The following morning, she was nursing Logan when Phil arrived, two-year-old Katie clinging to his side, her little arms around his neck, while Megan walked beside them, holding her father’s hand. “There they are. I told you Mommy was okay,” he said to Katie before kissing the top of her head.
“I want to see him! I want to see him!” Megan said, jumping up and down.
“Okay, but no touching,” Phil said as he lifted her with his free arm and settled her against his hip. “Your hands aren’t clean.”
“Baby,” Katie said, pointing at Logan, her eyes wide.
“It’s Logan,” Megan said. “His name is Logan, Katie.”
“Baby,” Katie repeated.
“Logan,” Megan said. “Say ‘Logan,’ Katie.”
“Baby,” Katie said again.
“Katie—”
“It’s okay, Megan,” Lina said. “She can call him baby for a while.”
“But his name is Logan.”
Lina met Phil’s eyes and smiled up at him. As exhausted as she was, Phil’s obvious pleasure was contagious. He’d told her he didn’t care what the sex of the baby was, he just wanted it to be healthy, but as she watched the joy come to his eyes as they traveled to Logan, she knew it wasn’t true. Of course he would have loved the baby regardless of the sex, but he wanted a son, and she was happy she could give him one.
Lina was at the kitchen island sipping a glass of wine and absently stroking Knight’s head when Phil appeared from the front of the house a short time later. “How is he?” She came to her feet.
“He’s angry at me, but less so than before we talked.”
“Good.” She met his eyes, which looked bluer in contrast to his dark beard.
“I’m taking him to the Ravens game on Sunday. I’ll talk to him more then.”
“How’s your hand?”
He looked down had his bandaged hand. “It’s fine.”
“It doesn’t hurt?”
“Don’t.” He shook his head. “I told you Friday. If you don’t want to be my wife, don’t act like you are.”
“So I can’t even ask you how you’re feeling?”
“No.” His gaze traveled to Katie as she entered the kitchen from the family room.
“Don’t forget I’m getting my license tomorrow,” she said to Lina.
“You have to pass the test first.”
“Grandma said if you want something, you should talk as if you already have it—that makes the universe bring it to you.”
“Practicing helps too,” Phil said dryly.
“Will you take me to get a car on Saturday?” Katie had taken out the orange juice and was pouring herself a glass.
“If you pass, yes, but early.”
“I thought she was going to drive Megan’s old car,” Lina said.
“No, she changed my mind.” He stepped over to Katie and kissed the top of her head. To Lina’s amazement, she had no negative reaction. “I’ll see you Saturday.”
“Bye, Dad.” Katie headed back towards the family room with her orange juice.
He turned to leave and bumped into Knight. “Sorry, boy.” He swiped his hand over his head and Knight’s entire body wiggled with excitement.
“I know you never liked the idea of a dog in the house, but he’s a nice distraction for the kids.”
He frowned. “I always wanted a dog.”
“No, you didn’t. You always said no when the kids asked you.”
“That was because you didn’t want one. Remember the Lab puppies the secretary at work was giving away? You said no.”
He was right. How had she forgotten? The kids were all still young and he had wanted to bring one of the puppies home, but she had said no because she thought it would be too much work. “You never asked me again.”
“That’s because I figured you’d tell me if you changed your mind.”
Lina assumed Nick would be alone, so when she approached the fifty-foot sailboat moored on the end of the dock at a marina in Annapolis, she was surprised to see several people mingling about near the helm, drinking what looked to be mimosas and otherwise enjoying the mild late-fall temperatures. He had texted her early that morning asking if she wanted to join him on his sailboat, and with Katie off car shopping with Phil and Logan at a friend’s, she’d said yes.
Her steps slowed as she advanced, not recognizing Nick among the group and wondering if it was the right boat. She had come to a complete stop when she saw him emerge from the cabin below, looking every bit the boatman with windblown hair and a light jacket. A smile creased his features when he saw her, and then he nimbly maneuvered around the others and off the boat.
“Any problems?”
“No. Your directions were perfect.”
“I’m glad you could make it.” He brushed his lips over her cheek. “Come meet everyone.”
“Everyone” turned out to be three of his classmates from medical school and their significant others, plus an exceptionally attractive woman named Dana who was the sister of one of the other women. Although Lina’s arrival undoubtedly thwarted a setup attempt, the other women were friendly, and after a couple of mimosa, Lina felt herself relaxing and enjoying Nick’s friends.
“So, how do you know Nick?” one of the women asked Lina.
“I—”
“Our boys are friends,” Nick answered before she had to. “They attend the same school.”
The conversation turned to education, and as the group conversed, Lina only half listened, her attention more focused on Nick as he and one of the other men put up the sails. He made it all look so effortless, and she felt her attraction to him growing as she watched his hands gripping and maneuvering various ropes while he skillfully handled his boat. When he was done, he held out his hand to her. “Let me give you a tour.”
The tour ended in the cabin, which looked like a small apartment. “You could actually live here,” Lina said.
