m going to wake up on my couch in my old apartment.” She laughed. Her face glowed with happiness. “How about you? Things going well?” she asked.

  Brynn popped into my head and it made me smile. “Yeah, things are looking up in the romance department for sure.”

  “It was nice to see you two together last night,” she said. “I want you both to be happy and have some fun. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay, because you’ve made a new friend.”

  “I agree, although I have high hopes of it working out. She’s opened up to me about a lot of things already and I know I need to be careful with her, but without getting specific, am I setting myself up for a fall here? You wouldn’t have set me up with her if there were some serious issues, right?” I felt it was all right to ask as long as I didn’t press too hard for details.

  “Of course I wouldn’t have given her your number if I thought she was gonna hurt you. She’s a sweet, lonely girl who happens to be a virgin and a stripper. She’s had a tough up-bringing and is dealing with some personal issues. You’re scared she’s gonna hurt you? I think you need to look at it from her perspective and make sure as hell you aren’t the one doing the hurting.” She was almost scolding me.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.” I felt bad for asking about Brynn behind her back. She’d been so open and honest with me, she’d probably tell me anything I wanted to know.

  “No. I’m not letting you off the hook. There’s something else.” She looked at me and crossed her arms. “What is it?”

  I sat on the couch as I pondered it. What is it? I wasn’t sure, exactly. “I’m scared,” I admitted.

  She sat beside me. “Of what?”

  “I guess of falling in love.” I shrugged.

  “No, you’re not. You’re dying to fall in love.” She took my hand and it sent heat through my body. “You’re scared of losing her. You’re scared of her being ripped from you like Gretchen was. You’re smarter than that, Sean.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I know that you have felt more for me than just friendship.” My heart pounded in my chest. I didn’t know if I wanted to have that conversation.

  “You want it so badly,” she said. “You want what you had with Gretchen, but you know that if you don’t allow yourself to fall in love with someone then you won’t have to deal with the possibility of losing them. That’s not fair to yourself or to the girl you’re spending your time with. As for me, I think you knew I was unavailable, so you allowed yourself to feel something you’ve wanted to feel for a while, knowing it was safe.” Oh my god. Is it true? She raised her eyebrows, waiting for a response.

  “It wasn’t safe,” I said as I looked into her beautiful eyes. “It still hurt when you left, even though I was happy that you were happy.” I couldn’t believe I was telling her that. “It was bittersweet, just like it was seeing you and Ethan together last night. I know it’s good for me to see, but I can’t help but to think how it might’ve turned out for us if you would’ve been available in California.” There, I said it. It needed to be addressed and I had to admit my feelings, even though she’d already suspected.

  “Yes, you can help it and you need to stop with it. You and I have something very special. A connection and a mutual adoration that’s stronger than a lot of romantic relationships have. When you truly fall in love with someone again you’ll realize it, you’ll know that what you felt for me was just a taste of the real thing. Do you think this is fair, what you’re doing to Brynn?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Please, Sean, get past being scared. You have a chance with an amazing girl. I can tell you care for her and are attracted to her. She deserves nothing less than for you to give her your undivided attention.” She was right about that, but I wasn’t so sure she was right about the way I felt for her just because I knew she was unavailable.

  “I know she does,” I said. I stood up and walked to the window. I saw Brynn sitting on the porch at our cabin. “Brynn’s ready. I should go get her,” I said.

  Gia and I made a plan to get together for the big shows later in the evening and I headed to pick up Brynn. She gave me a sweet smile when she hopped in the car and I fel
t guilty about my conversation with Gia. I was hoping to give her my undivided attention for the rest of our trip and from the way my stomach did flips when she leaned over and kissed me, I didn’t think I’d have too much of a problem doing that.

  ***

  We had brunch as soon as we got to the city and then visited some of the touristy things it had to offer. It was nice to experience something that was new to both of us. It was a whole different world from California and Brynn took it all in right before my eyes. She knew how to live in the moment and stop to smell the roses. Before we started North to The Lock, I pulled into a little parking lot to a store I’d found online.

