He pulled away slowly breaking our kiss, his hands dropping to his sides as he stared at me. He blew out a breath, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe what we had just done.
A mischievous grin spread across my swollen mouth and I reached up and pressed my lips to his cheek just as he took a step backward. I knew he’d retreat once the moment had ended between us but I didn’t get discouraged. He could hide his feelings, try to bury them all he wanted, but he’d give in eventually. I took a step back and smiled at him.
“See you around, Bianci,” I said, before turning on my heel and walking away from him. I crossed the street making my way back to my friends who were staring with their mouths open, knowing all the while that I had Anthony’s undivided attention.
Chapter Seven
2013
I was sweating from head to toe, adrenaline coursing through my veins, the gloves on my hands tight as I hit the heavy bag. My fist moving through the air connecting with the leather bag, the chain it was suspended from spinning around in circles from the impact.
One-two, one-two, double jab, come back with a two.
I had been home five days and by the third day of sitting alone in my apartment weighing my options, I decided I needed an outlet for my frustrations. I started going to the boxing gym on 86th Street and have been spending the majority of my days here. The men stare at me as if I’m some kind of God, the woman like I’m the star of their wet dreams. I ignore them all. I’m here for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to push the naïve thoughts of a normal life out of my fucking head. If I was ten years younger I’d be fucking my way out of the hell I have created for myself but that’s not an option so I fight my way out instead. You would think three years with my hand would make me desperate for some pussy but I wouldn’t be sated with just any pussy, it had to be hers. Like I said, not an option.
Hook, cross, step to the right, double jab, cross.
“Jesus Christ, Bianci what the fuck did the bag do to you?” I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. I cringed at the sound of Jimmy Gold’s voice, my shoulders slumped, and I lost my stance. I knew all along that it would only be a matter of time before Victor sent one of the guys for me. The days of dreaming of a good life were about to be cut short as reality crept into my life. I suppose I should’ve been grateful for the five days I was allowed to believe I could escape Victor’s wrath.
I drop my hands to my side, taking deep breaths in and out, as I turn around to face Lucifer.
“What do you want?” I ground out, swiping my forearm across my brow to wipe away the sweat.
“It’s nice to see you too,” he said, smiling sarcastically as he pulled the toothpick he was chewing on out of his mouth. “You’re a hard man to track down, Bianci.”
“Obviously easy enough if you’re standing in front of me,” I responded, ripping back the Velcro on my gloves, pulling at the first with my teeth before removing its mate with my now ungloved hand. I unraveled the tape from my hands, feeling Jimmy’s intent stare. Once my hands were free, I lift my head, square back my shoulders, and return his stare.
“Let’s get this over with, yeah?” I bark.
Jimmy looked at me for a moment, probably deciding that there was no reason to beat around the bush or play games. He gave me a short nod and I returned the gesture, happy that we avoided all the bullshit. I brushed past him, grabbing my gym bag and shoving my gloves inside before swinging it over my shoulder. The bell chimed over the door as I pushed it open vigorously. Jimmy followed behind and once we were outside, I saw the black Cadillac waiting for me.
Time to strike a deal with the devil.
The ride to my meeting with Vic was filled with complete silence. Jimmy attempted small talk in the beginning but when I shut him down with a stare; he shut the fuck up. As we pulled up to our destination, I cracked my knuckles and loosened my neck, all things I’d do if I were preparing to fuck someone up. I peered out the passenger window at La Bella Café, thinking it was ironic this was the place Vic chose to have this meeting. It was one of his oldest establishments. The place where he gave me my first orders and ultimately the stomping ground to where I became a made man in the mob. When I thought about it, I guess it was fitting that La Bella was where this shit between us would all go down.
I walked through the café, ignoring the stares my presence radiated, and walked straight to the back room. This was the room that saw all the action through the years, the room that saw thousands upon thousands change hands, the same room that saw a shitload of bloodshed.
Victor lifted his head the moment I stepped through the door, Jimmy closing the door quietly behind me. I remained completely still as I stared at him for a moment, wondering how in the world I had ever looked up to him.
He pushed back his chair and stood to his feet.
“It’s about time son,” he said, offering me his hand. I didn’t even acknowledge the hand he held out; instead, I kept my eyes trained on him. I wanted to punch him in the fucking face for calling me son. I was no one’s son, not the woman who bore me, nor the man who left me and I sure as hell wasn’t this piece of shit’s son.
He pulled back his hand and nodded towards the chair in front of his desk.
“I’ll stand,” I challenged, crossing my arms against my chest.
“Have it your way,” Vic responded, taking his seat again. “I didn’t expect you to make this easy.”
Fuck him.
He reached into his perfectly tailored suit jacket and pulled a large manila envelope that had been folded in half so it would fit inside his pocket. He slid it across his cherry mahogany wooden desk.
“That’s yours,” he said flatly. “Your piece of the pie, while you were away.” He watched as I reached for the envelope and brought it around my waist tucking it into the back of my sweats. There was no second-guessing on my behalf whether I should take the money. I’d take every fucking cent the prick offered me and he’d still never repay me for the three years of my life he robbed from me.
