Craving You

by Calista Fox

  She turned to Tague and raised a brow. “If you told your assistant you had a date, and arrangements were made for me to sit next to you, could it have gotten back to your father? You had to give my name so place cards could be created. He could have easily learned Chip represents me—and why. What my business is.”

  “So he kept me on pins and needles because he didn’t approve of my dinner mate?” He contemplated this a few moments. Then let out a low growl. “I wouldn’t put it past him. And he likely didn’t tell my mother so that when it came up, she could be genuinely shocked and get some mileage out of it.”

  “Not to mention, they invited Brianna Carlisle along. More suitable companionship for their son? Perhaps they thought I’d crack under the pressure and slip out before dinner was even served. Feels like we’re all just pawns for them.”

  “I don’t play that game, remember?”

  “I’m not saying you do. I’m saying they do.”

  Tague held her gaze as his mind clearly cranked on what she’d said. Then he laughed. Sharp and annoyed.

  “When it comes to the Tokyo venture,” he told her, “I’m the one who’s going to make the final decision on what happens. When it comes to us… Well, that’s one-hundred percent between you and me. No one else, baby. That I promise you.”

  He stood and hauled her up against him. L.L. gasped at how his firm tone and strong embrace held such conviction. Like they were a sure thing and nothing could stand in their way.

  Not his family…or an ocean.

  Which made her smile.

  Until he said, “Enough of all that. How was your day?”

  The smile faded. “Horrific,” she admitted.

  Tague frowned. “You design sex toys…how bad could it have possibly been?”

  “I seriously don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Loralai.” His voice took on that possessive edge that made her clit tingle and her heart pick up a few extra beats. “What happened?”

  She still boiled with anger that Corey had tracked her down this morning. That he’d pretended there was no bad blood between them. Or was it that she’d meant so little to him in the grand scheme of things that he couldn’t be bothered to actually realize there was bad blood between them?

  What a shit.

  “Baby?” Tague prompted.

  She said, “My ex-boyfriend was waiting for me outside of the coffee shop today. He saw the pictures of us in the paper from the party.”

  Tague eyed her closely. “And?”

  “And…” She resisted the urge to scream in utter frustration. “Apparently, he’s moved to the city and is recording his next CD here.”

  Releasing her, Tague took a couple steps backward. Dragged a hand down his face. “He upset you. That’s why you’ve been so pensive since I arrived.”

  “Last person I ever wanted to see again. Like…ever.” Pain lanced through her. Not so much related to the breakup, but how cavalier Corey had been this morning—after everything he’d put her through. He didn’t have the right to act as though they were long-lost buds. Or tell her she was beautiful.

  Tague took her by the hand and led her into the living room, where there was a cozy fire in the hearth. He settled on the sofa with her next to him and extracted his cell from his pocket and hit a speed-dial number.

  When his call connected, he said, “Sherry, will you please order from Fenore and have dinner delivered?” He provided the address to L.L.’s apartment. “Thank you.” He killed the call and returned the phone to his pocket.

  L.L.’s jaw slackened. “First of all, Fenore delivers?”

  “For select customers.”

  “Which begs the next question. You’re a Fenore select customer?” Why was she even surprised?

  He shrugged a broad shoulder. “I have some ins around town.”

  “Yeah. Clearly. ‘Cuz it took me seven weeks to get a table there, and that was considered the short-list because I mentioned Meg.”

  “So next time mention me.”

  “You’re too much.”

  Tague kissed the tip of her nose. “Hardly. Now… You’ve been troubled all day and didn’t tell me.”

  “He caught me off-guard. Though really, that shouldn’t have been the case. It was just a matter of time till we ran into each other in New York, even when he didn’t live here. I’m sure he’s visited often enough that it’s sheer luck we never crossed paths. Obviously, I’ve been in massive denial over skirting him. I’d hoped he’d stick to L.A. Or record his CDs somewhere else in the world.” L.L. stewed. Then ground out, “Like Antarctica.”

  “Your ex is a musician?”

  “Fucking lead guitarists,” she said with a shake of her head. “You can’t trust the lot of them.”

  “Loralai. Who is the ex-ex?”

  37

  She stared Tague square in the eye and said, “Corey Crenshaw.”

  Tague was speechless.

  Big surprise.

  “Still with me?” she teased, despite her irritation over the one man she’d prayed she’d never see again having dared to spring up before her on the street.

  Tague came around. “You just love to blow my mind, don’t you?”

  “Not intentionally this time,” she contended.

  “You might as well have just said the ex was Bono. Or more apropos, Eddie Van Halen.”

  She laughed softly, despite the unpleasant topic of conversation. “They’re both a bit too old for me, but I get your point. Corey makes every Best Guitarists of All Time list.”

  “Huh.” Tague blew out a breath. “I can’t picture you with a musician.”

  “We’d already been together for a year when he started playing. He was really good from the beginning, and totally dedicated. Corey was only interested in two things when we were in high school. Me and his garage band. We were pretty much inseparable, except when he had his axe in-hand.”

  “That’s serious stuff.”

