Waking Up Gray

by R. E. Bradshaw

  “How cold is that water, Jaye? How long can she swim?” Lizbeth asked, peering over the water.

  Jaye answered with an islander’s certainty. “Sound water’s usually about the same as the air temperature, so it’s close to seventy in the shallow places, gets colder out deep. Gray can swim in, if she’s smart.”

  Lizbeth argued, “But she’s at least ten miles out. I heard what those men in the yard were saying. They said if she was in the deep water, then she was at least that far and she’s drunk.”

  Jaye tried to reassure Lizbeth. “I guarantee you when that boat started sinking she sobered up pretty damn quick. If she keeps moving, the alcohol will burn off, anyway.”

  “I just hope she can keep moving. Did you hear Cora Mae say they had taken all the lifejackets off the boat to clean them this afternoon, so she doesn’t even have one.”

  Jaye sniffed the air, observing, “Wind’s pushing against her, but it’s not strong. She can swim from sandbar to sandbar. She can wait a while between swimming. Water’s flat so she should be able to see the beacon from the lighthouse even if she’s swimming.”

  “If anything happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself. This is my fault.”

  Lizbeth started to cry for the first time since she knew Gray was in trouble. She had not let herself cry in front of Fanny. Fanny had enough to worry about. Fanny was strong and showed faith that all would be well and they’d all have a good laugh over it later, but Lizbeth knew Fanny was desperately worried for Gray.

  Jaye continued to impress Lizbeth with her insight. “I don’t ‘magine it was you that told her to get on that boat like a damn fool, drunk. From what I gathered, you weren’t even on the island at the time.”

  “How do you know where I was?”

  Jaye laughed. “Well, after the scene down at the docks this morning, I kinda figured it out.”

  Lizbeth’s brow creased in question. “What scene?”

  Jaye started laughing harder, and her words were interrupted repeatedly by all out guffaws, as she relayed the story of what happened after Gray found out she was gone.

  “Gray got hauled in this morning around seven and she was pissed. She stormed down the dock telling anyone that would listen that she was going to find out who stole the gas and kick some ass. She did pull back on that when she found out it was Billy, and he meant to put it back this morning when the store opened. He didn’t know she was going out again. She didn’t kill him, but she made his ass sorry, that’s for sure.”

  “So all this started because some guy named Billy borrowed her gas.” Lizbeth was shaking her head at all the little things that had brought them to this moment. Gray might have been in time to stop Lizbeth from going to Durham, if she had not run out of gas.

  Jaye continued, “I overheard Gray tell that pretty blond lady that this was all her fault and that you had left because of her. Gray told her to get the fuck off the island, right there in front of the Community Store.”

  “Yeah, the pretty blonde told me that part.”

  “So, you met her. Is that the one?” Jaye asked.

  “Yeah, Jaye, she was the one, but it’s over, for good. Now, if Gray will just come out of that water, we can go on with our lives.”

  Jaye threw an arm around Lizbeth’s shoulder. “She’ll be back. Little bit of water won’t stop Gray. If she knew you were on the island again, she’d be here already.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  Jaye smiled. “I’ve watched Gray real close. I think I know her pretty well and she is head over heels in love with you. She’s probably out there swimming in, thinking about you, and what she’s going to say to you if she gets the chance.”

  “I know what I’m going to say to her, if I get the chance,” Lizbeth said. “She’s not to take anymore nighttime boat rides with other women. It leads to trouble.”

  Jaye snickered. “You got that right.”

  #

  Lizbeth woke up on Fanny’s parlor couch, with an afghan tossed over her by someone in the night. She had waited until the wee hours of the morning before shutting her eyes against the sheer exhaustion of not knowing. The sun was just coming up and Lizbeth could hear hushed speech in the back of the house. The radio was gone from the mantel, moved into the kitchen, where Lizbeth could hear an occasional crackle of voices from the searchers.

  There was still no word from the rescue party. Lizbeth stood and stretched the sore muscles in her neck back into place. She had fallen asleep awkwardly positioned and her body was fighting back with pain. Lizbeth tiptoed to the bathroom in the hall. She relieved her screaming bladder and then stood washing her hands in the sink. She caught her reflection in the mirror. Dark circles from lack of sleep and worry had formed under her eyes. Lizbeth took a shuddering breath and then sat down on the edge of the tub.

