The Unexpected Choice
Page 4
"No, Stace… it's coming out all wrong. This isn't how I planned it." He ran his palm down his face and sighed.
"Planned what?" He’d planned this?
He scooted the chair out of the way and took her hands in his. "Stacey, I think we've got something special going, and I have something important to ask you."
Stacey cocked an eyebrow. Then Joey went down on one knee. "No, get up." She tugged in vain to urge him to stand.
"Stacey Ingram, will you marry me?"
She knew her eyes were round and horrified. And they got bigger when Joey pulled out a black velvet box. Surely her eyes were fooling her. This couldn't be real. She was standing in front of him dressed in her duct-taped glasses, pajama pants, and T-shirt. The ring, which looked to be at least a solid one-carat diamond, belonged on a queen's finger, not hers.
"Get up, Joey. This is ridiculous."
"I asked you a question," he said, his tone flat.
"The answer is no."
With a snap, he closed the velvet box and stood up. "I won't stop asking."
"I won't stop saying no."
He sauntered to the front door and looked over his shoulder at her. "Yes, you will."
****
One day soon, Stacey was going to wake up and the life she was living would be nothing more than just a horrible nightmare. Papa would be in his den, watching old reruns of M.A.S.H. and smoking his pipe.
Stacey hadn’t seen a single wink of sleep last night, thinking about Joey and his proposal. Had it really happened? The bills still scattered on the table told her it had, indeed, taken place. But why?
There was definitely more to this than Stacey understood. Since it was Saturday, and Joey’s car was parked across the street, she called him and asked him to come over. For sanity’s sake, she had to get to the bottom of this. When he bounded up the steps less than five minutes later with an ear-to-ear grin on his face, her heart sank.
“Change your mind already?” He leaned in to kiss her, his eyes hot, but Stacey placed her hand over his puckered lips and directed him to the couch.
“Sit.”
Surprisingly, Joey didn’t argue. Stacey took a seat next to him. Draping a casual arm over her shoulders, he pulled her close to him and squeezed. An awkwardness settled between them, the embrace feeling more like a hug she might give a distant relative at a family reunion.
It took her a moment, but Stacey finally spoke. “I want the truth.”
“I’ve given you the truth. I want to marry you.”
“There’s more to it. Stop lying to me. Isn’t a marriage built on trust?”
“Is that a yes?”
Frustration gnawed at her, and she stood up. She began her usual pacing when she needed to think. “No, it’s not a yes.” Shaking her head at her confusion, she then narrowed her gaze on him. “There’s a reason behind you wanting to marry me. If there wasn’t, you’d pick someone far prettier and far more social to do the job. Now spill it, McCrary.” With crossed arms, Stacey stared him down with squinted eyes.
Obviously uncomfortable with her scrutiny, he shifted and then gazed across the room. “It’s complicated,” he said softly.
Stacey wasn’t sure if she should feel vindicated her assumptions were correct or cry because her own insecurities had just been validated. “How complicated?”
“Very complicated.”
Her pacing resumed. Did she want to hear this? “Start from the beginning.”
With the sound of the popping hardwood floors under his feet, he rose and looked out the window. “I’m not a good person, Stace.”
She swallowed thickly. “Why do you say that?”
“In college. I made a lot of mistakes.”
“Everyone makes mistakes.”
He shook his head violently. “I don’t need platitudes. Just listen if you want to hear what I have to say.”
When she didn’t say anything, he continued without a glance in her direction. “I fell in love. I fell so deep and so hard, I didn’t see five minutes in front of me. I just lived in the moment and didn’t care about anything other than her and school.”
Now Stacey was pretty sure she didn’t want to hear this. But like watching a train wreck, she couldn’t make herself stop him.
“We slept together. A lot. Every time I saw her, and we didn’t use protection. She swore to me I was her first, and I knew I was clean. I just can’t tell you how much I cared about her. I was so blind to everything, Stacey. I explained away the track marks on her arms, and I didn’t think anything of it when she wouldn’t stay all night with me. She was like my personal drug.”
Stacey shifted her weight from one foot to another and took a deep breath to calm her nerves.
“She got arrested one night after we had a nasty fight over marriage of all things.” He snorted a derisive laugh. “I wanted her to marry me, and she insisted she would never be attached to one person for long.”
With an aching heart, Stacey walked to him and took his hand in hers. He didn’t pull away but instead looked down at her with such sorrow, she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel whole again.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, the knot in her throat vicious and unyielding.
A muscle in his jaw pulsed as he looked back out the window, clearly lost in his own memories. “She’s pregnant, Stace. My baby is going to be born into the custody of the state if I don’t straighten up.”
“Wha…?”
“Somehow I got connected with her drug bust. I spent a few nights in jail until my parents hired a lawyer to straighten everything out. But I’m still being watched, and the judge told me I had to meet certain criteria before my baby can live with me.”
Stacey didn’t like where this was going. “A judge ordered you to get married?”
“No. But my baby needs a mother. And I need a wife. It’s as simple as that.”
“So why me?” Glutton for punishment she was, she had to know.
