The Rules In Paradise (Playing By The Rules)

by Woods, Lindsey

“What are you looking at?” He nearly snapped.

  “I’m just watching you. It’s very rare that your gaze is not focused on me, so I will take that opportunity to just watch you.” He let out a deep breath as I finished speaking and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “I don’t know if God was good or cruel when he brought you into my life Olivia. There are times when I feel so strongly that we are right here for a specific reason and then other times I feel like it is one big colossal joke. I don’t have the answer and I haven’t a clue what in the hell to do.” He looked utterly confused.

  “I’m extremely lost, I just want you to know that.” To my surprise he laughed and walked around to my side of the Jeep and opened the door.

  “Get in, let’s get out of here before I regret something.”

  He walked around to his side of he Jeep, got in, started it up and we drove away.

  Chapter 7

  I was surprised but not the least bit shocked when he passed the condo. He clearly had things on his mind and I was not about to interrupt that. I sat quietly and enjoyed the ride, my hair blowing in the warm evening breeze.

  We pulled up against an abandoned looking building and Cole hopped out. I took that as my sign to get out and I met him around back. He was digging in the backseat for something. Only when he apparently found it did he make eye contact and nod his head in the direction that the Jeep was facing. It only took moments for my shoes to fill with sand as I immediately began sinking. The sun was low in the sky, very shortly it would be dark. I heard the sound of the waves get closer and closer as we walked toward the water.

  As always, Cole was a few steps ahead of me. He took a blanket out from under his arms and lay it down on the sand. He set down another blanket, still folded and some water. Apparently we were sitting. He kicked off his sandals and settled down on the blanket.

  “Come sit,” he said as he patted the empty side of the blanket.

  “The sun looks so beautiful this time of the evening.”

  “It does, doesn’t it? There are not many places you get this view. Sure, everywhere you can see the sun set but you never get these colors.” He said everything with his eyes focused forward on the horizon.

  I folded my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around then. I rested my head on my arms, looking at Cole.

  “I think I understand what you mean when you say that I wear my heart on my sleeve but you don’t know why. I can see that you are fighting with something, but I don’t know why.”

  He took his sunglasses off his head and set them next to him. He turned his head toward me and searched my face for something, what I did not know.

  “I think it’s because the moment I think I have you figured out you do or say something that comes out of left field. This is why I can’t figure you out. This is what I mean when I struggle not to be near you. There is always something surprising, almost brand new about you. You’re like a breath of fresh air everyday.” He looked at me for a moment and then away after he finished speaking.

  “Do you really fight it or is that just what you say to yourself?” I asked hesitantly. He gave a low hiccup of laughter.

  “See what I mean? You are nearly too perceptive. I’d like to believe that I try to fight it, it’s just your pull always wins. It won that day I watched you at the pool. That evening on the boat was probably top ten best evenings of my life and that is impressive Olivia. I’ve been extremely lucky in my life and I’ve had some great times. But you are so, enchanting that I must you place you reasonably high.”

  “Why do you need to fight it?” I was still resting my head on my arms, watching him while we spoke.

  “Because there is nothing healthy about it. We are both in this paradise, which is poisoning us into believing we feel something we do not. When we do part ways I cannot manage a sad, tearful goodbye. In the light of day, things are always different. Here? In this beautiful city we are living in perpetual night. Only when we return to reality will it be light and reveal this for what it is.” He spoke wistfully. He broke eye contact and again was talking to the horizon.

  “And what is ‘it’?” My stomach turned as I got the words out. For the first time in awhile he gave a genuine smile.

  “This is a clusterfuck. Excuse the expression, but this a mess.” I didn’t know how to respond to that so I sat quietly again. This time the silence wore on, seemingly never-ending.

  “Noise or silence?” I asked. Cole was seated with his knees raised in front of him, resting his forearms on them. He gave a small smile and looked down for a moment.

  “Noise.”

  “Why.”

  “No ma’am, those are the rules. You first.”

  “Silence.” He turned to me, seemingly surprised.

  “Noise means things are happening, others are around. I like noise because it means progress. Silence means things are still and often times you are alone.”

  I shrugged. “I like alone. It’s comforting. Silence let’s you think and wonder and just process things.”

  “Thinking is not always the best idea,” he said.

  “It is when you have to figure something out. Sometimes all you need is silence to gain perspective on something. There were so many artists that could only create when they are alone and in silence. It’s like something would speak to them only if they were alone. Like people who say that God speaks to them. It doesn’t ever happen around anyone else. Silence can be powerful.” I was kind of shocked at how defensive I had become, but I felt strongly about my position.

  “The paradox is it can also be deafening. To me, silence is so loud and distracting that I cannot arrive at an answer. I’ve never heard the voice of God there either. Usually it just means I’m alone.” His voice sounded kind of sad or maybe wistful.

  “Do you associate being alone with loneliness?” I asked.

  “Yes.” His answer was succinct. He answered without hesitation.

  “Is that part of the reason for this?” I pointed between he and I.