  Gray had been missing for more than nine hours now. The Coast Guard helicopters had located an oil slick and debris field where they believed the Fanny Gray went down, approximately ten miles off the coast. There was no sign of Gray. The grids had tightened and the search was underway still, with more Coast Guard resources now engaged. They hoped that at daylight they would be able to spot her. Lizbeth couldn’t let herself lose hope. It was the only thing keeping her from going over the edge.

  In the bleakest of times, even the most staunchly anti-religious person will seek a higher power. Lizbeth realized she could not do this alone. She needed a hand this time. Lizbeth wasn’t an extremely religious person, but she believed in God. She knew she was at the end of her rope. She slipped off the edge of the bathtub and dropped to her knees, folded her hands and prayed.

  A soft tap on the door startled her. Fanny’s voice came through the door. “Lizbeth, are you all right?”

  Lizbeth stood and opened the door. She managed a weak smile for Fanny, whose own anxiousness shrouded her face. “I’m fine Miss Fanny.”

  “Come on, let’s feed you.” It was just like Fanny to be more worried about Lizbeth than herself.

  Lizbeth followed Fanny to the kitchen, where to her surprise they were alone. “Where did everybody go?”

  Fanny bustled around cracking eggs and placing bacon on the griddle. “I sent them to the porch for a while. Give me some time to collect my thoughts.”

  “You and Gray have a lot of friends.”

  Fanny dropped an egg in the frying pan, where it sizzled. “Kin to most of ‘em, but we’re all like family here. What happens to one affects us all.”

  “Fanny, Gray’s still out there. I can feel her. I know she’s trying to get back to us.”

  “You hang on to that feeling. I believe Gray’s out there, too. Gray’s got too much life in her to go down without a fight.”

  Lizbeth laughed under her breath. “When I do get my hands on her we’re going to have a talk about going off drunk and half cocked.”

  Fanny chuckled. “Get in line. I’m gonna beat her within an inch of her life with a boat paddle, after I hug the tar out of her.”

  Lizbeth nibbled on the edge of the toast Fanny sat in front of her while she waited on the eggs. “You know, that Sound is shallow. She could swim up on a sandbar out there real easy.”

  Fanny looked back over her shoulder at Lizbeth from her duties at the frying pan. “How’d you go to know so much about that Sound?”

  “I looked up nautical charts on Gray’s laptop in her room. She said Howard’s Reef and I figure she could have made it there and just be sitting in the shallow water waiting to be picked up.”

  Fanny turned back to the eggs, but continued talking. “That’s a long swim from where they found the slick, ‘tween seven an’ eight miles, ‘magine it would’ve taken awhile, but God knows as stubborn as that girl is, she will swim that water.”

  “Yes ma’am, I do believe you’re right about that.”

  The cell phone in Lizbeth’s pocket rang. Lizbeth looked at the caller I.D. and saw it was Molly. Evidently, Mazie and Molly had exchanged numbers during Lizbeth’s recent downfa
ll. She answered.

  Before she could get beyond hello, Molly started talking fast. “Lizbeth, oh my God, I just saw it on the news. Are you okay?”

  Lizbeth hadn’t thought about anyone but the people on the island knowing about Gray. “Yes, worried sick, but okay.” Lizbeth glanced at Fanny and took the phone out onto the back deck to finish the call. The sun was just beginning to dawn.

  Lizbeth heard a voice in the background, and then Molly said, “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No, just pray, I guess. We’re just waiting to hear something, anything. You could call Mazie for me. Tell her I’ll call as soon as I know something.”

  “Okay, I’ll do that. Is there anything else?” Molly paused and Lizbeth heard the voice again. “We can be there in a couple of hours if you need us.”

  Lizbeth was worried, but she wasn’t so preoccupied that she couldn’t figure out what was going on. “Molly, when you say we, are you referring to you and Mazie, or the other woman there with you?”

  Molly chuckled. “Yeah, you’re all right. You still have your sense of humor.”

  “I take it dinner went well,” Lizbeth teased.

