Dying to Live

by Roxy De Winter

  Frank and Lucy waited outside the door of the guard house for the car to pull up. The evening air was much cooler than the rest of the day had been and the sun was sinking on the horizon. They could see the looks of grim triumph on their friends’ faces, as the car got closer. Kicking up a small cloud of dust, the car stopped and its passengers climbed wearily out. Lucy approached first and hugged Xin, before taking the bag she was carrying and shouldering it herself.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay! We saw them attack.” Seeing the look of confusion, Lucy added, “We were watching on the monitors.”

  Xin was tired and glad to be back. She appreciated Lucy’s concern but didn’t know what to say.

  “Oh... Yes. It was...” Xin didn’t know the right word to describe it.

  “Terrifying?” Lucy finished for her. Xin looked at her and nodded, her eyes getting a little watery. It was just beginning to sink in for her, the situation they were now in and the things they would have to do to survive from now on.

  Meanwhile, Frank approached to see if the guys wanted him to carry anything.

  “Nice job, guys,” he said, offering his hand to Pete.

  “Thanks, bud,” Pete said, clasping it briefly before hauling his holdall from the car.

  “And you!” Frank offered Bao a hand, which he shook quickly. “We saw you take down that last one. I don’t know if you’re brilliant or have lost your mind. Whichever it is, nice job.”

  Bao raised his eyebrow. “Well, thank you, I suppose. Here can you carry this?” He asked, handing Frank one of the grocery bags.

  Once they were inside, Lucy said she didn’t mind sorting through the food and cooking something to eat. She felt that of the whole group, she had the most to prove. She had wimped out when the others went out and sacrificed their selves. Now she was going to try and make up for that and be useful.

  As she busied herself filling cupboards and stocking the fridge, the others found comfortable spots to collapse into. Xin, Pete and Bao slumped appreciatively into the comfort of the plush lounge furnishings.

  “So, is there anything to report?” Pete asked, nodding at the television.

  “Not a lot, to be honest,” Frank sighed. “They’re obviously keeping any details hushed up. So nobody knows anything. There’s speculation, of course. There was some old geezer ranting about this place. It may not be important, but he also said he wasn’t leaving despite the evacuation.”

  “Hmm. It could be worth keeping watch. He might decide to come find us,” Bao said.

  “Well, if he does, we may need to be on guard. He seemed a bit mental,” Lucy chirped up from the kitchen.

  “Was there anything else?” Pete asked. “They didn’t give away any more details?”

  “Nope, none at all. They just kept saying that there was ‘a threat to public safety’,” Frank explained, drawing imaginary quote marks in the air. “A couple of the stations have gone off air, though. Apparently, it’s due to the evac and technical difficulties, but who knows...” He trailed off.

  “It looks like we’re on our own then,” Xin stated bluntly.

  “Well, we can’t do much else right now. We’re all worn out. It’s been a rough day, so let’s not worry about it anymore for tonight,” Pete reasoned.

  Everyone was happy to agree that, for the rest of the evening, they would just try and relax and recharge. They would get back to work with clear minds tomorrow.

  In spite of the tiredness flooding over her, Xin insisted on helping Lucy cook. Lucy’s protests that Xin should just rest, fell on deaf ears. Xin needed the distraction. Whilst the two girls muddled together a meal from the scavenged bits and pieces, Xin filled Lucy in on how they had all ended up here. Frank and Pete reset the checkers game and found an old pack of cards. They roped Bao into a few games, but mainly he was happy to thumb through a battered old paperback book he’d brought in his briefcase.

  Despite the fact that the group didn’t really know each other very well at all, when Xin and Lucy had handed out plates of food, there was a feeling of companionship and ease. They ate amicably, sat either on the floor or with their plates on their knees in front of the remaining television stations. They chatted and watched old TV show reruns. The food was finished quickly, everyone was so hungry. Even though neither girl was an amazing cook, the men offered their thanks and appreciatively emptied their plates. After their decision to take it easy for the night, they had boycotted the news channel.

  With full stomachs, the girls managed to convince the unwilling guys to watch some romantic comedy that was showing. Xin and Lucy sprawled on the couch, taking an end each with their feet meeting in the middle. Both were sobbing gently, watching the couple on screen.

