Living at 40 (Lakeside Cottage Book 1)

by L. B. Dunbar

  “Where are the kids?” Anna asks.

  “Boys are scootering on the driveway. They have energy to burn.” Zack has six-year-old twin boys, and they can be total terrors. We all blame it on Jeanine, his wife, but Zack could step it up a bit as a parent, too. He works too much, keeping him separate from his family. Jeanine didn’t make the trip, and he didn’t bring the nanny either, so it should be interesting how Zack handles his kids by himself. Ben’s older boys were playing basketball in the yard when we arrived and agreed to watch the younger set before we entered the house.

  “Lorna found Mila outside.” My daughter, Lorna, and Ben’s Mila are close in age and the only little girls in this crew. The girls haven’t seen each other in a year, but Mila invited Lorna to follow her upstairs as soon as they saw one another, and I encouraged her to go. We have a lot of meaningful father-daughter time, but I want some adult space over these next two weeks, and Lorna could use girlfriend time as well.

  When greetings settle, Anna barks out information in her teacherly voice, telling us who is sleeping where.

  “Okay, Zack and boys in the coach house. Mason, Logan, and Lorna upstairs. Lorna can sleep in Mila’s room. Mason, your room is at the top of the stairs. Logan next to the girls.” Her own boys have a room up there as well. Ben and Anna have the master suite on the first floor, which leaves Speck.

  “Where’s your sister sleeping?” It shouldn’t be a question. It shouldn’t even be a thought, but it just pops out.

  “Oh, I’m not staying here,” Autumn admits.

  “Of course, you are,” Anna replies. “This is family time.”

  “I have a place in town, remember?” Autumn’s sarcastic tone does not deter her sister-in-law. Union Pier is a quaint touristy town only a few miles away. If I remember correctly, Autumn owns a café between here and there, which makes sense that she lives nearby.

  “You’re staying,” Anna hisses, giving Autumn a look of warning. “I can’t be left to fend for myself amongst all this testosterone.” Her eyes widen more, if that’s even possible, and it appears they’re having some unspoken girl-talk I’ll never interpret.

  “Are Amelia and Archer here?” Zack asks. The McCaryn siblings—Archer, Anna, and Amelia—own this cottage; if one can call this cliffside haven such a simple word. It’s a beautiful home with massive windows and a gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. It belongs in an architectural magazine, one of which I’ve been featured in. Their mother was best friends with Zack’s mom, and his family used to own the vacation house next door. It’s a complicated story.

  “God knows where Archer is,” Anna says of her brother, who leads a mysterious life. “Amelia had to work, but she said she’ll try to make it next weekend. I’m not counting on it, though. But this is really Ben’s holiday,” Anna adds, which sounds like a strange statement. She looks over at her husband and offers him a slow, soft smile, and damn if my heart doesn’t weep. I’m not an overly romantic guy, but Anna and Ben are just one of those couples where love emits around them like a fog of sugary steam. When they look at one another, you just know no one else exists to them. It’s the kind of look I’d hoped to inspire and receive with Chloe, only I didn’t.

  “So, what’s first?” Anna asks, looking at Ben as if he’s the captain of this trip. In many ways, Ben was our leader by default. He’s the one who brought us all together. Mason and Ben already knew one another when they met Zack and Anna. I’m the add-on as I was Mason’s roommate in college. Zack and Ben lived next door to us in the dorms until the four of us rented a place during our junior and senior years of college. To say we were close doesn’t describe how much these guys have meant to me over the years.

  We’ve experienced marriages and births, divorces and breakups. It’s been twenty-two years of incredible friendship with brothers from another. These men are family to me. We’ve been through thick and thin, and not just in our waistband. Out of all of us, Ben is the best kind of human.

  Clueless Kulis, we lovingly called him when we were younger, but he might be the smartest of the bunch. He has the beautiful wife, a strong marriage, a thriving business, and a lovely second home on Lake Michigan.

  When Ben called to invite me to the lake, he said we were the four points of a compass, and he wanted Lakeside to center us. He was calling us home to impart life lessons on us.

  Live. Love. Loss. Learn.

