Honor

by Jaxon, Andi

  “Have you told her yet?”

  “Would she be here if I had?” I push back from the table before throwing my napkin on my plate.

  “You can’t keep putting this off, Logan. You need to tell her before she finds out by accident. That will be much worse.”

  Before I’m able to respond, the girls return to the table. Avery plops down on Charlie’s lap leaning in for a passionate kiss. Breaking the kiss, they’re both breathing heavy, I almost feel like I’m peaking in on a private moment.

  While looking directly at Amber, Charlie asks,

  “How much trouble do you think I’ll get in for not showing up at training?”

  “A shit ton,” I respond without a second thought.

  “Sparkle Pie, seriously, if you don’t stop looking at me like that, you won’t be going anywhere but back to our apartment,” Amber says before pushing back from the table and heading for the door.

  “What did I do?” Charlie says to Avery with a puzzling look.

  “We hate goodbyes, and you just made this one a hell of a lot harder, Love Muffin. She’ll be fine, just keep your promise, and all will be well.” She gives him a kiss on the cheek and looks in my direction.

  “You get a pass, for now, but I have my eye on you, Cowboy.”

  She gives me a hard look before she follows Amber out the door. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding as I feel Katie grip tightly to my arm. We both know what’s coming next, neither ready for it. I keep telling myself that it’s just a couple of weeks, I just wish my heart would listen.

  KATIE

  I stare at my friends while gripping Logan’s arm for dear life. I can feel myself begin to panic. I haven’t felt like this since Ryan left on his last mission, but he was my husband. Logan, well, I do not know what to call him, but we had a few days together. After that short amount of time, I shouldn’t feel this way. Besides, it’s only training, what could possibly go wrong?

  Maybe if I keep telling myself that I will believe it.

  Logan looks down at me with the same panic in his eyes before placing a light kiss on my forehead.

  “Walk me out?” he asks.

  Can he be any more perfect?

  Logan holds the door open for me so I can exit. As soon as I’m outside, he reaches down and grabs my hand. I can feel my chest tighten as we get closer to our separation.

  Breathe, Katie. Everything will be alright.

  I see Avery and Amber sitting on top of Avery’s Sebring convertible. It’s going to be a nice day, so I’m not surprised she wants to be able to put the top down.

  “I’m going to give you two some privacy, maybe I can convince the ladies for a quickie in the jeep,” Charlie says before running off toward them.

  I lean my head onto Logan’s chest and breathe in his scent. I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tightly into his chest. I can feel him bury his face in my hair. Hopefully, this is as hard for him as it is for me.

  I’m horrible, but I can’t let him go! I can’t deal with losing someone again.

  I’m sure he can tell that something is going on with me because he suddenly releases his grip on my body and cradles my face in his hands.

  “I’ll be back, Dollface. I will always come back to you. Do you understand?” Logan gently kisses my lips.

  I nod my head in response. I fear if I open my mouth, the sob I am trying desperately to hold back, will slip out. Tears begin to slip down my cheeks, he uses the pad of his thumbs to wipe them away. I can’t pull myself together, my chest just keeps getting tighter, making it harder to breathe. I notice Logan look over my shoulder and nod at something, but I cannot focus on anything except the feel of his hand on my cheeks.

  “Dollface, I have to go now,” Logan whispers as he pulls me into his chest.

  I nod my head, I can’t help but grip the back of his shirt tightly in my hands. I know he is going to be fine, but I can’t seem to get my emotions together.

  “Please, come back,” I sob into his shirt.

  “I will always come back to you,” he says as he gently slips from my arms.

  I watch him walk toward Charlie’s Jeep.

  Be strong. Send him off with a smile.

  The only thing I can think of is the last time I watched Ryan leave. I treated it like it was nothing. Just a peck on the cheek and a wave on his way out the door. I didn’t tell him I loved him or anything, I know he knew, but still.

  I won’t let that happen again!

  “Logan!” I scream before I take off running toward him.

  He spins around just in time to catch me as I jump into his arms.

  “I’ll miss you,” I say before crashing my lips to his.

  “Anyone want me to glaze their donut?” Charlie yells.

  I reluctantly break from Logan’s lips and begin to laugh.

  “Really asshat? You can’t keep it in your pants long enough for me to say bye to my girl?” Logan says with a chuckle.

  Wait, his girl? Am I his girl now?

  “Coochie Bear, we damn near rubbed you raw riding that skin flute. Catch us when you get home. Oh, and by the way, check your phone.” Amber yells back with a wink.

  Coochie Bear…what the hell is a Coochie Bear?

  “Your girl? When were you going to discuss this with me,” I say shyly.

  “Umm well, I thought…” seeing him blush with embarrassment is a sight to be seen, and it makes me laugh.

  “I would love to be your girl,” I say with a smile.

  Logan sighs before placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

  “I really have to go, Dollface,”

  “I know, write me,” I whisper.

  “Every day.”

  “Skype?” I ask as he kisses me on the forehead.

  “As often as I can, but we are going to a remote area, so I’m not sure how much internet access we’ll have.”

  “Kiss me,” I demand.

