by Abby Ayles
She felt her heart race with excitement and fear at once.
Chapter 6
Antoinette did not even know how to begin navigating this crowd, but she would be damned if she was about to let inexperience stop her from socializing. She was determined to find Duke Godwin, or anyone else she might know, and enjoy this ball.
But navigating the crowd was much more difficult than she had thought. Not only had everyone formed small stagnant groups to converse in, but dress trains and walking sticks were everywhere, sticking out at angles, ready to trip her up. It would not be easy moving, let alone finding someone.
Antoinette weaved in and out of the crowd, looking back and forth among the faces, hoping to see someone familiar. Despite how many faces she saw, precious few were anywhere near her age. It was starting to feel as though she would spend the whole party looking for Duke Godwin, when she forgot where she was going and bumped straight into a man.
“Oh, please forgive me, I was just looking for—Duke Haskett?” she said with a gasp.
He bowed slightly, not exactly smiling, but obviously not unhappy to see her. She curtsied and then looked around herself.
“Where is Mary?” she eventually asked.
“I wish I knew,” replied Duke Haskett, shaking his head. “She said she was looking for someone, but I have not seen her in the past ten minutes. I do think dear Alex has overdone it a touch this time...”
“Dear Alex?” Antoinette asked.
“Why yes, my cousin,” Duke Haskett explained.
“Your cousin?” Antoinette asked again, no less confused.
“Did you not know? Duke Godwin's brother married my cousin last year, technically making us cousins. I assumed that you would have been told, given the amount of time he is spending with you,” Duke Haskett explained.
“Well, much of that time is spent not being trampled by horses, so there is not so much time for conversations of that nature,” Antoinette replied.
Duke Haskett raised a perplexed eyebrow and then shook his head with a faint smile. “I was wondering who taught Mary to be so cheeky,” he said quietly.
Antoinette blushed. “I simply assisted her in finding her voice,” she replied.
“I can see. And now I understand why your parents are having a hard time finding you suitors,” he carried on. “No offense intended.”
“Well, I am offended,” Antoinette replied. “Why would you say such a thing?”
“Because they are. And because it makes sense,” Duke Haskett said. “I, like most men, do not mind a little fire, a little spirit in women. But you are just brimming with it. It must not be easy to be true to your nature when faced with such a dilemma.”
“There is no dilemma,” Antoinette replied with a slight huff. “Any man who does not accept my personality is not suited to me anyway. I would rather die a spinster than end up unhappy. And, for that matter, I do have suitors, such as your friend, no, cousin, Duke Godwin.”
“I am aware of that. And it perplexes me a little. He usually is not so fond of... vocal women,” Duke Haskett said.
“I am perplexed that Mary married you,” Antoinette muttered to herself. Where was the charming gentleman her cousin had married? This man was rude and blunt and said basically every single thing which entered his mind. “Perhaps,” she said, loud enough this time for Duke Haskett to hear, “he likes me for myself, however much I may speak.”
Duke Haskett nodded. “Perhaps so. I will have to ask him.”
Antoinette was about to reply again, when she heard her cousin call to them both. Turning to look, she saw Mary approaching through the crowd. “I was looking everywhere for you,” Mary said once they were reunited. “I knew you were coming, but I did not manage to see you. Whatever was Duke Godwin thinking, inviting such a crowd? I suppose it cannot be helped.”
“Fortunately, it seems a few people are leaving, and yet another room is being opened up to the guests, so we may have enough space to dance shortly,” Duke Haskett said.
Mary nodded. “That sounds wonderful.”
Duke Haskett bent down over her and she kissed her husband softly. “I shall leave you ladies to converse. Should you need me, I shall be in the billiards room.”
Mary smiled and nodded again. “I shall see you there shortly. Come, Antoinette. Let's find your Duke.” As Duke Haskett left, the young women locked arms and began walking through the crowd, attempting to find Duke Godwin.
“I must say Duke Haskett is rather more... blunt than I had assumed,” Antoinette said.