  It was a cycle, Ben suggested, and he was big on cycles as a landscape designer in the Midwest. He lived for the four seasons and believed we were on the cusp of autumn for ourselves. But, he warned, we had so much life still left to live, and that was his plan for these two weeks. It was a compelling argument.

  “Beers by the beach,” Ben announces, and Anna nods before turning to the fridge, snapping orders at Autumn.

  “Oh, I see how it is. You want me here for free labor,” Autumn says, chuckling, and that sound goes right to my dick. My hands return to my jean pockets and curl into fists. What is this reaction? I’m not hard up on the woman front, but it’s been a while since I’ve found someone who interests me for more than a date or two. In fact, the dating scene is getting old. I work long hours, and as I share custody of Lorna, life is one big balancing act without a lot of wiggle room. When I pulled into the drive and turned off my phone, it hit me how much I needed this vacation.

  Something is telling me I also need to learn a little more about Autumn Kulis.

  “Speedos optional,” Mason announces, and Zack groans.

  “You put on a banana hammock, and we will disown you,” I say.

  “No one can ever own me anyway,” Mason sing-songs, and Ben chuckles.

  “True that,” Ben says.

  “True that?” I snark. “Are we speaking as we did in college?”

  “Please don’t speak as you did back then. We have young ears around here,” Anna says while working to pull beers from the fridge and filling plastic bags with ice. A cooler appeared from somewhere, and the two women are working in sync as though they organize for a day at the beach on a daily basis.

  “No swearing, no sex talk. That’s pretty much my entire vocabulary,” Mason teases, and Autumn laughs. While that sound is still doing strange things to me, I don’t want Mason to affect her. I love Mason, but he’s a dick to women.

  “Will Autumn’s boyfriend be joining us?” Not the smoothest of transitions to find out whether she has one or not. Last I heard, she was living with someone but never married.

  “I’m single as a Pringle,” she announces, and Mason smiles. His eyes focus on her. Oh no. Fuck that.

  “Mason, how’s Samantha?” I ask.

  “Who?” he answers, still watching Autumn work alongside Anna. His eyes scan her ass as she bends forward to put something in the cooler.

  “Your girlfriend.”

  Mason gasps and brings his attention to me. “Girlfriend? Dude, I do not do those.”

  “But you did,” I mutter, recalling Mason got a woman pregnant. They tried to do the co-parenting thing, but it didn’t work out, and he rarely sees his kid.

  “Up top,” Autumn says, standing upright again and holds her hand up palm outward for a high-five from Mason. Images of her as a geeky teen rush back to me. I don’t recall her being so curvy and lush.

  Mason doesn’t respond at first, torturing her with his negligence by holding off just long enough for it to be awkward that her hand hangs in the air. Then he reaches over to smack her palm, only he doesn’t smack it. He clasps his fingers around hers and gives her hand an awkward shake before lifting it to kiss her palm.

  What the fuck?

  The six shades of pink Autumn turn are a beautiful color with her oak-brown hair and coffee-colored eyes. Her choppy-looking cut accentuates the loose curls flowing around that blush-filled face. She’s thinner than I remember and minus some seriously chunky glasses. Somehow, she got the nickname Speck from Mason. I had trouble remembering her name when we first met, but I was also twentysomething and mostly drunk. Her name should h
ave been easy enough to recall. Autumn. A season of change. A new beginning. It’s unusual and pretty and appropriate, considering Ben’s dad was a landscaping man like Ben. She’s no speck now other than a spectacle of beauty.

  Fuck. Get your head together, man, and your dick. She’s Ben’s sister.

  Mason releases Autumn’s hand, and Anna gives Autumn a not-so-inconspicuous look, side-eying Mason, like they’re once again having some secret conversation. Only Autumn shakes her head and chuckles.

  “No,” she mouths, and I very much want to know what that rejecting word means and how I can turn it into a yes toward me. A yes, and a please, more, and those lips sucking . . .

  “Logan?”

  “Huh?” I shake my head to clear my thoughts.

