Midnight in Brussels

by Rebecca Randolph Buckley

  “Your mother will come with you to take care of the girls?”

  “Yes, of course. We’ve been looking for a place already.”

  Amanda reached over and hugged him. “This is good news.”

  “I’ve already given notice at the restaurant and to the landlord. I’ll miss you, Mandy.” His smile was gone as he glanced at her and then back to the street before him. “But I hope you will visit us, and we can take the girls on outings. They love you, Mandy.”

  He wished it was different. He fell for Amanda the first day they met, but he was wise enough to know from past experience he couldn’t make someone love him. He had to get on with his life, same as she. When he realized she didn’t feel as he did, he made his decision. He admired her and her strength and tenacity. Now he wanted to go for what he wanted most, and that was to finish school and become a history professor. He had his girls to think of and his own career. He didn’t want to be a waiter for the rest of his life.

  “I believe you’re doing the right thing, Antoine. For you and for the girls.” Amanda heard the words that tumbled from her mouth. She wondered at what point she had gained such sureness and wisdom. It wasn’t so very long ago when her self-confidence had been non-existent, when she had felt as if she was worthless … couldn’t do or say anything right, was shy and afraid of people, afraid of everything.

  They rounded the corner to their street and Antoine pulled up in front of the stone apartment building. Workers were on scaffolding all the way up to the fourth floor.

  “What are they doing?”

  “The owner is renovating. New everything … plumbing, electrical wiring, painting. I’m probably getting out just in time before he raises the rent.”

  They both laughed as they opened their car doors. Antoine carried Amanda’s luggage to the entrance.

  “I can take it from here; you go ahead and park the car. And thank you so much, Antoine. Let’s talk later after I unpack and get settled. I want to hear all about your plans.”

  Chapter 37

  Winter was upon them and the cold weather had arrived in Bruges. Although it wasn’t freezing, most days wouldn’t get below 40° and November wasn’t as cold as it would get, Amanda was already feeling the chill. She was told that the most rain fell in November. It was the wettest month of the year. Then the snow would come after that – December and January. January was the coldest.

  Weather was never an issue with Amanda. She loved it in Bruges no matter what the weather produced. She was indoors most of the time anyway, making lace and attaching it to fabric. She’d bought top-of-the-line sewing machines and other equipment with the money Richard had slipped in her bag, and had quite a modern setup in her sewing room at the flat. She’d never been happier.

  Antoine had already moved to Brussels and she’d already taken the train one Sunday to spend time with the girls and him.

  She was stressed and pressed to have enough ready to open her shop in December. She and Rachel had decided it would be best if they rented a shop in Brussels and could open for business before Christmas, taking advantage of the holiday season. That is if they could get the licenses and all that was necessary to open on such short notice.

  So Amanda found an existing shop that the designer was vacating on a busy lane leading to the Grand Place. The designer would sublet to Amanda till her lease was up, giving Amanda enough time to get the appropriate licenses after the first of the year. Amanda would sell on the existing designer’s permit and would give her a cut. The shop would be empty the first week of December, so there wasn’t much time left.

  Rachel planned to be there a few days before, would rent a car and an apartment so they could move all the clothing from Bruges to Brussels. Antoine was going to help move the clothing.

  The apartment over the shop wasn’t available, so Rachel had made a few phone calls and found one further down over another. Neither one of them had seen it, but they decided it didn’t matter. It would suffice till they found something else, if Amanda wasn’t happy with it.

  Richard was all set to be at the opening, as well as Drake and Paula and A.G. They all were coming.

  Amanda went through a myriad of feelings; she was thrilled, but frightened, nervous, irritable, and worried. Could she do it? Could she be ready in time? What if her clothing didn’t sell? What if no one liked what she created? What if she failed?

  From morning till night she made jackets, skirts, blouses, dresses, pants, aprons, handkerchiefs, and scarves. Even a few kimonos like the ones she’d seen in other shops.