Mary nodded. “I know, he really does say whatever he is thinking. I find it amazing that a man who is usually so open and direct managed to keep a secret from me at all.”
“Does it not bother you?” Antoinette asked.
“Why should it? When he tells me something sweet I know it is from the heart, when he tells me something unsavoury at least I know it is true,” Mary shrugged. “I appreciate that in a man.”
Antoinette nodded. “I suppose you would... I do not like that aspect of him one bit, though. Do you know what he said? That he could not understand Duke Godwin's interest in me, because I talk so much.”
Mary laughed. “Did he really? Well, I must admit it is a little peculiar. Duke Godwin is usually a very... traditional man when it comes to women. I should know, we have been very much in his company these last few weeks. And he often says women ought to be seen and not heard, that a woman's place is in the home... that sort of thing. Nothing too serious, but still, it is odd that he is choosing such a... lively young woman to court.”
Antoinette gazed out into the crowd briefly. Coming from Duke Haskett those assertions sounded like a mere attempt to anger her. But from her own cousin, they carried a little more weight. “Is it really true? I wonder why he is so interested in me, then?” Antoinette mused. “Perhaps he is not as rigid about those beliefs as he claims to be?”
Mary nodded. “That is very possible.”
“I, for one, would not agree to be courted by the exact opposite sort of a man I wish to date,” Antoinette continued.
“What sort of a man is that then?” Mary asked.
Antoinette paused. “Handsome, powerful, charming, strong, witty, and wealth never hurts.”
“Well, at least it makes perfect sense that you are interested in him,” Mary laughed a little.
Antoinette laughed too. “Yes, he is very much all those things, is he not?”
As they talked the crowd spread out a little, obviously moving as the new room was opened. After a few minutes the party had thinned enough that it felt like an ordinary ball, albeit an incredibly vast, busy one. But at least they could see where they were going and move freely.
“That is so much better,” Mary said quietly.
“I suppose this is not really your idea of a great night,” Antoinette replied.
Mary shook her head. “I would prefer to stay home and enjoy some music, and so would Christopher, but we felt it would be important to support a cause so close to Duke Godwin's heart.”
Antoinette nodded. “I understand. As soon as ever we find Duke Godwin, you are free to find somewhere nice and peaceful to relax for the remainder of the party.”
Mary looked up a little and smiled. “Speak of the devil,” she said.
Antoinette's eyes were drawn to follow Mary's gaze. There, in the midst of the crowd, was Duke Godwin. He looked as stunning as ever, impeccably dressed in an eye-catching mix of a gold-embroidered waistcoat, deep grey trousers, and black hunting boots, in stark contrast to the average man in the room, who would wear everything in light grey and white. He did not stay still, either.
Duke Godwin moved gracefully through the crowd, not with any sense of purpose, but more like a butterfly, meandering in and out of social circles, briefly pausing at one group or another, before resuming his endless journey.
Antoinette was very much excited to see him. She walked up to where he was greeting an older couple and waited until he had finished welcomi
ng them before she attracted his attention.
“Antoinette! You made it!” Duke Godwin exclaimed with a broad grin. “I am so pleased. How is your mother? Is she faring any better?”
Antoinette nodded. “Much better, thank you. She is still getting plenty of rest, but she should be right as rain by the end of the week.”
“That is perfect. I trust the party is to your liking?”
Antoinette nodded. “It is incredible.”
Duke Godwin nodded and looked around. “Yes, I did feel you would be the type of girl to appreciate a crowd.”
Antoinette paused. “Whatever do you mean with that?” she asked with a bit of a nervous laugh.
“Just that. You seem the sort of girl who wants to spend time at parties,” he said with a shrug, as though it were not meant to mean anything at all.
Antoinette wanted to ask him whether this was a good or a bad thing, and what he thought of her. But before she could get the chance he looked over her shoulder and nodded and smiled at his next guest. “Terribly sorry, my dear, but I must go and greet my remaining guests. Please, dance, sing, enjoy some hors d'oeuvres, meet a few people. Have a wonderful time, quite simply. I shall be with you soon, and then we can talk and dance.”
