Dying to Live

by Roxy De Winter

  “Yes. I am too actually,” Bao said. The fact that Pete’s case, the one that Bao was pulling along, was moving willingly and with ease frustrated Xin a little.

  “Oh?” Xin asked, raising her eyebrow.

  “Yes. Of course, I wanted to make sure that you’re ok. I also wanted to find out what had happened once you arrived here in America.”

  It was so obvious that this would be what Bao wanted to talk about that Xin rolled her eyes. There was such a noticeable tension between Bao and Pete that Xin had presumed he was going to bring it up himself. Regardless, she definitely intended to talk about it while she had a chance.

  By the time they had each given the other a rundown of their experiences, they were outside the door to the cabin. Bao set Pete’s case upright and extended his hand to open the door. Xin reached out and stopped him.

  “Before we go inside...” She sighed and wished she didn’t need to say this. She decided she would just get it out fast. “Pete has been a good friend to me when he really didn’t need to and...“

  Bao cut her off before she could finish her sentence. “And I haven’t been particularly fair to him. Correct?”

  Xin nodded, feeling somewhat like a child. Even though it was Bao who had been acting like one, she thought to herself.

  “I know that,” he said, looking off into the distance. “I have behaved in a manner that is both immature and self-indulging. I’m a silly old man and I will admit that I felt put out at the thought that you no longer needed my help...”

  “But I...” Xin was cut off again.

  “I know, I know. You’re going to say that you do need me.” Bao smiled down at her. “But really, you don’t. You’re outstanding at your job and even if I hadn’t have come, you would have found a way to put this right.”

  Xin was stunned. She had never heard Dr Bao-Zhi Yuan, her boss and mentor, the man that she had looked up to for all of her professional life, sound so defeated.

  “I don’t know if you’re right,” Xin said seriously. “But irrespective of what you just said, I want you here and I’m glad that you came.”

  “That means a lot to me, Xin. Despite my frostiness, I am grateful to Pete for being there and protecting you. I owe him a debt and an apology.”

  Glad to have the situation resolved, Xin gave Bao a smile and pulled him close to her for a hug.

  “You are a silly old man,” She laughed as she let him go. He laughed too and opened the door.

  “We thought you’d been eaten!” Pete joked as the pair walked in. His easy smile was hard for Xin to understand given their circumstances, but she laughed along with everyone else. Even Bao managed a smile as he followed Xin towards where the group was sat.

  “I believe these are yours?” Bao asked Pete politely, inclining his head towards the suitcase and hold all.

  “Thanks,” Pete said, cocking his head and rising from the armchair he had been occupying.

  “Not a problem,” Bao responded, stepping aside as Pete approached. The men made eye contact and seemed to exchange a look, then slowly Bao raised his hand and held it out to Pete. Pete couldn’t hide the look of confusion that flitted over his features, but it disappeared as quickly as it had arrived and he reached his hand out to meet Bao’s. The guys stood awkwardly in the handshake for a moment and then Pete said, “So... are we good now?”

  “I think so,” The old man said, smiling in spite of himself. Then, in a hushed tone that the others wouldn’t hear, he pulled Pete closer and quickly added, “I hope that you will forgive me. I am grateful for all that you have done for Xin.”

  Pete gave a nod and patted the man’s arm. Xin looked on fondly, before looking away and catching Lucy looking at her. She was glad of another woman’s company and the pair exchanged a look that said ‘what are they like?’

  “Right,” Frank piped up. “Not to break up the bonding session at all, but I’m thinking that we could all use something to eat and some time to at least freshen up a bit. Maybe even sleep? At least before we do anything else?”

  As soon as the words ‘eat’ and ‘sleep’ were mentioned, Xin felt as though it had been days since she last ate or properly rested. The problem was, as they had discovered earlier, the small kitchen area was not stocked with anything beyond coffee, juice and biscuits.

  “Well, Lucy mentioned a food hall earlier. Right?” Pete asked, turning his look to her.

  “I did. But did you miss the part where I also mentioned that it’s not safe?”