  She nodded. “We agreed to go to UCLA together, but Corey really just went for me. He never felt he had a need for a degree, since he was convinced he’d make it big in the music industry. But there were classes geared toward fulfilling that dream, so he powered through lectures when he really wanted to be practicing.”

  Tague draped an arm along the back of the sofa and she snuggled next to him. He said, “It sounds as though things were going well for you two. What happened?”

  L.L. gazed at the fire for a few moments, not the least bit thrilled to be relaying this part of her past. But she understood how difficult, how excruciating, it had been for Tague to share his heartbreak. And knew it was only fair to own up to what had turned her against romance as much as his split from Renee had done the same to him.

  “He became a much more intense person right around our high school graduation,” she told Tague. “Corey thought he’d be with a real band by then—so he was sort of just humoring me by enrolling in college. His parents had the money and he could still pursue his dream because he didn’t have to work. We rented a house close to campus, and when he wasn’t playing or in class, he was auditioning. Mostly for up-and-coming bands. He had tons of offers, but he couldn’t find the right groove, the right fit for his style and ambition. So he turned them all down.”

  L.L. had been impressed with Corey’s talent and his commitment to making sure his gift was put to good use. Yet both of those traits had created a lot of conflict between them.

  “The pressure mounted,” she continued. “Evidently, it didn’t help matters that I wouldn’t sleep with him. I wasn’t ready, not with worrying about how my mother had ended up pregnant and alone. And because I had no idea what our life was going to be like while I was in school and Corey was trying so damn hard to break into the business in a grand way. If he made it big one day and was suddenly on the road for large spans of time, I wanted to be prepared for it, be able to handle it. The house, school, his absence. Whatever else came along.”

  “That’s understandable. Responsibl
e, even.”

  “Admittedly, I was a little scared about being in love when he was on the cusp of greatness.”

  Tague said, “Eventually, it all came to a head.”

  “Yes.”

  His eyes narrowed on her. Consternation flickered in his dark irises. His jaw worked. Then he seemed to catch himself and forced it to still. “Tell me. Let’s get this all out, Loralai. It’s time to get all of this out of our systems.”

  She knew he was right. Yet this wasn’t so easy to reconcile.

  “Loralai,” Tague said again. His arm shifted from the top of the sofa to wrap around her shoulders. Somehow, the protective embrace provided a safe haven for her confession.

  She told him, “I was the one to get him the audition with Deft Riff. Through a friend of a friend. He nailed it. They were already a chart-topping band and had just the right sound. He felt it was the perfect match. We celebrated when he found out he’d landed the job, and I gave him what he wanted. Because he was so elated about the gig, I’d suddenly convinced myself I was ready. Not to mention, Corey had gone on and on about how bright our future was. Our future.”

  She simmered over the way he’d waxed poetic about the life they were going to have. He’d told her he was going to buy them a house in Malibu and she could expand her design firm.

  Never happened.

  She said, “He threw himself into learning all of Deft Riff’s songs and had to quit school to finish their tour with them. He became an overnight superstar. And the fame and fortune went straight to his head. A little shocking, but then again, he’d worked so hard to get there, I guess he felt he deserved the spoils of his sacrifices. I could understand that, to an extent.”

  “You really did admire his talent and dedication.”

  “Yes. Until it bit us in the ass.” Her teeth ground. “Corey didn’t have the balls to tell me he was cheating on me while on tour. With his lead singer, Tamara Ryland. I was at the grocery store and there were Corey and Tamara, draped all over each other at an after-party, the photo plastered on the front of a checkout-stand tabloid. So fucking trite it makes me ill.”

  For L.L., there was nothing quite like the torture of that sort of betrayal and deception.

  There was a distinct edge to her voice as she said, “Initially, I wasn’t inclined to believe one photo. But there were tons of them. All over the rags from numerous parties in different cities, different countries. They didn’t just randomly hookup, they had a full-on affair.”

  “Son of bitch,” Tague seethed. Then took a deep breath. Kissed her forehead. Obviously fought for a less volatile tone as he told her, “Loralai, I’m really sorry.”

  She tamped down the wave of pain that came with Corey’s infidelity. The way he’d devastated her.

  “We were such the perfect couple in high school. Reality hit us pretty fucking hard after we graduated. But Corey got everything he ever wanted. My surrender—which I since swore I would never give again. A famous band and a rock princess.”

  She shifted out of Tague’s embrace and stood, crossing to the fire and staring at the roaring flames. “Maybe I’m just supposed to forgive and forget,” she caustically mused. “My mother did when it came to my father. But it eats at me that Corey didn’t have enough respect for me—for us and all we’d built together—to tell me he wanted to sleep with someone else. To tell me he was in love with someone else. No. I had to fucking read about it with the rest of the goddamn world.” Her voice cracked.

  “That’s incredibly shitty.”

  L.L. turned back to him, fat drops rolling down her flushed cheeks. “We both got shit on.”

  “Yes. And since we both know how it feels,” he reasoned in his lawyerly voice, “we both know not to do that to each other.”

  “I never would,” she vowed.

  “Neither would I.”