  “So, she likes him, but he likes the other girl, and the other girl likes her?” Frank asked bewildered.

  “Shhhhhh!” The girl’s hissed back at him.

  Pete chuckled a little, but his focus didn’t move from the movie. Frank rolled his eyes and got up from the floor where he was sat. Never very good at understanding most things feminine, he gave up and retired to the security monitors to relieve Bao. He found the old man dozing in the chair.

  “Anything?” Frank asked quietly, rousing him from his light nap.

  “Nothing,” Bao frowned, shaking his head to bring himself round. “It’s a little unnerving out here.”

  “’Cos it’s quiet?” Frank asked.

  “I suppose that’s it, yes. It’s just hard to tell if it’s too quiet. Where are they all?”

  “Maybe we could ask Lucy more about that tomorrow, she might have some ideas. I wouldn’t recommend interrupting them now, though.” Frank gestured to the women having a moment on the sofa.

  “Yes.” Bao gazed over at them. “It’s quite surprising, actually. If you had seen Xin dissect a rabbit, you would never believe she could be so... Tender.” Bao said, rising from the chair and stretching. “Well, if you’re taking over here, I think I shall go and rest my head for a while. I have no desire to watch whatever that is.”

  Frank nodded. “Aye Aye, Boss.”

  The old man passed the seating area and Lucy looked up as he did.

  “Hey, I heard what you said. I wouldn’t worry too much about it being quiet. You couldn’t even imagine how big the base is. There’s no reason that they should head this way, unless something attracted them. But, even that would have to be loud enough to travel all the way down there,” She smiled. He nodded to her in response and she turned back to the film.

  When the credits began to roll, both girls were crying freely.

  “That was so sad!” Lucy snivelled.

  “I can’t believe he died!” Xin sniffed, wiping her eyes.

  “I know, and when he’d just told her how he felt about her too.”

  “Well, I can’t believe I didn’t hate that,” Pete said, rolling his head to try and work the kinks out of his neck.

  The girls laughed at him. “You’re a secret softie!” Lucy giggled.

  “Not so secret anymore,” Frank called over from the monitors. “Bro, I saw you tearing up.”

  “I was not!” Pete laughed, throwing a cushion over at him.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Frank winked. “What time is it anyway?”

  “About 1am,” Pete told him. “Wanna get some sleep? I don’t mind taking over.”

  “Don’t be silly. I’m going to do the night watch,” Lucy said, and before anyone could try and protest, she added, “And I won’t take any arguments. You’ve all done more than I have today.”

  “Hey, quit talking like that,” Frank admonished. “You’ve had just as tough a day as anyone. Besides, I slept for a lot of the drive out here. I’m okay for at least a few hours yet.”

  “Well, then I’ll watch with you until you need to sleep,” Lucy responded stubbornly.

  Frank shrugged and Pete had to stifle a yawn, which prevented him from pushing the subject.

  “I’m going to get ready for bed then. It might be the last time I get a free
pass for the night.” Xin gathered up some things and headed to the small bathroom. Pete said goodnight, headed to the bunk area, stripped to his boxers and climbed up into the bunk above Bao’s. When Xin returned, she had on some cotton pyjamas and her long hair was loose and flowing. She didn’t head straight to the bunks. She wanted to quickly see the monitors for herself.

  “I just want to put my mind at ease a little,” she explained to Frank and Lucy, as she leaned over their shoulders. After seeing the empty night for herself, she told them, “It’s nice to see no immediate danger, but I’m still unsure of how well I will sleep tonight.”

  “Don’t worry, Xin. If anything happens, we’ll see it coming. Besides, so long as the zombies on the base stay on the base, we’re pretty safe,” Frank tried to reassure her. It didn’t work and she shivered. Lucy got up and gave her a quick hug, leaving a hand on Xin’s shoulder she said, “We’ll be okay, you know.”

  Xin forced a smile and nodded. “Thanks, Luce.” She turned to leave, but then a though hit her and she turned to Lucy again. “Hey, do you think you could cut my hair for me tomorrow, please? I’m loathe to do it, but I’ve been thinking about it and concluded that in these times, it may be impractical. It makes me too easy to grab, even when it’s tied back.”

