Sean

by Desiree Wilder

  “No. Not really. What makes you say that?” She laughed her ass off.

  One of the other girls walked up to me and held out her hand. “Hey, Sean, I’m Maria. Thanks for coming so fast. We had to hide her from the boss after we told him she went home sick. She’d lose her job if he saw her like this.”

  “No problem. Thanks for calling me. I’ll take care of her.” I turned to Brynn. “Hey, beautiful, how about we go for a drive?” I was slightly amused by her rebellious behavior.

  She stumbled toward me. “Are you talkin’ to me?” She pointed at herself, smiling.

  I met her halfway and scooped her up into my arms. “Yes, I’m talkin’ to you.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. “They gave my part to someone’s niece. I’m tired of this shit.” She sounded really sleepy. “I’ll never be good enough, always second.” She was out.

  I put her in the seat and strapped her in. “You’re first in my book,” I whispered and kissed her on the forehead. Even when I shut the door she didn’t budge.

  “Thanks again, Sean,” Maria said. “She was fine one minute and shitfaced the next. I never saw it coming.”

  “I don’t think it takes much for her,” I said. “I’m glad she has you to keep an eye out for her. I’m sure she appreciates it and so do I.”

  “Yeah, she’s a lightweight for sure. Even good girls get pushed to their limit sometimes. She’ll be good as new tomorrow.” She walked toward the door and I headed to the car. “She’s crazy for you, ya know.” She turned and paused. “You’ve been really good for her.”

  I turned to face her. “I’m just gettin’ started,” I told her with a huge smile.

  ***

  Brynn didn’t wake up on the drive home or when I carried her in and laid her on the bed. I undressed her down to her panties and put one of my t-shirts on her before I tucked her in. I laid next to her and grinned. She was so irritating and cute at the same time.

  I woke before Brynn and got breakfast started. She joined me shortly thereafter.

  “Good morning, sunshine!” I chuckled.

  She went right for the ibuprofen and took two by sticking her mouth directly under the faucet. Then she crossed her arms and leaned her backside against the counter. “Morning,” she said. “Sorry about last night.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about,” I told her. “Sometimes we all get discouraged. I’m assuming that’s why you decided to get drunk?”

  She sighed and nodded. “I hope you’re not expecting me to eat.”

  “It’d probably make you feel better.”

  She shook her head. “I’m going back to bed for a while.” She walked back into the bedroom.

  I was disappointed, but let her be. I ate breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, and took a shower. I thought maybe we’d go to the beach, but it didn’t look promising. It was almost noon by the time Brynn appeared again.

  “Feeling better?” I asked.

  “A little. Could you give me a ride home?”

  “Of course.” I assumed she wanted to get some clothes. “I thought maybe we’d go to the beach, but we could do whatever you want.”

  “I’ve got some things I need to do at home today.” She gathered up her clothes from last night. “I’m sorry.”

  She was still in her down mood from the day before. I hated that it made her want to be alone. I took her hands and made her look at me. “If you’d let me, I could cheer you up today.”

  “I don’t need ‘cheering up.’ I need some time to think. Can you give me that?” She was tired, irritable, and wanted me to back off. I didn’t want to. I wanted her to know I’d be there for her when the going got tough.

  “Your part in the play is—”

  “Sean, this isn’t just about the play,” she interrupted. “There are a lot of things I need to think about, the play is just one of them.” My stomach knotted.

  “Us? Are you thinking about us?”

  “I need to, yes.” She let go of my hands and walked toward the door.

  “What about us?” I had to know. “I thought we were great.” I took her hands again. Her face was sad and lonely.

  “Just give me some time, please.”

  I nodded. I had to, even though I didn’t want to. I was somewhat comforted by the fact that she would look at the facts and come to an educated decision. She’d realize how great we were together and how much fun we’d had together. I hoped so, anyway. I couldn’t see any reason why she’d want to end our relationship, so I had to relax and give her what she wanted.

