Desire In His Eyes
Page 23
“We’ll go after her in the morning,” Jeffrey continued reassuringly. “The only logical conclusion is that Juliette must have gone to the Dunbars. We’ll catch up with her soon enough. We’ll find her.”
Harrison stood there in mute silence, with Melissa and Jeffrey staring at him. Juliette was gone from him. Torn between an overwhelming sense of outrage and a profound hurt at Juliette’s betrayal, he wondered just how far he would have to go before he reached her and made her see that they were perfect for each other.
And if it would even be worth his effort.
25
You Reap What You Sow
“Juliette!” Christina Dunbar exclaimed when Juliette, for the second time in a matter of weeks, unexpectedly knocked on the door of Christina’s Fifth Avenue townhouse later that day. “I thought you were still traveling with Lord Eddington.”
“I need to return home,” Juliette explained briefly.
Leaving Fleming Farm had been her only option after Melissa revealed the extent that Harrison would go to coerce her into marriage. With nowhere else to go, she went to the only place she knew. That she had managed to get to New York on her own was a small miracle in and of itself. She had to move quickly that morning and luckily the rain had subsided as she took the Sea Bird to New York. She packed lightly, bringing only the most necessary things with her, and left most of her clothes with Melissa, who had been thrilled with the gift.
“You are more than welcome to stay here with us for as long as you like,” Christina offered kindly, her searching brown eyes filled with compassion. “I would love to have you here. You know that, do you not?”
“Thank you for your generous offer, but I don’t think that I can stay.” Juliette shook her head, full of determination. Not only could she not stay with Christina because of the inappropriateness of her husband’s behavior, she needed desperately to be with her family again. “It is time for me to return home.”
Christina gave her a questioning glance. “What happened to your English lord?”
Juliette laughed lightly, but felt a sharp tightness within her chest. “Lord Jeffrey Eddington is not, nor has he ever been, my English lord. He is merely a very good friend.” She sighed in weariness. “But I suppose he will be here looking for me soon enough.”
She knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jeffrey would come after her, if only to make sure that she was safe. Part of her wanted to wait for him, but she feared that Harrison would more than likely be with him. She was angry enough with Jeffrey, but she did not know if she could ever forgive Harrison for attempting to manipulate her into marriage with him. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs every time she thought about what had happened.
As soon as Melissa revealed all that she had overheard, Juliette knew she had to get away immediately before Harrison’s plan had a chance to succeed. And considering how she lost all sense of lady-like decorum, reasonable composure, and any semblance of good judgment when she was with Harrison, she had best leave immediately. She could no longer trust herself with him.
“I need to book passage on a ship to London as soon as possible,” Juliette said to her friend as they sat in her private sitting room, having tea.
“Well, we shall see what we can do about that,” Christina said brightly. “Maxwell will be home soon. I am sure he can see that you are booked on a ship for England.”
At the mention of Maxwell Dunbar, Juliette cringed. His leering eyes and loose hands made her skin crawl. That man had caused her the only moment of hesitation she had at returning to New York. She definitely could not stay any longer than absolutely necessary at the Dunbar residence.
“Thank you. I appreciate your help on my behalf.” Juliette thought for a moment. “Christina…” she began hesitantly. “Are you happy in your marriage?”
Christina stared at her oddly. “What on earth do you mean?”
“I meant just what I said. Are you happy being married to Maxwell?”
“Yes, of course,” Christina murmured, her hand instinctively covering her swollen belly. “Why do you ask?”
“You and I talked about our futures and marriage a great deal when we were younger.” Juliette shrugged. “Since I am not married myself, I simply wondered if marriage was what you thought it would be and if you were happy with your life now. That is all.”
Christina continued to stroke the curve of her stomach unconsciously and she did not smile. “I have a very wealthy husband, a baby on the way, and I live in the most fashionable neighborhood in New York City. My parents made an excellent choice for me. What more could I possibly wish for, Juliette? Of course, I’m happy in my marriage. Who would not be happy with all of this?”
