He nudged me playfully.
“Bones,” he corrected. “Anything for Pea, even if it means giving up my real name,” he joked.
I folded one of the sonogram photos and ripped it off the strip before handing it to him.
“A gift from Pea, to say thank you,” I offered, holding the picture out for him.
He glanced down at the black and white grainy photo before slipping it into the inside pocket of his cut.
“C’mon, I’ll walk you out,” he said.
Of course I took him up on his offer because hanging out with Bones made me feel closer to Riggs. I wanted to say something, give him a message for Riggs that we were still here if he had a change of heart. But I knew that would only break what was left of my heart if he didn’t take me up on the offer.
Stay strong, I reminded myself.
You’ve got this.
It’s his loss.
But each day that passed was another piece of my heart lost to Riggs and the dreams I thought we could make come true.
Dreams.
What a joke.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I had to get out of this apartment. I was going crazy sitting here drinking myself into oblivion, staring at my three white walls and one gray one. I ordered a crib today. A mattress too, and one of those fancy rocking chairs for when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night.
I know.
I’m losing my mind.
I rode my bike to the Dog Pound; even though that was the last place I wanted to be. I found the guys on their way out, headed to some bar in Bay Ridge. I wasn’t much company but it was better than wallowing in my self-created Hell.
The new guys were alright, Stryker was a pool shark, and by the second round he had half the bar lining up to try and beat him in a game. He couldn’t lose, so Cobra made things interesting and started placing bets on his games.
It was obvious Cobra was an earner. There probably wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to make a dollar. Jack was going to love him.
Linc was quiet, more reserved. He sat at the bar, eyes glued to whatever game was on the flat screen. Why was it that women always gravitated to the brooding types? The bar was more or less empty but every girl who stepped up to order a drink made sure they cozied up to Linc. He was a pussy magnet.
Deuce was young and chasing tail, reminding me a lot of the old me. The reckless Riggs who only cared about his bike and his dick.
Blackie pushed a shot of tequila toward me.
“You look like shit,” he muttered.
“Thanks, bro,” I replied sarcastically, wondering if he knew how bad he looked. The two of us made quite the pair, looking like two drunk bums instead of two badass bikers.
I threw back the shot.
“Oh, look, here comes your girlfriend,” Blackie mocked. For a moment I thought he was referencing Lauren. I quickly turned around to see Bones walk through the door, making eye-contact with me as Stryker grabbed his arm and led him to the pool table. I snarled, swiveling around in my chair when my eyes latched onto the unmistakable dark eyes of a girl. I laughed, nudging him as that bitch karma made her presence known.
“Yeah, and there’s yours,” I mused.
He turned in his chair, his eyes following the direction of mine and collided with Lacey’s.
“Goddamn,” he hissed, quickly turning back around.
I waved at Lacey and received a scowl in return.
“She looks pissed, guess her date isn’t doing it for her,” I observed. Blackie ordered another round of shots while glancing over his shoulder at the guy who was getting cozy with Jack’s daughter.
He shook his head before turning back and staring down at his drink.
“Stop looking at her,” he growled.
“Shouldn’t you be saying that to the guy with his tongue in her ear?” I asked incredulously, as I turned around and minded my own business—kind of. “C’mon man, I know you have a death wish and all that, but Jack’s daughter?”
“It’s not like that,” he growled.
“Right and Michael Jackson didn’t think he was Peter-fucking-Pan,” I retorted.
“What?”
I rolled my eyes, about to call him on his shit when Bones came up alongside me and parked his ass on the stool next to mine and ordered a beer.
“Hey,” I greeted, looking at him expectantly. I had called him earlier to ask if he went to the hospital to pay Lauren’s medical bills and he told me he’d meet me here.
“It’s all taken care of,” he stated. “She’s paid in full until next month—I guess when she sees the doctor again,” he added.
I nodded in response.
“I ran into her at the hospital,” he said. I turned, pinning him with a stare. “Relax, she didn’t know why I was there. I told her I got lost,” he stated, shrugging his shoulders. “She seemed to buy it. Anyway, everything’s good with her and the baby, moving along just as they should be,” he informed.
“Good,” I said, turning back to Blackie, stealing the shot he was about to bring to his lips and claiming it as my own. I flinched as the liquid burned my throat. “Thanks for doing that,” I croaked.
He slapped his hand on the bar.
“Go easy on that shit,” he said, lifting his hand and leaving a black and white photograph of Pea.
My Pea.
I reached for the photo, mesmerized by how much he had changed since I last saw him.
“Kid’s got your nose,” he added, before slapping me on the back and strolling out of the bar.
“He does,” I whispered out loud, as I traced my finger over my kid’s nose, the same nose he shared with me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and reached into my pocket, pulling out a couple of bills and dropped them onto the bar. I took Pea’s photo and slipped it into my back pocket.
“I’m getting out of here,” I told Blackie. Without waiting for a reply, I walked out of the bar and climbed onto my bike. I revved my engine and drove aimlessly around the streets of Brooklyn with the image of Pea’s profile fresh in my mind, burning a hole in my heart.
My nose.
Lauren’s lips.