  “No. The reason for ‘this’ as you say is I am not lonely near or far from you. You are enough to occupy my mind to the point where I am not lonely when alone.”

  It was my turn to turn away as I rested my head on my knees, looking out onto the water. There was just a speck of bright orange left. I don’t know how he managed to do it, but he loaded so many layers of things into his words. Any psychiatrist would have a field day with this. I shivered a little as a big breeze came off the water. Cole shifted slightly and next I felt the folded blanket drape over my shoulders.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “You’re very welcome. If you are too cold we will go. You just say the word.” He stretched his legs out, his calves down to his bare feet were stretched into the sand. I admired him as inconspicuously as I could. He was tall and just the right amount of tone everywhere. It didn’t hurt that he was incredibly intelligent.

  “Are your friends going to wonder where you are?” He asked.

  “They know where I’m at. Much like your friends have done to you, I’ve received the third degree from Char. Adrian however doesn’t have a leg to stand on so she’s kept quiet.”

  “And what was their assessment of the situation?”

  “I can’t imagine that you care what others think of you.” I didn’t mean it ugly, it was just an impression I got from him.

  “I don’t. Just enlighten me for fun.”

  “They both think you’re gorgeous of course. Charlotte picked up on your intensity.”

  “My intensity?”

  “Yes, how you can fill a room just from what you emit. I don’t know if it’s power or arrogance or what, but you take up more figurative space than the rest of us mere mortals.”

  “That word arrogance has reared it’s ugly head again. I was unaware that my proverbial aura was so overbearing.”

  “I call bullshit on that. Every move you make and word you say is calculated. Anyway, she said I need to take this for what it
is. A vacation where I’ve met an attractive man and I’m hanging out with him. Which is not me at all.”

  “I think that is a good attitude to have. Though I would imagine, if this so called man was so arrogant you should not waste your precious vacation time on him.” I head see his eyes sparkling in the dark as he spoke.

  I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see them and reached over to push him. “That’s not what I meant. You’re so sure of yourself. You even said arrogance can be deserved.”

  “Am I overbearing with you?” He seemed to genuinely want to know. There was no inflection in his voice that led me to believe he was kidding.

  “Yes and no. When I first knew you I felt smothered by your intensity. Or what you called your aura. I’ve come to appreciate it. It defines you and makes you unique. I appreciate it about you.”

  “Well, thank-you.” He seemed pleased.

  I wrapped the blanket tightly around me as I lay down on my back. Being so far from a big city, the sky was ablaze with stars. Cole shifted and did the same thing. He laid his head right next to mine.

  “I feel like you don’t understand how enchanting you are. You’re beautiful and witty, stubborn as an ass but in a very refined way, if that makes any sense. You don’t take any shit but it is only because you can outsmart anyone who tries. What I truly enjoy is how innocent you are about it. You have no idea all of things you possess which makes it so cute to watch you go through every stage of a thought. When you talk about me always watching you it is because I like to watch each phase you go through when I say something that causes you to think. You have a dreadful pokerface, please never pick up the game.” I laughed at that last part and smiled up at the sky. “I mean it. You are not a dime a dozen, believe me, I know plenty of those. You’re rare and I quite enjoy being selfish with you, where nobody else can experience it but me, right now, here.” He shifted a little and I felt his warm hand cover mine.

  “What happens in a week?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, what does?” He replied.

  “When you leave, what happens,” I said loudly, as if he didn’t understand it the first time.

  “I will return home and life will return to normal, I suppose.”

  I stared at the sky in silence. That stung and I honestly did know what to say to that.

  “You do not approve of that answer,” he said, which was more of a statement than a question.

  I held my breath to try to hold in any impending emotion. When I felt it was safe again I let it out. I heard him sigh next to me.

  “What are you doing to me?” He asked quietly. I remained silent. He let go of my hand and turned to face me. “You’re mad with me and are not talking to me?” He asked.

  “I’m not mad at you.” My response was slightly snappier than I would have liked.

  “You sure sound angry Olivia. I do not know what to say to make you feel better. You have an unbelievable effect on me. I can’t even begin to tell you how you make me second guess every move I make, every decision I’ve made in many aspects of my life.”

  “But you’re still going to go home and pretend like this never happened.” I felt the knot in my throat but I did not let it out.

  “I think that is the way it should be. For both of us. I know you will probably not appreciate this, but I want to spend every minute I can with you until then. You make me lose my mind but in the best way possible.”

  I groaned audibly and covered my face with my hands. “You’re infuriating,” I nearly yelled.

  “Yes, we’ve been through this.” I could hear the smile in his voice and I wanted to punch it off of his face.

  “Is this real life?” I sat up and looked at him, maddened even further by his smile.

  “As opposed to…?” He let the question trail off.

  “I feel like I’m on some kind of hidden video show. Like I’m finally going to snap and a cameraman is going to jump out. You are cute, you are sometimes funny, you are brilliant and successful and you have taken me to the most amazing places and they’ve been so romantic that I want to puke. But then you say you are going to forget me, but before you do that you want to spend time with me. It has to be a joke.” I was talking nearly frantically. I imagined this is what certifiably crazy people sounded like.

