Whipped Delights [Dark Desires 1] (Siren Publishing Sensations)

by Suzy Shearer

  “Three o’clock. Greg’s going to drop you at the book signing at one then take me to the airport.”

  It was a quiet breakfast. Emma was still trying to believe what she’d been told. When they finished eating she went upstairs to pack and try to catch a few hours’ sleep. The flight in the morning was an early one. She changed into something suitable for the book signing and then went back downstairs to wait for the others.

  When they arrived the three went down to the garage and got into the hire car. Greg drove her to the book signing and assured her he would be back well before it finished. She and Nina hugged. It was hard to hold back the tears.

  “Do you want me to see if I can find out what happened? I could go to his flat.”

  Emma shook her head.

  “Why bother? It’s not going to make any difference anyway. He’s made it plain it’s over. It’s obvious he wants nothing more to do with me. Let’s face it, anyone who changes jobs to get away from someone is sending a pretty clear message.”

  “Okay, Em. I know how you feel about him. I’m just so sorry.”

  They kissed. Emma got out and entered the large bookstore that was hosting the signing. Already there were a number of people milling around with her books in their arms and the signing wasn’t due to start for another forty-five minutes. She made her way through the people who greeted her and spoke to the girl on the register. She directed Emma to the manager’s office where she could wait until the start time.

  Emma had no idea how she got through the signing. If anyone was to ask her about it she wouldn’t be able to tell them. Finally it was over and she looked around for Greg. She spotted him talking to a couple of people. He had two coffee cups in his hands and when he saw her looking, he gestured to them then walked over.

  “Thought you might need this.”

  “Thanks, I do.”

  After thanking the manager, they went out to the car and drove back to the hotel. The two had a light dinner and went back to their rooms. Greg told her they would have to leave at six to get to the airport in time for the flight.

  Looking back, Emma was sure she did the rest of the tour on autopilot. She smiled at the right places, shook countless hands, and signed thousands of autographs. She was glad most of the demonstrations didn’t involve a lot of cooking. She was worried she might burn things.

  Still, the final six weeks passed without incident.

  Never in her life was Emma happier to fly back to her home as she was after that tour. But then when she did, her house seemed empty. She looked through and realised that Simon leaving was for real.

  In the back of her mind, she thought it was some crazy joke but when she looked in the cupboards and the bathroom, all of Simon’s clothing and stuff was gone. That, more than anything, drove a knife through her heart.

  It was over.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It had been almost three months since she had seen Simon when he had said good-bye at the start of her tour. If she admitted it to herself, she was heartbroken. There was no denying she loved him with a passion she never thought possible. How she was ever going to get over him was beyond her.

  Since she’d returned to her house, she’d been tempted to drive to his house, but pride held her back. Besides, he had her new number, knew where she lived. If he’d changed his mind and wanted to, he could easily contact her.

  In just over a week it would be December, then at the end of January she was off to England. That was even more painful. She had been looking forward to going, to sharing the tour with Simon. Now she wished she hadn’t agreed to go.

  She had thrown herself into work, much to Alison’s delight. Anything to keep from thinking about Simon. She’d even gone to dinner twice with a nice man who worked with her photographer. Anything to try and get Simon from her mind, but it was a hollow date.

  She needed more.

  She needed to feel pain.

  She needed to push Simon away.

  Suddenly Emma decided she would play, that should drive the memories away. In the back of her mind, anger had been simmering since she had finally accepted that Simon had dumped her. She had been so sure that Simon was different. The attraction she had felt for him was strong and she thought he felt it, too. She had fallen in love hard and honestly believed he loved her, even if he hadn’t said it in words.

  Since they’d been apart, she had tried to face the fact that he was just the same as every other man and ignore him. She had tried to push him to the back of her mind. But the fact remained she was still in love and he’d let her down. He dumped her as if she meant nothing. She had been simmering but as each week passed without hearing from him, even though he had told Alison he didn’t want to see her, her anger rose. But now she had reached boiling point.

  She stomped through the house. She felt like throwing something She let the anger erupt. Emma decided she needed a play session to get him out of her head. But the question was who could she trust?

  There was only one person who still remained her friend once she told him the truth—Andrew. Although they broke up he still kept in contact.

  * * * *

  “Hi, Andrew, how are you?”

  “Emma? Hi, how’s things? I haven’t heard from you in years.”

  “Good, Andrew. I was hoping you’d be home tonight. I know I haven’t rang you for years, I’m sorry. Feel like a meal?”

  “With you, certainly!”

  “Okay, well come over about six and I’ll make you something.”

  “Wonderful.”

  “Just thought we could catch up.”

  “Sounds good. See you then.”

  Emma prepped the things for a simple Thai stir-fry. She wasn’t interested in food, but realised she couldn’t just blurt out what she wanted without at least giving him the impression of a date. She hadn’t spoken to him for at least a year and half. They’d occasionally had a meal together since they’d broken up seven years ago but that was it.

  At six, the doorbell rang and she opened the door.

  “Hi, Emma, you look lovely.”

  “Andrew, hello. Come in.”

  He kissed her cheek and went down the hall into the family room. She followed and they both sat.