And with that, he left once again, greeting his next guests, nodding and smiling and laughing with them.
Antoinette felt a little insignificant all of a sudden. There she was, a stranger at this vast party. All she had wanted was to spend some time with Duke Godwin so that he could introduce her to some new people. After all, knowing even one more person could help her make further connections. And now he had left her stranded once again.
After quickly contemplating her options, she realized that her only main chances of meeting someone were to retire to the drawing room, where she would largely be in the company of other ladies, or to head to the main ballroom and dance with a few new men. Neither seemed ideal to her. She was not sure that her cousin or Duke Godwin, the only people she knew at the party, would look for her in the drawing room. But she also knew that it would be somewhat rude to dance with strange men at a ball which her suitor invited her to.
And then, as though delivered from Heaven to save her from social exclusion, she saw him. She would recognize that blond head anywhere. Not to mention his clothes that had slightly less of a new sheen to them than those of the people around him. It was Mr. Perry.
Antoinette smiled, waved a little, and, once sure she had captured his attention, made her way over to where he was.
Unlike Duke Godwin, who was a little reserved most of the time but who could apparently pull off a more powerful social personal when necessary, Mr. Perry was just as shy and nervous here as he was everywhere else. Antoinette curtsied and he bowed.
“How wonderful to see a familiar face,” said Mr. Perry. “I was beginning to feel quite lost, and contemplating going home.”
“Is this sort of a ball not to your tastes, then?” Antoinette asked.
Mr. Perry shook his head. “It is not that at all. I love balls and parties. But it is terribly difficult to feel at home when one does not know a soul in attendance.”
“Who invited you?” Antoinette continued.
“Duke Godwin sent me a letter. At first I was not thinking of coming, but then a friend said he would be here, and so I changed my mind and made an effort,” Mr. Perry explained. “I had been regretting that decision, given said friend has left me here to find himself some wine. But now I no longer regret being here.” Their eyes met and Mr. Perry smiled softly. “Anyhow, what brings you here?”
Antoinette blushed a little. “I was invited by Duke Godwin also. He is another of my suitors.”
“My... no wonder I felt I did not have a fair chance,” Mr. Perry laughed a little nervously. “It must be fantastic, to be so close to the person who arranged the ball.”
“I thought so too,” Antoinette replied. “Yet he does not show any bias towards anyone.”
“Well then, I suppose we ought to make the most of the fact we both now have someone to spend the evening with?” he said. “Perhaps we could dance? It is a ball, after all.”
Antoinette felt a surge of excitement. “Oh, that would be wonderful.”
Mr. Perry offered her his arm, which she gladly held, and guided her to the ballroom where the guests were all enjoying a fast waltz. Mr. Perry bowed, she curtsied and, hand in hand, they joined the other dancers.
Antoinette was overjoyed to be joining in on the activities finally. Of course, she had planned to be dancing with Duke Godwin, and sharing some delicate, intimate, romantic moments with him also, preferably away from gossip-prone ears.
But this was a charming afternoon in its own right now. Mr. Perry was a fantastic dancer for someone so reserved, and he really seemed to relax and become more lively the longer they danced. As for Antoinette herself, it was somewhat liberating to her, to be socializing with someone who seemed to expect literally nothing from her. He did not mind if she laughed too loud or spoke too much or said something out of turn. He was just enjoying her company.
After three or four dances they stopped to go and find some wine and hors d'oeuvres, to regain a little strength before resuming. However as they left the ballroom, Antoinette holding onto Mr. Perry's arm, both laughing a little with exhilaration, they almost walked right into Duke Godwin.
Antoinette smiled and curtsied, letting go of Mr. Perry's arm. Mr. Perry in turn bowed. As she stood up straight, Antoinette could not help but feel Duke Godwin's gaze suddenly change, and become a little harsher than she was used to.