“There are things you should know, deals and such that went down while you were inside,” he tilted his chin towards Jimmy. “Jimmy will fill you in on the details,” he paused, for a moment studying me. “Things didn’t go as we planned with Rogers but I’m learning to make peace with that.”
“You mean things didn’t go the way you planned. I didn’t have much of a say.”
“I stand corrected,” Vic said, flatly. “As I was saying, I could go around eliminating all of my enemies, every gangster that ever thought he could cross me, and I still won’t feel like I’ve done Val justice. The best way to make his death stand for something is to do the one thing that got us into this lifestyle and that is to hustle.” Val loved money more than I did; it was what drove all his ambitions. “The Pastore family will focus on the things that make our wallets fat and trample on the people who stand in the way of that quest,” he continued.
“You’ve done your bid, kept your mouth shut, proved that you’re a trusted soldier.”
What he forgot to add to that sentence was while I proved my loyalty to him I lost my credibility to the people I loved most in this world. That was something I couldn’t get back.
“I don’t think I have to question your loyalty but it’s been brought to my attention you may be feeling a certain way…let’s say bitter.”
“Let’s get something straight Vic, I don’t fucking like you, I fucking despise you. I couldn’t give two fucks if you dropped dead tomorrow. In a perfect world, I am the man who takes your fucking life the same way you’ve taken mine. I took an oath and as much as it pains me to abide by that oath, you are right, I am loyal to the core. That’s not saying there aren’t days when I question my loyalty. I think how easy it would be to put a bullet right between your eyes and end this nightmare once and for all, but then I think about your daughter,” I swallowed hard against the lump that had lodged its way in my throat. “I picture the way she’d look at me knowing I was the man
who killed her father and that look is what stops me,” I blew out a breath. “Go home and kiss your daughter because she’s the only reason you’re still fucking breathing,” I paused, taking a good long look at him. “You took it all man, you took everything from me. My woman, my kid, my fucking soul,” I shook my head. “Like I said, do yourself a favor, and pray to God you never fucking hurt your daughter again, because so help me…I’ll put you in a box old man.” I raised an eyebrow at him wondering how he liked being on the receiving end of the same threat he once delivered to me. “Don’t doubt me Vic; I’m not afraid of being locked away. I’d be fucking happy to rot in a cell for the rest of my life knowing I actually did something to put me behind bars, especially if that something was ending your existence.”
“True to the core,” Victor mumbled.
“Not a phony bone in your body boy; never has been,” he let out a breath. “Takes big balls to talk to a boss like that.”
“Takes big balls to sit in jail for a crime you didn’t commit too.”
“Fair enough,” he said, pushing out his chair before turning around to fix himself a drink.
“You’ve spoken your peace, now it’s time you listen while I speak mine.” He handed me the drink he had poured himself and I accepted it, shooting it back. I slammed the empty glass down on top of his desk, pulling out the chair in front of his desk and taking a seat. I lifted my legs, crossing them and resting them on top of his desk as I leaned back in the chair and waited for him to speak.
Vic took a seat on the edge of his desk, taking the first sip of his drink, mulling over his words.
“It was a good thing you were there for Adrianna and the baby,” he lifted his gaze from his drink and his eyes bore into mine.
“She’s had a rough time.”
“No shit,” I said, angrily.
“She’s a mother now, Anthony. She needs to keep her head clear, focus on her son, what I’m saying is she can’t afford to have history repeat itself.”
“No, what you’re saying is you want me to stay the fuck away from her,” I pulled my legs off his desk, straightened my posture as I leaned into him. “I’m not you, Vic. I wouldn’t let the poison that’s become my life affect her, not anymore. I have no intentions of disrupting Adrianna’s life and as much as I hate that we agree on something, I agree with you I’m the last thing she or Luca need in their lives.”
He nodded, taking another sip of his drink. He didn’t have to speak for me to know that he took my word, my vow, as a binding agreement. I had made it perfectly clear to this man my love for his daughter is what drove me. I wasn’t about to hurt her more than I already had, if that was the case he’d be in the morgue.
“I thought we’d brake you into the rotation slowly, give you a chance to get used to your freedom again. Maryann Valente is having a rough go at it with Michael. I want you to start making routine visits, but I don’t want them to know you’re checking up on them. Just be scarce but I want a full report on each of them every week. I want to know if he’s in trouble, if she’s financially hurting, whatever you can find out I want to know. I couldn’t make the people pay for Val’s death but I can help the people he left behind.”
“Seems to me that’s what you should’ve done all along,” I said, rising to my feet.
“I’ll need addresses.” I started for the door, pulled it open, and turned around to glare back at Vic.
“And I’ll need my gun.”
He looked at Jimmy, who nodded and I had no doubt by the end of the day I’d have my piece back in my hands. I walked out of the office, closing the door behind me as I made my way through the café.
The devil in me was back.