  “Very well,” Molly said, and Lizbeth could visualize the smile on her face.

  “Then why are you up so early?”

  “I was just getting ready to take Dana to the airport. She has an early flight, but she just called and cancelled it. Said she couldn’t leave till she knew Gray was all right.”

  “Molly, keep her in Durham. Whatever you do, do not let her come down here. When I do get my hands on Gray, Dana is the last thing I want to see or discuss. You keep her busy.”

  Molly laughed loudly. “That, Lizbeth, would be my pleasure.”

  “God, I’m dying out here and you’re getting laid,” Lizbeth said, but she was laughing, too.

  Molly’s tone changed as she said, sincerely, “Lizbeth, I’m praying for you and Gray. She’ll be all right. From what I gather, she’s quite tough. Dana said she’d make it.”

  “And yet, Dana is staying because she’s afraid she won’t,” Lizbeth said, gravely.

  Molly tried to cheer her, whispering so Dana wouldn’t hear, “I’d like to think she used it as an excuse to stay with me just a little longer.”

  Lizbeth smiled into the phone. “One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure, ‘ey Molly?”

  “You just never know, Lizbeth. You just never know.”

  “Well, if you do hook up with her, Ocracoke is off limits. I understand lesbians have a tendency to become lifelong friends with their exes. I’m going to hang onto my heterosexual roots here and say I’m not comfortable with that. Not for awhile anyway.”

  “All right,” Molly said. “I’ll keep her away from Ocracoke. I haven’t spent much time in Texas. I think I’d like to see some of the Wild West.”

  Lizbeth quipped, “Remember the Alamo.”

  “Is that a warning?” Molly asked playfully.

  “Well, I’ve seen her take one woman to her knees, shall you be next? Don’t forget she professed her undying love for Gray just days ago.”

  “Hang on a sec,” Molly said, and Lizbeth could tell that she was on the move. She heard a door close, and when Molly started talking Lizbeth could tell she had gone in a smaller room, probably the bathroom. Molly asked, “Lizbeth?”

  Lizbeth answered, “I’m here.”

  “Hey, does this Dana thing really bother you?”

  Lizbeth took a second to answer. She had to search her soul. If Gray was really done with Dana, then it shouldn’t matter to Lizbeth what Dana did or with whom she did it. “Molly, Dana isn’t my problem anymore. I believe Gray is finished with her. My concern is with you. Be careful. ‘Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.’”

  “You know your Plato,” Molly said, adding, “I’m a big girl, Lizbeth. I see it for what it is and frankly, it doesn’t bother me. Women attach too much meaning to sex. It doesn’t always have to be about love. It could just be a mutual sexual attraction. I think I’ve been through enough women to tell the difference.”

  Lizbeth sighed. “Oh my God, you are just like Gray. Dana is going to fall in love with you and I’m going to have to learn to live with it. I see it coming.”

  Molly laughed. “Let’s hope not. I’m not looking for a relationship. The last one wasn’t a pleasant experience.”

  “I’m so sorry I never talked to you about any of that. I knew when Ann wasn’t around anymore, but I just never asked you why.”

  “Long story,” Molly answered, quietly. “We’ll talk about it sometime. Just don’t worry about me. I can handle Miss Fox.”

  Lizbeth got it. “You’d know already if she was the one, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yep. Pretty much like you knew with Gray. I don’t get that connection here, but the sex is great and I’ve had a dry spell, so forgive me my indulgence.”

  Lizbeth laughed. “Okay, indulge away. Have a good time. I’ll call you when I know something. And thanks again, Molly. I love you.”

  They exchanged goodbyes and Lizbeth went back in the kitchen, where Fanny had filled their plates and was waiting. Lizbeth pulled her chair out and sat down.

  “That was Molly, the friend that arranged for the jet. She saw the story on the news.”

  “Technology sure has made this a small world,” Fanny commented.

  Lizbeth added, “And yet they can’t find a woman swimming in the water less than ten miles from here.”

