Lake of Tears

by Mary Logue

And without his help, Andrew couldn’t hold him.

  Brian dropped.

  As his body fell away, it was pelted by bullets that tore him into pieces. Andrew watched until it hit the rocks and tumbled like a bag of hay, tearing apart.

  Brian had left them.

  He had to convince Doug of what happened. He had to keep talking, keep Doug listening to him, looking at him. “I didn’t let go of Brian. Don’t you get it? Brian did. He let go of me.”

  Doug heard him and said, “He let go of you?”

  “Yes. I was holding on to him tight and he had hold of my wrist, but then he let go. I couldn’t hold him after that. He slipped out of my hand.”

  “He did it?”

  Andrew nodded. “I think he did it for me. So I wouldn’t get hurt.”

  Doug looked down at the gun he was holding.

  Then Meg reached out and put her finger over the end of the barrel.

  Claire only heard silence. She tried to think of how to handle this situation, but it was like her mind was scattered points of energy. This was not a time for thinking, this was a time for doing.

  Claire stood up and shouted, “Stop.”

  When nothing changed, when only Meg turned and looked at her, Claire moved to step two.

  She lifted her gun over the edge of the bar.

  Now, they all looked at her: Meg, Andrew and the guy with the gun.

  Meg moved as Claire pulled on the trigger.

  The noise of her gun filled the whole room—twice as loud as it should have been.

  CHAPTER 23

  Rich saw it all happen. He had resisted stepping in until Meg was in the middle of it. He started across the room, and then he watched as Meg put her finger on the barrel of the gun. That stopped him. She had put herself in harm’s way. Any movement from him could make it worse.

  Then Claire stood up behind the bar and shouted some loud word. It only registered as noise. Meg turned, saw her mother. The two men looked at Claire, and in that instant so many things happened:

  Claire raised her gun, Meg stepped forward and pushed down on the barrel of the gun, the guy with the gun fell back, and two guns went off.

  Like a frozen tableau, they all stayed where they were except for the guy. He landed on the floor in a heap. The silence was broken by his sobs. His gun was still in his hands.

  Rich wasn’t sure, but it looked like no one had gotten hurt. He could see no blood.

  Andrew moved first. He reached down and took the gun away from his buddy. Then he put an arm around his shoulders.

  Meg ran to her mother, and Claire climbed over the bar to get to her. They held onto each other and rocked. Rich walked over and put his arms around both of them, holding them as tight as he could.

  When they broke apart, Claire put her hands on Meg’s face and said, “You’re okay?”

  “I pushed the gun down. I think it shot a hole in the floor.”

  “Oh, Meggy, I was so scared.”

  “So was I, Mom, but I wasn’t going to let him shoot me.”

  Rich wrapped an arm around her neck. “You’re as tough as your mom. You’re always going to be okay.”

  Andrew squatted on the floor, holding on to Doug.

  Claire walked over, took the gun from Andrew and asked him, “Who is this guy?”

  “Doug Nelson. A guy I knew in Afghanistan. I think he killed Tammy Lee. Because of me.”

  “He tell you that?”

  “Kind of.”

  “What happened to him?”

  How did he begin to explain what happened to Doug? “I’m not sure. We were in a bad ambush together, and he was wounded. They flew him out and I haven’t seen him until now.”

  “How did he know Tammy Lee?”

  “Because I talked about her, and because of a picture I showed him when we were over there.”

  “Why did he kill her, then?”

  “Because he wanted to hurt me.”

  “How would that hurt you?”

  “Tammy made the big mistake of telling him that she and I were getting back together again.”

  “Was this true?”

  “Not at all. But I’m so sorry.” And then something sprung open in him, a well, a river of tears started pouring down his face. He bent his head over Doug’s shoulders and said, “I’m so sorry, buddy. I’m so sorry.”

  Amy pushed past the teenaged boy in an apron who was trying to tell her to wait, to not go in until she was told to. She had heard shots and she was going in.

  When she slammed open the door, she was surprised at the scene she saw. Rich was holding Meg in his arms, and she was tucked into his chest like a bird.

  Claire was standing over two men, who were folded over each other and crying. One of them was Andrew. She didn’t recognize the other guy.

  “Do I need to call an ambulance?” she asked Claire.

  Claire just shook her head.

  “What happened?”

  Claire looked at Amy and didn’t know where to start. “It’s a long story, going way back to the war. All the wounds they brought home.”

  CHAPTER 24

  “I didn’t mean to kill her, just to knock some sense into her,” Doug said as Claire drove him back to the sheriff’s department.

  She had tried to keep him from talking, wanting to get back to the department and on the record, but finally decided it didn’t matter. She had read him his rights, and there seemed no stopping him. He had to keep going over and over what he had done, like he was throwing it up.

  “She wouldn’t give up on Andrew. I told her what he had done, how he had broken the vow, but she just laughed at me. Said I was crazy. I knew I was, but I knew what I knew. That Andrew had to pay for what he had done.”

  “So what happened?”