  “Are you going to change? It’s suits and flip-flops attire here,” Anna says as my eyes drift back to Autumn. Is she putting on a swimsuit? Further inspection of her shows the ties of a bathing suit around her neck and thin straps peeking out of her deep V-cut shirt. If she’s wearing a bikini, thank you, Jesus. Then I notice Mason still watching Autumn, and I wonder if Ben’s baby sister owns a muumuu as my mother used to call her cover-ups. No skin for Mason.

  “You boys change. I’ll get Calvin and Bryce and have them bring stuff down to the beach for you.” As Anna speaks, Ben steps over to her.

  “You don’t have to do it all,” he says, cupping her elbow and pulling her upright from her position bent over a second cooler.

  “I want to do this,” she says, her eyes avoiding his until his fingers tip up her chin, and she looks him directly in the face.

  “Thank you.” His words are quiet and tender, and I’m suddenly uncomfortable, feeling like I’m witnessing something I shouldn’t see between a couple. I’m not the only one uneasy as I turn my head and notice Zack spellbound by our friends before glancing down at his feet.

  “I’m going to get my bags,” he mumbles, hitching a thumb over his shoulder before turning on his heels without a second glance back.

  “I’m with you,” I mutter but take another look at Mason standing close to Autumn. He’s watching Ben and Anna while Autumn’s watching him, and the salad I ate an hour ago isn’t settling well in my belly. Once upon a time, I would have shared everything with my former roommate, and there was that one night with a redhead, but that would never happen again and certainly not with Autumn Kulis.

  She’s a woman you don’t share. You keep her away from men like Mason and make her yours.

  And where the hell did that come from?

  3

  [Autumn]

  “I love you,” Ben whispers to his wife, and my heart falls to my feet. Tears I’m not allowed to shed fill my eyes, and I quickly blink in hopes they don’t escape with Mason so close. He’s watching them as well, and when Anna responds with her own, “I love you,” Mason glances away.

  “I need a beer,” he mutters.

  “Not until the beach, pretty boy,” I tease. “Grab a cooler.”

  “I need my suit.”

  “I thought you said Speedos were optional.”

  Mason chuckles, breaking free of his stupor over Anna and Ben’s tender moment. He has no idea how important or valuable such words are to a person. Mason’s never been in love. He’s been too busy avoiding it his entire life.

  “Give me five minutes.” Spinning around, he quickly exits the kitchen for the front hall, and we hear his feet thunder up the stairs like he’s one of Ben’s boys. Awkwardly, I stand by the island, contemplating whether to give Anna and Ben space or stay in place. I’m afraid to walk away. Since our father’s death years ago from a heart attack, Ben has been the father figure I should have had as I aged. He’s my brother, parent, and friend, which is a lot on the shoulders of a sibling. Under the surface, I fear for the day I’ll lose him, too.

  “Coolers,” I say, interrupting their intimate moment. With Ben’s hand still cupping Anna’s cheek, she snaps to attention first.

  “Coolers,” she says. “Okay. Beer. Snacks. What else?”

  “Towels.”

  A small shed down by the water holds chairs and umbrellas plus water toys and other beach necessities. Still, it’s a production to hike down the one hundred and fifty steps to the beach below.

  “I just need a minute,” Ben says, swiping his hand down Anna’s back before kissing her cheek.

  “How’s he doing?” I ask as soon as my brother disappears.

  “I promised him I wouldn’t talk about it.” The harshness in her voice startles me, and I blink once at the strong tone.

  “Not even to me?” I question.

  “No one. No talk of anything for the next two weeks.”

  I nod to agree. His reasons are understandable, even if I don’t like them. These weeks are for him to hang with his friends and pretend he’s twenty-one again, even if he turned forty this year.

  “What’s the story with Mason?” His palm kiss surprised me. If I didn’t know better, I’d consider it intimate. However, this was Mason Becker I was questioning, and I half expected him to lick my palm just to be disgusting. He’s also forty, and I’d like to hope that gives him a bit of maturity. Nah, I decide.

  “He had that girlfriend a few years ago, and we all thought he’d finally found the one. When he got her pregnant, they moved in together, but we just knew it wasn’t going to work out. Lynlee is four, and she’s adorable, but it’s a sad situation. Her mother tries to keep her from Mason, pulling punches at him by withholding his own daughter.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” I hadn’t known he’d had such an issue with his former girlfriend. I’d met her at my dad’s funeral, but I wasn’t in a frame of mind to evaluate her then.