  Lucy smiled sadly and reached a hand out to run it through Xin’s perfect, ebony locks.

  “Sure I will. It’s such a shame, though. It’s so beautiful.”

  “It’s just hair, I suppose.” Xin forced another smile. “It won’t matter anyway, if it gets me killed.”

  “Alright. I’m no hairdresser but I can see your point,” she agreed.

  “Thank you,” Xin said gratefully.

  Lucy nodded and returned to her seat, as Xin wandered off to pick a bed. Silently, she reflected on the years it had taken to grow her hair, and the internal pride she felt when she brushed it every morning. She scolded herself. Such superficial things shouldn’t matter anymore, just survival. Her last though before she collapsed and fell into a deep but disturbed sleep, was not about herself, but about her new friends and how grateful she was to have met them all. Particularly since she had expected this to be such a solitary mission.

  9.

  ‘Harry Thomas here. Me and Rodge are... Were, cops. I never had to fire my gun once before all of this. I know Roger had, though. Only once, and it really haunted him. I guess now I know how it feels. We didn’t know what was happening, but we were told to assist with the evacuation. We were on a standard patrol, but were instructed to stop everyone and ensure that they were heading to the nearest check point. When we heard the broadcast that was calling people back, we took it upon ourselves to investigate. We were told not to go into the area they were calling the ‘dead zone’ but, since the broadcast jeopardised the evacuation, we thought that our orders justified doing so.’

  “It’s too dark. I can barely read what it says,” Rodge grumbled, as he craned his head out of the window of the squad car, trying to read the painted directions.

  “Oh, stop it. What’s it say?” Harry asked.

  “I think it just says to keep going until the next marker.” Roger pulled his head back into the car and turned to Harry. “Why do we have to be doing this in the middle of the night?”

  “Oh, come on. Surely this is better than going door to door, or pulling over every car?”

  “I guess so. I’d mind a lot less if we knew what all this was about.”

  Rodge was middle aged and bald. His favourite hobby was to complain about everything. Harry didn’t mind being partnered with him, but sometimes he wondered why Rodge was even still in the job. He couldn’t chase anyone if the need arose. It was many years since he had passed a fitness test and he had developed quite a gut since then. He griped about every job they were sent on and begrudged the fact that his declining eyesight meant he was no longer permitted to drive. Given the speeds he had enjoyed cruising at, Harry saw this as a blessing. The guy wasn’t all bad, though. He was loyal and reliable, and in this job all Harry wanted of a partner was to know that they had his back. Roger definitely was that guy. He’d taken a great personal risk to heroically take down a guy who’d pulled a gun on Harry once. Being older than Harry, he had also been in the job for a lot longer and therefore had his respect.

  “Well, whoever is sending out that message, may well be able to tell us a thing or two. I don’t know what they’re playing at, but since they’re right in the middle of the dead zone they may know something,” Harry suggested.

  “I wouldn’t count on it. It’ll more than likely just be crazy folk trying to stir up some trouble. You’ve heard what some of those whack jobs are saying.” Harry rolled his eyes at this and kept driving. “Speaking of whack jobs, did you see old Doug Willis being interviewed today? I thought we’d have to arrest him again.”

  “I have a feeling we still might have to at some point.” Harry’s features were flat and unenthused as he said this. The thought of having Doug in the back of his squad car again, was less than pleasant.

  A couple of miles further up the road, a stumbling figure appeared in the headlights.

  “Oh, what’s this fool doing?” Roger huffed in exasperation. “Pull over, Harry.”

  Harry didn’t need Roger to tell him. Their orders were to stop everyone they came across. As the figure loomed closer in the beams, Harry stopped and flashed the lights, giving the siren a quick blast for good measure. The figure lurched to a halt and its head snapped up. Harry saw it was a woman. Her clothes were dirty, tattered and splattered with blood.

  “Rodge, I think she’s hurt,” Harry said, unclipping his seat belt.

  “I’ll go and help her,” Rodge replied, hurrying out of his seatbelt and opening the car door. “You look in the trunk, find the first aid bag.”

