Whipped Delights [Dark Desires 1] (Siren Publishing Sensations)

by Suzy Shearer

  Simon shook his head.

  “Go on.”

  “At first I thought I could do it, you know, thought it would show how that I was prepared to try. But once she was hung on those ropes I realised I couldn’t. I told her so and then she went on about taking away the pain of loving you. I was walking out the room when she went on and on about you and needing pain to forget you.

  “That’s when I realised she was just using me. She just wanted someone to hurt her and I happened to be the one she chose. I saw red and I hit her. At that first hit she started moaning. It sounded like she was in heaven. She kept pleading at me so I kept whipping her.”

  Andrew took a deep breath and looked at his hands. “I was angry. Hell I was furious! I resented the way she’d used me, egging me on to take revenge on her.”

  He looked over at Simon. “I was actually glad her body was a network of welts, glad that some oozed blood. But the weird thing was she kept begging me for more and more. It was as if she couldn’t feel any of the pain she had to be in.”

  Simon was looking furious as Andrew continued. He was clenching his fists, trying to hold his temper in check.

  “Anyway I finally dropped the crop to the ground, by then I was disgusted. ‘You’ve had enough. No more,’ I said to her.

  “‘No!” she actually wailed back at me. ‘I need more, please, Andrew, please. I’m so close.’”

  Andrew looked at Simon. He looked confused. “I honestly don’t know what happened. I went crazy and picked up the crop again. I lashed at her body. Once more she screamed in that weird pleasure-pain scream of hers.

  “I was fucking angry and she was getting excited! I couldn’t understand how. Then I thought I would make it so she would have enough and would never ask another man to hurt her.” Andrew started to cry.

  “I didn’t know. I kept hitting her, she kept screaming for more. Then she passed out. I freaked!”

  He looked at Simon.

  “I didn’t know what to do, I called the ambulance.”

  Simon just looked at him.

  “I think you better get out of here and out of her life.”

  “Who says?”

  “I do. Otherwise I’ll inform the police.”

  “You can’t do that!” Andrew shouted then he said slyly. “Anyway, she wanted it.”

  “I’m aware of that but she certainly didn’t want you hurting her so much that she’d end up in the hospital. I can easily report you but instead just get out of her life. You leave her alone and that’s as far as this goes.”

  Andrew was starting to get defensive.

  “She’s crazy! No one does that! No one gets people to hurt them like she does. Anyway she came after me. I just want to leave. You can look after her, she’s nuts! She’s sick! It wasn’t my fault.”

  “I know she wanted it but you couldn’t control your temper and it all went too far. You can go but remember what you did even though she asked you, she didn’t ask for this.”

  Andrew pulled out Emma’s keys and practically threw them at Simon as he raced from the room. Simon walked out of the waiting room. This whole thing was crazy. The only good thing was Andrew had told him Emma was still in love with him. Somehow they had to figure out what the hell was going on. They needed to find out what happened, why they both told different stories. One of them must be lying and Simon knew it wasn’t him.

  Nothing made sense.

  He saw the two paramedics who had brought Emma in just leaving after bringing in another case. He quickly spoke to them and explained the situation. After much discussion they agreed with Simon not to report Andrew to the police. Simon was grateful to them. They could have easily done it but Simon knew that Emma would never say anything against Andrew, knowing it was her fault that things had gotten carried away.

  Before he went back to Emma, he checked on all his patients. Hopefully the interns could handle things for a while. Just until he got this sorted out with Emma and they could get to the bottom of things. He spoke to the head nurse and told her unless it was a dire emergency not to bother him. If they called him and someone wasn’t dying he’d be furious with every single staff member. She gave him a grin as he checked the results of Emma’s scans once again.

  He walked back into the cubicle bay where she was. She looked so pale and lost lying there. Simon felt his heart turn over when he thought of what had happened. He stood beside her.

  “Hi.”

  She looked listlessly at him.

  “Ready to talk?”

  “I guess so, but I don’t understand any of this.”

  “Tell me your version exactly.”

  “The day after we’d last spoke on the phone, I had a signing. While I was there, my phone was stolen. I rang Alison and told her that you would ring when I hadn’t answered your texts. She said she’d give you the new number. I rang her a few days later when I hadn’t heard from you. She told me you had the new number. I couldn’t remember your mobile number and I knew it was senseless to ring the hospital. Even if I did and left a message I knew there was a good chance you wouldn’t get it.

  “Then after another few days when I hadn’t heard I rang her again. She just said you had the number.”

  Tears were running down her cheeks as Emma continued.

  “Then she rang me. She told me you’d changed your mind and didn’t want to see me anymore. She said you put in for a transfer a few weeks back. It had come through and you’d changed hospitals so there was no way of me contacting you.”

  She was sobbing now and Simon wanted to gather her in his arms but knew they had to get this out.

  “I was so hurt. I loved you! When I came home, I was tempted to go to your house and have it out with you. But then I thought, ‘what’s the use?’ You didn’t want to see me. All your stuff had gone, it was so final.”