  They stared at each other. L.L. tried to latch onto the true source of pain that besieged her soul. And realized that she’d gotten over her fear of giving her heart to Tague. But now had another fear to face.

  “You know,” she said, resisting the natural urge to gnaw her lip. “Corey and I were solid when he went on tour. Three months later…we were over.”

  “Loralai.” Tague got to his feet and took a few wide strides toward her. He pulled her into his arms and said, “I am not a twenty-year-old rock star incapable of keeping his dick in his pants.”

  “No, you’re not.” Her fingertips slid over his silk tie. “You’re a high-powered international attorney who is damn sexy and knows how to make a woman come so hard she sees stars.” Her gaze lifted to his. “Something tells me you have your own groupies.”

  He stared deep into her eyes and said, “I won’t cheat. That’s a guarantee I can make. A promise I will never break.”

  More tears spilled down her cheeks. “If you reach that point when you’re in Tokyo, Tague…”

  38

  She choked on a sob. Squeezed her eyes shut. Then opened them and imploringly said, “Just tell me. Just call me before it happens and tell me that’s your choice. Please. Don’t let me find out any other way.”

  Her heart constricted. The torment of that phone call would rip her apart, no doubt. But to learn of it any other way… L.L. wasn’t sure she could endure it. Because it’d be a million times worse than with Corey. What she felt for Tague was so much more powerful than her teenaged love.

  “Hey,” Tague said as he cupped her face with his hands. Brushed away the dampness with his thumbs. “It’s not going to happen, Loralai. Not while I have you.” He gave her one of his sizzling kisses and L.L. felt his love and desire for her to the depths of her soul.

  But Corey’s surprise visit this morning had unlocked a horrific insecurity.

  And reminded her of the very honest fact that absence didn’t always make the heart grow fonder…

  The week flew by for Tague. An unfortunate reality, because every day that passed brought him that much closer to achieving his dream—at the cost of leaving L.L.

  He asked her to spend the evenings with him and made love to her before they slept and then again when they woke. He truly hadn’t realized when his father had given the official thumbs-up for the Tokyo office exactly what he’d be missing out on—L.L. in his bed every night. Though chances were good that was exactly the reason his father had finally acquiesced.

  Yet Tague had apparently been too consumed with the need to break free of the New York constraints and establish his own legacy to really consider what he’d be giving up, let alone what his father’s true motives were.

  But the more time Tague spent with L.L., the more he knew how difficult it would be to get on that plane on Friday.

  Thursday evening, they met up with Chip, Helena, Meg and Jace at the club. The group took over a collection of sofas in a cozy corner and Meg supplied the bottomless glasses of champagne.

  The conversation was lively—and safe. Good for keeping Tague on a work high, rather than obsessing over the fact that, come tomorrow night, L.L. would not be in his arms when he drifted off to sleep. Now a nearly impossible notion to reconcile.

  As she sat next to him on a plush sofa sipping her champagne and looking drop-dead gorgeous in a clingy red minidress, her cinnamon hair a wild, voluminous mess of plump curls and her glossy lips beckoning him, he once again considered all that he was losing in an attempt to gain the future he wanted.

  Not that he wasn’t certain they could make the relationship work, despite being on different continents. The problem was that L.L. was still apprehensive. Still off-kilter from her ex’s unexpected appearance and having the betrayal amplified because Tague was now leaving her, as Corey had done. But unlike the rocker, Tague was thoroughly committed to her. He did not want any other woman.

  Ever.

  Which made him insanely conflicted on his last night in New York. Especially as she glanced at him over the rim of her crystal flute, consternation swirling in her emerald eyes. He smiled reassuringly. And let Jace chat him
up, keeping the pressure off of Tague and L.L.—and his impending departure.

  Tague liked her friends. He liked being a part of their social network. Though, the urge to get L.L. alone and naked warred with his enjoyment of simply chilling out.

  As the hour approached midnight, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Ready to get out of that dress and let me have my way with you?”

  She gave him a seductive grin, her eyes now glowing provocatively. “From the moment I slipped into it, I was thinking of you peeling it off me.”

  He let out a low groan. “Then we need to get out of here, because it’s all I can think of.”

  They said their goodnights and Tague’s driver took them to his apartment overlooking Central Park. He dropped his keys in the bowl on the foyer table, left his overcoat and L.L.’s on the floor and scooped her up in his arms. The mini she wore with six-inch heels drove him wild. But her naked beneath him was a much more enticing thought.

  He set her on her feet alongside his bed and stripped her bare, his cock pulsating behind the zipper of his dress pants.

  Gazing down at her, with her sexy hair and smoky-accented eyes, he said, “Every single second with you is burned into my brain, Loralai.”

  One corner of her mouth lifted in her usual quirky smile, but that corner quivered. Mist covered her eyes. “From our first coffee shop date, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Or wanting you.”

  Tague was out of his clothes in a heartbeat. He guided her down onto the bed, his body covering hers. His hand swept over her silky skin. He palmed her breast and caressed, his thumb whisking over her pebbled nipple.

  His head dipped and he drew the taut peak into his mouth, suckling deep.