  The store was tiny, fifteen-by-fifteen, so she was thankful for that. It wouldn’t take much to make it look full. She’d found two standing full-length mirrors, gilded antiques, and the two dressing rooms would be created by hanging curtains across the back corners of the room. The mirrors would stand outside the dressing rooms against the walls. Rachel was shipping framed antique prints of lace makers at work to adorn the walls above the racks of clothing. She’d found them on the Internet.

  Amanda got up from her chair and stretched. She’d been making lace for four hours straight. It was time to take a walk and get a bite to eat. She missed Antoine being at the Craenenburg. It just wasn’t the same without him, but that was the nearest café and she was starving. She didn’t want to cook for herself.

  She grabbed her purse and left the apartment and headed for the Markt.

  Two hours later Amanda was still sitting at her regular table when she heard loud sirens. People were running outside and looking down the lane that ran alongside the Craenenburg. That was her street. She paid her tab and went outside to see what was happening.

  As she rounded the corner of the Craenenburg, she was horrified to see trucks and ladders in front of her apartment building which was engulfed in smoke and flames.

  “No! Oh God, no!” She ran down the lane but was stopped by the police who had set up a barricade preventing anyone from getting too close.

  She screamed, “I have to get in there, please! I have to get everything out! Let me go! Don’t you understand? It’s all I have in the world!”

  The policeman held her back. “You cannot go, Miss. The building is full of fire. There is nothing you can do. I am sorry, the building is destroyed.”

  PART FOUR

  “Time removes pain and disappointment while you receive a renewed spirit and abundant blessings from the universe. Ask, believe, and it is yours.”

  Rebecca Buckley

  Chapter 38

  It was foggy at the Bakersfield airport. Amanda’s heart flipped as she stepped from the airplane and saw Richard with Paula, Drake and A.G., waving and calling to her. Tears came to her eyes and she couldn’t imagine ever leaving them again.

  It had been determined that the cause of the fire had been faulty wiring by the electricians who had been doing the renovation. Nothing was salvageable from Amanda’s apartment – not the machines, not the mirrors and other décor she’d collected for the shop, not the beautiful garments she’d made.

  Now all she had was Richard. She was too tired to think of anything else. She loved him, she knew she did. She’d loved him all along; she just wasn’t ready for a commitment so soon after being married to Arlie. She’d been caged by Arlie and she fought being caged by another.

  Now all she craved was a protective and secure feeling with a person she knew would always be there for her. One who would never abandon her, one who would stand by her no matter what, one who would take care of her. She believed she would have that with Richard.

  She had her chance in the world; she almost achieved her dream. She almost made it, but she failed. She figured that was more than most people achieved, and it didn’t matter anymore.

  As she stepped from the final rung of the descending steps of the plane, she ran right into the arms of Richard, who was striding quickly toward her on the tarmac. They held on to each other tightly. Yes, she felt safe in his strong arms and didn’t want to ever leave them again. This was where she b
elonged … with Richard.

  Paula tugged at Amanda, “Hey, I want to hug you, too, baby girl. You’ve got Richard for the rest of your life. My turn is now.”

  Amanda and Richard laughed as they stepped back from each other and Amanda wrapped her long arms around her sister.

  “Oh, honey, you’re a sight for sore eyes! You’re gonna be all right now.”

  “I hope so. I hope so.”

  They held on to each other for several moments.

  Finally, Rachel stepped back and said, “Now where’s my baby A.G.?” She squatted down and held out her arms as Drake led the toddler to her. “There he is! Come here to your auntie Am, sweetie!” She swept him up and smothered him with kisses.

  A.G. giggled as he called out “Auntie Am, Auntie Am, Auntie Am,” to his daddy.

  “He can talk? I can’t believe it! He’s too young to do that.”

  “We’re been teaching him, hon,” Drake said. “He’s so smart, you just wait and see what all he can do and say. We’re so happy to have you back home. And Richard has missed you, too. He’s at our house more than he is at his own these days.”