  Harry jumped from the car and headed round to the rear of the vehicle, whilst Roger approached the woman.

  “Ma’am, we’re state patrol officers. We’re evacuating the area. Are you okay? Do you need assistance? Maybe we could drive you--” Harry heard, as he reached for the medical bag which lay beside the standard issue weaponry. Quicker than he had time to comprehend, he heard what he was sure was growling, followed by a yell.

  “What the hell? Harry, get this crazy bitch off’a me!”

  He dropped the bag and un-holstered his weapon. Running around the vehicle, he saw that the woman had launched herself at Roger. It looked like he was using all of his strength just to hold her off. Her fingers were digging into his fleshy upper arms and her mouth snapped at him as she angled her head, trying to get at him. She was only a small woman, but Roger was struggling with his hands on her chin and neck pushing against her.

  “Step away, ma’am!” Harry yelled. “If you refuse to desist from violence I will be forced to shoot!”

  “Forget that! She ain’t letting go! Get her off!” Roger shouted, turning red with the exertion.

  “HEY LADY!” Harry roared even louder. This time, the woman seemed to pause and look around. Roger mistook her pause for a sign of submission, and removed a hand to reach for his own gun. She saw her chance and, quick as a flash, she had clamped her teeth down on his neck.

  “ARGHHHH SHIT!” Roger shrieked. The woman swung her head away, hard, and in a spurt of crimson blood, turned back with a hunk of flesh hanging victoriously from between her lips.

  For a moment, Harry stood in horror. He vaguely registered, what sounded like, a loud rumbling engine. He recovered himself quickly, took aim and shot the woman in the chest. The woman staggered and her mouth opened in shock. Pieces of Roger’s flesh flopped out and landed with a splat at her feet. She quickly regained herself and, with a look of fury, started towards Harry.

  Then, there was an ear-splitting crack. A burst of brain matter and blood rained around him and the woman dropped to the floor. Harry’s jaw dropped and he looked around to see a man, stood beside a massive RV and clutching a shotgun. For a few brief seconds, they just stared at each other.


  “Ungh,” Roger groaned, breaking the tension and jerking Harry into action.

  “There’s an emergency pack just--” He began to tell the stranger, as he bounded to Roger’s side.

  “I’m on it,” the man replied, running to the open trunk.

  Harry dashed over to where Roger was slumped in the dust, clutching his heavily bleeding neck. He was as white as a sheet and his hands and shirt were soaked a deep, sticky red.

  “It’s gonna be okay, Rodge. I got you,” Harry said, trying to help staunch the flow of blood pouring from the wound.

  “Here, officer,” the stranger said from behind Harry. He thrust the first aid pack into his hand.

  Harry grabbed it and tore it open. He pulled out the largest pad of gauze in the bag and ripped off the wrappings.

  “Rodge, I need you to move your hands for a moment. Hold this on it,” Harry said quickly, trying to appear calm although he was panicking inside.

  As Rogers hands came away from the wound, it gaped and poured fresh streams of blood. Harry slapped the gauze to it quickly.

  “Hold it there, Rodge. Hold it there.”

  Roger was panting and gasping, whilst Harry fumbled for a bandage.

  “Harry...” He gurgled.

  “Hush, Rodge. Save your strength. Here, let me just wrap this...”

  “NO!” Roger said, using one hand to stay Harry’s.

  “What? I need to--” Harry tried to protest.

  “Too much... Blood,” Roger managed, between great whooping breaths. “Hospital... Too far.”

  Harry understood, but his heart would not let him give up on his friend.

  “No, you’re gonna be fine,” He said, persisting with the bandage.

  Roger let out a wet sounding laugh that caused him to cough. A trickle of blood leaked from his lips and more splashed from his wound. “Fool...” He said, with a smile.

  Only seconds later, the smile froze on his face and his eyes lost their focus, staring out unseeingly into the night.

  Harry let go of the bandage when he realised that his friend had fallen still and silent. He put a hand on the dead man’s shoulder, with moisture shining in his eyes, and hung his head. “I’m sorry, Rodge. I let you down, buddy.”