  Brynn read the sign out loud. “The Naughty Spot,” she said, and looked at me with big eyes.

  I turned off the car and faced her. “If we’re going to do what we said we were, then we need some things. Are you sure it’s what you want?” I asked.

  “Yes.” Her eyes lit up as she nodded enthusiastically.

  We went in and I thoroughly enjoyed watching her check out all the sex toys. She was a little shy at first, but as she got turned on, she opened up. We picked out some lube, a bullet, condoms, and a few other things Brynn was interested in.

  “That made me horny as hell,” Brynn said when we got back into the car.

  “You’re not the only one,” I said. We made out in the parking lot and I considered just getting a room in the city for the night.

  “It’s going to be a long two hour drive,” Brynn said. She was reading my mind. “I want you right now.” She kissed my neck and my ear.

  I ran my hands through her hair as I breathed in her sweet scent. “We’re going to have fun tonight,” I told her. “We may not make it to any of the concerts if you plan on using everything in that bag.”

  “The last thing on my mind right now is seeing a concert,” she said as she ran her hand down my chest and discovered my erection. “Mmm. Is your heart set on seeing a concert?”

  “No. It’s set on sharing an amazing night with you, Brynn.” I kissed her neck and slid my hand down to her breast. “I’m up for whatever you have in mind for the night.”

  “My mind says we should head back, but my body has a dirty little mind of its own and it wants me to climb over this console and straddle you right here in this parking lot.”

  “I love your dirty little mind, but the sooner we get on the road, the sooner we get back to our romantic little cabin.”

  She took a deep breath and nodded so I started the car and pulled out onto the highway. I wanted her first time to be something special. I knew that the things we’d done already would make the actual act of it easier, but it would still be something she’d always remember and that meant a lot to me. I didn’t want there to be any regrets.

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked again.

  “Yes.”

  “I just want you to know I’m having a great time with you and the things we’ve done together have been very satisfying. We can keep doing what we’re doing if you’re not absolutely sure.”

  “Like I said, I’m not a virgin because I’m saving myself. I’ve only kissed two other guys besides you and only one of them resulted in a serious make-out session. We were both seventeen and at a friend’s birthday party. He went up my shirt, but that was the extent of it. I’ve never had an opportunity, and to be honest, it was never something I thought a lot about, until recently.”

  “In therapy, right?” I asked.

  “Yes. As I studied the body, I became more in tune with mine, realizing how everything worked and such. I got very interested in the section on orgasms and after I gave myself one, well, I was obsessed.” She laughed and her face turned pink. “I started reading everything I could find on sex. I’d get myself so worked up I could give myself an orgasm by crossing my legs and swinging my foot. Turns out I’m quite easily aroused if I’m open to it.”

  “I’ve noticed,” I said. “It’s an attractive quality.” I squeezed her hand. “So, are you telling me that you’d never given head, until me?” I found it hard to believe since she was amazing at it. In fact, she was so physically in tune it was hard to believe she was inexperienced at anything we’d done.

  “You were the first. I’d wanted to try that ever since I did research on it, much like all the other stuff we’ve done. I can’t really compare you to anyone else, but I can’t imagine any of it feeling any better than it has with you. I know you’ll be careful with me and I know you care about me. That’s why I want you to be the one.”

  “You’re right, I do care about you and I will be careful. I have to admit, though, after all the research you’ve done, I’m a little nervous about living up to your expectations. Sometimes the first time isn’t that great. You know that, right?” I hoped she wasn’t dreaming of mind-blowing multiple orgasms and trumpets sounding. I was suddenly a little less than eager.

  “Yes, Sean, I know that. I also know that it can be amazing your first time if you know what you’re doing.” She held up the bag from The Naughty Spot. “I think we’ve got it covered.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, I think so, too.” I felt some ease. “You know, it’s every man’s fantasy to be with a virgin.”