I wasn’t sure about his chin but it was still a handsome chin.
I hope his eyes are just like his mother’s.
I wanted to drive to Lauren’s apartment, I doubt Maria would’ve let me in, but I wanted to see her. I could really use a cuddle right now. I needed Kitten to wrap me in her arms and fill me in on everything I’ve missed. Knowing her, she probably had a scrapbook full of Pea’s pictures. Maybe I would get a chance to feel the baby move. That would be epic.
I didn’t do any of those things; instead I drove my ass to the Red Dragons’ clubhouse and sat across the street from their compound with my hand wrapped around my gun. I thought of a million different ways I could get through those iron gates and twice as many ways I’d kill the motherfucker. I didn’t want them all. I wasn’t greedy like that. I’d just take Wu.
But I knew Bones was right. It was suicide. If the Dragons didn’t kill me for offing their president then Jack would kill me for going against him. Brother or no brother, that shit was wrong.
I resigned, tucking my gun away, deciding Wu and I both got to live another night and peeled away from the curb, making my way to my apartment. Maybe I’d put another coat of paint on the walls, or finish that bottle of whiskey I had been working on. The first thing I’d definitely do when I walked in the door was put Pea’s picture where it belongs…on my refrigerator.
I reached for my keys as I climbed the stairs to my apartment, pulled them and the photo out of my pocket, jingling the keys in my hand as I stared at Pea.
I was still shocked that me and Lauren made a kid.
I reached the landing and turned my head when I heard footsteps, stopping in my tracks as my eyes met Lauren’s briefly before they dropped and zeroed in on her protruding stomach.
My God.
She’d gotten so much bigger since the last time I
saw her.
There was no question that she was pregnant, that round belly said it all. The club always talks about branding their women, making their women their property, they give them their colors and stamp them as their old lady.
I made Lauren my property, claimed her as mine, the sweetest way imaginable the night I put Pea inside her. That bump was her brand and it made her mine forever.
I lifted my eyes back to her face, noticing her cheeks reddening ever so slightly. I moved around her to open the door. Silently, she stepped inside and I followed her, closing the door behind me.
She stared at me for a moment before looking down at the photo I clutched in my hands.
“Funny thing happened today,” she started, taking the picture out of my hand and walking into the kitchen. She pulled a magnet from the side of the fridge and placed Pea’s photo front and center on the refrigerator door before she turned around and looked back at me.
“Actually, a couple of things happened today. I went to my doctor’s appointment and guess who was there?” she asked, walking closer. “Bones. Picture that. He said he was lost and I believed him. You’ve made it clear that you guys aren’t really the brightest bulbs,” she said, her lip curling slightly. “Anyway, after my appointment he walked me to my car and took off but I forgot that I didn’t make my payment with the doctor.”
I should’ve turned around and ignored her but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
“Are you ready for the funny thing? I went to make a payment and the receptionist told me that the man I was with came in a little before me and paid my balance in full.”
“That Bones, he’s a good guy,” I said hoarsely.
“Yeah, he is,” she agreed. “Some might say his friend is too,” she added, crossing her arms under her chest. “Why did you pay my doctor’s bill, Riggs?”
“It’s not a big deal, Lauren,” I argued.
Fiery blue eyes pierced me as she stalked toward me, closing the distance between us and shoving the palm of her hand against my chest.
“It’s a big deal to me! So is watching you walk up the stairs holding our baby’s picture in your hand. It’s huge for a woman who thinks she’s all alone and the only one who wants this baby.”
“What do you want me to say? You want the truth? It’s not going to change anything. It’s not going to make all the bad shit disappear, Lauren.”
“For once can we just stop talking about the club and all the bad things that can happen? I’m so sick and tired of letting that patch dictate our life,” she reached out and placed her palm against my chest.
“Just tell me what’s in here. Please,” she whispered. “It’s just us, just the three of us, give me this Riggs. I promise I won’t hold you to anything. I just need to hear it. I need to know that it all wasn’t lies.”
“The three of us,” I repeated hoarsely, laying my hand over hers. “Let me look at you, Lauren,” I said, as I took a step back and let my eyes travel the length of her, taking in all her changes, all her beauty.
“You’re so goddamn pretty,” I said, lifting my eyes back to hers. “Pea has your mouth,” I whispered.
“And your nose,” she replied.
I stepped closer to her, mindlessly taking her face in the palms of my hand and bent my knees so we were eye level.
“Thank you,” I said sincerely.
“For what?” she replied breathless.
“For being a great mom to Pea. You’re doing a great job, Kitten,” I whispered, as I touched my forehead to hers.
“I miss you,” she blurted. “I know you love Pea, Riggs,” she insisted.
Love?
The word wasn’t close enough to what I was feeling.
“For the first time in my life, I’ve got people that depend on me, and not just for support but for protection. Lauren, I can’t deal with that pressure. If something ever happens to you or the baby because of me—”
“Nothing’s going to happen,” she interrupted, placing her hands around my wrists. “Riggs, we’re okay, we just want you.