“People do it all the time. I prefer a little more space.”
She stopped before a map, which had red tacks in various locations. “Are these all the places you’ve been?”
“In this boat.” He was directly behind her.
“Which one’s your favorite?”
“If I had to pick, I’d say the French side of the Virgin Islands.” He reached around her and tapped the map, his chest pressing into her back.
Lina closed her eyes. With the alcohol in her system, she had no willpower to resist him. “We shouldn’t,” she whispered.
“Shouldn’t what?” His hand slid down her waist and gripped her hip. “Look at a map?”
“Stand so close.” Even as she uttered the words, she was leaning back into him.
“You smell so good,” he whispered against her ear.
“I thought we were just friends.”
He ran his hand over her stomach, pulling her back still farther. “My mind isn’t in control of me right now.” He brushed his lips over her earlobe, eliciting goose bumps from half her body.
“Hope I’m not interrupting,” came a booming voice as one of Nick’s friends entered the cabin.
“You’re definitely interrupting,” Nick said, stepping back from Lina. “I was showing her my favorite Caribbean destinations.”
“Yes, I could see that,” he said dryly. “I just came down to make some more mimosas.”
“I’m going back up,” Lina said, avoiding Nick’s eyes as she stepped around him.
Lina joined the rest of the group in the helm area of the boat, sinking down onto a cushioned bench seat as she breathed in the sea air and tried to get a handle on her emotions. Her heart felt like it was beating a hundred miles a minute.
“How long have you and Nick been together?” Dana asked.
“We’re not together,” Lina said quickly. “We’re just friends.”
Another woman laughed. “I’ve known Nick over fifteen years, and he definitely thinks of you as more than a friend.”
“He’s just coming out of his re
lationship with Emily, so…” She trailed off when Nick and a fresh pitcher of mimosas arrived.
Lina lost herself in the day, not thinking of her children or Phil as she drank, ate and laughed with Nick and his friends while they enjoyed a beautiful day on the water. Where Phil’s conversations with his friends, brothers or colleagues would invariably turn to sports, Nick’s exchanges that day jostled from the plight of women in the Middle East, to ideas on battling the increasing addiction to drugs in America, to the upcoming theatre season. The only time the conversation even remotely touched sports was a brief discussion on the rising number of concussions in youth soccer, and while she knew she was a bit outmatched by the breadth of some of their knowledge, Lina still found their discussions a refreshing change.
“Do you see the house with the two chimneys to the right?” Nick asked, pointing towards the shore. “Just steer towards it.” He was standing behind her at the wheel of the boat. “That’s it. Just keep on that course.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to be responsible for turning the boat over.”
“I don’t want you to be responsible for that either,” he teased. One of his hands rested on her hip, a place it had been more often than not over the course of the day.
“I’m serious,” she laughed. “I’ve never steered a boat before.”
“You’re fine.” He began dropping feather-light kisses on the side of her neck. “More than fine.”
“Nick,” she breathed.
“Yes, Lina?”
“You said we could only be friends for now.”
“I changed my mind.”
39
It was almost dark when Lina and Nick walked across the marina parking lot towards her car, the sound of gravel kicking up under their feet piercing the evening air. “This is me,” she said, stopping beside Phil’s BMW.
“New?”
“No.” She tossed her things in the back seat before turning from the car, her heart rate accelerating as she met his eyes.
He took her hand, tugging her towards him. “Thanks for coming.”
“Thank you.” Lina could hardly think as she looked into his eyes. “You should say good night,” she said breathlessly.
“Good night, Lina,” he whispered before lowering his mouth over hers.
As soon as his lips touched hers, she was kissing him back with an abandon that could only be the result of weeks of longing. He hooked one arm low around her waist as he hauled her body into his, his other hand framing the side of her face as he deepened the kiss, he too appearing completely overwhelmed.
She circled her arms around his neck, wanting, needing to be closer. It wasn’t until the feel of his erection pushing against her stomach penetrated her desire-filled haze that she was able to break the kiss, turning her face into his neck. “We have to stop,” she breathed.
“Come back to the boat with me.”
“I can’t,” she said, brushing her lips along his collarbone, her mind and body at odds over what she should do. “I need to get home.” Even as she said the words, she was curving her hand around the back of his head, her fingers threading through his hair as she pulled him down for another kiss.
Nick opened his mouth over hers, their tongues tangling together as he deepened the kiss, his hand stroking her lower back and hips as he pressed his lower body into hers.
The sound of approaching voices and laughter served as a splash of cold water, and Lina again broke the kiss, dragging her mouth from his as she dropped her forehead into his chest. “I have to go—my kids.”
He wrapped her in his arms, holding her body firmly against his, his chest rising and falling with his breathing. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against her head. “I lose all reason with you.”
The magnitude of what she’d almost done hit her full force. “I have to go. Please.” She pushed her hands against his chest.
“Lina?”
“Let me go.”
He loosened his arms, drawing in a breath as she stepped away from him. “Don’t get upset with yourself.”