  “Of course,” he says, placing a searing kiss on my lips before releasing me and placing my feet back on the ground.

  “See you soon,” he places one final kiss on my forehead before climbing into Charlie’s jeep.

  He will come home. Home to me.

  I can feel my chest begin to tighten again as Charlie pulls away from the curb.

  I can’t do this. I can’t.

  I feel two sets of arms wrap around me. I don’t have to look to know that Amber and Avery are once again here to rescue me.

  “It’s going to be okay. Just a little longer and you can break down,” Amber whispers in my ear.

  “Kit Kat, we got you,” Avery says as she supports all my weight in her small arms.

  Logan gives me one last wave through the window before they head down the road. Tears are dripping down my cheeks, but I manage to wave back.

  I manage to keep it together until the Jeep disappears, then the dam breaks free and I fall.

  12

  Logan

  I try to focus on the training brief LT is giving us for our OP tomorrow, but I still can’t get the image of Katie breaking down as we left San Diego out of my mind. I never thought we could feel so much for each other so quickly. I have loved her for as long as I could remember, but for her to have that strong of a connection to me that quickly, just seems impossible.

  “Cowboy! Get your damn head in the game! If this were a real operation, you would probably get someone killed,” LT yells from the podium.

  “Sorry, sir,” I say from my seat in the back.

  “I know we have done these exercises a million times. We could probably do them in our sleep, but with every deployment comes new threats to both our families at home and us. I expect all of you to be an example to your fellow SEAL team.” LT sighs before he continues.

  “We are one of two teams being deployed on this mission that don’t have any unseasoned guys. All the other teams have multiple that are fresh out of training.”

  Everyone seems to be holding the
ir breath waiting for LT to come back with a joke or say he is playing us. Everyone remembers their first time in the field. The chaos, mayhem, and downright fear that they had.

  “It is up to all of us to make sure that these boys come home safe.”

  “Sir, yes, sir.”

  We now understand the importance of this training. Not all of us are coming home breathing, if at all. We will ensure that every precaution is taken to bring these young men home to their significant others and mothers just like others have done before us.

  “You’re dismissed. Report back here at 0400 hours tomorrow morning,” LT says before climbing down from the podium.

  I gather my mission brief and head for the door.

  “Hey Cowboy, wait up a minute,” LT calls as he heads my way.

  SHIT. I am in for it now.

  It was bad enough he could tell I was not paying attention, now I’m getting my ass chewed out.

  “Somebody’s in trouble,” Charlie says in a sing-song voice as he walks by.

  “Shut your mouth before I call Avery and revoke your privileges for being an asshole!”

  “You wouldn’t! That’s a low blow dude. You know how the Tornadoes get when I’m an asshole to anyone but them!” Charlie responds.

  It would be hilarious if he didn’t look like he was about to cry.

  “Then I suggest you change your tone son and make it quick!” LT says from my right.

  We all snap to attention as soon as we hear his voice.

  “At ease gentlemen, no formalities for this conversation. I just wanted to check in and see how things are going. I’m not used to my men having ladies to go home to. How are the ladies handling you being away?”

  Well this is NOT the conversation I was expecting, but I’ll take it. Charlie is the first to respond.

  “Oh, you have nothing to worry about, LT. The Tornadoes and Katie are old pros when it comes to SEALs and their deployments.”

  “I see that you are… umm… missing them very much Kelo, or should we start calling you Hard-On from now on?” LT stifles a laugh as he answers Charlie.

  We all look at LT in confusion before Newb shouts.

  “There it is again! I told you, whenever you mention the Twins, he gets an insta-boner!”

  I look down at Charlie and notice the huge bulge in his pants.

  “I would have to agree, Hard-On would make a great new call sign for him.”

  I’m barely able to get the words out before I begin to laugh. Charlie takes this surprisingly well.

  “Trust me, if you had the same beauties waiting for you at home, you would be walking around like this all day, every day. I’m surprised I don’t have chafing from all the times I’ve had to beat off!”

  “Get your asses out of here, and get some rest, we have a long day of training ahead of us tomorrow. Make sure you take care of business, both physical and mental, before we leave. I need you both to have your head in the game when we’re out there.” LT looks us both in the eye as he heads out of the briefing room. We both catch his hidden meaning as we exit and head toward our barrack room.

  Thankfully, Charlie and I got lucky and are sharing a room. When we get in, all I want to do is grab my phone and call Katie, but I need to have a talk with my best friend first.

  “Charlie...”

  “I know man. You need to tell her.” He responds as he sits on the bed across for me.

  I hate how he knows what I need before I even open my damn mouth. It’s been like that since day one. He is the reason that I’m not lying in a ditch dead somewhere. Charlie pulled me from the bottom of a bottle after Ryan died. I owe him my life, in more ways than one, now I am going to ask him to protect me from myself once again.

  “I have no idea how this is going to go. I may lose her forever man.”

  “If she runs, then you were not meant to be in the first place. Ryan would not trust her to just anyone. Honestly, the way she reacted when we left, I do not think that she will stay away for long.” Charlie reasons with me.

  “I know, but this is huge. I have loved her for what seems like my entire life! I can guarantee that this will not go well for me if she tosses me to the side.”