  “That’s right, Amanda,” said Richard. “But now we can plan our wedding. I’m so eager to take you home with me. Here. Here’s your ring. Let me put it on you right now.”

  He offered the ring to Amanda and she lifted the appropriate hand and finger to once again accept the commitment. It was on her finger to stay this time.

  Tears filled her eyes as she gazed at the beautiful diamond while memories of Bruges, the cobbled streets, lacemaking, her shop, Antoine and the girls, the waterways, and the cafes flooded her mind. She felt a loneliness she couldn’t explain. She wiped her eyes quickly, hoping no one would notice.

  “My darling, you needn’t cry, you’re home safe and sound, now. Come here.” Richard pulled her to him once again, lifted her chin with his thumb and kissed her on the lips, soft and long.

  She didn’t resist the kiss. Here it was. Here was her Prince Charming. Yes, Richard was the one. Here was where she belonged. She had to put Belgium behind her. That part of her life was over. She and Richard would have a wonderful life together. Everybody was happy.

  Paula was more perky and excited than ever. “Let’s go to the house and have us a big party!” she said as she scooped up baby A.G.

  .

  Chapter 39

  Christmastime turned out to be bittersweet for Amanda. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Christmas in Brussels. Antoine had emailed and told her how festive the Grand Place was; how it was filled with decorations and Christmas lights, and how he hoped she was happy. He said the girls sent their love. He told her about school and that he would get his undergraduate degree in the spring.

  It was good to hear from him, although it made her want to be there. She thought she had put all that behind her, but she just couldn’t shake the thoughts of Belgium. She missed it. Now she was sorry she hadn’t gone to Ghent and Antwerp and all the other outlying towns. She’d spent all her time in Bruges as it turned out, other than when she visited Rachel and then Antoine in Brussels. But all that didn’t matter now, it was over. Maybe someday she and Richard could go back there for a visit. He said they would.

  “Amanda, where are you?” Paula had just returned from town. “I need some help with the groceries.”

  “I’ll be right there!” Amanda called out to her. Her bedroom and bath were off the family room. It was a huge guestroom with a panoramic view of the Kern River.

  It took them nearly thirty minutes to unload the SUV and put away all the food and staples.

  “I got us some sorbet, girl. Let’s eat some right now, before A.G. wakes up.” She set the container on the counter in front of Amanda.

  Laughing, Amanda opened it and began scooping it into two dishes. “So when will Drake be home, did he say when you talked to him this morning?”

  “Oh, in a couple days. You know how he is. He doesn’t like to commit to a certain time and day. I think sometimes he likes to keep me guessin’ so he can catch me doing something I shouldn’t be doing.” Paula sat at the kitchen bar and took a bite of the sorbet.

  “Ha! And what would that be, pray tell?”

  Paula shrugged. “Well, maybe I might get me a lover or something.”

  “You with a lover? I doubt that very much.”

  “Why would you doubt that?”

  “Are you pulling my leg, Paula? You wouldn’t do that. You love Drake.” Lemon sorbet was Amanda’s favorite and she was enjoying it, savoring the tartness.

  “Well, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little something on the side, does it?”

  “Oh, Paula, stop it! I know you don’t mean it.”

  Paula giggled. “No you don’t. I just might want somebody younger. A toy boy, like on that cougar reality TV show.” With a napkin she dabbed the sorbet that had dripped on her chin.

  Amanda laughed. “Now that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

  “Well, I might one of these days. You never know. Drake might get too old for me.”

  “Let’s not talk about old. I mean, Richard is twenty-two years older than me. If anyone gets a toy boy, it should be me.”

  They both broke out laughing and couldn’t stop.

  “Have you and Richard done the deed, yet?”

  “Paula! No, we haven’t done the deed. And we’re not going to till we’re married.”

  “You’re kidding me. You aren’t going to get fitted for the saddle before you take it home?”

  “For heaven’s sake, no!”