  Simon was looking at her with such love on his face.

  “I collected everything after a couple of weeks. I thought…I kept thinking it was all a joke and you’d ring me. When you didn’t, I realised I had to get my things. I couldn’t face seeing you when I love you so much.”

  Simon lifted her hand to his lips. He kissed it. He pulled over a chair and sat beside the bed.

  “None of that is true.”

  “But.”

  “No buts, it’s all a lie. Look around, you’re in Nepean and Districts General. I’m still working here.”

  “What? I don’t get it. Why would Alison say all that if it wasn’t true?”

  “Em. I love you, I always have. Honestly, do you think I’m the sort of man who would get someone else to do my dirty work? If I didn’t want to be with you, I’d have told you face-to-face.”

  Emma looked as if she were trying to comprehend what he was saying but couldn’t. A glimmer of hope flashed across her face.

  “You love me?”

  “Yes. I love you madly. I’ve been telling you that for the past four hours.” He gave a laugh as he waved a hand around. “Everyone in the ward knows. Please tell me you feel the same, that this has been some crazy misunderstanding. That you’re not angry with me anymore.”

  Simon held his breath. Inside he was praying that Andrew was right and she still cared for him. To Simon it seemed as if all her anger vanished in a split second, that she understood what he was saying. Suddenly it seemed that without her anger to hold her in check, to hold back all her pain, she could do nothing else but burst into loud sobs.

  Simon immediately got to his feet, pulling her into the comfort of his arms. She turned her head into his chest and cried, finally accepting the comfort Simon had been offering for so long.

  “I’ve been a fool,” she whispered into his chest. “I told Alison when she first told me that it wasn’t true. That you wouldn’t do anything like that. But when she told me you’d transferred, I…it broke my heart.” Her sobs got louder. “I couldn’t ring you. Your numbers were silent, I’d lost my phone, you’d changed hospitals, and I was thousands of miles away.”


  He held her tight. Simon could feel his broken heart start to mend.

  “What happened, Em? What happened tonight with Andrew?”

  “It was all my fault,” she finally admitted to herself. “I was angry. I needed the pain to take it away. I thought if I hurt enough, I would be able to forget you.” She gave a rueful laugh. “It backfired.”

  “You can say that again. Emma, you know more than anyone that you can’t do these things because you’re angry. But if you had to, why on earth did you pick Andrew? Even I can see he isn’t the sort of man who could control you.”

  “I didn’t think. I honestly thought I could stop. I knew he wasn’t the controlling sort but I hoped he would know when I had too much, or maybe I could stop myself. I was so wrong about everything. I lost control completely, I egged him on. All I wanted was more and more pain to take away the hurt in my heart. I didn’t care if it killed me.” She lowered her head in shame. “Is Andrew okay? I mean, it was all my fault, not his. He’s so gentle, he’s no dominant man, but he’s a friend. I made him so very angry so he would hurt me. I did it on purpose.”

  “Emma, he should have stopped you. You know you need a man who is able to read your body and know you when you’re exceeding your limits. To know when you’re incapable of rational decisions. You know you need me.”

  Emma was crying more and more.

  “I didn’t know…I just thought I would be able to stop myself.”

  “Hush, it’s over now. You need to heal. Emma, you have to let me help you.”

  “I hurt everywhere.” She looked surprised. “I didn’t think I would hurt this much. I…oh, hell, I was wrong. I feel funny, still a bit confused.”

  “It’s okay. You’re possibly still coming down from sub-space, although more than likely you’re feeling sub-drop. Then on top of that, you’ve been hurt and are in shock.”

  Simon looked concerned as he took in Emma’s pale face and the tears that had left her eyes swollen and red. When he had first seen the wounds on her body, he’d wanted to strangle Andrew. He was also determined that he would be the only one who would satisfy her pain cravings from now on. He just had to make her see sense, make her see that they both loved one another.

  “Now tell me honestly how you feel.”

  “Okay,” she whispered softly.

  “No, this is your doctor speaking, not your friend. How do you feel?”

  She gave a little giggle then grimaced.

  “I hurt. I hurt really bad. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Even my shoulders hurt.”

  “That would be because you were hanging by your arms when you passed out.”

  Emma looked shocked and Simon felt his heart turn at the pain she must be feeling.

  “Did they top up your pain meds?”

  “I refused.”

  He grinned and shook his head.

  “I wasn’t feeling anything. Maybe I was too angry and hurt to feel the pain or maybe I was using it to block out everything else.”

  “But now?”

  “Yes, I’ll admit it. I hurt like I’ve never hurt before.”

  She smothered a yawn.

  “You need to sleep. I’ll get one of the nurses to give you something more for the pain and to help you sleep. We can talk some more later, once you’ve rested.”

  Simon stood, turned, and went to leave the room.

