by Shona Husk
“I didn’t want to say anything before because...” he trailed off and looked at her.
She knew exactly why he hadn’t said anything. “Because sometimes women want to go out with you because of what you do.” Olivia finished for him.
“Yeah, they seem to think it’s glamorous.” He gave his car a friendly pat.
“I’m sure it will be eventually. Are you going to tell me the band’s name?” In her mind she was already starting to try and guess. Did she have any of his music on her smart phone? The idea was so…cool. And so not her. Which was another reason she shouldn’t go out with him. But if she was going to step out of her comfort zone, she might as well do it properly.
He looked at her for a moment as if considering.
She knew he didn’t really want to say, but he didn’t want to be rude either. “If I haven’t worked it out by lunch tomorrow, will you tell me?”
He grinned, obviously relieved. “Deal.”
“Clue?” Because she was going to try and find out.
“There’s four of us.”
Hmm. And he’d been touring over east this year, which meant his band must have had something out this year. That still left a lot of potential bands. Although she also knew that Western Australia was home and he’d suggested Freo for lunch. “Anything else?”
“No more clues.”
She knew what she was doing for the rest of the day. The internet would know all and she would find out who Ed was. “I don’t know your surname.”
“Ha ha. You’re tricky. I like that. I don’t know yours either. I can wait…” He checked his watch. “Twenty six hours.”
Okay, so tomorrow would be the real get to know you date. Which meant she should mention Ethan. Some things could be revealed later. At the moment she was enjoying what was happening and she didn’t want to scare him off. Although he was hardly suitable date material if he was always flitting off to the eastern states.
He may not be the kind of guy that she wanted in her son’s life. But he was someone that she could have a little fun with. The idea of dating was as exciting as it was scary but it would be nice to have something for herself.
She drained her coffee cup and stood. “Until tomorrow.”
He straightened so he was no longer leaning against the car. “Yeah. I look forward to it. Should we swap numbers?”
Olivia laughed. If he was making her wait, he could do some waiting. “Tomorrow.”
Chapter 6
Curiosity had overtaken and as soon as Ethan was napping, Olivia had gone online to see if she could find Ed. It wasn’t hard to find him, even without knowing his surname or the name of the band. All she’d had to do was add Fremantle band to Ed and there Selling the Sun was, complete with pictures.
Olivia clicked on one. Ed stood next to a girl, Gemma Field, with bright red hair, who was daring the camera to try something. On the other side of her was Dan Clarke who was best described as too pretty—she had no doubts that he was breaking hearts all over the country. On Ed’s other side was Mike Peterson looking very tall, blond and serious.
Ed had his arms crossed, but he was almost smiling as if he didn’t take the whole thing too seriously. She already knew he did. And he had no other job to fall back on. He might be almost smiling but there was that look in his eyes that she recognised, as she’d seen it too often in hers recently.
A need for change, for something more than what was on offer. She’d felt it when he’d been talking too.
She knew she should stop there, now she knew who he was…but she couldn’t. It was one thing to hear Selling the Sun’s songs on the radio but another to actually go out to lunch with a rock star. That’s what he was, even if he hadn’t used that word.
He could have anyone he wanted.
He probably had. Plenty of women would throw themselves at him. It must be hard to resist the attention. Her nose wrinkled. This was a bad idea. She didn’t need the complications this would bring. Nor was he bring home and meet the family material. Olivia glanced at the time. Ethan would be up in a few minutes and the time she’d been supposed to be looking for work and writing her résumé had been sucked up by looking up Ed Vincent, front man of Selling the Sun.
Was it too late to cancel lunch?
That would be rude, plus she didn’t have his phone number. That was her fault.
It was lunch. Nothing more and it wasn’t like she had other plans.
She closed her eyes. She’d rather have lunch with Ed than talk about the past again with Miles’s parents. The idea of sitting in the stuffy, too warm living room, sipping tea and reliving her high school years made her want to gag. Sometimes she wanted to yell out that Miles was drunk and that all of this was his fault. He caused the accident. He killed himself.
But they knew that.
So she smiled and drank her tea that had been laced with fake sweetener instead of real sugar and agreed how much Ethan looked like his father. Olivia drew in a sharp breath and opened her eyes, her gaze landing on her naked finger. They’d notice she’d stopped wearing the ring. They’d want to know why. Her heart became a hard fist and she had to fight to breathe.
How could she tell them that for the first time in three years she was stepping out of the holding pattern? That she was leaving the shadow of the past to feel the sun on her skin again? It had felt good to bask in the glow of desire.
Things happen for a reason—if she’d had a dollar for every time she’d heard that, she wouldn’t need to look for a new job—but maybe there was some truth to the saying.
She’d been going through the motions of living, but she wanted to get out and live. On the other hand, it was too much change too fast. Her job and Ed and everything else were all tumbling together and she wanted to slam on the brakes and find her feet instead of racing on.