  “I’m really excited about the concert next weekend,” I told her as I started my car. I wanted to solidify our plans and make sure she was still into it.

  “Yeah, it should be fun,” she said.

  “It’ll be nice to spend some time with Gia and Ethan, too. I’d like to take them to the zip-line and the beach we love. How’s that sound?”

  “Sounds like a lot to fit into my schedule. You’ll have to count me out for some of it. I’ve only got Saturday night off.”

  “Okay, we’ll work it out,” I said. I was relieved she’d agreed to some of it.

  We were quiet for a while and I hated it. I wanted to know what she was thinking without pushing too hard. We hadn’t been arguing and I didn’t think I’d done anything to upset her, so I was confused. Saturday was normally a fun day together, and here I was taking her home so she could be alone. It sucked.

  “You know I’m here for you and you can talk to me about anything,” I told her.

  She nodded.

  “You normally tell me what’s on your mind, so I’m unsettled right now, not knowing what you’re feeling. Please don’t shut me out, Brynn. If there’s something going on with us that I can fix, I want to before it escalates or is too late.”

  “I’m feeling stuck,” she said. It was something, and I appreciated it, but I didn’t know what she meant exactly. “I’m feeling like there’s more and I want it. Do you ever get the feeling you’re only getting a taste of what you deserve? Like you could be completely fulfilled if only you had a little bit more? Maybe I’m just being selfish, that’s what I need to think about.” It was normal for her to feel that way after the part she’d given her all for was tossed to someone less worthy. I felt bad for her, having to relive painful rejection, but I felt easier knowing she’d realize, with my help, that she was worth having it all.

  “No, you’re not being selfish, nor should you ever settle for being partially fulfilled. You do deserve it all,” I said and kissed her hand.

  “Thanks,” she said as I pulled up in front of her building. “I’ll call you later.” She gave me a peck on the lips and I watched her until she went through the door.

  I spent the next few hours at the beach. I thought a lot about what Brynn had said in the car. I felt like I was missing something. She had pain in her eyes. She was hurting. Her parents really did a number on her. She was finally realizing what she wanted and what she deserved, though. That was a big step. It usually came toward the end of treatment and I was elated that she was getting there. I was proud of her. She’d worked hard.

  When I got home I got a text from Brynn.

  Maria and I r having dinner b4 work. Talk 2 u 2morrow.

  I guess she didn’t want me to pick her up after work, either. It took everything I had not to beg her to come over after work and sleep next to me.

  Have fun! If u want a ride home tonight let me know. :)

  She was still my girlfriend. She hadn’t broken up with me. I had to keep reminding myself. I went to the gym, had dinner, and watched movies the rest of the night. I waited for Brynn to text, but it never came. I didn’t want to sleep alone in my bed, so I slept on the couch.

  Sunday started out as a downer, but Brynn’s text at eleven perked me up.

  Beach time?

  Absolutely!

  I texted back.

  I’ll be ready in 30.

  I’ll be there in 29. />
  I answered.

  :)

  She sent me a smiley face! Who would’ve thought the stupid little smiley face could mean so much to me? I couldn’t wait to see her smiling face, nor could I wipe the one off mine.

  ***

  She opened the door immediately, before I’d even knocked, and the vanilla scent made me weak in the knees. Her smile was genuine and my heart beat faster as I stared at it. She kissed me like she missed me and I felt like a new man. She grabbed her bag, and as she walked back to me, I noticed her confidence.

  “You’re a breath of fresh air this morning,” I told her.

  “As are you,” she said. “I missed you last night.” It was music to my ears. We walked to the car hand in hand.

  “I slept on the couch,” I told her. “I couldn’t face my bed without you in it and thinking you may be mad at me.”

  She turned to me as I held the car door open for her. “I’ve never been mad at you.” She kissed me.

  We had a great day at the beach, and as we headed back to my place, we laughed and joked as we always did. I knew at that moment that I had to do whatever I could to help Brynn get ‘unstuck.’ I just had to figure out how I could do that.