  “Some men just seem destined to be alone,” she mutters, and I wonder if she thinks the same thing of me. Will I always be alone?

  + + +

  My nephews, Calvin and Bryce, are miniatures of their parents. Calvin has dark hair like Anna and eyes just as deep, while Bryce is a mini-Ben with blue eyes and blond hair. At sixteen and fourteen, they’re both on the cusp of manhood. They’ll break hearts and have their hearts broken as they are both lovers in their own right. Mila, my niece, is the wild one, and she’s my spirit child from another. If I were to have a girl, I’d want her to be just like the dark-haired beauty with eyes that match her father. She’s a combination of Anna and Ben, and has heartbreaker written all over her, even at ten.

  “Aunt Autumn,” she calls out once I hit the beach with a giant bag of beach towels. “Come swimming.” She’s waving at me to follow her before I even set down my things.

  “Give Aunt Autumn a minute.” Anna chuckles as Mila turns and runs to the water. “Are you sure you want one of those things?”

  “One of what things?” I question.

  “A child.” She laughs again.

  “You’re having a baby?” The masculine voice behind me chokes. I turn to find Logan dropping the cooler in his hands as if it slipped from his fingers. The heavy object narrowly misses his feet, but he doesn’t move. He just stares at me.

  “No. Yes. No.” My brows pinch as I glare at Anna.

  “I thought you weren’t dating anyone,” he adds. His expression shows he’s slowly recovering from the shock of what he overheard although I don’t see why it would matter to him. Baby. Boyfriend. It’s none of his business.

  “I’m not. It’s just . . . nothing.” I wave a hand and bend for the bag of towels, hastily pulling one out to spread over a beach chair. I could throat punch Anna.

  “My sister is considering having a child,” Ben states, clapping Logan on the shoulder as he passes him.

  “Way to blurt out something private,” I snap at my brother, who only smiles at me.

  “Just helping you along,” Ben teases. I don’t even know what that means.

  “It’s not like he announced you were on your period.” Logan gulps after speaking and visibly shudders as if the thought repulses him.

  “You always were so funny,�
� I mock, giving him a death-beam glare like we’re still children. Here’s the thing about Logan—he was the funny guy in the room once upon a time, but I saw it for what it really was. He protected himself with humor because there’s a fine line between being the sweet guy and the sexy one. The sexy one typically won, and Logan wasn’t him among his friends. His sass sobered a bit as he grew older.

  “Life of the party. That’s me,” he retorts, slapping his chest.

  “I can loan you mine,” Zack suggests, coming forward with the second cooler and placing it in the sand beside a beach chair. “They’ll change your mind.” On that note, Zack’s two boys let out a whoop and a scream, chasing Lorna and Mila in the shallow waves. The wind whips around us, forcing white caps to form on the rolling water. It’s a child’s delight to have such crests to jump or dodge. Squeals of excitement come from all four of them, and it sounds amazing.

  “It’s just something I’ve been thinking about,” I mutter, weakly defending myself.

  “What have you been thinking about?” Mason questions, pulling up the rear with a bag of snacks.

  “Autumn wants a baby,” Logan announces, bringing us full circle.

  “Really?” Mason’s perfect man brows hitch. “I volunteer as tribute.”

  “What?” I say, my mouth falling open.

  “What the fuck?” Logan hisses beside him, turning to glare at his old roommate.

  “Not what I had in mind,” my brother mumbles, taking a seat.

  I turn to Anna, looking for backup in this train wreck she started. Her silence worries me, and she gives me one of her famous glares, hinting I should accept Mason’s offer.

  “No,” I mouth to her again.

  “No to what?” Logan demands, and I turn on him next, wondering how he saw me move my lips in the direction of my sister-in-law.

  “I didn’t say anything.” With false innocence, Anna holds up her hands as she responds to Logan.

  “It’s nothing,” I remark, but not even a heartbeat passes before Anna does speak.

  “I think Autumn should make a list of three men, sleep with each of them, and let nature do its thing.”