  “Simon.” He looked back at her. “Thank you.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  When Emma woke, the hospital was a bustling, mad place. She glanced at the clock she could see over the nurse’s station. It was almost ten in the morning. She had slept almost ten hours. She felt rested, but very stiff and so very sore. She felt alert. Last night was all still a bit fuzzy. She could remember Simon telling her he loved her and that Alison had manipulated the breakup for some reason.

  She needed to go to the bathroom, so she pressed the call button. When the nurse came, she told her.

  “Okay. Your drip is out now. You may feel a little lightheaded so just swing your legs over the side and sit up. Don’t try and stand for a minute or two,” she warned.

  Gingerly, Emma sat up for a few giddy moments until the room stopped spinning. With the nurse beside her, she stood and walked into the bathroom. Thankfully it was alongside her cubicle, as every step was filled with such pain.

  “Take your time. We need to check again that there is still no blood in your urine, so you have to pee in this.”

  The nurse set an insert into the toilet. She gave Emma a grin and said she’d wait outside.

  Last night she hadn’t been able to really look at herself but now she did. She was shocked at the sight of her body in the mirror. Criss-crossed welts covered her torso and even down her legs. She groaned as she realised what a complete idiot she’d been and how lucky she was that she had passed out before any more permanent damage had been done.

  As it was, her body was beginning to blacken with bruises where she wasn’t cut. She would bare scars for the rest of her life for her foolishness. They would always remind her of how stupid she was.

  She had some gauze patches over some places and some of the welts were still oozing. The steri-strips stood out against the bruising. Emma used the bathroom, washed her face, and unsteadily walked back out. The nurse made sure she was okay as she helped her get into bed, then she took the sample and walked off.

  A few minutes later Simon walked in. If she thought he looked tired last night, then this morning he looked like a zombie.

  “Morning, Em. How do you feel? I came in to see you last night but you were asleep.”

  “Stupid.”

  He grinned. “I actually meant physically.”

  “Stiff and sore.” Tears ran down her face. “Really sore.”

  “Emma, I have to check your wounds, make sure nothing is infected. We did put some antibiotics and painkillers in your drip last night but I want to check anyway.”

  She looked at his face. He seemed to genuinely care about her. She remembered him telling her that he loved her last night.

  “Just lie back down. Let me look.”

  Emma settled back on the pillows. She felt embarrassed as Simon lifted the sheet and began to touch her body gently.

  “You took some bad hits across your kidneys. We’ve just got to check your pee sample, make sure there’s still no blood in it.” After he finished examining each wound he looked at her. “Okay, let me rub some more cream on you. The nurses generally do this but I want to.”

  Emma didn’t answer as he began to daub the cream over the cuts and welts. Once he finished, he pulled the sheet up and lifted her until she was settled against the pillows. Emma saw her hands were still shaking a bit, and she wondered if it was from her ordeal or because Simon was so close.

  She looked over at him. His hair standing every which way. The stubble on his face was now more like a beard. He looked so very tired.

  “You need sleep, when does your shift finish? Is this your last shift?”

  “Yes, I finish at four o’clock.”

  She nodded. “When can I go home?”

  “Once the results come back, if it’s clear then I guess you can go.”

  “Oh.”

  “Emma, will you let me drive you home?”

  It was breaking her heart to see him. She loved him desperately.

  “Please, Em. Please. We need to talk,” he begged her, and she saw his eyes fill with unshed tears. “I can’t lose you again. You need to speak to Alison, find out what was going on. Em, I’ve told you how I feel, how much I love you.”

  She still couldn’t quite believe what he was saying. Last night she was too confused to make sense of it all.

  “You really do love me?”

  “Of course I do. Heavens, Emma, surely you knew.”

  “You never said.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand up even more.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll tell you every single day. Please, Emma
.”

  She smiled. “Okay.”

  “You’ll let me take you home?”

  She gave him a mock salute even though it hurt to lift her arm. The look he gave her went directly to her pussy.

  “You know if you weren’t hurt, you’d pay for that, young lady.”

  “Oh?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Most definitely.”

  He stepped away from the bed. He turned back. The smouldering look he gave her shook her to the core.

  “Behave yourself. I’ll know if you don’t.”

  Emma grinned at him as he walked out. Hugging herself, she couldn’t stop smiling. After these rotten months, and then how stupid she’d been with Andrew, it looked like things were on the improve. She snuggled back down in bed with a groan. As soon as she got back home, she was going to talk to Alison.

  She didn’t think she would sleep but the rattle of trolleys and the noise of the ER woke her and she discovered it was well after midday. There was a plate of sandwiches and a carton on juice on a tray beside her.

  A nurse came in and changed her dressings, and she gave her more painkillers. She felt so stiff as she got out of the bed and used the bathroom. Still, at least she could walk around. She wondered what would happen next.

  The most important thing was to talk to Alison, find out just exactly what she had told both her and Simon. Almost four hours later, the same nurse came back in.

  “Your results are back, no blood. So I would say that means you can go home once your discharge papers are written up.”

  “Thank you. Do you know if Doctor Harrington is around?”

  The nurse gave her a grin.

  “He’s finishing up his case notes, he’ll be in soon.”