Recall

by M. Van

  The reference to the old Chinese custom had, of course, originated from Reece, and it had resonated with the rest of us. We had all used the phrase around Spiro, and sometimes I had wondered if he took it as an insult, but as I sensed his reaction, I knew he enjoyed the comparison and saw it as a term of endearment.

  As Spiro left the room, I sat up on the bed but held the blanket draped over my naked body. Saera hesitated by the door. Left alone with me, her musings over Spiro’s reaction quickly faded, and I sensed the fear that ran through her body. I could almost taste it.

  In a way, it seemed as if I was wearing the heads-up device and I could still scan her vitals. It made for a strange sensation and would surely take some time to get used to, but Spiro had warned me of the changes my body could go through after the device had been removed from the back of my head.

  “You know you don’t have to be scared of me, right,” I said. With eyes wide from shock, she stared at me but remained frozen in her spot.

  “I’m not afraid…” she started to say but stumbled on the words. I cocked my head and narrowed my eyes at her. At that, she threw up her arms in exasperation. “All right…maybe a little.”

  “Because you think there’s a possibility I’m not me anymore,” I said.

  Saera nodded her head and added, “And because of this.” She waved a finger between us and grimaced. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with you reading my mind.”

  “I can’t read your mind,” I said with a smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

  “The kid seems to be doing that just fine and”—she hesitated—“you both had a similar device stuck in your heads.”

  “You don’t have to worry about me doing that,” I said, sounded convincing even to myself. “Besides, he had that thing working inside his head for twelve years, and me only two, and come to think of it, he still has it stuck in his head, so…”

  The fact was that I didn’t know to what extent what had happened had changed me or might still change me. I had noticed some heightened senses, but those were minor, like distinguishing all the different smells inside this room. Somehow the scent from the piece of soap sitting on my washbasin reached me where I sat. And although I had always been able to read Saera’s body language, it came easier to me now. I even noticed the reaction of her pupils, but nothing came close to what I had witnessed over the years by watching Spiro.

  Saera seemed to consider my reply before she said, “Well, you better not, because I can’t have you know all my dirty secrets.”

  “I already know all your dirty secrets,” I said as a grin spread across my face.

  “I might have acquired some new ones while you were gone,” she replied with a sheepish look on her face. I instantly knew where her mind had drifted, and I truly hoped I wouldn’t inherit Spiro’s gift, because I could live without the details of Saera’s love life.

  “It’s weird,” Saera concluded and crossed the short distance from the door to my bed. She sat down at the foot of the bed and gave me a strange look that edged on the border of being either thoughtful or suspicious.

  “What?” I asked, unable to hold her gaze.

  “So…” she said, but then she paused. Cocking her head to the side, she continued. “Everything is back in its place now?” She tipped a finger to her own head and then gestured at mine.

  I feigned thinking about it. It wasn’t as if my mind had been flooded with all the things I had forgotten, but I felt confident that if needed, the right memories would surface. With a mischievous grin plastered on my face, I said, “So you’ve finally made a pass at Kelle.”

  Saera frowned, probably not expecting the off-topic comment, but then even in this bluish-lit room, I could tell her face flushed red. Before I had left, Kelle had only been with us for a few years. She must have been fifteen or sixteen when Harp showed up with her on our doorstep. Right from the start, it had been obvious that Saera was smitten by the brooding young girl. But Kelle wasn’t one to be easily won over. She had some serious trust issues and probably still did. I didn’t think even Reece, who managed to bond with her first and who has since become a close friend, knows Kelle’s entire story. As I watched Saera, I had a feeling she must have found out by now.

  I stretched out my arm to reach for the small table beside my bed. A reading lamp and the grimy-looking teddy bear sat on top of it. As before, my grin widened into a smile at the sight of the stuffed animal that had been the first memory to breach the wall built by the device that had been planted inside my head.

  Holding the blanket around my naked body in place, I grabbed the bear. Saera watched me in silence as my fingers traced the toy’s back and found the secret compartment. I pulled out the fine silver bracelet that had been sitting in its hiding spot ever since I’d been gone.

  “I believe this was how you initially intended to win her over,” I said. Saera’s eyes widened at the sight of the piece of jewelry she had entrusted to me for safekeeping. The thin band had belonged to her mother, who had received it from Saera’s dad after he had found it at the plant he worked at. It hadn’t looked like much at first—all brown and smudged, but Saera’s dad had polished the old jewelry for weeks before he presented it to his wife as a birthday gift.

  It was the only token Saera had left to remind her of her parents, and the fact that she’d been willing to give it to Kelle told me enough about how much she cared about her.

  Smiling brightly, she took the bracelet and held it as if it had been made of glass. After a moment of staring at it, she glanced up, and the bluish light filtering inside the room reflected in her moist eyes. She scooted closer and threw her arms around me.

  Apparently, I had given her enough proof that I had returned to my old self again as she held me tight and said, “Good to have you back, sis.”

  It felt good to hug her again and to be hugged myself. It had been too long, and I couldn’t wait to see the others again. Unable to reply, I tightened my grip and relished the idea of being home with my family again.