  “I was going to leave. I was at her house, but I was walking out the door and I tried one more time to persuade her. She was pushing me out the door, so I pushed back. I guess I pushed pretty hard because she fell straight backwards and cracked her head. I heard it hit the floor. I tried to get her to move, but she wouldn’t, so I left.”

  “Are you sure she was dead?”

  There was silence from the back seat. Claire glanced up into the rearview mirror and could see Doug nodding. Finally he said, “I know what dead people look like. I know what they feel like. Empty. She was dead.”

  “Did you take her body with you?”

  “No way. Why would I do that? Nobody knows me here. ’Cept Andrew. And I didn’t really care anyway. That’s why I’m telling you. See, I should have died over there. That’s what the vow was all about. We either all make it, or none of us do. I should have died when Brian did, but Andrew dragged me out. Then I don’t remember nothing. Next time I come to I’m in Germany, for God’s sake.”

  “You didn’t go back to Tammy Lee’s house and take her to the Burning Boat?” Claire asked him again.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t take her any place. I left her on the floor. Figured someone would find her soon enough. I hoped it would be Andrew. Then he would see what he had done. Then he would know.”

  He fell silent and Claire watched a car come at her, dim its lights, then drive past. The countryside was dark with no moon, no stars, just black. She didn’t want to talk to this crazy guy anymore. Something wasn’t fitting together. But why would he claim to have killed Tammy Lee if he hadn’t? And if he did, then who put her body in the Burning Boat?

  “Andrew should pay,” Doug mumbled.

  “What?” Claire asked, not sure she was quite hearing him.

  “It’s all Andrew’s fault. I don’t have a life anymore. And he shouldn’t have one, either.”

  Claire didn’t want to argue with Doug. She tried not to think of a time and a place that could create such thoughts in a man. A war that stole lives and then just kept taking them, even after it was over, even after the soldiers were safely home.

  “Was I wrong?” Andrew asked Meg. After Claire had taken Doug away, they had ret
urned to their seats in the booth. Andrew looked at the hole in the floor and the one in the wall and still couldn’t quite believe what had just happened.

  “Wrong about what?” Meg asked.

  He could see she was shivering. He stood up and gave her his jean jacket. She wrapped it around her shoulders and looked at him with her big eyes.

  “So many things,” Andrew started, the list seeming to grow endless in his mind. “Going to war. Making that stupid vow. Watching Brian die. Not taking better care of Doug. And then meeting him here, in public. Bringing you into it.”

  “I don’t know about all those things. You’ll just have to figure them out. But I don’t think you could’ve taken care of Doug, and I’m glad you didn’t meet him by yourself.” She ducked her head and said, “Then you might be dead.” She started to cry.

  Rich Haggard walked over and put a hand on Meg’s shoulder. “I think it’s time I took her home.”

  Andrew knew he couldn’t argue with Rich. As much as he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her so tight, he knew he had no right. Maybe he never had. “Yeah, I think she’s in shock.”

  “I think we all are,” Rich said, not unkindly.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Andrew said.

  Meg wiped at her face, but just smeared the tears around. Her mouth quivered, but she nodded.

  “I’m sorry,” Andrew said, hoping it would begin to help. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

  Meg shook her head. “You need to take care of yourself right now. I know you’re sorry, but don’t worry about me.”

  She stood up and gave him back his jacket. Rich wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and they walked together out the front door.

  Andrew sat still and felt like waves of sand and blood were washing over him. How would he ever dig out of this life?

  Claire got up early the next morning. Neither Meg nor Rich were awake when she left for work. She wanted this case to be over, and she wanted the truth. She wanted to know what exactly had happened to Tammy Lee.

  She had one of the guards get Terry Whitman up as soon as she got to the department. “Put him in the interrogation room. Don’t let him pee. Don’t give him anything to eat or drink. Let him sit there for a while.”

  After an hour she decided she couldn’t wait any longer. She opened the door and Terry jumped at the sight of her.

  Claire sat across the table from Terry and turned the recorder on. She sat quietly, letting it sink into Terry where he was and why. He looked like he hadn’t slept much last night. That was good. The defenses would be falling away. A little quiet would allow more of them to drop off.

  Finally she said, “I don’t think you killed Tammy Lee.”

  He looked up at her with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. She was hooking him with it, reeling him in.

  “I didn’t kill her. I swear I didn’t.”

  “What happened then, Terry? Explain it to me. When did you meet up with Tammy Lee on Thursday night?”

  “I got off work. We met like usual at the bar. She’d liked to get out and I wasn’t good for much, but I wanted to have a drink or two. But right away we start arguing. She reminds me she lost the ring. Do you know how much I paid for that ring? I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t tell if she was playing with me. She liked to do that.”

  “I bet you were pretty mad about the ring.”

  “I was. I asked her where she thought she lost it. She wouldn’t say at first, but then she mentions Andrew, how he gave her a ride home. She says maybe she lost it in his car. She’s been teasing me about Andrew ever since he got back, saying how good he was at everything. Anyway, we go back to her house. All I want to do is go to sleep, but she wants to goof around. She starts telling me how good Andrew was in bed. She makes it sound like they

  did something recently. I just lost it. The ring and Andrew, and now this. I knew if I stuck around we’d just get into a fight. So

  I left.”