Chapter Eight
2010
I keep picturing her face after the impact of the crash, the stillness of her features, the blood gushing from her temple. I can still hear my own cries ringing in my ears, begging her to wake up. I remember unbuckling her seat belt, debating on whether I should pull her out of the car; in the end, I held her hand and waited for help. I didn’t know the extent of her injuries and didn’t want to risk moving her. If my actions resulted in further issues or complications for her, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
I held her hand in the ambulance as they worked on her, giving her oxygen, and struggling to get her to regain consciousness. It wasn’t until we arrived at the hospital and they wheeled her away from me that I remembered to mention the baby. I felt like the biggest piece of shit but in my defense, all I could focus on was making sure Adrianna survived.
I don’t know who called Victor and Grace, maybe someone at the scene, or a nurse, but once they showed up, I became invisible. I sat alone, begging someone to tell me something, anything. I was just the boyfriend driving the car that put her in the hospital to begin with, so I got nothing.
Nurses came over and tried to bring me into triage, they said I was bleeding, but I didn’t seem to notice. I couldn’t care less. I wasn’t going anywhere without finding out how Adrianna and our kid were doing. Jesus, I thought, realizing that none of this could be good for the baby.
I hadn’t thought much about becoming a father, didn’t think I was cut out to be a dad. I didn’t have a father, didn’t even have a father figure to pretend was my dad. What kind of dad would I make? Let’s not mention the fact I was a fucking criminal, surrounded by criminals and illegal dealings. Then there was the fact I had cut a deal with the devil and was about to be incarcerated. I couldn’t be anybody’s father but here I was praying to God that my kid would make it.
Somewhere between Adrianna telling me we would be having a baby and sitting here in this hospital, I became a man worrying about the wellbeing of his family. A man who didn’t know whether he was coming or going but was never more sure about anything in his life then wanting to meet his child. It was crazy how this unborn child became the second most important person in my life, the first being his mother.
I got lost in my thoughts, trying to picture what our baby would look like, desperate to conjure an image of Adrianna holding him or her. I could picture us having a daughter, God’s way of paying me back for every sin I ever committed. Damn, I bet she’d be the most beautiful little girl I ever laid eyes on. I wouldn’t mind a son either; it would give me the opportunity to teach him all the things my father never taught me. Whatever we have, I just pray it’s healthy, that’s all that matters.
“Anthony…,” Grace whispered, laying her hand on my shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts. I lifted my bloodshot eyes to hers and see she has been crying, but more than that, she looks pained by the words she has to deliver. I glanced over her shoulder at Victor who is standing alongside a doctor, nodding slightly before bowing his head.
I don’t know what I’m about to hear but by the expressions on the faces that surround me I imagine it’s not good. I hunch over and it takes me a minute to realize I’m crying. I don’t remember the last time I shed a single tear. Grace wraps an arm around my shoulders and tries to get me to pay attention to her but I don’t want to hear what she has to say. I try to stall not wanting to listen to the words I dread. I shrug her arm off me and rise to my feet, stumbling a bit, lightheaded, almost as if I’m having an out of body experience.
Grace calls for Victor, probably hoping he could reign me in, the bastard doesn’t have a shot in hell, but he remains where he stands. Her efforts wasted. I watched him shake the doctor’s hand and then look over at me. His face is blank, there is no emotion, no sorrow, nothing.
I finally turn to Grace.
“Adrianna?” I croak.
“She will be okay,” Grace whispered, reaching for my hand.
I swallow as she gives it a squeeze.
“The baby?” I asked hoarsely. It didn’t even dawn on me, she has most likely just found out about Adrianna’s pregnancy.
“I’m sorry Anthony but they couldn’t get a heartbeat,” she murmurs through her tears.
I stare at her for a moment, trying to p
rocess her words.
“They will give her a DNC, it’s a procedure to…,” her words trail off and she shakes her head. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.
I pulled my hand away from hers and glanced between her and Victor. I let out a whimper realizing I lost a child, a child I never knew, a child that never had a chance. Grace tries to reach for me but I walk away and lean against the wall.
I’ll never be able to explain the way I felt in that moment. I can try but nothing I say will come close to the hell I was living. I balled my hands into fists, anger spreading throughout my body like an uncontained fire. I snapped my head backwards, crashing the back of my skull into the wall, trying to divert the pain in my chest to somewhere else in my body. It felt as if my chest was cracking open and someone put my heart in a vice. I slammed my head against the wall again and again…but the pain wasn’t dulling the ache in my heart.
I was standing at the foot of Adrianna’s bed when she stirred. Victor had tried to ban me from being with her when she woke up but I told him I’d do everything he wanted, no questions asked, no arguments - however, I would not allow another to tell Adrianna the news, I would be the one to tell her we had lost our baby. Grace agreed with me and Vic backed off. I wonder if she knows of Vic’s plan for me to go to jail and to commit murder. Which makes me wonder if she knows what kind of animal her husband truly is or what kind of animal I am about to become.
Adrianna’s eyes flutter open and she looks all around frantically. I quickly step to the side of her bed so she can see me, taking her hand in mine. It’s funny I never noticed how big my hand was compared to hers.
“It’s okay Reese’s, I’m here,” I whisper.
“Anthony,” she murmurs and I bend my head to kiss her knuckles.
The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition Page 36