“I’m not even legally separated.” She yanked open her car door and was immediately besieged by Phil’s familiar scent. “Oh my God.”
“Lina, nothing happened,” Nick said. His grip on the door kept her from pulling it closed. “We kissed.”
She pressed her forehead into the steering wheel. “I know.”
“Tell me where your mind is.”
“I don’t know. I’m just confused.”
“About what?”
“You,” she whispered, tilting her head up so she could see him.
“I’m sorry.” His brows were pulled together, a look of concern etched across his features. “I should have exercised more control.”
“It’s not your fault. I wanted it too. I just feel so guilty.”
“Do me a favor and try not to overthink this. We kissed, nothing more.”
“I kissed him,” Lina said as soon as Adele answered her cell phone.
“Shut up!”
“I did and now I feel so guilty.” Lina had pulled the car to the side of the road and called Adele as soon as she left the marina.
“Lina, stop! You have nothing to feel guilty about. Phil —”
“Don’t mention him. I don’t want to think about him.” She rubbed her eyes. “I knew this would happen.”
“Stop it! Stop thinking. You like him and you kissed him. You are separated. It’s not like you’re going home to Phil.”
“I know.” Lina drew in a breath. “You’re right. Why am I feeling like this? Why do I feel like I’m cheating on him?”
“I don’t know, but you’re not, so get it out of your head. Now tell me about the kiss.”
Lina leaned her head back against the headrest and then, as briefly as possible, told Adele about the day, going out on the sailboat, meeting his friends. “They were so well-read and smart. I need to—”
“Okay, get to the good part,” Adele interrupted. “Well-read, smart people sound boring.”
“They weren’t boring. They were interesting and—”
“Can you move forward to the kiss? I don’t care about the other people on the boat. If they hadn’t been there, we would be talking about more than a kiss right now.”
“Fine.” Lina told her about their interaction in the cabin, his undivided attention throughout the day and, finally, the kiss.
“You should have gone back to his boat with him. Just one look at him and you can tell he’d be great in bed.”
“You can’t say that,” Lina said, even though she suspected the same thing.
“I think I can,” Adele said. “I have a lot more data than you.”
“I’m not discussing this with you.”
“Why not? You’re single again. This is the kind of thing single women discuss.”
“Not this one.”
A dark Honda sat in the driveway when Lina arrived home, and she assumed someone was visiting until she saw the temporary license plate on the back of the car. “Is that Katie’s new car?” she asked Logan, who was stretched out on the couch with Knight, watching a college football game, a passion he and Phil shared each fall.
“Yes.”
“It’s used.”
“It’s what she wanted. It has top safety ratings. She printed a bunch of stuff out to show Dad. She found it online.”
“Good.” Lina was impressed by both Katie’s tenacity and Phil’s willingness to not force a car on her that she didn’t want. “Did you see your dad?”
“He was here when I got home,” Logan said, continuing to stare at the television.
“Did you talk to him?”
He shrugged. “He watched the first half of the game with me.”
“That would explain this,” she said as she picked up an empty beer bottle from the coffee table. “Unless there’s something you want to tell me.”
He looked at her then. “Are you trying to be funny?”
“Yes. I want you to smile. I
miss your smile.”
He gave her a fake smile before turning his attention back to the television.
“Logan—”
“I just want to watch the game.”
The moment Lina stepped into her master bedroom she knew Phil had been in the room. It wasn’t that anything was out of place, she could just sense him. She crossed to his wardrobe and stared into the empty space. Every physical trace of him was gone. She pulled the door closed, refusing to let her mind dwell on the finality of it. She opened the drawers to his dresser, and they too were empty. He had expunged himself from the room and yet, as she looked around, her eyes traveling from the bed to the sitting room and everything in between, his presence was palpable. There were too many memories.
“How long was your dad here today?” Lina asked Katie, who was sitting in front of a mirror in her room, applying mascara.
“I don’t know. I didn’t pay attention. He took a bunch of his clothes. Uncle Mike helped him, and then he came back again I think.”
“Did he find somewhere to live?”
“Yeah, a furnished house in Farside,” Katie said, referring to a ritzy neighborhood less than a mile away. “The owners are in Europe or something. It’s big.” She turned from the mirror. “I think he expects me to spend some weekends with him. I shouldn’t have to suffer because the two of you are separated. I see him more now than when he lived here, plus he calls me every night. It’s ridiculous. I’m sixteen, not six.”
“He calls you every night?” This was news to Lina.
“Yes, and there isn’t that much to say.” Katie returned her attention her eyelashes. “I want to tell him to stop, but he seems sad, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Would you talk to him?”
“No, it’s not my place.”
“You’re the reason he’s sad.”
Lina didn’t feel it was appropriate to remind Katie that he was the one who had an affair, so she instead changed the subject. “Why are you putting on makeup?”
“I’m going out.”
“With who?”
Katie hesitated. “Just friends.”
A White Picket Fence Page 24
