Lessons From the Professor

by Shyla Colt

  “Sidney didn’t strike me as the type of man who wanted to be chased.”

  “Don’t we all want to know someone cares about us enough to bring us back when we pull away?”

  Sutton smiled. Leigh had a point.

  “You’re right; I can at least give him a call and feel things out.”

  “There’s my girl.”

  “Thanks, Leigh.” She turned and hugged her close.

  “That’s what I’m here for. We’ll get together on your next day off for some girl time.”

  “A pedicure sounds like heaven about now.”

  “You’re on.” Leigh said.

  They finished dressing in comfortable silence and headed up toward the exit. They were just a few yards from the exit door when she heard someone call out her name. Damn! Sutton let out a groan before she pasted a smile on her face and turned around.

  “Thank goodness I caught you. There’s a handsome older gentlemen here to see you.”

  A grin lit her face as she turned towards Leigh who shared her enthusiasm. She made a shooing gesture and Sutton turned on her heel and rushed towards the front desk. She’d never been so happy to be called back onto her floor after a twelve hour shift in her life. The heels of her sandals clacked against the off white tile as her stride ate up the length that separated her from Sidney. She’d never expected something like this from him.

  She rounded the corner of the hallway and skidded to a stop. The man who stood a few feet away from her was not the one she’d expected to see. Even from the back she would know Jackson anywhere. He was well over six feet, with broad shoulders, a trim waist, and wheat colored hair he kept cropped close to his head. Her heart pounded in her ears as her stomach soured. Her feet felt like they were glued to the ground, and time seemed to slow down as he turned to face her. She saw a flash of perfect teeth as his full lips spread into a wide smile that made the women around her twitter with excitement. They whispered about how lucky she was, but all Sutton wanted to do was scream the hospital down around her and head for the hills.

  “Hi, Sutton, long time no see.”

  “Jackson, what are you doing here?” She crossed her arms over her chest, and shifted her weight from one leg to other, hiking the book bag she carried back up her shoulder.

  “I came to see you.”

  “Why?”

  His smile faded at the unfriendly tone of her voice.

  “I think we should talk in private, don’t you?”

  “No, but some place quieter would be ideal.” The last thing she wanted to do was be somewhere alone with him. That was when he went for the jugular.

  “Follow me,” she said.

  Sutton turned and headed for the cafeteria, slowing as she passed Leigh. “This is my ex,” she mouthed before she continued down the hallway. The blood drained from Leigh’s face, and Sutton nodded her agreement as she continued at a brisk pace. They stepped into the near empty cafeteria, and she took a seat by a set of vending machines in the far corner.

  “I have to say you don’t seem very happy to see me,” Jackson said as they were seated.

  “That’s because I’m not. Why are you here, and how did you find out where I worked?”

  “Your mother mentioned it. Was I misinformed about you not dating since we went our separate ways?”

  Did this self-centered son of a bitch really think that highly of himself? The looks and air she once found attractive had lost their charm.

  “I don’t understand what any of that has to do with you. I made it clear we had nothing more to say to one another on the phone.”

  “Come on, Sutton. It’s obvious there are still lingering feelings. We were good together, so why waste time playing hard to get?”

  “No, Jackson, we really weren’t. Good to you was getting to do what you wanted with me at home waiting for you. If you’d truly loved me you never would have done or said half the things you did.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You were a master at manipulation. Every disagreement we ever had you flipped around until I was the one apologizing and feeling guilty. You acted like I was some sort of shrew who was riding you too hard, when all I ever wanted was what I was due. A boyfriend who respected and appreciated me for who I was and the things I did for him. You isolated me from my friends and family. You had me thinking you were the only one who’d ever truly understand me or put up with my shit. What a joke!”

  A scowl lined his lips as his brow furrowed.

  “That’s not how I remember it.”

  “How was it then, Jackson? Please tell me, because I’m dying to hear this, because just a few weeks ago you were bending over backwards to reassure me the reason we failed rested on your shoulders.” It looked like a leopard didn’t change its spots. All that feel-good bullshit he’d spewed had been an attempt to win her back. The deception fueled her anger. She narrowed her eyes and scowled as he continued.

  “Look, I was willing to wait for you to finish out your education and get situated in your career before we got married. I never pressured you to have sex.”

  “Because it gave you an excuse to stick your dick in everything on two legs in the hospital!”

  “A man has needs.”

  “Then he should stay single.”

  “You’ve changed.”

  “I sure as fuck hope so.”

  “You were always such a frigid little bitch. Everything was about school and launching your career. I had to get what I needed somewhere. It wasn’t just about the sex, Sutton. I kept waiting for you to finish one goal and free up time so you could turn to me, but then it was always on to the next one.”

  “You knew who I was before you asked me to marry you, Jackson.”

  “I knew you were a dedicated student. I didn’t expect you to keep that intensity after you graduated! I’m a doctor. I understand wanting to get good grades and be top in your class. But at some point you have to make time for others.”

  “I did!”

  “Not enough.”

  “Then you should have said something.”