  “And where exactly is safe nowadays? We can’t just sit around and starve because we want to avoid trouble. Besides, even if the world hadn’t quite gone to shit yet, there aren’t any shops for miles.” Pete shrugged apologetically.

  Nobody looked particularly happy. Lucy looked like if anyone suggested leaving the marginally safe confines of the cabin, it would make her cry. Frank and Bao had an uncannily similar look of grim acceptance. Xin felt that their expressions just about summed up how she felt, and looking over at Pete she noted that he was the only one who seemed almost totally unfazed.

  “Okay. So, how many of us are going to go?” Frank asked reluctantly.

  “I’m sorry, guys. I know you’ve done a lot for me, but... I just... can’t.” Lucy was on the verge of tears. “I’m not ready for that.” She hung her head, ashamed at her cowardice. Frank placed a hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze.

  “It’s alright, nobody blames you. It was a tough day for you,” Pete sympathised.

  Xin didn’t blame her. They’d all had a tough day but in fairness to the poor girl, she was the only one who’d had to physically fight for her life in these very buildings, and then had to wander the sweltering road in the middle of nowhere.

  “I’m in, though,” Pete said.

  “Me too,” Xin said quietly.

  “Yes, me also,” Bao added.

  “Alright. Me too. We should manage okay with the four of us...“ Frank didn’t get to finish his sentence.

  “Please, don’t make me stay here alone,” Lucy begged, looking at Frank with her wide green eyes. Her lashes were stuck together with the moisture of tears that threatened to leak down her face. This was another reason why Frank hated when girls cried. He couldn’t find it in him to refuse her and looked around at the others for an answer.

  “Someone should stay with her,” Bao said neutrally.

  “Yeah, don’t worry about it mate. We’ll be fine. You keep an eye on her and watch for anyone coming looking for us.” Pete gestured the length of glass windows. He doubted that anyone would be here so soon after setting up the radio, but it made Frank feel better about staying.

  Fifteen minutes later, Xin had emptied her hold all onto one of the bottom bunks. A heap of toiletries and clothing lay scattered across the bed. Realising that her intention was to use it to carry as much food as possible, Pete did the same and Frank found a few empty grocery bags in a cupboard for Bao to take.

  “Alright then. Is it going to be easy enough for us to find?” Xin asked Lucy.

  “Oh, yes. There are plenty of signposts. Once you get to the first bulk of buildings, just look for the biggest one.”

  Xin had a quick look at the map just to be sure that she had some idea of where to go. They were going to have to drive down the long track to the actual base. In the interest of secrecy, it was a long way from the bordering fence that their cabin sat alongside.

  Along with the hand guns they had each taken earlier, Bao and Xin were taking along a shotgun each. Pete had reassured them he would be fine with the machete that he had picked out.

  As ready as they’d ever be, they had piled into the car. They left Frank and Lucy with instructions to keep an eye on the gate and watch the news channels on TV. That way, when they got back they’d have some idea of how widespread the infection had become.

  They drove along the track without seeing anything, until they got to the place where Lucy’s abandoned car was. Xin saw the blood smeared over its crumpled bonnet. She saw the
blood splatters on the road, but she didn’t expect to see a body. Lucy had hit a zombie on the way up the track, but from their experience it would take more than that to put one down permanently.

  “Pete, stop,” Xin said suddenly and without thinking. They had slowed down anyway upon approaching the scene, but Pete looked at her puzzled.

  “Why?” He questioned.

  “I just want to check something,” She answered impatiently.

  “Okay,” Pete said slowing to a smooth halt. “But wait a second first,” he added as Xin was reaching for the door handle.

  “What?” She asked frustrated at the delay.

  “Just slow down a minute, alright? There’s no rush. At least, not at this exact moment. Since we’re doing this as a team, I think it’s fair to ask you what’s going on in your head,” Pete reasoned.

  Xin could see his point. She still felt like she had to figure this out alone, but the help was right there for her.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that earlier on, when Lucy was telling us what happened, she said she hit someone who was infected.” Xin took a pause.