  “You drive me crazy Olivia. You make me question everything. It doesn’t make sense because my brain is full of images of your smile and your wet clothes stuck to you. Mixed with those are recollections of your wit and humor and your stubbornness and that there are sometimes that I want to walk away from you. You are driving me crazy and I hate every moment of it because I am not in control. Whenever I think I have the upper hand you do something that makes me lose the control again. You’re running this, whether I like it or not.”

  I stared at him for a minute after he finished speaking. His head was propped up on one hand and he was looking straight at me. I again felt that intenseness and this time it did not make me feel anxious, it empowered me. Before I could stop myself I had leaned in and put my lips against his. I felt much more urgent than I should, but I did not back down. It only took a second for him to start responding. His hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Before it registered, he had pulled me down on him, continuing to kiss me. This continued for several minutes before I finally backed off and sat up. I looked around, practically dizzy.

  Cole laid back down on the blanket and I heard him take a deep breath. We didn’t speak for a long time. It was not awkward silence, it was a deep, pondering silence.

  “What the hell are you doing to me Olivia?” He barely whispered the question as if it was meant for mostly just himself.

  “I’m sorry.” I whispered. The lust and passion had worn off and I was feeling embarrassed. He sat up and looked at me.

  “Don’t. Do not even go there.” His tone was almost harsh. I got anxious that he was upset with me. I was mad with me for letting my emotions get the best of me. “Thank-you.” That was all he said as he stood up and held a hand out to help me up. Confused, I stood and just looked at him. He smiled at me. “Like I said, you put it all out there. Those emotions do not simply hide on your sleeve, but apparently on your lips.” I flushed bright red. He could probably tell even here in the dark.

  He bent to pick up the blanket and folded it up. He secured the other one around my shoulders and we walked back to the Jeep with my hand in his.

  We pulled into the parking lot of the condo and he turned the car off.

  “Why thank-you?” I looked at him as I awaited his answer.

  “Because I needed you to knock some sense into me. That seemed to work.” He smiled and kissed my cheek before he climbed out of the Jeep and we walked into the lobby.

  Chapter 8

  Cole had work to do the next few days so I spent my time with mostly Charlotte, as Adrian seemed to be attached to Jason’s hip. Clearly Cole hadn’t lied when he said that he was the business guy while Jason was the product guy. I slightly resented Adrian for getting to spend so much time with Jason. The time with the girls was fun, and enjoyable and much needed relaxation.

  Though I did not see Cole for the following few days, he got in touch with the front desk and had them send his business card to our room which had his cell phone number on it. We had talked each night until we fell asleep, and it was almost as if we were physically together.

  I laid in bed on Thursday morning. It was a bittersweet feeling. I knew that afternoon I would be seeing him and I was so happy. I also knew that he was expected to leave on Sunday and that thought frightened me. I grew attached to him. I cared about him. When he was not around I felt excited at the thought of seeing him again. I had grown to appreciate his conversation most of all. I enjoyed talking to him and hearing details about his day. It was those kinds of things I appreciated more than anything superficial, like how gorgeous he was.

  I finally pulled myself out of bed, and walked into the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. I could feel t
he disastrous state of my hair as it bobbled on top of my head. My over-sized T-Shirt and boxer shorts completed the disgusting, just out of bed, look. I poured a bowl of cereal and sat and ate. Charlotte was gone to brunch with some friends who were in town for a long weekend, whom she had met when her and her parents used to come. Adrian was god knows where doing god knows what with Jason. I was happy to sit in silence and think. I had just put my bowl in the sink and rinsed it when I heard a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock and it was quarter after ten, I figured it was housecleaning. I shut off the sink and marched to the door.

  When I flung the door open I was not quite prepared to see an extremely handsome looking Cole Cooper. His lips slowly spread in to an amused smile, the crease at his eyes becoming more apparent. Once the smile was at full blast I saw his slight dimples appear.

  “You’re a sight for sore eyes my dear.” He could barely keep the amusement out of his voice.

  “What are you doing here?” I was mortified. I knew what I must look like and I also knew what he looked like. He wore khaki colored cargo shorts and a white cotton shirt. His sunglasses were perched on his head and he looked breathtakingly hot.

  “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” He asked. Looking around impatiently.

  I moved out of his way as he stepped in and closed the door behind him.

  “Considering I was supposed to meet you in about an hour, I decided to chance that you were up and at home.” He surveyed the condo as he spoke. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but he didn’t look displeased.

  “I still need to get ready.” I said nervously. I took my hair down nervously and began to tie it back as neatly as I could.

  “Really? I thought you looked quite ready now.” Again, his smile showed his amusement. I rolled my eyes at him. I had waited days to see him and he did not disappoint.

  “I also wanted to come and tell you to wear a bathing suit. Preferably something a little more,” he paused, “substantial, than the one from the other day.” I felt myself blush at the thought of myself in that bikini in front of him.