  “When, Sutton? I mean were you ever planning on slowing down enough to actually plan a wedding and make it down the aisle?”

  “Yes! Unlike you, I don’t lie to the people I love.”

  He shook his head. His full pink cupids-bow lips curled up into a sneer.

  “Listen, Jackson, I’m sorry you came all this way for nothing. I would never enter into a relationship with you again. You’ve said your piece, and now this conversation is over.”

  She stood from the table, and turned to leave when his hands clamped down around her wrist like a vise.

  “Do you really think you can just dismiss me like some errand boy?”

  She blinked as he stood, towering above her with a dark expression she’d never seen him wear before.

  “You’ll take your hands off her if you know what’s good for you.”

  The silky voice made her want to melt into a puddle. Sutton couldn’t help but grin as she glanced up and spotted Sidney standing a few feet away. He was dressed smartly in a pair of pressed black slacks and a black button down. The anger that flashed in his black eyes made her knees weaken, her nipples harden and the juices gush between her legs like a fountain. She’d never seen him so ruffled before, and the fact that it was due to her brought on an instant arousal. Who knew she was the type to like to play damsel in distress from time to time?

  “Sutton, tell your supervisor everything is fine.”

  “I am not her supervisor, and I told you to let go of her.” He punctuated each word with a step closer. Sutton took advantage of Jackson’s shock, tugging her wrist free as she came to stand by Sidney. The feel of his large hand on the small of her back was reassuring.

  “Who is this, Sutton?”

  “This is my boyfriend, Sidney.”

  “Oh I see, the only one who’d put up with that cold fish act of yours is an older gentleman who’s probably more than happy to be with a
younger woman.”

  “I’ve never found Sutton to be cold in any way. It’s clear to me the error must lie with past partners. Younger men can be so rash. Only concerned with their own pleasure and pursuits in life, they miss the prize that’s in front of them until it’s too late to get it back.”

  He spoke in a calm unaffected manner, yet his words cut like a razor. Silence fell as Sidney wrapped his arm around her waist.

  “I don’t imagine we’ll be seeing you again.”

  He turned, and she allowed him to guide her out of the cafeteria and up the hallway. She soaked up the warmth from his body. The run-in with her past had her off kilter.

  “Since we just faced your baggage head on, it only seems fair I share mine. I know I overreacted the last time we were together, but I had my reasons. I took the time these past couple of weeks to work my way through … unresolved issues.”

  Sutton turned to face him when they reached her car, and smiled. He was an unconventional sort of handsome. His nose was a bit too large, and slightly curved from his years playing rugby when he was younger. His salt and pepper hair was mostly salty. Still, right now he was her knight in shining armor. She wasn’t used to having someone defend her and fight her battles. It was something she could get used to.

  She titled her head back to glance up at him a she leaned against the car, and slid her hands into his soft onyx strands of hair. She rose up onto her tip-toes and allowed her mouth to caress his in a gentle meeting of lips before she pulled away.

  “Thank you.”

  “I told you I take care of what’s mine,” he said.

  “Am I?” she whispered as she traced a finger down his neck, smirking when he hissed.

  “Are you what?”

  “Still yours.”

  “Yes, if you want to be.”

  “I’ve missed you terribly, Sid. I won’t even attempt to lie about that. However, the disappearing act has to be addressed. I won’t be with someone who runs hot and cold again.” She shook her head as she pushed away thoughts of Jackson. This was her chance for closure, and a fresh start.

  “I would never expect you to deal with that on a long term basis, Sutton, and that’s why I asked for some time apart.”

  “Speaking of time, how did you manage to show up just when I needed you?”

  “I was just leaving my office for the evening when I got Leigh’s text.”

  “I’m glad. I don’t think he would have taken my brush off seriously.”

  “That’s because he’s an arrogant horse’s arse.”

  She laughed at his accurate description. “You hit the nail on the head there.”

  “We should continue this in a more private location. Do you want to follow me back to my place?”

  She nodded her head as they parted ways, and she slipped inside of her car.

  Chapter Eleven

  Sidney began his explanation once they were seated on his couch with drinks. She opted for water, but he found he needed a scotch to take the edge off. He swirled the amber liquid in his glass as she waited patiently beside him.

  “When I met Christine, she was twenty-seven and I was forty-six. We were at a BDSM club event. I play often, but it’s not a practice of mine to take on submissives personally. So when she approached me, I didn’t think of anything more than the pleasure we brought one another.”

  He paused to take a sip of his drink as the moment replayed in his mind. It was times like this he cursed his photographic memory. The images were just as fresh as the day it had occurred.

  “She was young, blonde, and eager to learn. At first, the age difference didn’t bother me. She was a woman in search of knowledge, and I was indulging her. The first time we met she was un-collared and curious. So when she asked for a demonstration I agreed.”

  “What did she want a demonstration of?” Sutton asked.

  He cringed mentally as he glanced up and met her gaze. “Flogging.”

  Her eyes widened, but he was relieved to find them free of censure.

  “I started her off with a light round of gentle swats. She came alive underneath the leather tassels, and I knew she had the potential to make someone a great sub.”