“How nice to see you both,” Duke Godwin remarked in the tone of voice of someone who did not, in fact, think it nice. “I did not know you knew each other. Let alone that you were so... close.”
Chapter 7
Antoinette shook her head. “Oh, we're not particularly close. It's only that he is the only other person I know here.”
“I invited your cousin too,” Duke Godwin said, his face a little tense.
“I could not find her, and when I ran into Mr. Perry I...” Antoinette trailed off. She then shook her head again and smiled. “If you would prefer, we could have the next dance together?” She could feel a wave of anxiety wash over her. Mr. Perry may be fun, and a great dancer, and one of her suitors. But he was not a serious prospect. She knew she would never be able to marry him. And, hurt Mr. Perry though it may, she could not afford to give him priority over a Duke.
Duke Godwin smiled a wide smile. “I would enjoy that very much,” he said, offering her his hand.
But just as they were about to depart, a tall, grizzly-haired, bearded man in a Colonel's uniform appeared, resting his heavy hand on Duke Godwin's shoulder. “Alex! My friend, how has life been treating you? What a splendid party.”
A slight look of panic, then frustration took over Duke Godwin's face. He breathed deeply before smiling as he turned to face the Colonel. “Hugh, so glad you could make it. I was just going to—”
“Surely you can spare the time to catch up with an old friend?” the Colonel insisted, sweeping the host away into the crowd.
“It seems you preferred suitor is a touch busy,” Mr. Perry said.
“Oh, Mr. Perry, I am so sorry. I did not mean to insult you, only—”
“Rank is important, I know,” he replied with a slight sigh. Nevertheless, he smiled gently. “I suppose you are still free to dance some more? After refreshments, of course.”
Antoinette stared wide-eyed. “You... still wish to spend the evening with me? After I almost dismissed you for Duke Godwin?”
“Oh, I would dismiss you for a Duke any time as well,” he smiled.
Antoinette laughed a little. “I suppose it is the done thing. It's just that I... There was no way out of that situation without offending somebody. And in the big picture I suppose offending a Duke and the host of the ball would have cost me dearly.”
“I am not offended,” Mr. Perry replied. “I am used to it. Come, let us hav
e something to drink before we return to the dance.” He sounded completely genuine.
Antoinette felt deeply relieved that Mr. Perry was not offended by her rudeness. After all, she was right. Had she continued dancing with Mr. Perry at Duke Godwin's party, when Duke Godwin was available, the Duke would have been rightly insulted. So she had to be rude to someone, in that situation. And he understood, and he forgave her.
The guilt was weighing heavily on Antoinette's chest. She knew that Mr. Perry was a quiet, even-tempered, good-hearted man. And she knew that she had hurt him when she outright ignored him in favour of Duke Godwin. She wanted to make it up to him. But the only way she had of doing so was to dance with him and have a pleasant evening together.
As they sipped on some wine and had a few bites to eat, Mr. Perry seemed to be in a better mood. “I am glad you are here, you know,” he said. “I believe I am the lowest ranking person in the room, by title, and by wealth. Were it not for your company I am sure every other guest would assume I was a member of staff.”
Antoinette giggled. “Do not be so dramatic. I am sure that you have many qualities which align you with the people gathered here.”
Mr. Perry shook his head. “You know, growing up my family was incredibly wealthy. I have seen their world. But my father... He was not very smart with his money. He wasted a lot of it on various business ventures abroad. Then, one day, he just... disappeared. Just like that.”
“Heavens!” Antoinette gasped. “I don't suppose you know what happened to him?”
Mr. Perry shook his head. “We tried to find him to no avail. A few years later my mother was declared a widow. My three sisters all married, after all, they were still young and pretty, and the lack of a dowry did not matter too much. As for me? Well, I am a man who inherited a failing trading business. So yes, I know what their lives are like, and no, I am not in any way the equal of any person here. I long to return to that place, but who can tell if I ever shall?”