  “Well, it’s every woman’s fantasy to have a man like you make love to them for the first time, so I guess we are going to have an amazing night.” She smiled and reached for her phone, which had buzzed. She read the text and laughed before she typed something in and sent it back. It was the first time I’d seen her use her phone at all since I’d been with her. It buzzed again and she answered it again. Then she looked out her window quietly. I was curious who it was and what they’d said, but it wasn’t any of my business.

  “Everything okay?” I finally asked, wondering if her mood had changed.

  “Yes,” she said. Then she chuckled and added, “Maria thinks I should audition for Grease.”

  “Where? When? You should!” I was excited by that news.

  “Seriously? I don’t think so.” She said like it was preposterous. “They’re starting auditions in a month or so at the theatre on Sherman. This is a big time show, not a high school remake.”

  “Yeah, so?” I didn’t see the problem.

  “So? Just because I wanted the part in high school doesn’t mean I want the part now. Besides, I don’t have any theater experience. They’d laugh me out of there.” She shook her head and looked out the window again.

  “I don’t believe that for one second,” I said. “You move like no one I’ve ever seen, not to mention you know the movie practically word for word. How would you ever know unless you tried? You could surprise yourself.” I wanted her to go for it. I wanted her to build her confidence like she had in high school, before her parents tore it down and stomped on it. She had talent and I wanted her to see she could show it to far more people than the pervs at Sashay.

  “Thanks, but no thanks,” she said. She was done talking about it.

  ***

  We returned Gia’s car and then practically skipped over to our cabin. I was excited for what I knew would be happening there later. We decided to walk around the arena for a while and get something to eat while our hormones were still settled from the drive. We bought ourselves some souvenirs and stopped to dance a slow song while one of the early bands played. We spotted an empty little table in front of a barbeque place, so Brynn grabbed it while I got us a couple beers and some food.

  “Mmm.” She closed her eyes as she savored the ribs. I leaned over and kissed the sauce off her lips. She giggled. I loved that sound.

  My ribs were fantastic and I was pleasantly surprised to see Brynn almost finish hers. She was feeling good and that was important. We grabbed another beer and continued walking along the outer edge of the arena, looking through the shops. We came across a tattoo and piercings store and watched as a guy was getting inked.

  “Have you ever wanted a tattoo?” I asked Brynn.

  She shook her head. “I faint at the sight of my own blood, reme
mber? But, I have thought about a piercing,” she said. “A belly button ring.”

  “That’d be sexy on you,” I told her. “Do you want to get one? Right now?” I thought it’d be a really great souvenir of our trip if it was something she’d wanted.

  “Actually, yeah, I do.” She looked surprised by her spur of the moment decision.

  Before I knew it she’d picked a ring and I was holding her hand as she lay on a padded table. She looked up at me as I watched a hollow needle get poked through her perfect skin. She squeezed my hand for a couple of seconds and it was done. God, it looked sexy.

  “From the look on your face I made the right decision?”

  I raised my brow and nodded furiously which made her laugh. “I didn’t know you were so into piercings,” she said.

  “Neither did I, but I’m turned on right now.” Brynn giggled and her face turned red as the gal who’d just pierced her chuckled at my reaction.

  “You two have fun,” she said. “Don’t forget to clean and turn it every day.”

  We thanked her, and as soon as we were back in the arena I grabbed Brynn and kissed her, hard.

  “Did I mention how turned on I am?”

  “I think we’ve seen all there is to see out here tonight, don’t you?” she whispered in my ear. It sent a shiver across my shoulders and I wanted to pick her up and run back to the cabin.

  “Yes.” I took her hand and cut through the crowd like my ass was on fire. She giggled as she tried to keep up. “Excuse us, sorry about that,” I heard her say over and over as we made our way toward the gate. She was so sweet and it made me want her even more. We made it out the gate, around the corner, and past Ethan’s place before I slowed down and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around me and nuzzled into my neck as I climbed the steps and unlocked our door.

  “Hey! Where do you two think you’re going?” I turned and saw Ethan and Gia had rounded the corner we’d just come by.