  “Was that the last time you saw her?”

  Terry looked lost. He stared around the room as if he could find something to hold on to. “Not exactly.”

  “You didn’t hurt her before you left, did you?”

  “Not really. She was coming at me when I got to the door so I just pushed her away, and then I slammed the door. I was surprised when she didn’t come after me, but I just wanted to get home and go to sleep. I didn’t push her that hard. I don’t know what happened to her.”

  “Did you go back to Tammy Lee’s house?”

  He shook his head, but not as a negative gesture, more to shake the thoughts away.

  “Terry, did you see Tammy after that?”

  “When I woke up the next morning, I called, but she didn’t answer the phone. I let it ring until the answering machine picked up. But that got me worried. I was sure she was there and just didn’t want to talk to me. So I went over to her place.”

  “What did you find?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t know how it happened. I didn’t push her that hard. Just like a get-away shove, not even mean or anything.” His eyes were staring at something that wasn’t in the room. He sucked in his breath and then said, “I opened the door and there she was, lying on the floor.”

  He pulled his eyes away from this image and looked up at Claire. “She was dead, but I swear I didn’t do it. But how else could it have happened?”

  “What did you do?”

  “I was scared. I knew everyone would think I did it. We were at the bar together. I would get blamed. I had to get rid of the body. So I came up with this idea about the Burning Boat.”

  “How did you know about it?”

  “Oh, everybody talks about it, plus I had brought over some lumber from the rail yard. I thought if I could get her body in to the boat, it would disappear in the fire. It would all go away. Tammy would be gone, but she has done that before, just run off. People might think I did it, but there would be no body.”

  “But there are bones, and we know they’re Tammy’s.”

  His shoulders sank, his head slumped, he sighed. “I can’t believe I killed her.”

  “I don’t think you did.”

  He lifted his head up. “Why? Did that Andrew have something to do with it?”

  “No, but a friend of his did. Or rather, someone who was in the service with him.” Then Claire explained what Doug had done.

  “So he must have come right after I left,” Terry said.

  Claire said, “Must have.”

  “If I would have stayed, she’d still be alive.”

  “Maybe, or maybe you’d both be dead.”

  CHAPTER 25

  His desk was the same desk he had been given when he joined the sheriff’s department thirty years ago, and it had been battered and old then. The top drawer never slid in easily, you always had to jiggle it. He still banged his knee on the pencil drawer when he sat down. He had probably touched the desk more than he had caressed his wife, even cried more on its gray frame.

  Talbert could just see himself taking the desk home. His wife had told him he could have Kent’s old room to do what he wanted with, and she would say nothing if he brought home the desk, just point him to the basement and clench her mouth tight.

  She would try to give him space, but the house was her domain. Maybe Kent’s room would work out. He could set up a workroom in the basement, maybe do some woodworking like he had always wanted to.

  He wasn’t sure what the doctors had told his wife, but she was adamant that he retire. “It’s time for us to be together,” she had said.

  “And do what?” he asked.

  She looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, “Jigsaw puzzles. We both like them.”

  As Talbert sat at his old desk, a day filled with puzzles and carved bowls sounded like he’d be spending a lot of time in front of the TV and napping. He didn’t want to go to sleep for the rest of his life.

  But he knew he had to give up the job. He had given it up. It was time for h
im to move on, and let Claire Watkins take over as sheriff. She was ready, and she still had the energy, and, as far as he knew, her heart was beating strong.

  He looked up and she was standing in the doorway. “May I come in?” she asked.

  “Hey, it’s your office.”

  “Doesn’t feel like it.”

  “Make it your own,” he suggested. “Maybe get a new desk.”

  She walked in and ran a hand down the surface of the desk. “I might do that. Have Rich make me a desk.”

  “Then you won’t mind if I take this one. Get it out of your way?”

  “That would be great. I guess I’ll have to make some changes, and we might as well start with the desk.”

  He stood up. “I’ll come and get it in a day or two.”

  “I might need you to come in a few times a week to help me settle in,” Claire said.

  “Be glad to do that.”

  “I’m not sure … .”

  He put his hand on her shoulder and wasn’t sure he had ever touched her before, other than to shake her hand. “You’re going to be great. You were made for this job. Just took a heart attack for me to see that. Plus, I have been making plans for my retirement.”

  Her face brightened. “Oh, yes, that sounds good. Are you going to travel?”

  “Might. The wife doesn’t like airplanes much, but we could take the train.”

  “What else?”

  He scrambled. He didn’t want to sound like a loser, playing jigsaw puzzles. “I’ve been thinking of learning Latin.”

  “Wow,” Claire said.

  “Yeah, I’ve never learned another language and that is supposed to be the mother of them all.”

  “Maybe you’ll become a scholar.”

  He laughed. “From sheriff to scholar. Could happen.”

  “Just let me know if you need any help with clearing up in here,” she said as she backed out the door.

  “Good job on the Whitman case.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You do good work, Claire.”

  Meg watched Andrew as he walked through the crowd of people at the Fort. He was such a good man. He listened to people. He believed in things. He had even fought for them.