“Because I know you. I know you wouldn’t hurt a fly, and you live right across the street from my parents, so they could help out when we need them to. We could be happy together and we’re both attracted to each other. I can pay your bills, help you get things back on track. You could go to school, do whatever you’ve wanted to. In return, I just need someone to help me raise my kid.”
“A marriage of convenience? Are those even legal?”
“Isn’t that what most people have these days, being that the divorce rate is over forty percent?” He tossed a wry chuckle over his shoulder and went back to watching a squirrel gathering nuts just outside the window.
“How would a judge even believe you could fall in love and get married in such a short time? And how long ago did this happen? When is the baby due? What time frame are you working on?”
Another low chuckle sounded. “I’m not a liar, Stace. I’d tell him the truth about us if we did get married. And Cameron is due in less than two months. She was arrested about six months ago, right before I came home for the summer. Seems like the timing couldn’t have been more perfect for everyone involved.”
Stacey had doubts about that. “So what are the terms? I help you get your baby and then we divorce quietly?”
He shrugged and turned back to her. He settled his palms on her shoulders and massaged. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
Joey looked so tired and different. She’d never seen him so dejected and lost. He’d once said he could be himself around her, so was this the real Joey she was seeing right now?
“I don’t believe in divorce,” she whispered, her eyes suddenly stinging as tears rose to the surface.
“I didn’t either until I had a kid who needed me. Right now, my beliefs take the backburner.”
“Don’t you want to fall in love again instead of settling?” The tears fell against her cheeks and slid down slowly.
Joey’s sharp gaze zeroed in on Stacey, and he bared his teeth. “Oh, Stace. Such an optimist. Love isn’t real the way
we want to believe, honey. The only real thing is the pain.”
“If there wasn’t love, how could you feel pain?”
“Illusion. It’s all an illusion.”
Confused, Stacey pulled away from him and sat on the couch. After a moment, he joined her.
“You told me you loved me right after Papa died. I know you were trying to comfort me, but if you don’t believe love exists, why say it?”
“I do love you. I love you as a friend and as a neighbor. But the gut-wrenching, lay-yourself-down-in-front-of-a-bus for someone is just hogwash. To me, what we have is far better than what I felt for Cameron.”
Stacey disagreed, but she kept her mouth shut.
“Will you help me?” he asked next to her, his voice trembling and his hands shaking as he gripped hers.
“I don’t believe in divorce,” she stated again.
“We don’t have to divorce.”
“What if I fall in love with someone? How is any of this fair to me?”
“It’s not. I admit it. It’s not. But knowing my own flesh and blood is about to be stuck in a foster home makes a man think twice about fairness. I’m just focused on getting my baby right now. The rest I can work out later.”
Stacey fell silent again. But a single question floated through her mind and eventually worked its way to the surface. “Didn’t you get yourself in trouble before when you didn’t think things through?”
Abruptly, Joey stood and towered over her. “Will you help me or not?”
Charged with a confidence she’d never felt before, Stacey stood practically nose-to-nose with him. “I don’t believe in divorce. I intend to be married to a man who loves me as much as I love him, even if it hurts sometimes. If you want to find a way for me to help without marriage being involved, I’ll gladly do whatever you need me to. But I can’t end the one dream I’ve always had, however impossible it might be, to find someone who loves me in a lay-down-in-front-of-a-bus kind of way. It does exist, Joey. I know it does. You know it, too, or you wouldn’t be fighting so hard to ignore it.”
“I never knew you to be so selfish, Stacey,” Joey said as he ran a hand down his weary face.
“And I never knew you to be such a coward.” Without stopping to think on her actions, she moved to the front door and held it open for him. He stopped in front of her and tilted her chin up with his index finger, forcing her to look at him.
With dead eyes and a determined etch to his lips, he said, “If you won’t help me, I’ll find someone who will.”
Chapter Five
Joey wasn’t sure what to do. The more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt for even bringing his situation to Stacey’s attention. But he couldn’t shake the feeling she would make the perfect mother to his child, and they could one day live a nice life together.
But it didn’t stop him from thinking about her beliefs. He didn’t want her doing anything she wasn’t comfortable with. Knowing a wife had certain… duties to her husband was a little too much for him to take in, and he couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t ask more of her if they were married. A marriage of convenience could quickly turn into a marriage of demands. The physical attraction he felt for Stacey was gigantic compared to anything he’d ever felt, even with Cameron.
With Cameron, he’d felt an emotional attachment. He’d fallen into the trap people called love, which he’d discovered soon enough was a farce. With Stacey, it was just different. It was hard for him to put a name to what he felt for her, but he knew it wasn’t just lust. But it wasn’t love either. He was certainly attracted her, as well. A fact which had taken him by surprise. She might have duct tape on her glasses and wear shapeless clothes fit for a grandma, but the few times he’d held her and touched her, he knew she was anything but shapeless.
Which brought him back to his original problem. He couldn’t ask her to do something that went against her beliefs. He was a cad; he admitted it. He’d slept around too much during college, made the wrong decisions and was now paying the price for it. Should he make Stacey pay for his sins, too?