  Fanny said grace and then they proceeded to eat in silence. The marine radio squawked out positions. One search block after another was checked off. The sun had completely risen and the sky was bright and clear when they finished breakfast and stepped out on the porch. Fanny made Lizbeth leave the dishes in the sink, because that was Gray’s job and she would be home to do them. Lizbeth understood. Fanny had to hang on to what was normal for now. If she swayed in her belief, Gray could perish. Gray was the only thing Fanny had left. She’d buried everybody else. She’d outlived her entire family, except for Gray. Fanny was a strong woman and Lizbeth benefitted from that strength.

  An old man Lizbeth recognized from the Community Store stepped up to Fanny on the porch. “Daylight now, Fanny. Slick ca’m out there.” Slick ca’m meant the surface of the water was smooth. “Ought to find her anytime, now.”

  At least that is what Lizbeth thought he said. His brogue was so thick he was hard to understand. Any other time, Lizbeth would have been fascinated, but she couldn’t listen for sounds, she wanted information. She remembered the marine radio and went to move it back into the parlor, so they could monitor it from the porch. Just as she plugged it in, a voice rang out over the air.

  “Coast Guard rescue vessel in the area. Coast Guard rescue vessel in the area. I am vessel to your right, the blue one, see me, over?”

  “This is Coast Guard rescue vessel. We see you.”

  “I see something floating in the water, off my starboard bow, about a hundred yards, over?”

  People started pouring into the house, Fanny in the lead. Lizbeth was still holding the radio, squatted down by the plug she had just placed in the wall. Her hand was still on the plug. Lizbeth held her breath.

  “This is Coast Guard rescue vessel. Roger. We see it, blue vessel. Will investigate.”

  A hand touched Lizbeth’s shoulder and helped her to her feet. It was Jaye. She took the radio and placed it on the mantle, while Lizbeth fell up against Fanny. She wrapped her arms around Fanny’s waist. Fanny hugged Lizbeth to her. No one made a sound as they waited.

  The time ticked by in slow motion. Lizbeth could hear Fanny’s heart beating as her head lay against Fanny’s shoulder. She could hear breathing around her, all ears trained on the white noise coming from the black box with the flashing red lights.

  A crackle was followed by, “Hey, Will, what they pullin’ out over there?”

  Another crackle. “Stay
off the air, jackass. Family’s listening.”

  The radio went silent again. The warning to stay off the air had made Lizbeth more afraid. Fanny had tightened her grip on Lizbeth at those words. The radio came to life again.

  “U. S. Coast Guard Comm Stat Ocracoke, this is rescue vessel niner five, over?”

  “This is Comm Stat Ocracoke. Roger rescue vessel niner five, over?”

  “Comm Stat Ocracoke, we have located a floating object. Launch is in the water. Approaching object now, over?”

  “Roger that, rescue vessel. Comm Stat Ocracoke standing by.”

  The way they referred to the thing in the water as an object made Lizbeth’s skin crawl.

  “Uh, Comm Stat Ocracoke, rescue vessel niner-five. Object appears to be a windbreaker or jacket, possibly yellow. Do we know what the survivor was wearing, over?”

  Lizbeth looked up at Fanny. Fanny nodded her head, acknowledging that it was Gray’s.

  “Comm Stat Ocracoke to rescue vessel, that is a negative, no clothing description. Will check with the family and get back to you, over?”

  “Roger, Comm Stat Ocracoke, recue vessel niner-five standing by.”

  One of the men flipped open a phone and hit a speed dial number. He said into the receiver, “Chuck, go in there and tell them boys, that yellow windbreaker is Gray’s… Thank you, bud.” He flipped the phone shut.

  A few minutes later the radio relayed the news to the rescue vessel that they had indeed found Gray’s windbreaker. After a period of no more news, the crowded parlor began to empty back outside. Neither Fanny nor Lizbeth would leave. They sat together on the couch holding hands, listening. The rescue team had to be close now. If Gray was alive, she had to hear them looking for her.

  The radio once again began to chatter about an hour later. Lizbeth and Fanny had not moved. Jaye brought them iced tea, but neither woman drank it. It sat on the coffee table in front of them. Lizbeth was caught up in watching the condensation drops slide down the glass and onto the coaster, when the radio came to life.

  “U. S. Coast Guard rescue vessel niner-five. This is rescue helo one. Do you copy, over?”