The last words she spoke were the ones that broke me; split me in two. I picked the man who loved Kitten and Pea, the man who wanted the family over the monster who sought vengeance. I covered her mouth with mine, giving us both what we wanted and damning everything else to Hell. She tasted like all the good things you wish for but don’t think you’ll ever have.
Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer, her belly pressing against me as she struggled to get us as close as possible. I pulled my lips from hers, letting my tongue taste her lips one last time before I lifted her into my arms.
“What’re you doing?” she whispered, as I cradled her, carrying her to our bedroom.
“Proving to you nothing was a lie.”
It was the only truth I knew.
I followed my heart to Riggs’ doorstep, knowing I’d probably lose it—but if there was the slightest chance I could get him to admit the truth, then it would be worth it.
Wouldn’t it?
He set me down on the foot of the bed and kneeled before me, spreading my legs apart as he moved between them and ran his hands up my thighs.
“Let me see you, Kitten,” he said, for the second time since I came here. I looked into his eyes and saw the desperation reflected in them and knew I’d never be able to deny him. Aside from that, I wanted this just as much as he did, if not more. I hated being alone, I hated not having him. I didn’t only miss him emotionally, but physically too. I craved his touch, his comfort, his existence.
There was no sexy way to undress for him. I lifted my maternity shirt over my belly, revealing the blue stretchy material of my jeans that covered my bump before I finally pulled it over my head. He stared at my breasts that were straining against my lace bra. I was a whole cup size bigger than the last time he saw me like this. He licked his lips, slowly, tantalizingly before reaching down and cupping his dick.
Clearly, he enjoyed the change.
And that gave me the confidence I needed.
I slipped my fingers beneath the stretchy fabric of my pants and lowered the band, exposing my belly. I lifted my hips and pulled the pants down to my thighs, knowing it would get awkward and I’d have to lift my leg to get the pants off.
Riggs laid his hands over mine and stopped me from going any further.
“Can I?”
I nodded thinking he was asking to finish removing my pants but he lifted his hands off of mine and splayed them across my belly.
“Oh, wow,” he whispered, lifting his eyes to mine. I was taken aback by the emotion conveyed in his eyes, something I thought Riggs was immune to.
Then he broke my heart.
Or maybe he picked up the pieces.
I couldn’t be sure.
But when he pressed his lips to my belly, my heart ached for the time he missed and the time he still might.
Please choose us, I pleaded.
A message from my heart to yours.
I reached behind me and unclasped my bra, letting my breasts fall from their confinements of the lace, giving him another piece of myself. He reached up and cupped the back of my neck, pulling me closer and pressing his lips against mine.
“You’re beautiful, Kitten. So fucking beautiful,” he whispered against my mouth.
His mouth left mine as he took my shoes off and maneuvered my pants down my legs. I tucked my thumbs into the waistband of my underwear but he pushed my hands away and brought the silk down my legs.
“Lie down, let me look at you,” he said huskily.
I was completely nude, everything on display for him to see and still he asked me for permission to see it all, to take everything in, all the changes in my body. This moment we were sharing, the truth…we’d always be Kitten and Tiger.
“Aren’t you a little over dressed?” I rasped, leaning back on my elbows. “Take your clothes off, Riggs. I want to feel you.”
I wanted him pressed against me, skin to skin, chest to chest, o
ne broken heart beating against another.
He reached behind him, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it to the floor before he unzipped his jeans and dragged them down his legs. I let my eyes greedily travel the length of him, taking every inch of him in.
I missed him so much.
I inched back on the bed until my head rested on the pillows. His hard, thick, cock stood between his legs as one knee dipped into the mattress and then the other. He ran his hands, ever so slowly, up my calves, then the inside of my thighs, finally spreading me wide for him to enjoy.
I bit down on my lower lip, watching as he touched and spread me—loving the feel of his hands on me. He positioned himself between my legs, his face merely inches from my pussy.
“This is mine, been too long since I staked my claim,” he hissed, before his mouth went to work. I closed my eyes as my head sank into the pillow and his tongue sank inside of me.
I should’ve put up more of a fight, demanded his cock and not his mouth, but Riggs’ mouth was magic and pregnancy had made me a hormonal, sex crazed lunatic. I’d take whatever I could get.
Quite preferably his mouth more than once and then his cock. Actually, I wasn’t picky. He could use his mouth now, fuck me and then eat me again. I’d be perfectly okay with that as long as I got my trifecta of orgasms.
And I most definitely did.
We made up for lost time, reacquainting ourselves with one another’s bodies. I thought I would have been more self-conscious over my body and the changes; the wider hips, the curves that weren’t there the last time and the six pounds I gained on my ass alone. Riggs looked at me and loved me all night like I was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on.
I never wanted the night to end, too afraid of what tomorrow would bring. Eventually I fell asleep in his arms with his hands resting on my belly.
Just the three of us.
Chapter Thirty-Three
We didn’t stop until the early morning, when both our bodies were spent. Even after all that, I still couldn’t get enough of her or satisfy my need to hold her. She was fast asleep when I pulled her into the crook of my arm, resting her head against my chest. Her stomach wouldn’t allow her to completely rest on me, so she lay on her side—that perfect belly tucked against my side.
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