  “I’m starving,” she said when we walked through the door. I knew her well enough by then to know that was a good sign. She was happy.

  “What would you like?” I opened the fridge and assessed the contents. She peeked in around me.

  “Look at you,” she said. “Making sure you always have my favorite things.” She reached in and grabbed a yogurt. “Thank you.” She kissed my cheek.

  I smiled as I pulled out the ingredients for salads and salmon. “It’s a small price to pay for my favorite person,” I told her.

  “Mmm, salmon,” she said. She hopped up on the counter and put a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth. “You’re my favorite person, too.”

  I leaned up against the counter she was on and she put her legs around me as she fed me a spoonful. I rested my hands on her thighs as we shared the rest. She helped me make dinner and we ate at the bar while we enjoyed each other. It was a perfect day.

  I dropped her off at work and then picked her up at the end of the night. We were back on our schedule and I was really happy about that. Brynn seemed happy also.

  Chapter 11

  I skipped my last class on Friday so Brynn and I could pick Gia and Ethan up at the airport. I was excited for the weekend and to spend time with my best friends. I stopped at my buddy John’s house and traded my ‘Vette for his Tahoe before I headed to pick up Brynn and get the fun started.

  When she opened the door, she took my breath away. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her skinny jeans with heels, off the shoulder blue cotton shirt, bouncy hair, and flawless makeup. I loved that she’d already done her hair and makeup for work later because that meant more time with me before. I grabbed her and buried my face in her neck, making her laugh and wriggle in my arms.

  “God, you’re sexy,” I told her.

  “So are you.” She pulled my head back and found my eyes. “You smell good enough to eat. How much time do we have? I’m hungry.” I raised my eyebrows, smiling.

  “I love when you’re hungry,” I said. “Especially when I’m the main course.” We had what Brynn referred to as a ‘quickie,’ although most people would consider a half an hour of kissing, stroking, licking, sucking, fondling and fucking more than that. She asked me to wear a condom since we didn’t have time to shower, so clean up was fast and we were on our way.

  We talked about our day as we drove to the airport. She said rehearsals were great and I could tell she was making some good friends with her fellow dancers. I was happy about that, but not so happy about the one who’d asked her out a couple of times already. She said he was harmless and that he wasn’t her type, anyway.

  “You’re not jealous, are you? I mean, I get proposed to on a nightly basis at Sashay, sometimes from very rich, good-looking guys, and you’re concerned about a sweet young dancer asking me to dinner?” She laughed.

  “I know how you feel about the guys who frequent Sashay,” I said. “They don’t even know your real name, but this sweet young dancer, as you call him, yes, he makes me a bit jealous. I’m sorry.” I didn’t like the thought of being jealous, but I had to admit that I pretty much despised the sweet young dancer I’d never met.

  “It’s okay.” She nodded. “I get jealous sometimes, too.” She looked out her window as I rolled mine down to retrieve a parking ticket. I saw a great spot right away and was able to maneuver into it.

  I took Brynn’s hand before she could get out of the vehicle. “I only have eyes for you,” I told her.

  “That’s sweet,” she said. “But it’s not your eyes I worry about.” She hopped out and I joined her. I had no idea what she meant by that but I didn’t have a chance to ask as we made our way through the crowded terminal.

  I saw Gia immediately and we met each other halfway with our usual hug and swing. She looked beautiful and her laugh was contagious. Ethan followed her and gave me a man hug instead of our usual hand shake.

  “I thought Brynn was coming,” Gia said.

  “She did.” I turned around but there was no Brynn, just a sea of people going in all different directions. Where the hell did she go? I grabbed my phone and texted her.

  Where r u?

  She texted back.

  Right where u left me.

  I told Gia and Ethan to go ahead to the luggage claim and I walked over to where I was when I’d taken off to meet Gia. There was Brynn, just like she said, right where I’d left her. I felt like a number one asshole.

  “I’m sorry,” I told her.

