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Writing Game

Page 8

by David Lodge


  MAUDE

  I’ll come with you. You don’t want to start the bleeding off again.

  MAUDE escorts SIMON to the bathroom. They go in, leaving the door ajar. LEO, looking unhappy, sits slumped in a chair with his drink. The door of the bathroom closes, softly, but with a perceptible click. LEO spins round, stares at the bathroom door. There is a knock on the outside door, and JEREMY, dressed in a corduroy jacket, enters hurriedly, carrying a first-aid box.

  JEREMY (looking round)

  Where’s Simon? Penny told me he had a frightful nosebleed.

  LEO

  He’s all right.

  JEREMY

  She said he was stretched out on the sofa like ‘The Death of Chatterton’. I wonder what caused it?

  LEO

  Picking his nose.

  JEREMY

  What?

  LEO

  He banged into something.

  JEREMY

  Oh dear, I do hope he doesn’t claim against the insurance. The premium is overdue. Where is he, anyway? I’ve got some gauze and cotton wool in here.

  LEO

  He’s in the bathroom, cleaning up.

  JEREMY moves towards the bathroom.

  LEO

  Maude’s with him.

  JEREMY stops in his tracks.

  JEREMY

  Oh, well, I’ll just leave the box, in case he needs it.

  LEO

  You can go in.

  JEREMY

  No, it’s all right. (He puts the box down on the table and moves towards the outside door) I won’t disturb them.

  LEO

  Wait!

  LEO comes across to JEREMY.

  LEO

  ‘Disturb them’? What the hell d’you think they’re doing?

  JEREMY (titters)

  I don’t know, I’m sure.

  JEREMY moves towards the outside door. LEO, beside himself with jealous suspicion, grabs his arm and turns him round.

  LEO

  But you do have some idea?

  JEREMY

  Would you mind letting go of my sleeve? (LEO releases his grip) The material creases rather easily. (Smooths sleeve) If you must know, I think she fancies him.

  LEO

  Maude fancies that wimp?

  JEREMY

  She has a reputation for collecting young writers, you know.

  LEO

  No, I didn’t know.

  JEREMY

  Yes.

  The bathroom door opens. JEREMY starts guiltily, and moves away from LEO. MAUDE comes out of the bathroom. There is a smear of blood on her bosom.

  MAUDE

  Oh, hallo, Jeremy.

  JEREMY

  I gather Simon’s been in the wars. I brought the first-aid box over.

  MAUDE

  Thanks, but he seems to be all right now.

  JEREMY

  Oh, good.

  MAUDE

  He’s just washing the blood out of his shirt.

  LEO

  Some of it seems to have rubbed off on you.

  MAUDE (looks down at her bosom)

  Oh, dear. Never mind, it’s an old dress. I thought the reading went rather well, didn’t you, Jeremy?

  JEREMY

  Yes, the students were intrigued. And the fact that Simon’s piece … what was it called?

  LEO

  Confessions of an Asshole.

  MAUDE

  Instead of a Novel.

  JEREMY

  Yes. I think the very fact that it was incomplete, a kind of conscious failure, as it were, made it reassuring to them.

  LEO grunts derisively.

  JEREMY

  It’ll be interesting to see what they produce themselves, tomorrow evening. Well, goodnight.

  MAUDE

  Goodnight, Jeremy.

  JEREMY goes out, shutting the door behind him.

  LEO

  I’m sorry, Maude.

  MAUDE

  Apologise to Simon, not me.

  LEO

  I hardly touched him. That wasn’t the punch I promised him.

  MAUDE

  You mean you’re going to have another try?

  LEO

  There’s no satisfaction in hitting a wimp who won’t fight back.

  MAUDE

  I thought Simon was remarkably brave, as a matter of fact.

  LEO

  Brave?

  MAUDE

  He didn’t even flinch when you rushed up to him like some great snorting bull.

  LEO

  Yes, I fell right into his trap.

  MAUDE

  What trap?