  “Oh, can I play,” a mischievous sounding voice exclaimed.

  Chapter twenty-nine

  Maece

  Reece stood by the door, leaning against its post with a wicked smile on his face. Saera released her grip and half turned to face him. I didn’t know if it had been Saera’s expression or something else, but Reece softened his tone.

  “Harp has gone ahead to meet with the Subterran council, and he would like us there if you’re able.”

  He did a decent job at holding a lopsided grin on his face, but I could easily read the concern from his eyes. Memories flooded my brain as if someone had left a tap running. I shifted my gaze and saw Saera watching Reece with a smile on her face. The way her face lit up reminded me of us goofing around on the streets of Subterra, getting into all kinds of mischief. I hoped I wouldn’t be the one to put another dent in that smile—not again.

  The information Harp and Kyran had fed Saera and me had all been true. The abuse of the Subterran people in the plants, how ArtRep used Subterrans as enforcers and that we needed a way to remove those neuro regulators. The thing was that Harp had known about most of this information before he had set us off on finding it.

  Our team hadn’t been part of the initial investigation that had gained the council’s support for Harp years ago. Along with the council’s endorsement also came the approval of the Subterran government, although they would never admit it. It was only when signs appeared that something bigger was going on that Harp had recruited Reece and myself. Riffy, Kelle, and Saera were never involved, and Reece and I were sworn to secrecy.

  I swallowed hard at the thought of having to explain things to Saera. She was going to be so pissed.

  “I myself would rather jump off a cliff, but if you’re up for it, I’m willing to sacrifice myself and tag along,” Reece continued.

  “Sounds to me like you were summoned yourself, so don’t pretend you’re doing us any favors,” Saera replied before she turned to me
. “What do ya say, you up for an evening stroll?” The smile was still plastered on her face, and I blew out a breath in the knowledge that Saera might find out some of the finer details sooner than I thought. I just hoped she wouldn’t find out about the part that I had volunteered to become an enforcer—at least not tonight, so soon after we had all just found each other again.

  “Sure,” I said and turned to Reece. “Any idea what they want?”

  “I was hoping it would be about the fact that we’ve just broadcasted ArtRep’s dirty little secrets on every feed across the planet,” he said as he raised a hand to rub at the back of his neck.

  “But?” Saera asked.

  “I’m not sure,” Reece replied. “It all seems too quiet, and Riffy and Kelle have been searching the feeds but have found nothing yet.”

  “That doesn’t have to mean anything,” Saera said. “We always have trouble updating the feeds down here. The connection is lousy, and if there’s a problem at a relay station, it could take days for information from up above to reach us.”

  Saera was right: it could take days for information to travel, but I had a feeling that wasn’t the case this time. Something in my gut told me things were off.

  “Well, if the data does find its way to us down here, I’m sure the council won’t be happy about it,” Reece said, “and they won’t be happy with us.” His words could have been interpreted as serious, but the grin on his face told me he was hoping for just that.

  The council was just a front that was supposed to hide the fact that government officials had any dealings with the so-called rebels. In their eyes, we were just puppets on their strings, and that was exactly how they intended to make us feel—so, in Reece’s eyes, there were never enough ways to irritate them.

  Saera turned back to face me and shrugged. The crooked smile on her face was one of resignation. She didn’t care about the council and their fits—she never had. She lifted the hand holding the bracelet and whispered, “Thank you.” Then she got up and walked to the door where Reece blocked her way out.

  He shifted clumsily on his feet as if he had no control over his body. His eyes darted from me to Saera and back again. It wasn’t hard to identify his reason for the discomfort that he showed. Reece was afraid that I had told Saera about volunteering to become an enforcer and divulging that he had known about it.

  I shook my head at him, hoping that he would understand that I hadn’t told Saera even though I should have. Our eyes locked, and he raised his eyebrows before he released the breath he’d been holding. I frowned at him for being so obvious, but Saera hadn’t noticed as she addressed me over her shoulder. “See you out there, okay?”

  “Okay,” I replied. With that, she exited my room, and I glared at Reece.

  He was still standing near the door with his back against the wall this time. With the edge of the blanket clutched in my fist as I held it before my chest, I tilted my head. He stared at his feet for the longest time, unwilling to face me as if this moment hadn’t been awkward enough.

  It hadn’t been easy to break things off with Reece before I had left. He hadn’t been happy about it, but we had talked it through, and at the time he seemed to have accepted it. If I’d been honest with myself back then, calling the break-up not easy would have been the understatement of the year.

  Because in my time frame it only seemed to have happened a week ago—it still hurt. While my own memories hadn’t been wiped from my brain, only suppressed, the enforcer memories did appear to be gone. This shouldn’t have been the case, and I wondered if Kyran had a hand in that, but figuring that out could wait.

  “So,” Reece said as he shifted from one foot to the other. “You’re back.”

  “I’m back,” I said, not sure what else to say.