  “Yet, there is a body...” Bao reflected. “I see where you’re going with this.”

  “They’re not so easy to kill... Generally it’s all about the head shot isn’t it?” Pete said, catching onto Xin’s point.

  “I just want to see if we’re wrong. If that is one of the infected and the crash killed it, then maybe there’s another way to kill them?” She finished unconvincingly.

  “Okay, but we’ve gotta be careful, in case it’s not even dead or there are more hanging around. Remember the films? They never check and the monster always leaps up and gets them,” Pete nodded to himself. He was not going to be one of those people.

  “Reassuring, thank you,” Bao said sarcastically.

  Xin opened her door, followed by Pete and Bao. They all shot quick, nervous looks around, checking every direction, but the area was pretty bare. They could see around them and they were, at least for now, alone. Bao held his shotgun at the ready and Pete had his hand hovering over his blade’s handle, prepared to jump into action at a moment’s notice. They hung behind and watched Xin’s back.

  Xin strode forward with determination. She was not scared. Whether that was stupid or not, she couldn’t figure out. She was in work mode and her focus drowned out any other thoughts. All that mattered was what she could piece together from the information in front of her.

  As she drew closer she looked into the blank, glazed eyes of the dead. The question was whether it was the living dead or the truly dead, dead. It didn’t move. And when Xin picked up a stone and threw it, hitting the dead arm, it didn’t react. Pulling out her handgun, she drew closer still. Aiming straight at it, she nudged it with her foot.

  The tension was unbearable and the silence was disconcerting. Xin was waiting for the body to jump up and growl at her, or for someone to creep up and yell ‘BOO!’ But nothing happened.

  “I think it’s safe,” Xin said cautiously, lowering her gun and hoping that she wasn’t speaking too soon.

  “Dr Yuan, can you keep watch?” Pete asked, looking at Bao.

  “Yes, I’ve got this,” he replied. “Oh...” He added as an afterthought. “And you can call me Bao.”

  “Sure thing, Doc,” Pete said, heading over to Xin. He looked down at the corpse. This guy had obviously been in the sun for too long. There was already a repellent smell permeating the air around them. The sorry figure still had his thick, square-rimmed glasses on too. Battered as they were, they had managed to stay on his face.

  “Poor dude,” Pete said, shaking his head. “What do you think?”

  Xin pulled a pair of rubber gloves from her pocket. These were one of the other things that Bao had brought with him, along with an assortment of lab supplies. They hoped that avoiding direct contact with the patients would prevent them from contracting the infection. As far as they knew, it was very unlikely that it was an airborne contagion. She put them on and tentatively reached out. Pete unsheathed the machete, instinctively reacting to the flood of fear he felt for Xin’s safety. She placed her hands on the dead man’s cheeks and let out a sigh when he didn’t start gnashing his teeth at her. The body was stone cold and beginning to stiffen. Xin was thankful that she didn’t have a weak stomach. Hundreds of buzzing flies flitted up from the body, as she rolled his head first to one side and then the other. Her eyes grazed his name badge; Bobby Masters. She pushed that to the back of her mind, accepting this man’s humanity would only make things harder. She then proceeded to briefly examine his injuries. She felt the skin around every bruise and graze and palpated his stomach, checking his whole body before rolling him over and examining his back and spine.

  She stood up and pulled off her gloves. Catching her sad expression, Pete put a hand on her shoulder.

  “Are you alright?”

  She nodded.

  “What’s the verdict?” He asked.

  “He wasn’t one of them,” She replied sorrowfully. “His back is broken but here’s no significant head trauma to have killed him if he was. Besides which, he has no bite wounds, they’re all from the collision.”

  “Meaning that... Lucy hit and killed a healthy, normal person?” Pete questioned in dismay.

  Again Xin only nodded.

  “We can’t tell her that,” Pete stated firmly. “That poor girl feels bad enough as it is. It was an accident. She was probably too scared to even realise what was happening. People can lose their minds in a moment like that.”