  LEO

  I made a fool of myself, and embarrassed you. I’m sorry.

  SIMON comes out of the bathroom in time to hear this last phrase. He is stripped to the waist.

  SIMON

  If you’re really sorry, Leo, you could make amends by swapping rooms tonight.

  LEO

  Why?

  SIMON

  Maude thinks I might suffer some after-effects. She wants to be on hand if I need help.

  LEO looks at MAUDE.

  MAUDE

  I think it would be best.

  LEO

  Jeremy can take care of him.

  SIMON

  I don’t think Leo is going to take a hint, Maude …

  MAUDE (dissociating herself from the wrangle)

  I’m going to bed.

  MAUDE goes to the staircase and begins to ascend it, watched by LEO.

  SIMON (to LEO)

  It’s quite a nice little room in the main house. At the top of the second flight of stairs, on the left.

  LEO watches MAUDE reach the landing and go into her bedroom. SIMON fetches the whisky bottle from the sink unit.

  SIMON

  A nightcap before you leave?

  LEO

  I’m not leaving.

  SIMON

  Actually, it’s not your room we need, Leo, or even your bed. It’s your mattress.

  LEO

  Go to hell.

  SIMON (sighs)

  Very well, we’ll just have to shift as best we can. I hope we don’t disturb your sleep. (Glances speculatively at door of MAUDE’s bedroom) It could be noisy. I’d heard that she rather fancied younger men, but I didn’t know she was quite so … ravenous.

  Taking the whisky bottle with him, SIMON goes to the stairs, humming ‘One More Night’.

  LEO

  Not just younger men.

  SIMON stops on the stairs, turns and looks down at LEO.

  SIMON

  Did you say something?

  LEO

  I said, not just younger men. I had her last night.

  SIMON

  Really?

  LEO

  You don’t believe me?

  SIMON

  Give me some details. Make it convincing.

  LEO

  In the shower. Covered with soap.

  SIMON (shakes head sceptically)

  Too derivative, I’m afraid.

  SIMON proceeds up the stairs.

  LEO

  St Clair! I’m not bullshitting you!

  SIMON

  A little O.T.T., as we say in the trade. Goodnight, Leo.

  SIMON goes into MAUDE’s bedroom and shuts the door behind him. LEO goes to the sink unit and leans against the counter, trembling, undecided what to do. The sound of low, erotic laughter from the room above. LEO goes quickly into his bedroom and snatches up pyjamas, dressing-gown, sponge bag. He comes out of his bedroom and strides towards the outside door. His eye falls on PENNY’s folder, and he checks and picks it up. He strides to the door, opens it, turns back and addresses the bust of Aubrey Wheatcroft.

  LEO (to bust)

  And up yours, too.

  LEO goes out, slamming the door behind him.

  Blackout.

  Act Two Scene Four. The following morning.

  The barn. The sitting-room is empty. The outside door opens and LEO comes in, carrying his p
yjamas, dressing-gown, sponge bag and PENNY’s pink folder. He puts the folder on the table. He takes the rest of the stuff into his bedroom, pausing on the threshold to register surprise at the fact that his bed has been slept in, and the mattress is in place. He comes out of the bedroom and goes to the table to pack up his computer. The bathroom door opens and MAUDE, in dressing-gown and carrying her sponge bag, comes out.

  MAUDE (demurely)

  Good morning.

  LEO does not reply. He takes the lead from the socket and begins to coil it.

  MAUDE

  No word processing today?

  LEO

  I’m leaving.

  MAUDE

  Oh? When?

  LEO

  As soon as possible.

  MAUDE

  The students will be disappointed if you’re not here for the last evening.

  LEO

  Too bad.

  MAUDE

  Simon’s gone.

  Beat.

  I’m afraid we all behaved rather badly last night.

  LEO

  All of us?

  MAUDE

  Well, you did hit Simon in a rather unchivalrous fashion.

  LEO

  And you?

  MAUDE

  And me? Oh, dear, yes. Well, I’m not normally as bad as that, you know. It was Simon I was interested in when I agreed to come on this course. Your standing in for Maurice Denton was an unexpected distraction.