  “I looked away for one second and you were gone.” She looked half scared, half pissed. “Where’d you go in such a hurry? Why’d you take so long coming back to get me?”

  “I saw Gia and I just went toward her. I thought you were right behind me.”

  “Never mind.” She shook her head and waved her hand. “I should’ve guessed.” She looked up and took a deep breath. She was visibly upset. I tried to hug her but she turned her body from me. “Just lead the way,” she said.

  “I’m sorry, Brynn.” I tried to take her hand but she put them in her pockets.

  I hooked my arm through hers even though she didn’t want me to and walked toward the baggage claim. “Don’t be mad at me,” I whispered in her ear.

  “I’m not. I’m disappointed in you and mad at myself.” Fuck! I’d much rather she was mad at me than disappointed in me. Why was she mad at herself? I wish I could go back in time. We approached Gia and Ethan. Brynn took the opportunity to rid herself of my arm.

  “Brynn!” Gia gave her a big hug and kiss on the cheek which Brynn reciprocated.

  “There’s our favorite dancer,” Ethan said with open arms. Brynn fell into them and he swung her around, making her giggle. “I hear you have a new gig! Don’t forget us little people when you’re blowing their minds on Broadway every night,” he told her.

  “Ethan and I are going to come to your show!” Gia told her. “He’s right, you are our favorite dancer and we’re so proud of you!”

  Brynn had a glowing flush on her face as she stood between the two of them. Their faces were proud, much like parents would be, looking at their daughter. I realized for the first time that Brynn was actually young enough to be their daughter, and the fact that she didn’t have that kind of love and support in her life was heartbreaking. I was so thankful to them for giving that to her. She looked surprised, yet touched, to be receiving it.

  “Thanks, you guys,” Brynn told them. “That means a lot to me.”

  Ethan and I grabbed their luggage while Brynn and Gia followed us, arm in arm, to the Tahoe. I could hear them talking about Grease and I was warmed by the turn of events that cheered up my girl. I still felt like a jerk and knew that I had disappointed her, but at least she was open to others. I’d make sure I didn’t screw up again before I could show her h
ow sorry I was.

  She and Gia hopped in the back seat while Ethan and I put the luggage in. The girls talked and giggled and it was music to my ears. My two favorite people in the world were happy.

  “What are we doing tonight?” Ethan asked.

  “I’m not sure,” I said. “Brynn has to work, so it’s just the three of us.”

  “I want to go to Sashay!” Gia said. It made Brynn giggle.

  “You and Ethan are more than welcome,” Brynn said. “But no boyfriends allowed.” She smiled. I sighed. She was still upset with me.

  “You’ve never gotten to see her in action at the club?” Ethan was shocked.

  I shook my head. “No boyfriends allowed.”

  “That’s fucked up,” Gia said. “Well, I’m going to Sashay tonight. I don’t know what you two are doing,” she told Ethan and I. Ethan laughed.

  “Sorry, bud, you’re on your own tonight,” he said. “I’m with the girls.” He winked at them.

  “Maybe you could get caught up on some homework or something?” Brynn said. She was enjoying this, and I was going to let her. She deserved it.

  “I’ll be all right,” I said. “I think it’s great and if I had a choice, it’s where I’d be.” I winked at Brynn in the mirror. She looked down. My heart skipped a beat.

  We stopped at my place to have a drink and visit for a while. When we got there, Ethan and Gia went to the spare bed and bathroom to freshen up, so I took the opportunity to talk to Brynn alone. I ambushed her as she came out of my bathroom. I’d shut the bedroom door and was standing in front of it. I knew it was immature, but I was desperate.

  “Brynn, we need to talk about what happened at the airport.”

  “No, we don’t. You do,” she said.

  “Okay, I do. I’m sorry and I feel really bad. Hearing you say you were disappointed in me was brutal. I never want you to feel that way about me.”

  “Well, I’m sorry, but I do. I deserve it, though, so don’t beat yourself up. If I would’ve trusted my instincts a while back, I wouldn’t have set myself up for that.” What?