  “How have you been, Em? Haven’t heard from you for ages.”

  “I’ve been busy. You?”

  “Good. No boyfriend?”

  “Not really.”

  “Okay. I must admit I was surprised to hear from you.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I was feeling a bit lonely. Thought I’d see if you wanted to visit.”

  “You know how I feel about you, Em. I’m always here.”

  “I know.”

  “You seem tense.”

  “Sorry, been a bit down for a few months. I was going out with someone but he dumped me. Simon…well, Simon couldn’t handle my kink I guess.”

  “Neither could I, Em. You really need to realise not many men can.”

  “I guess so. I just thought he could.”

  “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

  “Me, too. Anyway, it’s nice to see you.”

  “I always love seeing you, Emma.”

  “I know.”

  He stood and came to sit alongside her, picking up her hand.

  “I mean it, Em, I do love you still. I just can’t be who you need.”

  She looked at him. She knew how he felt about her. Emma felt guilty. She knew she was using him to try to get over the pain of Simon. He leant over and kissed her cheek.

  “Maybe we should try again.”

  “I don’t know, Andrew. I…well you know I like being tied up and whipped. I don’t think I can change.”

  “I think I understand.”

  “It’s who I am, Andrew. Without the pain, then sex is nothing to me. I can’t climax, it’s…”

  “I guess I get it. So what you’re saying is unless I can inflict the pain you want then there’s nothing, no future for us.”

  “
I’m sorry, Andrew.”

  Emma felt awful. Maybe this was a bad idea. She should send Andrew home, apologise. Andrew was looking at her thoughtfully.

  “Maybe, well maybe I could try.”

  “Try? As in fuck me and whip me?”

  He nodded.

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “I do. I need it so badly.”

  Emma decided this was it. She could either tell Andrew to forget it or she could let him try. Maybe if he did, maybe they could make something of it. She had liked him. She knew he loved her still. Maybe this was the way to get over Simon, get involved with someone else.

  He pulled her closer and kissed her. She could feel his hands travelling across her body. He kissed her ear then whispered, “Let me fuck you, then I’ll do whatever you want. Let’s try.”

  Emma closed her eyes and kissed him back, trying to pretend it was Simon but getting angry with herself for it.

  This wasn’t going to work, she had to have pain. She just couldn’t get past the fact this wasn’t Simon.

  “Andrew, please give me pain first. I need it to get excited then I’ll do whatever you want, I promise.”

  He grinned at her in delight. She slid off the couch and Andrew took her hand.

  “I can try. As long as I get to play with your luscious body, I’m a happy man. God, I love looking at your body, Emma, it makes me hard whenever thinking about it. I’ve never gotten over you.”

  “Well now you get to touch it as well as look. You can whip me as hard as you like, you know I love it, then you can fuck me silly.”

  “Gee, Em, I’m still not sure how I’ll go but I guess I’m willing to try if this will mean being with you. I was a lot younger before and didn’t really understand.”

  “All you have to do is use the crop. It…it makes me so excited, Andrew. It really does.” She tried to explain it. “It’s the pain that I love. You have to understand that without it, I can’t come.”

  “Em! Oh fuck. It’s so hard to do it, to hurt you.”

  “It’s okay. You can whip me then fuck me after.”

  He helped her stand and she kissed him. Then taking his hand, she led him into the spare room. The hooks Simon had fixed to the floor and ceiling, with ropes hanging off, were staring at him. She felt him hesitate.

  “It’s okay. Come.”

  “Are you really sure about this, Em? I mean I thought you’d just be lying on the bed and I’d smack you or something.”

  “I’m sure. There isn’t enough pain in just smacking me, Andrew.”

  Emma instructed him how to tie her. She quickly stripped off and he stood looking at her naked body and the cuffs she held out to him.

  “Please, Andrew,” she pleaded.

  He took the cuffs from her hands and began to fasten them to her wrists and ankles.

  “Now you need to tighten the ropes and fasten them over there.”

  She pointed to the eye bolts in the floor. Andrew followed her instructions and she felt her heart begin to pound with excitement as she was stretched out. Andrew stood and looked at her. She could see the hesitation on his face but then tentatively picked up the flogger and the crop, then threw them to the ground, shaking his head.

  “You can’t hurt me, Andrew. I need this. Please.”

  “Are you really sure, Em? I don’t know.”

  “Please, Andrew. Please, I beg you. Take the pain away.”

  “Pain? I thought you wanted the pain?”

  He looked at her sadly in realisation. “You still love him, don’t you?”

  She looked at Andrew. He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve her using him this way but who else could she trust.

  “Yes. But I have to let Simon go. Please, Andrew, I need you to whip him out of me.”

  “That’s what you planned all along, isn’t it?”

  “I’m sorry. Yes.”

  “So you used me.”

  “Oh, Andrew, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know who else I could trust, who I could ask.”

  “So you chose me to do it.” Emma could hear the anger in his voice. “You didn’t even tell me the truth, just gave me some bullshit story. I deserve better than that. Thanks for fucking nothing, Emma!”

  “Please, Andrew, please help me.”