  “And I guess you haven’t told Saera the truth yet,” he said as he looked over his shoulder in the direction where Saera had gone.

  “I woke up like five minutes ago.” My remark triggered a tug at his lips and morphed into a grin.

  “I’ll give you that for now, but don’t expect much time to adjust, because the rest of the gang is waiting out there, and I think they might want some answers,” he said as he pointed with a thumb over his shoulder.

  “And you won’t take pity on me and tell them what you know,” I said.

  “And what—take the brunt of Saera’s wrath?” he said. “I don’t think so.” Reece took a step to close the gap between us but then hesitated before he stopped altogether. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and said, “I think we’re gonna need some time to talk this through—all of us.” The expression on his face had gone serious, and it reminded me of the time that I told him what Harp and I had planned. That night he had held that same concern in his eyes, and it was just as hard to look at now as it had then.

  As if a switch flipped inside his head, Reece dropped the concerned expression, and the big smile that frequently lit up his face appeared. I slightly shook my head in amazement even though I knew this to be Reece’s signature method of handling the hard stuff.

  With a shrug, he said, “First we deal with the council. Then you, me, and the rest of the kids are going for a drink. And after we get totally wasted, we’ll talk things out.”

  I let out a chuckle and said, “Great plan.”

  “Of course,” he said. “My plans are always great, unlike the plans of some of us.” His words were said in a playful tone, but I still felt the sting at his affirmation that my plan might have been less than bright. My feelings must have shown on my face, because he shifted uncomfortably but composed himself quickly.

  “Get your lazy ass out of bed,” he said. “We have a council to meet.”

  Reece crossed his arms over his chest and eyed me expectantly. I raised an eyebrow at him and tilted my head questionably. He just stood there without any intention of moving.

  “Reece,” I said and gestured at the door. He looked over his shoulder as if someone might have appeared there before his gaze shifted back to me.

  “What?” he asked.

  “I would like to get dressed,” I said, but I couldn’t help a smile from forming on my lips.

  “As do I,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “Get out of my room, Reece,” I said in a firm, but still playful voice.

  Grinning, he said, “A guy can try, right.” With a chuckle, he turned on his heels and moved to the door.

  “Reece,” I said and noticed the uncertainty in my own voice. Reece stopped at the door and turned to face me. His expression had gone serious again, and I felt grateful that he still knew me so well. “Did I do the right thing?”

  The question seemed odd, even to myself. Intellectually, I knew I had done the right thing. Trying to stop the abuse of our people by ArtRep had the number-one priority in my book—but did it really? I couldn’t help wondering if, in my quest to help strangers, I had let down the people who cared most about me. That was probably why I sought Reece’s approval—again. He had given it to me once, just before I’d left, but so much must have happened in the time that I was gone. Would he have given me that approval had he known what he knew now?

  He straightened and looked me in the eyes as he said, “You did what you thought was right, and even though I wasn’t happy about it then, and I’m not happy about it now, I support your decision.” His words came close to what he had said to me back then, and I felt the sting in my eyes as tears threatened.

  “The others will understand—just as I have,” he added. “Don’t worry. We’re all just glad you’re back.”

  “Are you…” I started to say but hesitated as I suddenly felt unsure of what it was what I wanted to ask. My eyes shifted down to the sheet draped over me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know if he’d been angry with me, although he didn’t show it. But if not, did that mean he was over of whatever we had once shared? It was hard to remind myself that for him it had been two years because it didn’t feel to me as if that much time had passed.

  A
s I looked up, Reece stared at me with an intensity that might have been able to burn right into my soul and the pain that sat behind his eyes was evident. He shook his head and stepped closer until he was standing next to me. I resisted the urge to look away and tilted my head to face him.

  Placing a tender hand on my cheek, he bent down to kiss the top of my head.

  “We don’t have to sort all of this out now,” he said in a soft tone. “We have time.”

  I held my breath for as long as his touch lasted and closed my eyes to savor the feeling, but before I knew it, the moment had passed, and Reece straightened.

  “But we’re gonna be okay, right?” I asked. My breath caught as I looked up at him. He gave me a gentle smile that was nothing like the all-or-nothing charm offensive that he usually threw around. It was a kind smile, but his eyes revealed something that didn’t felt reassuring. An overwhelming sensation of loss fell over me as Reece turned and walked out.

  I stared at the doorway long after Reece had disappeared, unable to get past the sensation that I had broken something and not just with Reece. I just hoped the damage wouldn’t be permanent.

  Chapter thirty

  Maece

  Relieved to be back in my own formfitting black pants, I adjusted the belt. I stared at my reflection in the mirror on top of my dresser for a while as my gaze remained fixed on the black and gray ink that dawned across my dark skin. The sleeveless shirt revealed the intricate drawing of feathers neatly packed together to form the wings that started at the base of my neck to run down my arms and, from what I remember, down my back.

  The depicted wings of a protector, or, as Reece liked to call it, an angel, were chosen by the others as my own personal tattoo. We all had these markings chosen by the others to remind us what we meant to them. Some protector I had turned out to be.