“Yes, of course,” Juliette responded woodenly. “How silly of me to think otherwise.” A wealthy husband and a baby. Why wouldn’t any woman be happy? And why wasn’t the thought of that enough for Juliette? Why did she crave something different when every woman she knew found a husband and children to be more than satisfying enough?
That was the question that had kept her tossing and turning for many a night.
And searching for that elusive something was what lured her to all of her quite interesting, yet unconventional, choices in her life.
“If you don’t mind my saying, Juliette, it probably is for the best that you return home.”
Surprised into silence, Juliette said nothing as her friend continued.
“Not that I have not enjoyed having you here to visit,” Christina explained hurriedly, with a little wave of her hand. “I am only saying this to you because I am your friend and I think it needs to be said. I am sure that once you are back in London, your sister can help you find the perfect husband. Now that Colette is married to an earl and future marquis, she and her husband must have only the most eligible prospects in mind for you. You could marry as well if not better than your sister, if you would put a little joy and effort into it. Don’t you see? Your family’s circumstances have changed drastically since I first met you. A whole new level of society has been opened for you. Last year, your uncle put you on the market for your beauty. But now you have a dowry and your beauty. You could be quite the catch of the Season.”
Christina paused to catch her breath for a moment and still Juliette said nothing, for she was rendered speechless.
Her friend persisted in a rather serious tone, “I would have given anything to have such an opportunity! Oh, you claim that you don’t wish to be married, but that is stuff and nonsense and you know it! Be realistic, Juliette! What else can any woman aspire to in this life but to marry well? So you might as well marry as successfully as you can. Do you really believe you can continue traipsing about by yourself? Having adventures? Aside from being ridiculous, it is unseemly and terribly dangerous. And if you are not very careful your behavior could damage your reputation forever. You are restless and unhappy now only because you have no one to take care of you properly. But once you are suitably married, as I am, and you are settled down in a lovely home with a husband you can care for and even a precious baby on the way, you shall see just how nice and comforting a marriage can be.”
Taken aback by Christina’s condescending speech, Juliette counted to twenty before she opened her mouth. With every fiber of her being, she resisted the urge to contradict her friend’s conventional beliefs. Suddenly she felt indescribably sorry for Christina.
They had become friends long ago, when they were young girls and they both shared the same vision of their future. Now it seemed they had nothing in common, for Christina had changed over the years. Her parents had arranged a marriage for her with a man who did not love or care for her, or even respect her. What other choice did Christina have but to accept her irreversible situation and put forth a happy façade? How else could she bear it? And who was Juliette to tell her differently, when she still had options available to her in life?
Juliette would rather be alone for the rest of her life than to be trapped forever in a marriage to som
eone as unappealing and offensive as Maxwell Dunbar. The thought of having a man like that in control of her life was unbearable and only perpetuated the stultifying and demeaning rules of society for women. She was more resolved than ever to not get married and let a man control her life.
“I daresay you are correct, Christina,” Juliette lied, feeling slightly nauseated. “Once I have a husband and I am properly settled, I am sure I shall be as happy as you are.” The words stuck oddly in her throat, and she wished with all her heart that she were home already.
“You shall see that I am right one day.” Christina smiled knowingly at her, a satisfied smile on her face. “Hopefully sooner rather than later.”
Just as Juliette predicted, Jeffrey Eddington showed up at the Dunbars’ townhouse early the next afternoon. By that time she was more than ready to give him a piece of her mind. Once again Christina and Maxwell Dunbar, eyeing Juliette suspiciously, allowed her and Jeffrey some privacy in their lavish parlor.
“I must say I am becoming a little tired of chasing after you, Juliette,” he quipped the moment they were alone.
“I never asked you to come after me,” she responded heatedly.
“What you did, yet again, was irresponsible and dangerous! You cannot continue to simply go off on your own like that. Anything could have happened to you!”