  “Great! I get to fucking hurt you because some stupid guy dumped you.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Em. I’m not your whipping boy.”

  He turned away, walking to the door, and went to leave the room. Emma wondered how on earth she’d be able to undo the restraints on her wrists alone. She could feel the tears pricking behind her eyes. Never should she have done this, to use someone who she knew cared for her. It was so wrong.

  Andrew was right, he deserved the truth.

  He turned back and looked at her. His face a mask of pain and disappointment.

  “You know what? You deserve to get whipped.” Emma heard the anger and hurt in his voice. “You deserve to be as hurt as I am at this moment.”

  “I’m sorry, Andrew, please forgive me. Just untie me and I promise I’ll never contact you again.”

  “I can never forgive you, Emma. Never!”

  He came back to stand directly in front of her, his face red with rage. There was no denying he was furious with her.

  “I can’t believe you’d do this, Emma.” His anger was palpable. She could see the fury building in his whole body. “You want it? Okay, I’ll fucking do it!”

  He picked up the crop. She could see his hands shake. They shook from his anger and rage and she didn’t blame him one iota. Nevertheless, in the back of her mind she rejoiced. At least his anger would drive him to hurt her.

  “Do it!” she screamed to egg him on, anything to drive the pain of Simon from her heart. “Punish me for using you!”

  As she felt the first kiss of the crop she screamed in exaltation. “Yes!”

  * * * *

  Andrew’s fury, his resentment at the way she’d used him was driving him to take revenge on her. His own rage overtook him. She’d never do this to him again. She wanted pain, he’d give her such pain that she’d never ask another man to hit her. He was screaming his rage, spittle flying over her body.

  “I hate you! I hate your fucking weird needs! I hope you hurt, you bitch! How could you do this to me?”

  Andrew was lost inside himself. But his rage was finally spent when he saw her head loll forward. He threw the crop aside then moved over to where she hung.

  He felt drained. He looked at her hanging there, her body criss-crossed with blood. His anger was gone, inside he felt nothing.

  “Emma, I can’t do anymore.”

  There was no answer. He touched her head. Worried, he lifted her head. Her eyes had rolled back and she was unconscious.

  “Oh God! Oh No!”

  Andrew panicked. What should he do?

  He knew he should ring an ambulance but was terrified. They might ring the police and even though it was consensual, he would be arrested. He couldn’t leave her like this but what could he do?

  Carefully, he untied her from the cross. She looked terrible, she was still unconscious. He had no choice and raced to the phone. He called an ambulance and hoped this wouldn’t get him arrested. He quickly dressed. Five minutes later they arrived.

  “Help me, please!” Andrew pleaded as he took them to the room where Emma lay still unconscious on the bed.

  “What’s happened?” He heard the fury in the voice of the paramedic. “What have you done?”

  Andrew knew he looked afraid, and he was, but maybe these men could help.

  “My name’s Andrew, I’m a friend of hers.” He pointed to the ropes hanging and the crop on the floor. “We were playing. I…she made me.”

  One man pushed Andrew aside and began to examine Emma. He inserted a drip.

  “She kept asking for more. I–I told her to stop,” Andrew stammered as the man examined her. He was taking her pulse as Andrew stammered wit
h fear. “She keep pleading for more, she wanted more. She can only get off on pain.”

  The man nodded. The other went outside and got the gurney stretcher. They placed Emma on it. She was coming around but was still groggy and moaning in pain.

  “What’s your name and address?”

  Andrew showed his driver’s license and one of the men wrote down his details. Then they wheeled Emma back outside. Andrew picked up her house keys and put them in his pocket, following the men out to the ambulance and closing the front door behind himself.

  Both men looked at him with loathing. He was certain they thought he was guilty of abuse. So far they hadn’t mentioned the police but he was sure they intended to contact them.

  “You need to meet us at the hospital. They’ll need a statement from you and all the details.”

  “Okay.”

  Andrew followed the ambulance, managed to find a spot in the car parking spaces near the entrance, and raced into the A&E of Nepean and Districts General. He found where they had placed Emma and stood behind the bunch of medical staff as the paramedic told what he had done and what had happened.

  Andrew was beside himself with worry and fear. He felt ashamed when he heard the words of the ambulance men and caught the inference that it was his fault and he’d abused Emma. After they transferred her onto a bed, the staff quickly began their examination while the paramedics finished their report.

  One man, a doctor, Andrew thought, seemed highly agitated. When he had first seen Emma, he had drawn a gasp and paled. He kept looking over at Andrew. If looks could kill Andrew would be dead. The man called for a scan as the staff connected monitors to Emma. Although she was conscious now, she seemed completely out of it and unresponsive. As the paramedics left, the man in a white coat came over to Andrew.

  “My name’s Simon, I’m a friend of Emma’s.” Angrily he said, “Tell me what happened?”

  “You’re Simon? The guy who dumped her?” The man looked at Andrew and looked puzzled.

  “I don’t know what you mean, for what it’s worth, she left me.”

  “Not the way she tells it. Anyway, she was angry. Actually she was beyond angry with you for leaving her.” When Andrew said that, Simon gave a groan and shook his head. He was looking so confused.