Shame filled him when he thought about the tough times drawing him closer to God. He wasn’t an overly religious man, but these last six months had brought him to his knees and his eyes to his Bible. And he respected the fact Stacey was a devout Christian. Truth be told, he didn’t really believe in divorce either, especially after reading so much of the scriptures, but as he’d told Stacey last night, he was left with no other option. His lawyer had advised him to get his life right and find a steady income and a hobby.
Only by hobby, his lawyer meant wife. He’d never come right out and said it, but the undertones had certainly left little to the imagination.
Shame also filled him at the thought he’d let his attraction to Stacey get out of hand. Several times now he’d mauled her and said things to make her blush. Again, the attraction thing was bound to get out of control if they were married.
Filled with resolution, he crossed the street for the second time that day. He needed to apologize and tell Stacey how sorry he was for everything.
His hand was poised to knock, but the door flew open before he had a chance. Her hair was a rumpled heap on top of her head and her eyes were puffy. Tear stains on her cheeks caused his stomach to lurch.
“Stace…” he muttered and pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry.”
Her somberness scared him a little. He pulled back to look at her, but nothing in her face revealed her feelings.
“I’m sorry, Stacey. I shouldn’t have involved you with my problems. You just lost your grandfather and here I am trying to convince you to marry me. Hardly fair, huh?”
“I’ll marry you, Joey. But I have conditions.”
Joey’s heart stopped then started again with a great thump against his chest. “What?”
“I said I’ll marry you.”
“I can’t ask that of you, Stace. I took advantage, and I shouldn’t have.”
“No, you’re right. You shouldn’t have. But you did. And I’m saying yes.”
He stooped and looked into her eyes, which bore a hole through his chest. “Why?”
“I was orphaned once, when my parents died. And I know how important it is to stay with family. I’d like to help your baby.”
He noted how she didn’t say she’d like to help him, which clued him in she still had her reservations.
“What about your beliefs on divorce?”
“That’s one of my conditions. No divorce.”
Joey stood speechless for a second. “What do you mean, no divorce?”
“It might be a marriage of convenience, but if you’re so convinced we’re the perfect equation for a happy life together, then prove it. No divorce. Ever.”
“I… I can’t promise that.”
“You said you weren’t a liar, Joey. If you stand before me, a preacher, and God and promise things you never intend to keep, you’re a liar.”
She had a point. So what reason would he ever have to divorce? If one of them fell in love, maybe. But it wouldn’t be him.
“What if you meet someone you fall in love with? You were right last night. I can’t keep you from your life. This isn’t fair.” He released her, torn between his obligations to do right for everyone involved in this mess.
“I won’t fall in love with anyone, Joe. Love doesn’t exist remember? I guess we’re a lot alike. People don’t love girls like me.”
From most girls, he might have thought it was a ploy for attention, but the dejected look on Stacey’s face told him she truly believed the words.
In an instant, she was in his arms. He wasn’t sure how she got there so quickly again, but he did know it was all his doing. The one thing he wanted to do for Stacey was protect her from herself. Once they were married, he’d make sure she had the confidence she needed to get on with her life.
With or without him.
****
Stacey tried to pull away from Joey, but his grip was too tight. So instead, she
inhaled his scent, outdoorsy and comforting. In a way, it reminded her of Papa.
It was easy to believe a life with Joey could be good. He always seemed to do the right things, say the right things, hold her the right way… But marriage was the tie that seemed to break a couple’s perfect relationship. Once she was married to Joey, she held no illusion things would stay the same as they were now. He’d have what he wanted.
And at this particular moment, helping him was what she wanted. Helping a child know its father and having a chance to become a mother herself was what she needed. She was best at taking care of people, and an infant could certainly take her mind off her own woes.
“Joey…” She pushed at his chest. She didn’t want his pity.
“Don’t let go yet,” he murmured in her ear.
“This isn’t the part where you tell me how happy I’ve made you. I’m not stupid.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“And this isn’t the part where you kiss me and take me to bed for us to celebrate.” A knot formed in Stacey’s throat, and she shoved it down with a thick swallow. What she said was exactly what she’d always envisioned.
“I wasn’t going to do that, either.”
“And this isn’t the part where you lie to me and tell me you love me.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
Nope. Stacey was going to fight the tears. Think of the baby. The sweet baby she’d be able to raise.
“What were you going to do then?” she demanded, lifting her chin and shrugging out of Joey’s arms.
For a moment, she thought Joey was going to cry, too. His eyes grew suspiciously bright just before he looked away.
“I was going to say thank you, Stacey.” His eyes settled on hers again, clear and focused. “Thank you.”
It was all that needed to be said. With a nod, Stacey stepped to the door and opened it, fingering her glasses up on her nose with the other hand.
Just as Stacey thought she’d be free of him for a little while, he paused just in front of her. “How do you want to do this? Courthouse? Justice of the peace? Small ceremony? Vegas?” She heard the smile in his voice but kept her eyes averted. Fear consumed her. If she looked at him, she’d get cold feet.