Olivia released a slow breath, the way she had so many times when she’d started to feel overwhelmed. Ed would lose interest when he saw the scars and learned about Ethan. She didn’t have to call off lunch or end what was going on because Ed would do that. All she had to do was be ready for the brush-off.
There was no way she was what Ed was looking for in a date or a summer fling or whatever they were doing. Until then she should enjoy what was happening. Isn’t this what she’d wanted when she took off the ring? A chance to see what was out there instead of hiding?
She glanced at his picture on the screen before closing the tab. She had to show up tomorrow. She wanted to show up tomorrow. It had been a long time since she’d been in a man’s arms and the idea was so tempting, but how honest did she want to be? How badly did she want this to be more than lunch?
The sun slanted through the window, warming Ed’s arm despite the AC blasting out the vents—he didn’t care how bad his car looked as long as the AC worked. There was nothing more miserable than jumping into a hot car in the middle of a WA summer and then having to sweat it out, opening the windows only let in a hot breeze that desiccated eyeballs in under five minutes.
He tilted the vents a touch more, not wanting arrive in Freo sweaty for his first real date with Olivia. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone on a date in daylight…or gone on a real date. While he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, there had been occasions where he’d hooked up with someone because it was easy and they were offering.
They all had—except for Gemma and possibly Dan. He didn’t know what had actually happened between Dan and Lisa, only that none of it had been good. It was nice to be doing something close to normal. That was the reason he was second guessing his decision to tell Olivia who he was. If he could’ve dodged the question for a little longer, he could’ve been just Ed for a little longer.
He parked his car in the brightly coloured multi-storey car park and paused in the air conditioning for a moment longer. Most of the time he didn’t want to be just Ed. He wanted more. He could feel it burning in his soul like a thirst he couldn’t quench.
However, when it came to girls, he didn’t w
ant them to want him because of what he did. Picking up after gigs had made him realise that it wasn’t him they wanted. Not really. They’d wanted to brush up against stardom.
He wanted to hold the stars in his hand. When he did, all those who doubted that he had what it took to be great would see they had fed the fire. His teachers at school, and most of the kids, had said go for it in one breath and then reminded him that few made it with the next.
Get a real job, then try.
But if he had a job he wouldn’t have time to try. His father was waiting for him to grow up and get a real job. Not that he’d used those words, but if Ed ever complained about his car or a lack of money, his father reminded him that this was his choice and the solution was easy.
All he had to do was admit he’d failed and that everyone was right. He was good, but not great.
Satisfactory. Ordinary. Average.
The heat assaulted him as soon as he got out of the car. Heat plus a small amount of nerves wasn’t a good mix. He wiped his hands on his black shorts then made his way down the stairs. He knew better than to trust the lift in this car park. His mother had got stuck in there and less than a month later one of her friends had. He wasn’t willing to take that chance.
By the time he’d walked to the corner where he was meeting Olivia he was still early, but only by a couple of minutes. He’d made it a habit to never be late or keep people waiting. The band was a business and he had to be professional. There were too many tales of bands who’d thought they’d made it and started acting like big shots, only to have a rude awakening. The music industry in Australia was too small to piss on people.
He fiddled with his smart phone as he stood in the shade. Checked his social media and then his emails—none of which he’d done this morning as he’d gone out for a surf with his mates. While they’d ribbed him about not going to Bali, again, he’d agreed to go out with them after playing at the Basement on Bannister. That was shaping up to be a great night.
He liked playing in Freo and the Basement, while small, had a great feel and was well known for supporting local acts. Selling the Sun had played there many times before they had signed, but this was the first time they’d played there since the release of their first album. It was ironic that they’d been invited to join in the Basement’s successful cover series and play an album that had influenced them, and not their own work. It was also a mark of recognition.
He glanced up as a blonde woman crossed the street and walked towards him.
Olivia.
Large sunglasses hid most of her face. Her hair was in one long braid over her shoulder and she was wearing one of those shapeless ground-length dresses that seemed to have been in fashion for years. But when the breeze gave a half-hearted attempt to cool things down, the blue fabric pressed against all the right places.
As she drew closer he dragged his gaze up to her face—glad she couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses. His gaze stopped on the pink scars that covered her shoulder and traced part of the way down her arm. They weren’t the kind of scars that just happened; they were the remains of a major injury.
“Hi,” she smiled, but there was an edge that he hadn’t seen before.
“Hey. Shall we find somewhere inside before everyone rushes to get lunch?”
“Sure.”
Her responses were too casual. He’d expected her to mention who he was, or something along that line. Didn’t she like his music? That would be awkward.
They walked down South Terrace until they found a pizza place with AC and inside tables. It wasn’t flash, but it did great pizza.
“Is there anything you don’t eat?” For all he knew she was vegan or something. He probably should’ve started with do you want to share or do you want to get one each and let her lead into any dietary requirements. That was never a consideration when it was only drinking that was being done.
“No.” She shook her head, her gaze fixed on the menu. “If we get two we can eat from both?”