  LEO

  What about Henry?

  MAUDE

  Henry?

  LEO

  Doesn’t he come into your calculations at all?

  MAUDE

  Oh, Henry has his adoring young women. He gives them special coaching in his college rooms.

  LEO

  And you have your adoring young men?

  MAUDE

  Why shouldn’t I?

  LEO

  It’s just … Your novels are full of such fine moral scruple.

  MAUDE

  That’s a rather nice phrase. I must remember to suggest it to my editor for the blurb of Dissuasion.

  LEO

  Dissuasion?

  MAUDE

  Yes, that’s what I’m going to call my new novel. Lying in bed this morning I suddenly thought of how to go on with it.

  LEO

  Is that why you’re so perky?

  MAUDE

  Am I? Then I expect it is. It’s going to be a novel about how young people are shocked if their parents claim the same freedoms as themselves. Marion falls for Hamish of course, but it turns out that he’s unhappily married to a Catholic who won’t divorce him, so they have to –

  LEO (interrupting her)

  Are your children shocked at the way you behave?

  MAUDE

  No, I’m very discreet. You do persist in reading fiction autobiographically, don’t you?

  LEO

  I have a naive, old-fashioned idea that there should be some moral consistency between the life and the work.

  MAUDE

  I’ll let you into a secret, Leo. I was a repressed, unfulfilled young woman, just like my heroines, the ‘sleeping beauties’ as you call them. Married to the first man I slept with, who happened to be my tutor. It was years before I realised I wasn’t the last of his special tutees. I didn’t have a lover till I was thirty-five.

  LEO

  You’ve been making up for lost time since then?

  MAUDE

  Perhaps. A few years ago I wrote a novel about a woman’s sexual awakening. It was quite explicit by my standards. Even had erections in it.

  LEO

  What’s it called?

  MAUDE

  It was never published. My editor advised me not to.

  LEO

  Why?

  MAUDE

  He said it didn’t work. I think really he was afraid it would upset my readership.

  LEO

  I’d like to read it.

  MAUDE

  I’m afraid I destroyed it. I went back to my sleeping beauties, which everybody admits I do rather well.

  LEO (genuinely shocked)

  You should never destroy anything you’ve written.

  MAUDE (amused)

  Why not?

  LEO

  It’s part of your life’s work. Critics in the future will have an incomplete picture.

  MAUDE

  Do you think people will be reading your books after you’re dead?

  LEO

  I wouldn’t go on writing otherwise.

  MAUDE

  Really? I think that’s rather noble. Personally I shall be content if they write on my grave, ‘She gave pleasure to her contemporaries.’ (Yawns) I must get dressed. You know, I’m rather sorry you’re leaving early, Leo. I’ve enjoyed these arguments we’ve had about writing and so on. So did Simon, I do believe.

  LEO

  That argument had nothing to do with ideas. It was just a literary version of the old Oedipal two-step: waste Dad and hump Mom.

  MAUDE

  If it’s any consolation to you, he was rather a disappointment in that department.

  LEO

  You mean he was impotent?

  MAUDE

  Oh no, not as consoling as that. But it was all over rather quickly.

  LEO

  That why he slept in my bed?

  MAUDE (reflectively)

  I’m not sure Simon really likes women. That’s really what his story was about.

  LEO

  Who’s reading autobiographically now?

  MAUDE

  Well, Simon did rather invite it, didn’t he? That was part of the game.

  LEO

  Ah, yes, the game. The writing game.

  MAUDE

  You must admit Simon’s rather clever at it. (She moves towards the stairs) You’re sure you won’t change your mind about leaving? Penny Sewell will be terribly disappointed.

  LEO

  You know that piece she gave me to read last night? It’s very good.

  MAUDE

  Really?

  LEO

  It restored my faith in what I do for a living.

  MAUDE

  Well, there’s an achievement for a little primary-school teacher.