“Oh, spare me the details on how a woman cannot travel safely by herself!” She retorted angrily, rising from her seat on the divan. “As you can plainly see, I am fine. I have traveled about on my own many times now. I was not accosted. I did not get lost. There is not a scratch on me. I am perfectly capable of getting from one place to another on my own. I know what I am doing.”
“You have just been exceedingly lucky!” he exclaimed, his voice growing louder. “Do you honestly think you know what you are doing?
“Yes, I do!” She said in a furious whisper, well aware that he was referring to more than just her travels. “And keep your voice down or Christina and Maxwell will overhear everything!”
Glancing quickly to the door, he turned back to face her. When he spoke his voice was softer but no less irate. “Do you ever consider, for one single moment, anyone’s feelings other than your own?”
She nodded, yet her stomach flipped over. “Of course I do!”
“No you don’t!” Jeffrey spat out. “Do you even realize what you’ve put your sisters through? What you have put Harrison through? What you’ve put me through?”
Juliette fumed in silence, biting back a stinging remark.
Jeffrey continued to berate her. “You cannot continue to just take off running from place to place with complete disregard for everyone—”
“We’ve already discussed this topic!” she interrupted furiously. “But while we’re on the subject of considering the feeling of others, what about you?”
“What about me?” He echoed in disbelief. “What have I done but travel from one continent to another to make sure you were safe?”
Juliette’s cheeks flushed scarlet and her hands clenched tightly at her sides. “Oh, don’t play the martyr to me! I know all about how you and Harrison were planning to trick me into marrying him!”
“What of it?” he retorted.
Juliette gasped. She had not expected this response from him. “So you do not deny that you and Harrison planned to compromise me to force me to marry him?”
“No, I don’t deny it,” he stated flatly. “It was for your own good!”
“How dare you?” Juliette fought to contain an enraged scream. “Are you both so great a pair of fools that you think I can be so easily manipulated? How could you possibly think something like that would work?”
Juliette had never seen Jeffrey look so angry. He glowered at her and his jaw was set. For even as furious as she was, she took a step back from him.
“Oh, I see,” he said, his words dripping with disdain. “I see now. You have a double standard. One set of rules for others to adhere to and another set for you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” she scoffed.
“It was perfectly acceptable for you to trap an unsuspecting Colette and Lucien into marriage last year, because you thought it was for the best, but when you are the object of manipulation, when somebody does something they think is in your best interest, it is suddenly not allowed. You, Juliette Hamilton, are the worst kind of hypocrite!”
“Be quiet!” she hissed between clenched teeth, while furtively glancing at the door. “I am not a hypocrite, because they are not the same matters in the least! Why you cannot even compare the two situations at all! Our little deception of Lucien was well intended and harmless!”
“Harmless?” Jeffrey cried in indignation. “He gave me a black eye!”
“Shh!” She commanded with a sharp look and then continued as if he not spoken. “What you and Harrison proposed to do to me was despicable! You were planning to publicly humiliate me!”
“As if you ever gave a damn for what the public thought of you! You don’t care about anyone but yourself!” Jeffrey blasted her in a low tone. “And you certainly didn’t care when you arranged for Lucien to be embarrassed publicly! Your ideals were not quite so high then, now were they?”
“You have no idea what you are talking about!” She found her own voice becoming shriller by the moment.
“I have a better idea than you give me credit for. You give yourself airs about your independence and freedom, yet you turn tail and run from situations and people you cannot control because you are scared!”
“I am not scared of anything or anyone!” Juliette trembled, unnerved by their outbursts. She and Jeffrey had never been this angry with each other.
He pinned her with a scathing look. “Then explain why you ran from Harrison a second time?”
Her chin went up. “I ran because I didn’t want to be forced into a marriage and because I never wish to see Harrison Fleming again as long as I live!”