  “My, my, my … aren’t we the old-fashioned one. It’s not like you haven’t done it before, Amanda. Why can’t you do it with Richard?”

  Amanda rose from the bar stool and rinsed her dish under the faucet. She’d been asking herself that same question. She didn’t know why she couldn’t make love with Richard. He wanted to, they talked about it, but she couldn’t. “I’d rather not talk about it right now, if you don’t mind.” She thought of Adrian’s lovemaking and how it had awakened something in her. She wasn’t dreading it anymore.

  “I bet I know what’s wrong. You’re scared. You ain’t had nobody but Arlie, and I bet he wasn’t the best in the sack. Hon, don’t judge everybody else by Arlie. He seems like he’d be the most boring lay ever.”

  “Paula!”

  “I mean it. I bet he was, wasn’t he? Tell me, I’ll tell you about Drake.”

  “I don’t want to hear about Drake and you making love, Paula. How could you even think about telling me. That’s too personal. All I know is that I didn’t like it with Arlie. Let’s change the subject. So when should we wrap the Christmas presents?”

  Paula grinned. “Tonight after A.G. goes to sleep. We can hide them all in the sewing room. It’s too bad Richard can’t be here for Christmas.”

  “He had to go to Montana, something about cows.”

  Chapter 40

  Paul knocked on Rachel’s cottage door. He hadn’t seen or heard from her in a week and he was worried. It was a stormy day in Newlyn on the afternoon of New Year’s Eve.

  “Rachel, it’s Paul.”

  She opened the door and stood there in her robe, no makeup, her hair unkempt like it hadn’t been combed for several days. “I’m not feeling well, Paul.”

  He caught her as her eyes rolled back into her head and she fainted. “Oh no! Rachel, darling?”

  He didn’t mean to say ‘darling,’ it just rolled off his tongue, although he knew it was okay to call other women ‘darling.’ He knew Belinda wouldn’t mind him saying that to Rachel. So why was he so self-conscious about it? Nevertheless, he was glad Rachel hadn’t heard it.

  After he placed her on the sofa, he ran to the bathroom and moistened a towel to put on her forehead. He was patting her cheeks with it when she opened her eyes.

  “What happened?” she said as she sat up, removing the towel from her face.

  “You answered the door and passed out.”

&
nbsp; “Yikes! I’m so sorry. I’m just a little weak, have the flu.”

  He frowned. “Are you sure it’s the flu, Rachel? You’ve been having the flu a lot in the past few weeks. Maybe you should get a thorough checkup.”

  “No, it’s just that my system has had a shock and I’m still getting over it, Paul. That’s all it is. You have enough to worry about. Don’t worry about me.”

  “I can’t help it; I couldn’t take it if both my girls—” He stared tearfully into Rachel’s face for a moment and then covered his own face with his hands and wept.

  “Oh, my darling, Paul.” She stood and bent over him from behind as he sat on the footstool, wrapping her arms around him, resting her chin on his head. “You have way too much to bear. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You just concentrate on Belinda, and you have to believe she’s going to recover. You know that, don’t you?”

  He took hold of Rachel’s arms and pulled her around in front of him. He stood up and held her tightly to him. “Rachel … Rachel … Rachel … ”

  They held on to each other, feeling each other’s pain for what seemed like minutes, but was really only seconds. Finally Rachel loosened her grip and so did he. There was a moment of awkwardness, and then they were back to normal.

  “I’ll fix some tea. You just sit over there and relax. I want to tell you my new plans, okay?” She went into the kitchen.

  Paul took a deep breath, sighed, and sat down on the sofa. “This is New Year’s Eve, you know.”

  Rachel appeared in the kitchen doorway, holding the tea kettle. “And five years ago to the day, we met.” She threw him a kiss.

  He laughed as she returned to the tea-making, remembering their first New Year’s and all that had followed since. How he and Belinda got together: his heart attack, her rape, the move to Cornwall …