He nodded and his gaze flicked from the menu, and the selection of regular and gourmet pizzas, to the scars. Were there more? Was he really being that superficial? She didn’t have to tell even if he asked, and he didn’t need to know. He liked her, she was interesting and he’d never forget the way she’d smiled when he got her car going. It was not the way she’d smiled at him today. There was definitely something going on.
He might be out of practice, but getting the chill on a first date was never a good sign. They ordered and then there was that silence. Dating was a whole lot harder than he remembered. Might as well rip the dressing off and see what the damage was.
“So…what exactly did you learn about me?” Not everything online was flattering.
Her lips curved, but it couldn’t be called a smile. “Enough. You’ve had a busy year.”
“It’s nice to be home.” Despite the fact he’d rather not be living at home. “What about you? I know you bookkeep but that’s all.”
“I think I’m about to lose that job when the new owners take over.”
“That’s a bit rough.” He poured water from the bottle the waiter had placed on the table, glad to have something to do.
She nodded. “I’ve been there too long and it’s time to go.” She shrugged and glanced away. “I’d love to go to uni and get my accounting degree.”
“So why don’t you?” Gemma was going to resume study part-time next year. Because she was younger she hadn’t finished uni before things had started happening for the band. It meant she had nothing to fall back on. That she felt the need for it was a bitter pill, but he knew that nothing was guaranteed.
Olivia took a drink of water. Her hand shook as she placed the glass down. Then she looked at him and he knew bad news was coming. “You’re a rock star.”
He laughed. “Rock glow in the dark ceiling star—possibly.” Not that what he did had anything to do with why she didn’t go to uni and follow her dream.
She frowned at him, not appreciating his attempt at humour. Did she not like what he did? What exactly had she read about him? He hadn’t done anything that bad.
“I’m twenty two. I was in a car accident three years ago. I lost my fiancé and nearly my baby and my life because he’d been drinking. Now I have a three-year-old son and a part-time job. My life isn’t as carefree as yours.”
The waiter placed the pizzas on the table, which gave Ed a moment to absorb what she’d said.
She had a kid.
She’d had a fiancé.
Six months ago he’d have run and run fast because that what he’d wanted. Now he wasn’t sure what he wanted. But picking up after shows wasn’t it.
Olivia was three years younger than him and she’d lived more than he had—although she probably thought the same about him. Most people thought his life was one big party. For a while it had been. But there were only so many boozy nights and hangovers he could handle and continue to put on a good show. And only so many random encounters before he’d started to feel hollowed out after. The tour had left him feeling scraped clean, as though he’d had nothing left for anyone. It was only now he was starting to get back some feeling other than tiredness.
Olivia was waiting for him to say something. His mind was blank. She’d have been nineteen when all that had happened. “You’re a survivor.”
He probably should have put a bit more thought into those words.
“The alternative is death.”
“Yeah.” It was. He picked up a piece of pizza and started eating. Now he had an excuse not to talk and the silence returned.
Skipping conversation and jumping straight to sex was easier, as both parties knew what they wanted. Here he had no idea. He glanced at her shoulder. Every other time she’d worn clothing that had hidden the scars. Today she had them on show. For him?
Should he ask about them and the car accident? Was it a test to see if he would, or did she not care about them and simply really liked the dress?
He took a cou
ple more bites and tried to find something else to say. “What’s your son’s name?”
“Ethan. We’d picked it out before…”
“You were pregnant at the time of the accident.”
“Eight months—it wasn’t planned.” She looked at the pizza and picked off a piece of capsicum before eating it. He watched her lips, already thinking of finding an excuse to kiss her. Her gaze returned to him. “Are you being polite or do you want to know? If you want to go, I won’t hold it against you.”
Did she really expect him to bolt because of what she’d said? Is that what other guys had done? “I like you. I want to know.”
“I’m not rock star girlfriend material.”
“I must have missed that memo.”
Olivia smiled her first unguarded smile of the day.
The rest of lunch went a little more smoothly and she almost managed to shake some of her doubts about Ed. He seemed genuinely interested, but the truth would be revealed when he did or didn’t call. It was easy to be polite and make promises while out, but much harder to keep them once the reality had set in.
She wasn’t going to call him to arrange another date. She wasn’t that desperate.
Yes she was.
It had been years since she’d had sex with someone other than herself. And while not as long since she’d gone on a date, this one was going much better because he hadn’t freaked out at the scars or Ethan. She was enjoying herself despite herself.
Ed was attractive. He had that sun-kissed look about him and while his hair was really too short and utilitarian, she wasn’t going to hold that against him. No woman would kick him out of bed in a hurry. And she needed the connection and the chance to be someone other than mum. She didn’t want to wake up alone one day in her forties and realise she’d missed all the fun.
Dating a rock star would be fun.
She’d spent all morning trying to work out what to wear and what to say. In the end she’d decided that she’d rather reveal the truth than hide it. Secrets always came out in the end and it would be much worse, and hurt more, if she liked him more. So she’d spent the drive here preparing herself for him to make excuses and bolt.