  “Is that what changed your mind?”

  “No, she was very green, and I wasn’t. Newbies in general are a risk to invest your time in because they’re basically auditioning the lifestyle to see if it suits them. When you add youth on top of it, the odds of them walking away after you’ve put your time and effort into them dramatically increase. Traditionally, I prefer to play with a more experienced woman who’s been in the life for awhile.”

  “Because they know the rules?” Sutton asked.

  “Partially, but more so because they understand themselves, what they like, where their limitations lie, and what direction they want to travel in. It makes my job as a Dom easier to perform. ”

  “You seem like the type of man who likes a challenge.”

  “Sometimes,” he said. “Certainly, that was the case when it came to you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because your responses were the most raw and natural I had ever seen.”

  “How can you say that? Isn’t that why you were with this girl?”

  “Her name was Christine, and what I have yet to mention is, she was an actress. After our session at the party she pursued me. It was flattering, of course, but I resisted for months.”

  “Why?”

  “Because there’s nothing worse than an old man whose been made out to be fool by a younger woman. Also, what she said she was looking for didn’t match what I believed I had in me to give.”

  Sidney’s gut twisted into knots as he took the leap and opened up to Sutton for the first time. “After a few failed attempts at a relationship as a youth, I figured they weren’t for me. BDSM offered me an alternative. I was providing someone with what they wanted, but there was no deep emotional connection. I didn’t have to meet parents, or go to dinners with friends.” He could see the confusion in her face as she frowned.

  “We’re nothing like that.”

  “Not all BDSM relationships are like the one we have now, and I was always careful to seek out like-minded partners. We were friends who fulfilled a need for one another, and that was as far as it went.”

  “Why would you want to live like that, Sidney?”

  This was the moment he’d been dreading. When he laid everything out on the line and waited for her response.

  “I had a horrible example of relationships growing up. My father was an alcoholic who liked to beat my mother and terrorized my sisters and me. From the moment I hit my growth spurt at eleven, it became my duty to protect them. I think the experience fostered my need to be in control of things, as well as my interest in the study of human behavior.”

  “Oh my God, Sidney, I’m so sorry.” Her eyes were warm and filled with sympathy, but no pity. That he could handle.

  “It’s the past now, and I’m honest enough to admit, my mother should have left, but it’s just not what you do where we come from.”

  “What made Christine so different from everyone before her?”

  “Looking back on it now I think it was just time to take a chance combined with the fact that she wore me down. After six months of saying no, my mind began to wonder what if. I’m not a man who lives his life with regrets, so I agreed to a trial period. Thirty days to see if we were could meet in the middle and find common ground.”

  “It’s obvious you must have,” Sutton said.

  “We did. She brought out a protective instinct in me that allowed her to work her way under my skin. She had some issues being bratty, but I saw it as a challenge that would push me to become a better Dom.”

  “Bratty how?”

  “Christine purposely disobeyed my orders, and did what she could to test my boundaries, and get a rise out of me, or in her words when she left, attempt to.” Bitterness rose inside of him as he scowled. “For three years things were great. I thought she was t
he one, and I bought a ring.” Sidney rushed ahead when Sutton gasped. If he stopped now he would never get all the words out. It still burned him that he had been played so easily. “I came home early from work, ready to propose, and found her moving her things out of the house.”

  “Oh my God! Sidney!”

  He glanced up to see her cover her mouth with her hand. Her brown eyes were wide and filled with horror. It was an unexpected comfort. She didn’t seem to see him as less of a man. A man was supposed to be strong, and not show weakness, and being taken for a ride was a huge oversight, especially for me. I study the behavior of others for a living, for Christ’s sake. That’s your father talking. Sidney had moved on from the past for the most part, but occasionally it snuck back in to haunt him. “As she packed she told me I was cold, emotionless, and would be alone for the rest of my life if I didn’t change. She said the BDSM was an experimental stage for her that was coming to an end, and she’d found someone better suited to her needs.”

  “What a bitch!”

  Her anger on his behalf made him smile. She and Christine were like night and day. It was a shame he’d let his insecurity blind him to that fact for so long. He owed Jackson really. Without his unwanted appearance he’d have to eat a lot more crow to get her back.

  “Her cool dismissal made me snap. I broke her figurines, tossed her suitcases out into the hallway and ranted and raved like a lunatic. I had never been that out of control in my life. It scared the shit out of me. After years of watching my father terrify the women in my life, the look of horror and fear on her face made me sick to my stomach. I think that’s why I took the break-up so hard. It made me re-evaluate what I thought I knew to be a fact.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She was right. I did hold back to protect myself, and in the end it was why she’d left. If I had been more forthcoming and committed the outcome might have been different.”

  “How can you look at it that way?” she asked. Her eyes narrowed as she eyed him cautiously.

  “Trust me; I didn’t for a long time. But the time you and I spent apart allowed me to work things out. My request wasn’t just a cop-out because I was scared.” He chuckled when she pursed her lips and gave him a look that said she thought he was full of shit.