  “It’s not her fault,” Bao agreed.

  “We don’t say anything,” Xin said. “It could have happened to any one of us.”

  With Xin’s curiosity sated, the trio returned to the car and travelled the rest of the way in contemplative silence. The experience had given each of them a jolt of reality. These weren’t just ‘monsters’ or ‘zombies’, these were innocent people losing their lives and being twisted into something warped and sickening.

  They bypassed the car park and pulled up as close to the building as they could. It was not very reassuring that the car park was a little over half full, which meant that the car owners were probably still somewhere on the base. They assessed the situation from the car and tried to stay positive. Pete tried to reassure Xin that there were so many buildings nearby, it was doubtful that all of the unfortunates who didn’t manage to escape would be in the one they were headed to.

  None of them were eager to leave the car and all was quiet except for the rumble of the engine. However, it seemed that the noise was enough to attract unwanted attention. Four unsightly bodies appeared from between a mass of smaller buildings.

  Bao, Pete and Xin simultaneously held their breath and froze. They watched as the cluster ambled closer. Xin noted that two of them were female and two were male. Judging from his outfit, one of the males had been part of the military deployment that had been sent out. The two females appeared to have come from the kitchens. It was hard to guess the second male’s role here, his clothes were so shredded and bloodied.

  “What now?” Bao murmured as quietly as he could.

  “We keep quiet and stay still. Let’s see if they leave?” Xin suggested, as the bodies got even closer.

  “I’m going to slowly turn the engine off,” Pete said quietly, barely moving his lips. “It seems to be drawing them closer.”

  He gently moved a hand from the steering wheel to the key in the ignition. With a deep breath in, he turned the key and the growling engine cut out.

  In the sudden silence, they could hear the moans and groans coming from the zombies as their heads jerked towards the car.

  “Oh shit,” he said flatly.

  The dead ran. They lurched forward faster than anything dead ought to be able to, and in a matter of seconds they were clawing at the vehicle, which suddenly seemed too flimsy to protect them.

  “Keep calm,” Pete said hurriedly, not sounding too calm himself. He pulled out his handgun and wound d
own his window just enough to fit the muzzle of his gun through. Looking into the mutated, angry woman’s face that was grizzling at him through the window, he aimed right between the eyes and pulled the trigger. The shot rang out like thunder and blood rained down onto his window. He had a moment to see the round, red hole he had made in her forehead and the widened eyes roll backwards, before the corpse slumped down. These things weren’t too clever though. Attracted by the commotion, the other female stumbled around to his side. A mixed look of confusion and fury dawned on her face as she looked at her fallen companion with her head cocked. Then it leapt at the cracked window, frantically trying to fit it’s hand through.

  The mottled, gnarly fingers clawed at the gap with such ferocity that it’s fingernails became dislodged, peeling repulsively at odd angles. As Pete readied his gun to shoot that one, Xin wound down her window. The two remaining males were still grappling over the hood of the car, enticed by edible humans but too dead to figure out how to get at them. This gave Xin the time she needed to lean out of the window and fire two shotgun blasts at them.

  The first shot hit the one nearest to her and blew the top of its head clean off. Big chucks of skull and brain matter exploded outwards and the body tumbled backwards. The second shot however, didn’t make it’s mark. The awkward angle that she had fired from meant that the bulk of the shot missed completely and the pellets that did hit only got it’s shoulder.

  Another blast rang out as Pete’s handgun took down the last female. Her head jerked backwards and then fell forward. Her forehead smacked against the window. The bullet had penetrated diagonally through her eye socket and reverberated, damaging her nasal cavity and causing a wave of blood to flow from her nostrils. It flooded down the window as she slid lifelessly to the ground.

  With no warning, Bao flung his door wide open and dove out. He lurched around the car until he was almost face to face with the last remaining cadaver, his shotgun raised in front of him. The things attention snatched from Xin, who it had been ambling towards as she reloaded. It’s eyes settled on Bao and it’s mouth stretched open menacingly.