“Well, I’ve got good news for you then,” he flung the words at her. “You just got your wish!”
She paused then, taking a deep breath at Jeffrey’s words, trying to ignore the growing tightness in her chest. “What do you mean, I got my wish?”
Jeffrey folded his arms across his chest, satisfied that he had taken the wind from her sails. “I mean just that. You never have to see Harrison Fleming again, because you have finally managed to drive him away for good!”
“That suits me perfectly!” Juliette snapped. Her stomach rolled at Jeffrey’s news. In spite of all she said, she had expected Harrison to come in search of her. She wondered what Harrison had said or done when he discovered that she had left, but she refused to ask Jeffrey. She feigned indifference.
“You can be terribly cold, Juliette,” Jeffrey shook his head in disdain.
The door to the parlor opened unexpectedly and both Jeffrey and Juliette froze. Maxwell Dunbar poked his gray-haired head in the room. His beady eyes moved quickly between Juliette and Jeffrey, attempting to assess their situation. “Christina and I thought we heard voices raised. Is everything all right in here?”
Juliette pasted a bright smile on her face, “Oh, we were simply disagreeing about when to return to Eng land. We are absolutely fine. I am terribly sorry if we disturbed you.”
“Yes, I’m afraid I possess rather a loud voice.” Jeffrey smiled as well. “May we have another moment, please?”
Maxwell considered them both suspiciously before nodding his head in agreement. “I shall be directly outside the door if you have need of me, Miss Hamilton.”
“Thank you.” She cast him a brilliant smile. When the door was closed once again, Juliette rolled her eyes in frustration.
Turning his back on her, Jeffrey walked to the window. A long and tense silence grew between them.
“Melissa was also quite saddened by your sudden departure,” Jeffrey said in a considerably softer voice.
Juliette’s heart began to race wildly at the thought of Harrison’s sister. “She i
sn’t, that is—she hasn’t done anything—”
He turned from the window and faced her again. “No, she has not done anything dangerous,” Jeffrey informed her. “At least as far as I know. When I left, she was still in her calm mood.” He shuddered. “Eerie girl, that one.”
Melissa definitely had her problems, but Juliette had found a sympathetic friend in her. Almost a kindred spirit. Oddly enough, Melissa, in her own tortured inner world, understood Juliette as no one ever had. Meeting Harrison’s sister had been an eye-opening experience for Juliette. Relieved to hear that Melissa had not done anything to hurt herself, Juliette relaxed somewhat.
“Judging from your rather sudden departure from Fleming Farm, I take it that you are ready to have your little adventures come to an end?”
“For now,” she murmured resentfully. Yes, she would be returning home, and yes, it was more than likely a wise decision, only because she needed to get as far away from Harrison Fleming as she possibly could. However, she would never cease to give up her dreams to seek adventure and freedom in her life. She just needed to go in a different direction was all. Yet on some level, she could not help but feel that she was returning home to her family in failure and disgrace.
Jeffrey’s voice was clipped and cold. “Then I shall take the liberty of booking passage for us both on the first ship for London.” He gave her a sharp look. “Unless, of course, you plan to stay here in New York and allow Maxwell Dunbar to fondle you.”
“I shall leave with you,” she murmured low, somewhat subdued by their fierce encounter. Even as angry as she was with him, she did not like the tension between her and Jeffrey. She managed to choke out, “Thank you.”
“Just remember, Juliette,” Jeffrey cautioned her before he left. “Not everything in this world revolves around you.”
Juliette watched him leave with a heavy heart.
Jeffrey had not visited her at the Dunbars’ house again nor had they repaired their friendship by the time they left New York a few days later. After a tearful good-bye from Christina, Juliette found herself aboard the Oceanic, the White Star Line’s newest, fastest, and most modern steamship on her way back to England. Matters between Jeffrey and her still felt awkward when they boarded the steamship. Unusually quiet and withdrawn, Jeffrey immediately retired to his cabin.