  I shoot up from the bed and begin to pace. I can’t even begin to think about losing her right now after I’ve held her in my arms. Forget about the taste of her skin or how wet and ready she was for me before Avery ruined it with her big mouth. I would gladly trade all of that to guarantee this conversation would end with a happy ending for the both of us.

  “Logan, man you need to calm down. You have me, and well, maybe you should talk to Avery and Amber before you tell her,” Charlie says from his position on the bed.

  I stop pacing and look at my best friend, “Have you lost your fucking mind? Those two hate me on principle, and then to tell them this, I might as well cut my heart out myself because they will never let me anywhere near Katie again.” I grip my hair in anguish as I fall back onto my bed.

  “Stop being a damn Drama Queen. And you better stop talking about my women like that or we will have issues. Yes, I agree the Twins are very protective of Katie, but if you can explain to them what went down and where you are coming from, they will hear you out. I am not saying they will be happy with you, but they will at least hear you out.”

  “So, you’ll help me?” I ask hopefully.

  “Oh, fuck no, man! I plan on having my dick buried deep inside both their pussies from the day we get back from training, until the day we leave for deployment. If I know one thing about these two, I will get blamed for your shit. So, sorry, you’re on your own!” Charlie replied.

  “What happened to dicks before chicks’, bro?”

  “It went right out the window the first time I laid eyes on Avery and then she called Amber. They don’t know it yet, but they are my everything. Now, I just have to convince them that I am theirs.”

  I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of him convincing either of the Tornadoes to do anything, “Yea. Good luck with that, Hard-On.”

  “Thanks, I am going to need it. Speaking of a hard-on, it is time for another Skype call with my girls. I was requested to be hard and ready when they called, so I suggest you vamoose if you don’t want a show.”

  “You don’t have to tell me twice, I wanted to give Katie a ring before lights out anyway. You know the sign, don’t forget the boxers on the knob so I know when I can come back in. No one wants to see your naked white ass jerking off again.” I chuckle as I head out the door to give my girl a call.

  Lord only knows how many more times I will be able to hear her sweet voice before I have no choice but to break both our hearts. I just hope that I’m able to pull the pieces back together.

  13

  Katie

  It isn’t even right how much I miss him right now. He has been gone for only a few days, but to my heart, it feels like a century. This can’t be normal, I was married to Ryan for almost three years and this emptiness that I feel being away from Logan doesn’t even compare.

  This is wrong on so many levels, Ryan was my husband. Just because he died doesn’t mean I should completely forget about him and fall head over heels for the first Navy SEAL that comes knocking on my door.

  “Dollface? Are you still there?”

  “Yea, sorry I just got lost in thought for a minute. Avery and Amber called earlier. Apparently, we are having a girl’s night at my place, no excuses. Pray for me!”

  “Mmhh, those two can be trouble but try to have fun. You can’t be sitting around waiting for me to come back to you every day, now can you?”

  “And who said I was sitting here waiting for you?” I can’t help but sass back.

  “My mistake, Darlin’. I don’t want to keep you from any important business you need to attend to. Have fun with Avery and Amber, I’ll try and give you a call when we get back from training if you want.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that.” I try to backpedal.

  “I know exactly how you mean
t it, Katie.”

  “Cowboy…”

  “Katie, have a great night with the Twins. I will talk to you later.”

  I don’t get a chance to say another word, as I am greeted with the dial tone.

  FUCK! That was not how that conversation was supposed to end.

  I throw my phone on the counter and head for the fridge. Nothing a big glass of wine can’t fix.

  “Where is my Kit Kat?” Avery yells as she enters the kitchen.

  I really should change my locks.

  I pull my head out of the fridge holding a big bottle of wine and a six-pack of hard cider.

  “Alright there, Tiger. What happened that can’t be solved with a pint of Haggen Daz?” Amber says from the doorway.

  “Logan,” is all I manage to get out before I am sitting in a heap on the floor.

  Avery and Amber come rushing over. Suddenly, I am engulfed in two sets of arms. There are threats of castrations and twenty-foot holes where they will never find a body flying around before I can get a word in edgewise.

  “Why is it that you two always think that someone has to have done something to me? Can’t I ever be the bad guy?” I screech as I wrench myself out of their arms on up off the kitchen floor.

  “Well, not really. You will always be right, even when your wrong, girl. Chicks before dicks. You know this,” Amber responds.

  Why am I even surprised by their answer? They have always been there to put the pieces back together, especially after Ryan died.

  “Come on babes, spill it. We know there’s something spinning in that little head of yours. I can see the steam coming out of your ears from here.” Avery says as she heads toward the cupboard to grab two glasses down and pours her and Amber wine.

  “If I’m going to have this conversation, it’s going to require something more than wine and beer ladies. We have to bring out the big guns.”

  “Awww shit. We better call Jimmy. Last time we had tequila, we needed bail money,” Amber said as she reached for her cell phone.

  “I’ll go find something good on TV and make us a bed in the living room since this was supposed to be girl’s night. Kit Kat you go upstairs and change. We all know once we start drinking we aren’t moving and it’s fucking uncomfortable to sleep in jeans.”