  LEO

  It’s such an incredible advance on the first piece she showed me.

  MAUDE

  I think you owe it to her to stay for the reading tonight.

  LEO broods on this. MAUDE begins to ascend the stairs.

  MAUDE

  Don’t misunderstand me. My concern is purely for a happy conclusion to the course.

  MAUDE goes into her room. Almost at once there is a knock on the door. PENNY opens it and stands on the threshold.

  LEO

  Oh, hi Penny. Come in.

  PENNY

  I know it isn’t half-past ten yet, but somebody said you were leaving.

  LEO

  I wasn’t going to leave without giving you back your piece.

  PENNY

  What did you think of it.

  LEO

  Sit down.

  PENNY sits. LEO picks up the pink folder, opens it and leafs through the contents.

  LEO

  I don’t know quite how to say this.

  PENNY

  It’s no good.

  PENNY holds out her hand for the manuscript. LEO retains it.

  LEO

  It’s very good.

  PENNY

  Really?

  LEO

  It’s a terrific improvement on that other piece you showed me.

  PENNY

  Gosh. Thanks very much.

  LEO

  But.

  PENNY

  But what?

  LEO

  You’re not quite there yet. Nearly, but not quite. One day you could be a writer, a real writer. But probably not with this book. Probably in the end it will be a near miss. You’ll have to put it in a drawer and start another. And maybe another.

&
nbsp; While LEO is speaking, MAUDE, now dressed, opens the door of her bedroom silently, and stands at the threshold, listening to the conversation, unobserved by LEO and PENNY.

  LEO

  If you can face that, you’ll get a book published eventually. And you’ll think that’s the summit of your ambition achieved. Publication! Wow! But maybe your book won’t be noticed much, or you’ll get some hostile reviews, and you’ll discover that just being published is not enough after all – you also want success. Acclaim. So it’s back to the desk and the typewriter again. It’s a hard, lonely road, Penny. You sure you want to go down it?

  Pause. PENNY reflects.

  PENNY

  No.

  LEO (disconcerted)

  No?

  PENNY

  No. I don’t want to go down it.

  LEO

  But you’ve got talent, you know. I mean it. What I said to you just now, I don’t say to many students.

  PENNY

  Yes, I appreciate that, and I’m grateful. But coming on this course has sort of cured me of wanting to be a writer.

  LEO

  You make it sound like some kind of disease.

  PENNY

  Well, it is, isn’t it? A sort of fever. I see it in the other students. The way they look at you and Maude and Simon …

  LEO

  What way?

  PENNY

  A kind of mixture of awe and envy, because you’re all published. And their desperate yearning to be published themselves. It’s eating them away from inside, like cancer.

  LEO

  That’s because they haven’t got any talent. You have. You could be like us one day.

  PENNY

  I’m not sure I want to be.

  Beat.

  I’m sorry. That’s really rude of me.

  LEO (waves the apology aside)

  It’s all right. But tell me why.

  PENNY

  Well, you don’t seem to be very happy.

  LEO

  Happy?

  PENNY

  No. And there’s a sort of jealousy between you all the time. When Maude did her repeat reading, I was watching you, and during your reading I was watching Maude, and last night when Simon was reading I was watching both of you. I noticed that whenever the rest of us laughed at something in the reading, the other one or two of you looked unhappy. The most you could do was to force a thin smile. It was as if you begrudged each other the tiniest success. And then I heard you complimenting Maude on her reading …

  LEO

  The world is full of insincere compliments, Penny.

  PENNY

  The infants’ class isn’t.

  Beat.

  It seems to me that writers are a bit like sharks.

  LEO

  Sharks?

  PENNY

  Yes. I read somewhere that sharks never sleep and never stop moving. They have to keep swimming, and eating, otherwise they would get waterlogged and drown. It seems to me that writers are like that. They have to keep moving, devouring experience, turning it into writing, or they would cease to be recognised, praised, respected – and that would be death for them. They don’t write to live, they live to write. I don’t really want to be like that.

 

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